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A thread for those TTC

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  • Thanks--it's hard, I don't want to sound too cold or clinical about it. I've been randomly sobbing all day long right in the middle of perfectly normal activities. I just took up quibbling with kenn in a stupid political thread just to think about something else for a while.
    Earlier I was cooking dinner feeling pretty okay and then all the sudden just kinda slid down in the corner and cried and cried. I have to give my partner some hard-core care cred. No matter how quiet I am about it, he finds me and sits with me through it. My usual MO in times of stress is isolation, so this is very hard for me to accept, but... it's also a real lesson in who he is, and I love him fiercely.

    It'll get better, and we'll have babies. I actually feel "real" about that now in a way that didn't quite click after my previous miscarriages.
    “Falconry is not a hobby or an amusement; it is a rage. You eat and drink it, sleep it and think it. You tremble to write of it, even in recollection. It is as King James the First remarked, an extreme stirrer up of passions.” --T.H. White, The Godstone and the Blackymor

    "The world must be all fucked up when men travel first class and literature goes as freight."
    - Gabriel Garcia Marquez, One Hundred Years of Solitude

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    • And hey, I will be thinking the BEST thoughts for you! I'm DYING for some good news, somewhere ;0)
      “Falconry is not a hobby or an amusement; it is a rage. You eat and drink it, sleep it and think it. You tremble to write of it, even in recollection. It is as King James the First remarked, an extreme stirrer up of passions.” --T.H. White, The Godstone and the Blackymor

      "The world must be all fucked up when men travel first class and literature goes as freight."
      - Gabriel Garcia Marquez, One Hundred Years of Solitude

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      • Thanks, Mixie!! And I'm very glad to hear you've got such an amazing partner!

        Well, it's cycle day 30 and no sign of my period... My longest cycle this year has been 31 days so I am just trying to patiently wait for CD32 before testing. My boobs are still MEGA sore, still feeling weird about food- getting nauseous after eating, finding anything 'wet' like stew to be VERY unappetizing. *sigh* It sucks when the ONE thing your body should be able to do (further the species) is Just. Not. Happening. It's even more frustrating when my mom tells me that you only had but to look at her and she'd fall pregnant when she was younger. Apparently it's not hereditary. Maybe this will be my month, though...

        Hope everyone else is doing well.

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        • Fingers crossed for you HeatherJ!
          Mixie I'm gutted to hear your news. I'm hoping for some good news from someone too.

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          • I'm out. Started on thursday, 3 days late. Just long enough to get my hopes up. Suuuuuuuuuuuucks.

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            • Originally posted by HeatherJ View Post
              I'm out. Started on thursday, 3 days late. Just long enough to get my hopes up. Suuuuuuuuuuuucks.
              Sorry to hear that, it does suck! Our 3rd IUI failed, yesterday =(.

              So, if my FSH levels are fine, I'm ovulating, husband's swimmers are fine, tiny bit of endometriosis cleared out, cervical mucus looks good........ what else could be wrong? Something must be wrong because I've never gotten pregnant. What else can the doctor check for?
              Cooking Primal with Otter - Journal
              Otter's (Defunct) Primal Log
              "Not baked goods, Professor, baked bads!" ~ The Tick

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              • Hi everyone,

                Just checking back in after a hiatus. Thank you, everyone, for your kind thoughts.

                Mixie, I am SO SORRY to hear about your miscarriage. I know personally how difficult that is. How are you doing? Please take the time to mourn and to feel what you are feeling. My thoughts are with you.

                Ottercat, I'm sorry to hear your news too. It is a puzzle wrapped in a conundrum: everything looks "fine" on paper, but still no pregnancy! It is something that a lot of people experience. I hope that you will have some good news in the new year.

                Take care, everyone, and thank you again for your kind thoughts.I'm certainly feeling better. We're going to try again in March/April. It'll be our last chance, perhaps, so I am going to try to do what I can to be in the healthiest state I can be. That being said, I have gotten a bit off track over the last month, but I am cutting myself some slack until the first of the year. Let me know if anyone is interested in doing another whole30 at the beginning of the year.

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                • Just wanted to update while I was here.
                  I posted a few times at the beginning of this thread.
                  I think I posted after my 4th chemical pregnancy? If not, yeah, that happened.
                  Well... I got another BFP this month on a completely natural cycle.
                  This is actually the first true cycle after my last miscarriage. We were going to start trying again with meds after Christmas.
                  Well color me completely frickin shocked when I tested on 8dpo with an FRER and a faint pink 2nd line showed up! O_O
                  I went in for a beta the next day and it only came in at a 7!!UGH
                  My RE didn't seem very optimistic, but wanted me to come in in a week for a repeat beta.
                  I called in on the next monday to come in sooner. 14dpo, my beta had gone up to 113 which is about a 30hr doubling time. YAY!
                  I go back in tomorrow for my 3rd beta @ 20dpo and I am SO nervous.
                  I've continued testing and my tests have been slowly but surely getting darker.
                  So yeah... FX that this little bean decides to stick around.
                  DD born August 2012
                  TTC #2
                  SW: 1/20/14- 212.4
                  CW: 2/21/14- 202.6 (9.8 loss)
                  Goal: Short term, get below 200 and get pregnant. Long term, get to 120-130
                  Mini goal, get in to a size 12.

                  My boring uneventful journal for your viewing pleasure

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                  • HeatherJ, I just read the thread more carefully and saw your disappointing news. I'm so sorry

                    Lisa, I have my fingers, toes and earlobes crossed for you about your test today. I'm sending good thoughts!

