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To evangelise, or not?

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  • To evangelise, or not?

    This is a pretty familiar story, I suppose. There's this private forum I just joined, where one of the members posted recently to explain why she'd been away. Basically stressful events and fibromyalgia with complications. She was asking for advice as well as just checking in, and various things she wrote set alarm bells ringing about her diet, so I asked if she would like some thoughts on food.

    She said OK, and I posted pretty much what you'd expect me to post. Summary of the evolutionary logic, summary of what you eat and don't eat, snippet of personal experience with joint pain (it went away), and links to a couple of the most helpful threads I could find here about fibromyalgia. They are both good threads with posts from people who've made a substantial difference through diet and supplements.

    She says she doesn't see this as something she could do... and, well, includes just about every CW cliche you ever heard about paleo eating all packed into one sweet and friendly post. 'Everything in moderation' and 'whole food groups' and all the rest.

    So I said I respected her decisiveness, that in my view the only 'test' worth its salt was a personal 30 day experiment (hoping I might sow a seed...) to weigh up the results versus how important the food is to you, and that I know what she means about oats, they were the last thing I gave up (true).

    On the one hand, I know about the only thing in the world more annoying than someone who keeps droning on about their wonder-diet is someone in perfect health haranguing someone who's miserably ill about a wonder-cure. Of course I could refute all the twaddle she posted point by point, but it seems incredibly mean-spirited to get into an argument with her - and pointless, if what it really comes down to is just that she doesn't have the energy to contemplate the change.

    On the other hand, I'd bet the house that going Primal would help her at least a bit, and oh how I wish she'd give it a 30 day trial.

    Thoughts? Anything more I could do to help, do you think? Or have I done all I can? (I live on a different continent, so turning up on her doorstep with food is sadly not an option.)

  • #2
    You've done pretty much all you can do, outside of linking to other sites (MDA, Robb Wolf, etc.).
    Are you a college student, trying to navigate college while being Primal? Do you know any other PB college students on a tight budget? Heck, for that matter, are YOU trying to live Primal on a budget? Enroll at Primal University!

    For after all what is man in nature? A nothing in relation to infinity, all in relation to nothing, a central point between nothing and all and infinitely far from understanding either.
    -- Blaise Pascal


    • #3
      You seem to have it well scoped out but here's my post based on the familiar stories I've heard here. I probably wouldn't push unless someone very close to me was in desperate need.

      Here's my rant on "everything in moderation."
      Ancestral Health Info

      I design websites and blogs for a living. If you would like a blog or website designed by someone who understands Primal, see my web page.

      Primal Blueprint Explorer My blog for people who are not into the Grok thing. Since starting the blog, I have moved close to being Archevore instead of Primal. But Mark's Daily Apple is still the best source of information about living an ancestral lifestyle.


      • #4
        I think you've doen waht you can. People can't change until they really want to by themselves. maybe one day she's ready, and might look into the info you provided her with.


        • #5
          I have found myself in similar situations on both sides of the fence. It sounds like you have given her some wonderful, tactful and not too arrogant advice. As many of us would know, sometimes it takes many different exposures to a similar idea before it starts to sink in. I for one, can go back years to when the 'seed' was first planted for me. It took lots more failures and lots more experiments before I nurtured that little seed and really got it growing. So although she may not have grasped the concept yet, she may come across something else one day that links in with what you said and maybe then the time will be right for her to embrace it.


          • #6
            yup, i would let it go now.

            and honestly, some people don't want to get well. it's the secondary reason for being sick. being sick means that they get something out of it.

            example, grandma is lonely and no one visits her. grandma gets cancer. everyone visits her and she is not lonely. if cancer gets cured, she fears being lonely again. thus, she strives to keep cancer at bay -- not heading quickly to death by cancer -- but not seeking a cure for cancer either, because she doesn't want to be lonely. this assumes a cure-able cancer, of course.

            but i'm sure you get my drift.


            • #7
              I think you did the best you could. I find myself in this situation pretty often and in the past I used to get mad about it, now I just let it go. Some people just do not want to change what they are used to / CW tells them and sometimes they may have their good resons as well. I just feel sad about it...


              • #8
                Thank you for the reassurance! That's what I thought, but I wanted to check I wasn't kidding myself. And Hedonist? Nice posts!

                If I had it to do over - which I don't, of course - I might start with the idea of a 30 day trial. Maybe that would've made it easier to hear.


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Hedonist View Post
                  You seem to have it well scoped out but here's my post based on the familiar stories I've heard here. I probably wouldn't push unless someone very close to me was in desperate need.

                  Here's my rant on "everything in moderation."
                  thumbs up for your blog!