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  • Well, it's confirmed, he's pre-diabetic

    And I don't see this ending well.

    After a month or so of incessant badgering on my part, I finally got my husband to agree to a blood test this morning. His fasting blood sugar level is in the 120s. He got the standard lecture about food & beverage intake, which included the usual CW horseshit about whole grains, artificial sweeteners and fruit juice instead of soda pop. We went to lunch after the Dr. apppointment and he ordered a large Pepsi with his food. When the waitress left I said "WTF?" and he said he "forgot". We get home and he's into the Countrytime lemonade.

    Denial? Death wish? I honestly don't understand how, once presented with the proof of this condition, a person would deliberately continue a WOE that guarantees prolonged suffering and early death. He watched his father die of heart disease and diabetes, saw how he dreaded the dialysis sessions and the pain he was in. I . just . don't . get . it.

  • #2
    At least it's not full-blown diabetes!! He can still turn it around--don't be forceful but be a good influence. Even if it turns to diabetes, it is still reversible with a Primal diet, albeit harder.

    I'm sure he is still digesting all of this, maybe being a bit rebellious, but denial is often just the first stage before getting serious and turning it around. Trust me, he is thinking about all of this.

    Good luck to you both!

    Comment


    • #3
      I am so sorry.

      One thing I learned in nursing school regarding helping people change came from a class called "Motivational Interviewing." Everyone has a part of themselves that wants to be healthier, everyone has a side that is attached to the habits they have that are self-destructive. If you take the role of the healthy side urging giving up the habit, the other person feels obligated to speak up for (or act out) the attachment to the habit.

      If you take the position of acknowledging how hard it is to give up a habit and say things like "I know how much you enjoy your Pepsi, that would be really hard to give up" the other person is not put on the defensive for how much they don't want to give it up. It gives them room to consider whether they could. The more we represent the "be healthy" position, the more they take up the cause of the unhealthy habit.

      An image we were given was that the two of you walk into a room to have this conversation and there are two chairs to sit in. "Healthy Changes" chair and "Unhealthy Habit" chair. If you sit down in the "Healthy Changes" chair, that leaves only the "Unhealthy Habit" chair for the other person to sit in because that person wants to be whole and therefore needs to include the part of them that LOVES their unhealthy habit.

      Trust that there really is a part of him that doesn't want to become diabetic, that wants to be healthy. Validate the part that doesn't want to change so that he doesn't have to and is freed up to listen to what his healthier self might want to do.

      It can also be helpful to ask people something along the lines of, "So honey, with this new diagnosis, what, if any, changes do you feel ready to make now?" It acknowledges that changes are called for, validates that he has the power to make them, and says that you respect his timeline.

      Now, if you have fears and concerns as his wife for your shared future, feel free to state them. That is very different from nagging him to change.

      Comment


      • #4
        well all is not lost, yet. i was pre-diabetic and was able to turn it around using a CW low fat diet (yes seriously) even lost 50lbs in the process. however it took a big commitment on my part to get there. constant counting of calories and going hungry. if you can get him to eat paleo it is soooo much easier
        Primal Chaos
        37yo 6'5"
        6-19-2011 393lbs 60" waist
        current 338lbs 49" waist
        goal 240lbs 35" waist

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        • #5
          HTownGirl, Barb, thanks for the commiseration and suggestions. I know he's still digesting this information (how's that for a bad pun?) and even though I told him it was probably coming, a little shocked to actually see the test results in black & white.

          I was so hoping he'd see how Primal worked for me - seven months into it I'm back to my high school weight (100 lbs.), have crazy energy, am getting so much work done both around the house and at my job .... you guys know how it is. But he claims he's 'different' and can't drink plain water or coffee with just cream or give up bread or not put sugar on EVERY FREAKING THING and what's the point of life if he can't enjoy his food and on & on & on.

          Sigh ... I'll cross my fingers and give it time to sink in while I employ some of the psychological warfare Barb suggested.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Mike Gager View Post
            well all is not lost, yet. i was pre-diabetic and was able to turn it around using a CW low fat diet (yes seriously) even lost 50lbs in the process. however it took a big commitment on my part to get there. constant counting of calories and going hungry. if you can get him to eat paleo it is soooo much easier
            Mike, thanks for the encouragement. Were you an off-the-scale sugar addict at the time? That's what we're dealing with in this case. I've tried the 'month of hell for a lifetime of health' plea - nada, wouldn't even consider it.

            Comment


            • #7
              So I was exactly where your husband was January of this year. Pre-Diabetic. HA1C of 8.0, Avg. glucose of 208 mg/dL, Triglycerides of 236 mg/dL. Doctor put me on Metformin to control my blood sugar.

              Fast forward to now. My HA1C is 5.6, Avg. glucose is 114 mg/dL, and Triglyceride is 90!