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                    • I'd be up for Whole30 the beginning of the year. We are going to start TTC in January and I've tried to stay on track but...yeah...I suck at being good around the holidays. I'm good for three, four days, then someone has a party, or the neighbor stops by with fresh-baked gingerbread and all my good intentions just crumble. Doesn't help hubby and I just bounce off each other. I suppose if we could synchronize and at least ONE of us stands up and says NO we'd be fine but we're like two little kids on a dare-"I'll have a cookie if you will. Well, since YOU are I'll have one too." five minutes later "Weren't there two dozen cookies on this plate?????"

                      Dmc, Mixie, HeatherJ-I am so sorry. *hugs*
                      See what I'm up to: The Primal Gardener

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                      • Kaylee, i like that: your willpower crumbles (like a cookie, or gingerbread or...) My students have been making me all kinds of sweets and i have been eating them, I'm afraid. Since the last failed IVF I have definitely gotten off the PB plan. Glad to hear you're on board for a Whole30. I don't know what it says about me, but I find it actually easier to do a Whole30 than to do PB 90%...

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                        • Dmc-I do great on Whole30 as well. I think because, since there is no rope available, I can't hang myself (ehhh....THAT wasn't the greatest metaphor...oh well) where as 80% primal I do great till I have a sad day (like yesterday, and yes, I scarfed up several double chocolate chunk cookies) or something really stressful happens. As long as I have plenty of leftovers or hubby cooks and gets through the episode I can usually stay ok, but if I have to cook I'm screwed. I know I use food as a comfort/reward-if I could just break that then I'd probably have lost 100 pounds by now instead of yo-yo'ing so much. *sigh*
                          See what I'm up to: The Primal Gardener

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                          • I found I've been really well able to resist grain foods with no problem--I even went to a cookie-decorating party this weekend and took a box of primal shortbread--but am having a real issue with sugar. Strangely, fruit juice (heavy pulp OJ, cranberry/blueberry, grapefruit) has become a real problem for me since we had non-primal family in the house over Thanksgiving, and fruit juice is the only non-primal food thing that managed to make it into the house. Happily I think it's all gone now, but it definitely stalled my weight loss in the last week or so.
                            I don't know why it is that I can resist flour with zero problems but cranberry juice calls me like black tar heroin ><

                            Thanks for the kind words ladies... trying not to think too much about it until after Christmas, but am certainly keeping all digits crossed for everyone here!

                            Incidentally, a dear friend who has been a midwife/NP/CNM since before god recommended a cycle or two of dong quai and chasteberry to correct a luteal phase defect--she said she'd had irregular menses (6 mos, 2 mos, 4 mos, all over the map) her whole reproductive life, then tried one month of dong quai in her 30s and had consistent 27-29 day cycles for the next fifteen years!
                            I haven't tried it yet, but the research (via pubmed) looks promising--especially for the chasteberry!
                            “Falconry is not a hobby or an amusement; it is a rage. You eat and drink it, sleep it and think it. You tremble to write of it, even in recollection. It is as King James the First remarked, an extreme stirrer up of passions.” --T.H. White, The Godstone and the Blackymor

                            "The world must be all fucked up when men travel first class and literature goes as freight."
                            - Gabriel Garcia Marquez, One Hundred Years of Solitude

                            Comment


                            • I'm not sure, ghjv9i91f, if you're asking me about natural cycles. We did try to conceive naturally. Because of our age, we moved pretty quickly to injectables. and then we had a chance to do free IVF, so we ran with it. I have heard about cough medicine helping for people who have low cervical fluid, although that wasn't my problem.

                              Ottercat, I don't know what your age is, but if the IUI's don't work after a time or two more, you might choose to go with the next step if that is an option for you. My doctor suggested that if a protocol doesn't work after three or four times it might be good to move onto the next step, if that is something that is an option for you. That being said, I do know people who have had little success and then gotten pregnant after changing their diet, doing acupuncture, etc. I'm older (42) and one of the things my doctor told me was that the shell of eggs can be harder for the sperm to penetrate as we get older. Although my two IVFs weren't successful, I did have 100% of my 9 eggs fertilize, which was a bit of a surprise since we had tried to get pregnant for over a year and a half.

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                              • How is everyone doing?

                                Still not successful here in TTC but I think we have made some progress. I started acupuncture 2-3 times a month back in August. Almost immediately my cycles went from being 40-50 days down to low 30's. Period intensity was still pretty high and I was having a lot of cramping and such up to two weeks prior to starting my period.

                                In Oct or so I finally had my hormones checked, estrogen was in normal ranges but progesterone was low (what we suspected). Doc put me on a pretty low dose of oral progesterone. So I have been on that supplement since mid October.

                                Almost instantly on the progesterone my cycles shortened down to 27-28 days. My lh surge seems to be like clockwork and luteal phase is still at 14 days (it always was), so that is good. My periods have shortened in length and reduced in intensity by about 20% or so. Improvement....they still knock me off my feet, but its definitely an improvement.

                                I am doing a clean 30 this month, no alcohol, no dairy, no grain cheats, and no sugar. I have been doing pretty good diet wise, but I figured being really clean for a month or two would be a good thing.

                                The only downside is MAN, I am an ANGRY person while on progesterone!! I seem to have a super short fuse and want to snap at everyone, grrrr.

                                So I am very hopeful right now. If we are not successful in the next cycle or so then off to a fertility specialist and time for hubby to get checked up .
                                Erin
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