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  • A Pretty Miserable Existance.

    Despite everything it's cracked up to be, I feel that life today, especially in America, or rather - quality of life (for everybody) has just gotten worse and worse. I mean its just getting worse and worse. Coming from a primal standpoint - as I've come to start applying this method of thinking to nearly all areas of life - especially if you live in big cities...everyday you are forced to be in close proximities of people you have no idea who they are. Your customs and exchanges are different...its just, awkward. And we all are taught that this is normal, and not to have any negative reaction to this....for some unconscious fear of being labeled intolerant, or racist, or whatever.

    I know this is probably the most politically incorrect post on this site, but I figured this crowd; the primal crowd was okay with dealing with reality. The truth is, political correctness has done us in. Humans, as I see it - were meant to be social creatures. We banded together in small but tight knit social groups and communities for support; in short, happiness. When you move to a big city, you are by yourself, forced to interact with many different people all coming from different places. The social cohesion is lost. I honestly believe it is just a big MESS. People struggle, and I believe it is why a great portion of people are lonely, and isolated, especially inside cities. I know I, for one, feel this acutely. And everybody suffers. It doesn't matter who you are. I don't think city living, or modern living, for that matter - is all its cracked up to be, at ALL. Infact I'd say its pretty worse than it was even 60 years ago. People have lost their community, and with this horrible and simplistic idea that we are all supposed to adapt flawlessly into and revel in, multiculturalism, comes with a whole list of problems that politicians or sociologists seem to have failed to anticipate in their naive - lets throw all these people together and it will be this wonderful joyous utopia, where everyone will get along. It isn't true. It's flat out untrue, actually. There is more crime here in America, than anywhere I can think of. And yeah, there is racial tension. Lots of it. There is alot of tension that occurs and awkwardness when you try to pretend that these issues don't exist, because you don't want them to (an idealist approach) that flies in the face of reality.

    I don't know what I'm suggesting, because - honestly, I wouldn't know what TO suggest. I can just talk about what I observe. But I have no solution. I go to college in a city on the east coast, and have struggled to sort of find a 'band' of folks i can fit in with, or feel some sense of community...it has been very difficult, and i don't feel I've been able to do it yet. That's really all i want, is some kind of band to fit in with, and I'd be happy. Some sense of common community.
    In a sea of millions of people, so many of us are isolated.

    What are your thoughts?

  • #2
    This is why I live in the country/rural America. Small towns is where it's at. I know my neighbors, they know me. I go to the mall and see 5 people I went to high school with (I'm 37). If I need to move something heavy, my neighbor offers to bring over his tractor and help me.

    Maybe I'm a hick. (Admittedly, I'm the only Asian redneck around here. Actually, I am the only Asian at all in my very white town with a population of 200... not including the cows and chickens. lol) But I find it easiest to build a sense of community and belonging in an environment that isn't full of crime, pollution, and mistrust.

    It's a lot easier to know your neighbor when you know they'll WATCH your house while you're on vacation instead of ROBBING it.
    Female, 40 yrs old, 5', 120 lbs (post-pregnancy)
    Went Primal January 2, 2012!

    Paleo Cooking for Cavekids cookbook

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    • #3
      That's really all i want, is some kind of band to fit in with, and I'd be happy. Some sense of common community.
      That is a basic human need, so it's good that you're feeling it. Except, I would suggest happiness placed without the condition. Happiness isn't necessarily a place you "get" to, so BE happy.

      Forums like these are a new way of of expressing that need to connect. So, it's also good that you are here. To me, family is my first and most reinforced band. Followed by friends and neighbors, and others with common interests where we've created the band.

      In summary, my thoughts:
      Be Happy
      Reinforce connections
      Create
      There's a crack inside of everything, that's how the light gets in. ~Leonard Cohen
      Journal, From Sick to Fit: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread45653.html

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      • #4
        You're in college, away from your old friends and haven't made any new friends. I know it sucks, but it isn't because of PC ness and it certainly isn't because of multiculturalism. I'm white and live in a predominantly black, inner-city neighborhood and my neighbors are friendlier than any I've had in recent memory. Everyone knows everyone else by name, we smile, say hello, chat over the fence, invite each other into our homes, look out for each other, etc.

        It's difficult to meet people when everyone's in a new environment, stressed, worried about their own problems. If you want friends join a club or volunteer. Being nice and smiling works with people of all cultures.
        Buy house, Demolish house, Build house.

