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She-Groks Only.......... cuz it works different for us
1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
2. Eat to heal
3. Move to live
4. Embrace today
5. Live with intention
6. Respect my body
7. Cultivate joy
8. Find my passion
9. Meditate on peace in my soul
I think the problem for me is that as I shrink all the proportions stay the same and all the bulges stay in the same place. They just get smaller. I swear I get shorter, too. Obviously that last one isn't true, but I do feel more like an incredibly shrinking woman than an incredibly slenderizing woman.
The body dismorphic thing is such a bugaboo. When I was gaining I would try to see if any part of me still looked okay. While I was gaining, I could fool myself pretty well that everything was still okay. Up to a point anyway. As I was losing it pleased me to see it come off. But now that I'm at some kind of stable weight, my mind sees me getting fat when maybe it's not really happening. My pants today feel looser than ever but the image in the mirror looks fatter than ever. Argh. Turn it off!
I feel the same way. I do see changes in the upper body at least now. I am trying to hold on to that.
I think I am going to try 4 Hour Body prescription next. It is very close to my Supermetabolism book that saved me from going bonkers on CW. Beans in, potatoes out.
Yes, that's exactly the kind of stuff that annoys me so much. The whole condescending, settle for what you have thing. Is self-love expressed in complacency, or in fighting against the odds to get the best for oneself? To get what we deserve?
I don't think that beauty was more inclusive in the past. I think it was more exclusive. The modern idea of beauty - good natural body - is at least accessible. You cannot do much about the fetishes of the past. The hair color, and the demand to have a face that sets forth a thousand ships. 24" in the waist? Doable! Being natural blond with wavy locks in a stocky, dark-haired nation? One in a million. Authors of article like that always assume that the drive to be beautiful is external, the pressure of media, the BS. But it is internal. It sits at the core of every woman. The "Mirror, mirror on the Wall" wasn't written in 1970'ies.... T
he authors of these articles forget women stuffed in corsets, elongating their necks, binding their feet in childhood.... The pursuit of beauty is old, universal and omnipresent. And only very few do it for the men. Most do it for the mirror. For SELF.
I feel we need more people telling us: You CAN do it! and HOW, rather than GIVE THE HECK UP. IT'S GENETIC.
Leida, you are too much. Have you ever seen a psychologist for your body dis-morphia/ disordered eating?
I have to start to agree with us. Stop defining yourself by what you see in the mirror. Start defining yourself by what you can do - how strong you are, how long of a hike you can go on without being exhausted, or being able to keep up with younger women playing a sport. As long as you keep letting the mirror define your beauty you will likely never be happy with yourself.
No, I do not have the See the Specialist Syndrome that seem to impact so many Americans. I think I have the healthy attitude towards my body. It is only derailed by artifacts of the modern life: the office work, the super-availability of bad food, the modern spin on evolutionary laziness
Start defining yourself by what you can do - how strong you are, how long of a hike you can go on without being exhausted, or being able to keep up with younger women playing a sport. As long as you keep letting the mirror define your beauty you will likely never be happy with yourself.
I do all that. Mirror image is just one of the categories. I will be happy with myself; I know exactly what I want, and it is not somebody elses' body. It is mine, minus the fat layer that is possible to remove. Other women did it. I should be able too.
Thank you to everyone...you all have inspired me so much. Many times I would have given up even at this early stage, even with the scale moving in the right direction. In the past I would always let that little voice in my head convince me that it was okay to eat something I shouldn't because I was doing so well. Being a part of this group and reading the post everyday keeps me focused and keeps that little voice in my head at bay. So thank you!
I have been reading all of your post about what you see in the mirror and well I seem to have the opposite problem (not sure if that's healthy either!) when I look in the mirror what I see doesn't seem to look bad to me...I have an hour glass shape and seem to gain or lose weight in proportion to that. Then I get on the scale and feel like there is no way that weight can look good. So I have started to not trust what I see in the mirror. It really messes with my head, I just try not to think about it. Right now this way of eating is still fun and challenging (I hope it stays that way) so I try to focus on that. I have lost 10lbs and I am SO happy but I am also realistic and understand that it won't always be that way. I will hit plateaus and the closer I get to my goal weight the harder it will become. I'm ok with that. I feel great I enjoy the challenge, I especially like seeing the looks on my childrens faces when they start to understand the reasonings and benefits of why we are doing this.
As a family we spent yesterday driving around to all the Amish vegetable stands to get fresh fruits and vegies, then a stop at the natural food store to see what we could find. Was able to pick up some magnesium (thank you to whom ever recommended it for my restless leg syndrome) some raw honey, and some tea.
Today starts my work week so I wanted to check in and say thanks before the chaos starts!!!
For those commenting on Vitamin D: I had my levels checked last July and they were at 23 (very low!). I started supplementing sometime last fall at 10,000 IU per day for a few months. I don't think I dropped down to 8,000 IU until maybe February, then within the last couple of months, I've dropped down to 6,000 IU per day. My levels are now at 59, which is the highest recorded level I've ever had (since I remember my results from the age of 16, now 24). I'm going to keep supplementing at 5-6000 IU per day for the rest of the summer and re-test in fall, probably. I'll have to see what's a good level to keep my Seasonal Affective Disorder at bay over the winter (basically eradicated it last winter, so I think a level over 40 is good for me, but I don't know how much D to take to maintain that).