              I did this all not by exercising like crazy, but by following the PB way of eating. And I don't feel one bit deprived.

              The real focus, mechanically, is just to eliminate sugar and starchy carbs. Out went the coke, pepsi, diet soda, sweetened ice tea, ice cream, desserts, noodles, rice, oatmeal, pasta, potatoes, and bananas (sugar and starch).

              Now, I don't know about your husband, but my perspective was the following: I rebelled at the concept of "giving up" these foods I loved (especially the soda) because you know what, I have so much stress and sacrifice in other parts of my life, at least let me have my damn comfort foods!!! We all aren't rich, but we can usually eat the foods that make us feel good and comfortable. And sugar and starch is comfort food.

              So what I needed was something to "trade" for what I was giving up. Yes, it would seem logical that the trade of curing diabetes and being healthy would be reason enough. But in the moment of decision of what to eat, rational logic doesn't always win. It's more about getting what I "deserve" because of all the other things in life I have to put up with (it may be different for others, but it's probably a variation on that theme).

              Fortunately, PB gives me the perfect "trade". MEAT and FAT. I said fine, if I have to give up soda, I'm going to be "even more bad". I'm going to have a ribeye. And, it's going to be the 25 ounce kind. Or, I'm having 4 lamb chops. Or, I'm eating the damn skin on the chicken. In other words, I found a substitute vice in PB that was actually not a vice at all. In fact, I had to re-program myself to accept eating skin and fat due to the CW brainwashing. So at the crucial moment of decision, I was ok not having garlic bread, rice, pasta, or soda if I could slather butter on my broccoli, get a really think and rare steak, eat as many pork ribs with the fat as I could. AND you will need to be supportive of your husband and LET HIM eat this way (my wife had an issue initially). BTW - I have also lost over 35 lbs since March and dropped from a tight 38 waist to a loose 32 in pants. Once I got the groove eating protein, fats, and vegetables, the fat started to melt off, despite eating pretty large meals (I'm not a young spring chicken either, I'm 45). I got my latest bloodwork in the middle of July and the doctor was shocked at the drastic change and the speed of the change.

              There is hope for your husband. I know it as I have walked the path he is at the beginning of right now. I don't know if what I've shared will help him, but I know it's the path that worked for me with my "illogical" and rebellious reaction to the doctor's diagnosis.

              As a footnote, I have zero temptation for soda now. The thought of it disgusts me actually. I drink water, unsweetened ice tea, regular tea, coffee with heavy whipping cream, or a great glass of red wine a few times a month.

              Hope this can help in some way.
              OptionJedi Journal

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by LJH View Post
                And I don't see this ending well.
                On one hand, I see it as sad, and hopefully that it becomes a wakeup call.

                On the other hand... slow term suicide is grounds for divorce in my mind. Gladly, my future wife sees that the same way I do. I don't envy the interesting time you're going to have.

                It may be in poor taste, but if you can find pictures of people on dialysis, or dying that look close to how his father did, I'd slip the pictures places with little notes that say things like: This could be you. Like father like son. Beware.

                Then again, I *LIKE* shock therapy.
                My Fitday public journal.
                Me vs. Russian Boar, hunt is on Aug. 20th. WHAT'S MORE PRIMAL THAN THAT?!
                Recently survived Warrior Dash, New England.
                Game Developer, ex-Chef, long time Fatbody.

                Comment


                • #9
                  It's as if he can't make the connection between diet, his health condition, and the inevitable consequences, which are serious. He might agree but there is huge cognitive dissonance, because disease is a slow process and people never seem worse than they were the day before. That and some people hate having to be prudent and denying themselves something simultaneous. But it's, like, serious. So I hope you get through to him.

                  Just a quick literature search pulls up some hard evidence. Sugar-sweetened beverages impair glucose and lipid metabolism, cause inflammation and shift the lipid profile over to a more atherogenic orientation Low to moderate sugar-sweetened beverage consumption impairs glucose and lipid metabolism and promotes inflammation in healthy young men: a randomized controlled trial Randomized, controlled trial, good quality and everything. What more does someone need to know? If you read him the abstract and he doesn't take it seriously then I have nothing.

                  I think that you should get him on a good quality magnesium supplement ASAP. How hard would it be to get him to take some magnesium every day? It would be almost guaranteed to lower his fasting glucose, magnesium deficiency is one of the major factors in insulin resistance. Magnesium Intake in Relation to Systemic Inflammation, Insulin Resistance, and the Incidence of Diabetes That will help. Vitamin d as well.

                  Good luck.
                  Stabbing conventional wisdom in its face.

