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  • #31
    Originally posted by jenni View Post
    I wish! All of the hospitals in the area I lived in were very rigid. My last had to be a c-section because my first baby had been a section and it was hospital policy. I was so upset and confused and angry. By the time they wheeled me into the operating room I was dialated 9cm and fully effaced Several years before that I had been allowed to do VBAC in that same hospital, but since the birth of my middle son and younger daughter the policy had changed. I was also not allowed to walk around or sit up due to the monitors and them not wanting to move it along since they were scrambling to find another hospital to take me as I was refusing the c-section. I finally caved. And regretted it. Xavier was born with fluid in his lungs and the ped. doc. was angry. He felt the lungs would have been expelled during normal birth and I was so happy to have someone on my side, albeit a bit late.
    I am so sorry this happened to you. It's horrible. This is why people literally drive from other states to birth at Phoenix Baptist Hospital! I can't believe they wouldn't let you VBAC after you had suceesfully VBAC'd. How ridiculous!!!

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    • #32
      I love reading about natural birth experiences. My mom did not have any. My boyfriend's sister had 2/3 in a regular hospital setting. I found out last night (completely randomly) during pillow talk that my boyfriend is completely pro-natural birthing! I was very pleased to discover that. If I ever make babies with this guy (a long ways off, I hope), I'm glad to know that he'll support my decision to go without drugs and with minimal intervention.
      Depression Lies

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      • #33
        I have had 3 babies, all of them in hospitals, and all after just 1 shot of demerol. I had originally thought about going natural, but when it came down to it, a shot of demerol made a lot of difference in the tension I was feeling from the birth pains. I was told all 3 times that I have a high to9lerance for pain. I think if women have pain meds, they shouldn't end up feeling like a failure, because they had meds. The research I did at the time led me to believe that the less interventions that could be avoided, the better, but that demerol in itself is not usually a big issue, especially if you only get one shot. It slows some ladies up, but it tended to speed me along, because I relaxed better. I think if I were to give birth again, I would in a hospital setting - you can still have tons of control over how you want the process to go, but if God forbit, something bad did happen, you would have immediate access to the best medical care for your baby or yourself. The last baby there was some concern about me hemmorhaging right after giving birth - it didn't happen, but if it did at home, it could have been a very dangerous situation.

        I did not ever give birth strapped down on my back and with my feet in stirrups. I decided not to go with a consistent fetal monitor that would have had me basically pinned to the bed - they just came in occasionally and listened to the baby's heart beat with a stethoscope. Other than being in a hospital, things very much happened very naturally. Baby number 3 was born with his water bag still over his head (which was a very weird experience - nothing hard to push against) and I had no ripping or tearing, and the nurse-midwife there was actually the one who delivered him The doctor didn't make it in time.

        With every birth, I had great nurses. I have heard of people who have had bad experiences, but I never have. I also spent only 36 hours in the hospital with baby #1 22 years ago, and 12 and 8 hours in with the last 2 respectively. Have a home birth if you want to, but it is not the only good option, and not the only "natural" option.

        Also, be open - you may think you want your birth to go one way, but when it comes down to it, you may feel comfortable with different choices than you were first thinking would be right for you - you may not know til you get there - and every birth is different.
        Karin

        A joyful heart is good medicine

        He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose. - Jim Elliot

        Mmmmm. Real food is good.

        My Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread29685.html

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        • #34
          Gentle Birth, Gentle Mothering is one of my favorite books about birth physiology & different interventions. Written by an enlightened Australian physician, Dr. Sarah Buckley.
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          • #35
            Originally posted by JKC View Post
            I think if women have pain meds, they shouldn't end up feeling like a failure, because they had meds..
            I totally agree, and don't think ANY mom should EVER feel like a failure, for ANY reason, after birth--no matter what happened. My sister had a 42 hour labor in an amazing hospital w/ an amazing midwife (who she chose after lots of research--the maternity ward there is very much like a birth center, from what I saw/experienced as her doula--not the norm for our area). Around hour 30 of her labor she got a single shot of nubain, and although it didn't seem to touch her pain during contractions, she was able to sleep between them (even if that sleep was only seconds to a minute). She feels (and I agree) that the shot of nubain really helped her to conserve her energy and made it more possible for her to have a vaginal birth. (And I think we are just long laborers naturally--she was primal during the entire pregnancy, and we both labored for-ev-er.)

            I guess the single shot (which really seemed like *nothing* during her labor, to me as an observer) takes away that 'natural' title, but it was one of the most beautiful, amazing, and 'natural' births I've ever seen. (And I've seen a few.)