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        • #5
          "E Pluribus Unum: Diversity and Community in the 21st Century" [PDF]is the title of Putnam's five-year study, which makes hash out of the politically correct cliché, "Our diversity is our strength."

          After 30,000 interviews, Putnam concludes and reports, against his own progressive convictions, that ethnic and racial diversity can be devastating to communities and destructive of community values.

          The greater the diversity the greater the distrust, says Putnam. In racially and ethnically mixed communities, not only do people not trust strangers, they do not even trust their own kind. They withdraw into themselves, they support community activity less, they vote less.

          "People living in ethnically diverse settings appear to 'hunker down,' that is, to pull in like a turtle," writes Putnam.

          They tend to "withdraw even from close friends, to expect the worst from their community and its leaders, to volunteer less, give less to charity and work on community projects less often, to register to vote less, to agitate for social reform more but have less faith they can actually make a difference, and to huddle unhappily in front of the television."

          Writes columnist John Leo, "Putnam adds a crushing footnote: His findings 'may underestimate the real effect of diversity on social withdrawal.'"
          Robert Putnam: Diversity Is Our Destruction | VDARE.com

          Diversity and division share the same root word for a reason.
          Ye shall know them by their fruits.

          Comment


          • #6
            Just curious as to how old you are? I'm not judging the content of your post, but I think at a certain age people seek community more strongly than at other ages, and wanted to see if my hunch was correct.

            EDIT: Somehow missed the part where you mentioned going to college, so I will assume you are late teens, early 20s. This fits my hypothesis of a particular age when people seek community. When you're first on your own, and making your way through the complexities of the world, it only makes sense that you're looking for your tribe, so to speak. Most people go through this. And they find their tribe. People I got to know in my 20s remain solid friends now decades later. To that end, you need to forge your own tribe. There's no blueprint for that, except that you gravitate towards people who have similar interests.
            Last edited by Finnegans Wake; 01-18-2012, 09:32 AM. Reason: See above.

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            • #7
              I believe we all have to build our own "Tribe". You know, grow another family of like minded people.

              I found my tribe doing things that I love. My advice is to join a gym or a sport team, volunteer or do some service and just get involved in what is happening around you. You will make meaningful connections pretty quickly.

              You most likely know this but, because I am a mother of an autistic child, I'll just say it... Look people in the eye and smile. That lets them know you are open to making a connection.
              ~Blog~

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by PrimalStewart View Post
                Despite everything it's cracked up to be, I feel that life today, especially in America, or rather - quality of life (for everybody) has just gotten worse and worse. I mean its just getting worse and worse. Coming from a primal standpoint - as I've come to start applying this method of thinking to nearly all areas of life - especially if you live in big cities...everyday you are forced to be in close proximities of people you have no idea who they are. Your customs and exchanges are different...its just, awkward. And we all are taught that this is normal, and not to have any negative reaction to this....for some unconscious fear of being labeled intolerant, or racist, or whatever.

                I know this is probably the most politically incorrect post on this site, but I figured this crowd; the primal crowd was okay with dealing with reality. The truth is, political correctness has done us in. Humans, as I see it - were meant to be social creatures. We banded together in small but tight knit social groups and communities for support; in short, happiness. When you move to a big city, you are by yourself, forced to interact with many different people all coming from different places. The social cohesion is lost. I honestly believe it is just a big MESS. People struggle, and I believe it is why a great portion of people are lonely, and isolated, especially inside cities. I know I, for one, feel this acutely. And everybody suffers. It doesn't matter who you are. I don't think city living, or modern living, for that matter - is all its cracked up to be, at ALL. Infact I'd say its pretty worse than it was even 60 years ago. People have lost their community, and with this horrible and simplistic idea that we are all supposed to adapt flawlessly into and revel in, multiculturalism, comes with a whole list of problems that politicians or sociologists seem to have failed to anticipate in their naive - lets throw all these people together and it will be this wonderful joyous utopia, where everyone will get along. It isn't true. It's flat out untrue, actually. There is more crime here in America, than anywhere I can think of. And yeah, there is racial tension. Lots of it. There is alot of tension that occurs and awkwardness when you try to pretend that these issues don't exist, because you don't want them to (an idealist approach) that flies in the face of reality.