                  Anyone who wants to talk nutrition should PM me!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Tell him that diabetes will kill his boner.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      If my wife were diabetic and tried to drink soda near me, we'd both be covered in soda and she'd be crying. Every time.
                      Crohn's, doing SCD

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by LJH View Post
                        But he claims he's 'different' and can't drink plain water or coffee with just cream or give up bread or not put sugar on EVERY FREAKING THING and what's the point of life if he can't enjoy his food and on & on & on.
                        yes, he's a special snowflake just like the rest of us

                        and like darth said, it probably will kill his boner. if that doesn't motivate him then he's a lost cause
                        beautiful
                        yeah you are

                        Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                        lol

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Mike Gager View Post
                          well all is not lost, yet. i was pre-diabetic and was able to turn it around using a CW low fat diet (yes seriously) even lost 50lbs in the process. however it took a big commitment on my part to get there. constant counting of calories and going hungry. if you can get him to eat paleo it is soooo much easier
                          +1 Same here. SAD/GYM/Calorie counting corrected it. Lost 20ish pounds. Primal would have been SO much easier.

                          My Doctor's visit was my wake-up call, took a few days to sink in and decide to fix it (including quitting smoking). Give him a little time for it to sink in before you go ape-shit on him

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            He's an addict. Don't expect logic. He probably thinks he'll change someday but he doesn't have to yet. My Dad was like that. It took having scary symptoms from the vascular damage before he gave up sugar and started eating low-carb/low-GI. His eyesight started to fail and he started to have ...um... issues like some of the other guys here mentioned. I daresay that put the fear of carbs in him.

                            I think ultimately it's best to get away from craving the sweet taste, but he may be better able to back off from sugar if he gets away from the buzz it gives him first. If you are leery of the chemical sweeteners, as am I, you could always do stevia. Make lemonade and iced tea with it. There are even some stevia-sweetened sodas. Then he can back down on the amount of that he's having. I know it's controversial but I wouldn't let the perfect be the enemy of the good.

                            My Dad never went totally grain-free. I, of course, think it would've been best but at least low-carbing helped him keep his blood glucose in check. He regarded stuff like bread and pasta as a treat. Not a daily food. Maybe your DH would go full on primal eventually but simply cutting back might be a less threatening place to start. If he's freaking at the idea of never having bread again, maybe he'd be ok with the idea that it was still an option. Just not one he should indulge in all the time. Dad still had these foods now and then but he skipped the bread basket when it came around. If he was going to eat grains or sugar or other carby foods, he really thought about whether it was worth it. He didn't mindlessly eat it because it was in front of him and he didn't keep it in the house where it could tempt him. If we had a family party and there was tons of desserts and such left over, he sent it home with guests. If there was too much to get rid of it all that way, I took it to work and left it in the break room. Even after all this, he knew he was a sugar addict and if it was in the house he would eat it and feel like crap. He regarded sugar as a drug. It was harder for him to quit than cigarettes.

                            Over time, he may feel inspired to tighten up his eating if he starts to feel better. I think changes like this are nearly impossible to impose from the outside. He needs to see it for himself.
                            Last edited by DaisyEater; 08-19-2011, 10:40 AM.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Barb View Post
                              I am so sorry.

                              One thing I learned in nursing school regarding helping people change came from a class called "Motivational Interviewing." Everyone has a part of themselves that wants to be healthier, everyone has a side that is attached to the habits they have that are self-destructive. If you take the role of the healthy side urging giving up the habit, the other person feels obligated to speak up for (or act out) the attachment to the habit.

                              If you take the position of acknowledging how hard it is to give up a habit and say things like "I know how much you enjoy your Pepsi, that would be really hard to give up" the other person is not put on the defensive for how much they don't want to give it up. It gives them room to consider whether they could. The more we represent the "be healthy" position, the more they take up the cause of the unhealthy habit.

                              An image we were given was that the two of you walk into a room to have this conversation and there are two chairs to sit in. "Healthy Changes" chair and "Unhealthy Habit" chair. If you sit down in the "Healthy Changes" chair, that leaves only the "Unhealthy Habit" chair for the other person to sit in because that person wants to be whole and therefore needs to include the part of them that LOVES their unhealthy habit.

                              Trust that there really is a part of him that doesn't want to become diabetic, that wants to be healthy. Validate the part that doesn't want to change so that he doesn't have to and is freed up to listen to what his healthier self might want to do.

                              It can also be helpful to ask people something along the lines of, "So honey, with this new diagnosis, what, if any, changes do you feel ready to make now?" It acknowledges that changes are called for, validates that he has the power to make them, and says that you respect his timeline.

                              Now, if you have fears and concerns as his wife for your shared future, feel free to state them. That is very different from nagging him to change.
                              Barb, this is such a brilliant post it needed quoting in full. It should be posted on every 'my parent/ partner/ sibling is driving me nuts and won't listen to reason' thread, too. Thank you.

                              Comment

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