            The last baby there was some concern about me hemmorhaging right after giving birth - it didn't happen, but if it did at home, it could have been a very dangerous situation.
            <snip>
            Have a home birth if you want to, but it is not the only good option, and not the only "natural" option.
            Just wanted to share that I personally did have a postpartum hemorrhage at home (which my midwife addressed immediately w/ a shot of pitocin--I did not need to go to the hospital although I would have had it been necessary.) Every situation is so different, and I feel the most important aspect of any birth, along with the safety of the baby and mom, is that the mom is comfortable with the setting and empowered. I was very very very comfortable with my very experienced and qualified midwife, and comfortable with the distance to the nearest hospital. (And very uncomfortable with the thought of giving birth in the hospital, although if it was necessary to transfer to the hospital for a complication, I would have gone in a moment.) Home birth was right *for me*, but is certainly not the best thing for every woman. And like I said, my sister's birth in the hospital was really an amazing and beautiful thing to witness. No two births are alike, and being aware of all the options and feeling empowered by making our own choices is really important IMO.

            Also, be open - you may think you want your birth to go one way, but when it comes down to it, you may feel comfortable with different choices than you were first thinking would be right for you - you may not know til you get there - and every birth is different.
            This advice is invaluable. For me, even though I had a successful homebirth, it still ended up different than I expected it to (I expected a 24ish hour labor--no more, and was laboring for over 50 hours. It is soooooo tiring to labor for so long, at least in my own experience.) I actually needed to mourn the loss of my fantasy birth in my head, and learn how to love the experience I really had, after my son was born. (Took some months, but I am so grateful for it now.)

            Really thought provoking points Karin, and just wanted to respond!

            Oh, and to the OP, as far as best position for birthing, it depends. I spent the majority of my labor standing, walking, and leaning against the wall w/ my husband pressing on my back (back labor) during the contractions. For the actual pushing, squatting worked best *for me*. (I actually pushed in many different positions, including on my back, on hands and knees, semi standing, etc. Squatting with my arms over my husband's legs, hanging from the edge of the bed was the position I was in when my son came out.) Physiologically, squatting has many benefits during birth (you can see some of them here--scroll down to the 'advantages' list.) Moving into a position that is most comfortable for you is probably the most important thing though IMO.
            My Before/After Pics
            Are you new here? Be sure to check these links FIRST, before reading anything on the forum! Succeed & PB 101

            "I am a work in progress." -Ani DiFranco

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            • #36
              another great book is "active chidbirth" by janet balaskas. it's not really about how to birth so much as physically preparing your body for birth in the same way you might prepare your body for a marathon or whatnot. this enables you to have the strength and energy to birth in the position that feels right at the moment. the location of the birth is highly dependent on legality, insurance, etc. the most important aspects are your comfort level/attitude, your care provider (are they really on board with your goals, or are they just paying lip service?), and your support (doula and partner). and don't assume that all midwives are the same; some are fantastic and others are highly interventive. so interview as many as it takes, and remember that you can change practitioners at any point in a pregnancy.
              my primal journal:
              http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum...Primal-Journal

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              • #37
                Originally posted by Saoirse View Post
                another great book is "active chidbirth" by janet balaskas. it's not really about how to birth so much as physically preparing your body for birth in the same way you might prepare your body for a marathon or whatnot. this enables you to have the strength and energy to birth in the position that feels right at the moment. the location of the birth is highly dependent on legality, insurance, etc. the most important aspects are your comfort level/attitude, your care provider (are they really on board with your goals, or are they just paying lip service?), and your support (doula and partner). and don't assume that all midwives are the same; some are fantastic and others are highly interventive. so interview as many as it takes, and remember that you can change practitioners at any point in a pregnancy.
                I loved that book Saoirse.
                My Before/After Pics
                Are you new here? Be sure to check these links FIRST, before reading anything on the forum! Succeed & PB 101

                "I am a work in progress." -Ani DiFranco

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                • #38
                  me too. i did squats religiously during my first pregnancy, but i ended up birthing on my back. i had a really fast labor and arrived at the hospital minutes before birth, so my midwife didn't make it in time. the nurses had me birth like that, i didn't think to do my own thing. other two babies were fast births at home unassisted. i think one was born while i was sort of kneeling, and i caught my third baby while squatting (his was a solo birth).
                  my primal journal:
                  http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum...Primal-Journal

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                  • #39
                    I've personally delivered 8 babies and each a little differently. Even though I'm new here, maybe I'm qualified to answer as to my experience?

                    First baby- premature at 25 weeks, high risk delivery: no pain meds but about every other intervention short of c-section. Scary! 2nd baby- hospital delivery with epidural: hated the epi, didn't bond well with baby at all (nursery). Was a difficult time in my life as a mother. 3rd baby- hopsital delivery, no pain meds, jerk-off doctor. Worst experience ever. 4th baby- hospital birth with an approved "birth plan" that got me absolutely nothing thanks to "hospital policy" Still was confined to bed and fetal monitor, but doc did allow hubby to deliver the baby. Best possible hospital birth but still not what I wanted.

                    Fifth baby, switched to care of homebirth midwife at about 27 weeks. Delivered at home with hubby and two great ladies to help me, kneeling by my own bed. No tearing at all despite "needing" four previous episiotomies. So awesome we immediately started talking about next time.