                I don't know what I'm suggesting, because - honestly, I wouldn't know what TO suggest. I can just talk about what I observe. But I have no solution. I go to college in a city on the east coast, and have struggled to sort of find a 'band' of folks i can fit in with, or feel some sense of community...it has been very difficult, and i don't feel I've been able to do it yet. That's really all i want, is some kind of band to fit in with, and I'd be happy. Some sense of common community.
                In a sea of millions of people, so many of us are isolated.

                What are your thoughts?
                bs romanticism of the past
                Starting Date: Dec 18, 2010
                Starting Weight: 294 pounds
                Current Weight: 235 pounds
                Goal Weight: 195 pounds

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Laconophile View Post
                  Robert Putnam: Diversity Is Our Destruction | VDARE.com

                  Diversity and division share the same root word for a reason.
                  So fifty years ago our diversity was a strength. At what point did it become a liability? Or is that just smokescreen? I suspect it is, and it comes from a place of fear rather than a place of exceptionalism.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Finnegans Wake View Post
                    So fifty years ago our diversity was a strength. At what point did it become a liability? Or is that just smokescreen? I suspect it is, and it comes from a place of fear rather than a place of exceptionalism.
                    It was never our strength, don't know why you would think that. Most people ignore the private and public run Americanization programs that existed prior to WW1 and continued running in various forms into the 60s. Also it wasn't that diverse, 1/4 of the US population was German at any given time up until 1990.
                    Last edited by kenn; 01-18-2012, 09:03 AM.
                    Starting Date: Dec 18, 2010
                    Starting Weight: 294 pounds
                    Current Weight: 235 pounds
                    Goal Weight: 195 pounds

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Big cities aren't for everybody. I personally love them. The hustle and bustle, new faces every day, the diversity. I LIKE diversity. Sounds like you'd be happier in a smaller college town.

                      Have you tried simply being more outgoing? I graduated from college last spring and had an amazing time. But my freshmen year was awful. I was REALLY lonely and had few friends. The following year I made the conscious decision to be more outgoing and had one of the best years of my life.

                      Feeling sorry for yourself and posting on MDA won't get you anywhere. Go out, take action, and make friends!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        One thing that bothers me is the idea of "first world problems". As if just because you live in a land of plenty means you can't complain about anything. "Why are you all depressed?", they say. "Don't you realize how many people are starving in the world?"
                        What they forget is that those starving people have things that we all miss out on - community, love, and nature. Not as important as food as far as survival goes, but necessary for a sense of well-being. Even our food itself follows this trend: we have plenty of carbohydrate, fat, and protein but not enough vitamins. Of course macronutrients are more important for survival, but it's the micronutrients that make us healthy.
                        We do have plenty, but that's the source of the problem. We keep thinking that more will make us happy, and when it doesn't we feel bad so we buy more and continue in a downward spiral. It's not a character flaw that makes us sad when we live in abundance; it's abundance itself. The environment is the problem.

                        Of course, crying about not getting an iPhone for Christmas is probably a character flaw. Maybe that is a first world problem, but it's still the environment that creates that mentality. When we lose our abundance, we don't know how to deal with it and feel like we've lost everything. It is a pretty bad situation.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          You know what, the best solution is to lead a life you are happy with, and accept that others may choose to live differently. That someone chooses to live differently does not mean you are wrong. It just works for them. Then you can start to learn from others and become really even a more rounded person.

                          I have a lot of friends who rip on religious people. I used to. Then I let myself know some deeply religious people. They aren't my people- we are different. But they are good and I learn something from them.

                          I think more than anything, we have become a nation of excuses. Get out, live your life and don't blame others for your unhappiness.

                          http://maggiesfeast.wordpress.com/
                          Check out my blog. Hope to share lots of great recipes and ideas!

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                          • #14
                            Join a fraternity

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by kenn View Post
                              It was never our strength, don't know why you would think that. Most people ignore the private and public run Americanization programs that existed prior to WW1 and continued running in various forms into the 60s. Also it wasn't that diverse, 1/4 of the US population was German at any given time up until 1990.
                              It certainly was a strenght. Each new wave of immigrants was treated poorly, but each added its indelible imprint on our society. What we consider fundamentally American is not simply the product of Germans, British, Irish, etc. The fact that people come from all over the world to pursue the American dream contributes to the health of American society, not its dysfunction. Isolationist nations (think Iran) are the opposite, and it should be clear that they suffer for it.

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