See, and that is exactly what bugs me. The idea that being attractive is unrealistic. Why is the desire to have the efforts put in the gym pay off as the fit reflection in the mirror to the level of shameful vanity or mental disease or something else abnormal? Are we accept the idea that time spent will net us abstract "better health", but shy away from the proof positive of it that you can see clear as day, as beautiful deltoid, trim waist and slender legs? I just fail to see what is so healthy about saggy thighs... If someone went to the Uni, and went through 3 years, and dropped out, and said it was good enough for them won't we all be thinking internally that it is weird to put all this time in, and walk out without the degree? Not to put a little bit more effort? Would we believe that the person really lacks brain-power to finish 8 more courses in Year 4? Obviously, you can't grow 5 inches taller, but losing 2 inches off the waistline shouldn't be impossible, no? Particularly when plenty others did it?
My dear, I did not say that being attractive is unrealistic. I am saying that it is possible to be attractive without conforming to a very narrow definition of beauty. I will never have a wasp waist. It's genetic. I am the rectangular body type. So I accept it. Beating myself up over a large waist is as stupid as beating myself up for not being four inches taller. But my husband tells me quite happily about my beautiful legs, butt, and breasts, so you know what? I'm going to believe him. And accept that there are other kinds of beautiful besides willowy and elegant. I would love to be willowy and elegant, but I haven't got the raw materials. But there are other kinds of beautiful and I am one of them, even with my short neck, thick waist, and middle-aged skin (although I kind of lucked out there too. I don't wrinkle badly at all). You are also beautiful - I've seen your pictures - and I feel badly for you that you can't see it. There is nothing wrong with trying hard to be your best. But there is something very wrong with being miserable about where you are at.
Kim, Tomi, Baker, thanks. Glad it struck a chord.
And Kerry, stick with it. Do buy new clothes, or at least stop wearing the baggy ones. (But do save at least one outfit, so you can try it on every now and again to marvel at how much room there is in it.) And you will reach a point, quite suddenly, when everyone will see the difference. I think eventually our proportions change so that people start seeing us in a new category. When we are very overweight, it takes quite a while to get there. I am betting you are on the verge of hitting it. Be prepared. Everyone will let you know. And the good news is, you will change categories faster after that. I think it's probably mathematical, to tell you the truth, but I am way too lazy to try to figure it out. Something about the width to height ratio, and how the mind will round it off. When the ratio changes enough, people see you as an entirely different shape. I say that because almost everybody seems to notice at the same time, so there must be some kind of objective thing going on.
5'2", 55 years, Primal since April. Pre-Primal weight loss, from 216.6 to 157.8
Primal low: 140.2 (Dec. 3) Goal weight: 135?
Main Primal goal: beating back my CFS enough to function more normally and start writing again
More and more, our life has been governed by specialists, who know too little of what lies outside their province to be able to know enough about what takes place within it.
- Lewis Mumford
I perfectly accept that I cannot be willowy and elegant. But I also accept that I am over-fat, and need to work the fat off to show the muscle that I work so hard on putting on. Again, not someone else's body, but my own, minus the fat that I do not need, and that is not healthy. I am obviously not going to cut my ribs out, but what's the value of being proud of the muffin top? Where is wisdom in looking at the bulge at the outside of the thigh and being content with it sitting there for all to see?
Why it is totally acceptable to work hard on increasing a number of plates you put on the barbell for deadlift, something that nobody will ever notice, but you get sent to a shrink every time you mention you are adding those plates in order to achieve visible improvements to the body not to merely lift more iron off the floor?
In Ural mountains they used to send the potential brides to be running down the hill, and prized the women who didn't have the 'jiggle'.
Ancient Greeks right before Perciles had so little food available, that their 60 y.o. people took poison at the family dinner in a farewell setting. They were completely blown away by how much Persians eat and by the notion of dessert, which was sweetmeats. Ancient Greeks, the epitome of athleticism as a nation in our whole Western civilization. Do you think Ancient Greek women norm was 25% BF?
Romans considered being fat to be a failing of character.
So, why do we have to hear of stupid Rubens and Titians? That's one short wave of fat being glorified by the art since paleo Venuses. I don't find their women beautiful at all. Nice hair color, but those waves of pearly-white fat on the massive buttocks... eww.
Leida, I hope you don't have any daughters who are subjected to your skewed and obsessed body focus.
You do need help. When was the last time you went longer than a month without exercising, dieting or binging or calling yourself fat? Do you really see yourself? Really? Because when you've posted pictures here, I don't see this layer of fat you are talking about. You want to be 15% BF? You need drugs for that. If you think the average woman can achieve that without drugs and health complications, you are wrong.
The belly roll, the bulge on the outer thigh, and the muffin top. It is very visible. I don't know if it is 15% or 18% that gets rid of that, but by pic comparison I am between 22-25% BF. Paula did not mention taking drugs. I see plenty of women who do not sport extra fat that I sport in the pool. Zoebird on this forms speculated that dropping to 17-18% BF is no biggie. i would take that if I could stay there, not ride back up every time I get close.
Occam Razor says that all things being equal, the simplest explanation is the best. Yep, there is some genetic variation, but all and all, I figure those fit women are simply better than I am at not over-eating. My over-eating comes from the life-long addiction to sugar. Now, that's the real problem, not that I look at the mirror the wrong way.
Every time I tried to 'just accept myself', I gained weight. In the past 2 months, I did not control my food intake, but ate clean. The result? 4 lbs gained and gearing up. That's the second time that happened. No external control - unstoppable weight gain. And I have had a rather scary glimpse to where that road ends. I have seen myself overweight. I see that photo in my mind. I am afraid of ever getting there again. It is so easy for me. I just don't have to do anything... give myself a break, you know.