                    Sixth baby, due to life circumstances we decided to plan for unassisted homebirth (no midwife). Pregnancy was awesome, but at 36 weeks the baby died. We decided to still deliver at home, I birthed her by myself three days after ultrasound confirmed her passing. Very difficult time, but never regretted not going in for an induction.

                    Seventh baby, planned homebirth with midwife. I didn't call early enough, labor progressed very quickly, and midwife didn't get there until after baby was born. Baby had a true knot in her cord (very rare) but hubby helped me and everything went perfectly. I spent most of my labor sitting on the toilet, then pushed her out half kneeling, half squatting by our bed. Total time in labor, less than three hours, about 20 minutes from transition to birth. Speedy!

                    Eighth baby, planned to use the same midwife, but she flaked out on me and we ended up on our own AGAIN. Poor presentation with this one, back labor was horrible. Wandered through the house and yard complaining and (occasionally) cursing, LOL! Baby was born after about six hours, just after midnight on July 5th (I tried for an Independence baby, I really tried!).

                    Sorry to write a novel, this just happens to be a topic I'm passionate about. To answer to OP, the "right" place and position for giving birth is whichever the MOTHER chooses, with support from the baby's father when possible and appropriate. It's probably obvious from the above that I am partial to homebirth. But really... There is no one right way to birth, and every Mom should be empowered and supported to make the decision that is best for her.

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                    • #40
                      Originally posted by jhmomofmany View Post
                      I've personally delivered 8 babies and each a little differently. Even though I'm new here, maybe I'm qualified to answer as to my experience?
                      Of course!
                      Baby had a true knot in her cord (very rare) but hubby helped me and everything went perfectly.
                      My son did too! (And was fine--homebirth as well.)

                      There is no one right way to birth, and every Mom should be empowered and supported to make the decision that is best for her.
                      Love this!

                      And Saoirse, I really dreamed of catching my baby while squatting. Ha. Although I was squatting as I pushed him out, I was not thinking at all about catching him then.
                      My Before/After Pics
                      Are you new here? Be sure to check these links FIRST, before reading anything on the forum! Succeed & PB 101

                      "I am a work in progress." -Ani DiFranco

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                      • #41
                        heh, it wasn't intentional. my husband didn't make it to the birth in time, so it was just me in the bathroom.

                        There is no one right way to birth, and every Mom should be empowered and supported to make the decision that is best for her.
                        with the addition of "and her baby" at the end, i completely agree.
                        my primal journal:
                        http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum...Primal-Journal

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                        • #42
                          Both of mine were born at home with no drugs. I told the midwives to not even bring drugs with them, because I knew that once things got rolling I'd be screaming for them if they were available. Kind of like sugar and wheat; if they're not around, you can't have them in a moment of weakness!

                          Had one on my back (where I was sort of thrown on the bed by the midwives after I almost gave birth in the toilet bowl, and I was unable to get up again) and the other on my hands and knees. Hands and knees was definitely better.

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                          • #43
                            Originally posted by Saoirse View Post
                            heh, it wasn't intentional. my husband didn't make it to the birth in time, so it was just me in the bathroom.

                            with the addition of "and her baby" at the end, i completely agree.
                            I cannot even imagine what that is like, as my labor was days long...around hour 52 (when he was coming out) I was too tired to even imagine trying to catch him. I'm really content w/ my one kiddo, but if I ever had another, I'd LOVE to have the experience of a faster birth, just to feel what it is like. (I'm sure its extremely intense!)

                            +1 on the addition!
                            My Before/After Pics
                            Are you new here? Be sure to check these links FIRST, before reading anything on the forum! Succeed & PB 101

                            "I am a work in progress." -Ani DiFranco

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                            • #44
                              Originally posted by June View Post
                              Should you use a medical center and all the drugs?

                              Try for a home birth?

                              What position - laying down or squatting?

                              In water?

                              Etc.

                              Do you all have experience with any of the alternative ways to give birth? Any tips or advice is requested. .
                              (I'm not pregnant, just curious)
                              My first 2 kids were born by natural childbirth in hospital birthing centers with midwives in attendance (under doctor supervision). If I recall they had birthing chairs, The birthing rooms were like nice hotel rooms with tubs for soaking, but you had the comfort of the adjacent hospital in case of complications. No meds, long, 24-26 hours of long, hard labor both times.

                              The third child was born in a state that did not allow midwives and the doctor raced in at the last minute to " catch" the baby. In the absence of midwife support I caved and got an epidural, and let me tell you, it was a glorious relief! I had managed to get this one down to 21 hours, most of it at home with the support of a neighbor who had been a Labor and Delivery nurse.

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                              • #45
                                Originally posted by jenni View Post
                                Yes, it's amazing how you are treated as having an illness now, rather than just pregnant.

                                Someone mentioned the napoleonic complex nurses. Funny, with my second child I was trying to moan through the pain of each contraction and the nurse kept tapping my hand and telling me, "no noise Jennifer, no noise..." over and over. I remember looking up in desperation at my husband hoping he would shut her up. lol
                                Where did the nurse think you were, in a classroom or a church? Ridiculous!

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