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A thread wherein guys rant, complain, and chat about MANLY MAN THINGS

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  • Originally posted by katemary View Post
    The male perspective is fantastic.
    I admit, the male perspective on the F*buddy hunt is very different!
    Wow... re: Quelsen's post

    But then I guess my perspective as a female looking for a f*buddy wouldn't apply to guys on the hunt because that is completely skewed!
    Back when I was single and had buddies... well, lets just say that it wasn't a problem.

    My issue was that I eventually broke it off with two guys because they moved into the "wanting more" category.

    But... I NEVER presented to a guy as if I wanted to "date"... I always made it painfully clear it was a FWB situation ONLY right from the get go.

    I generally selected a guy that I sort of knew socially (this was before dating sites) that I knew I wouldn't want to really date but I had some chemistry with and who I got along with in other areas as friends/drinking/sports/motorcycles/ just general buddies. So not a dating site situation.

    As a woman I guess I come at the whole situation from a very different angle... I feel like no one should be misled in the situation. If a guy tells me upfront that he wants to "date" then after sex it's just f*buddy status that's some kinda bitch shit IMO.
    Date hols the connotation of trying to form a long term relationship.
    I think the lying part is bullshit.


    Originally posted by Tribal Rob View Post
    He's on the money though IME most of the time.

    Advice for guys - just coz she was't a f-buddy don't mean you get to be a dick, you still need to be nice and friendly IME
    As a FWB f*buddy this is important... no need to be rude. You can totally have fun! It can even be long term.
    I had a guy as a FWB for over a year once... we both dated other people to see if we could find someone we really liked...
    But at the end of the night we both had someone to go to for great reliable wonderful guaranteed sex whether we had a dud date, no date, or whatever... where the other person knows all the buttons to push and is familiar and comfortable with the kink.

    It was a great relationship for what it was while it lasted...
    I don't think two people need to be in love to enjoy each others company and have fun, including sex.
    Last edited by cori93437; 11-16-2012, 02:57 PM.
    “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
    ~Friedrich Nietzsche
    And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.

    Comment


    • Originally posted by katemary View Post
      The male perspective is fantastic.
      I'm always amazed that this comes as a revelation to women. Once a male friend of mine told me and a female friend that he had created a profile on dating site (a conventional one). My gal's response was "you'll get a ton of emails". My response would be that he'd get few, that he better do the emailing.

      Guess who was right?

      One caveat: it's sometimes different for heavy women. They can be "like dudes".

      Comment


      • While I'm here in a thread with ladies, I'd like to ask a question.

        I'm 44, single and a little confused. (I've never been this age before). I'm not sure what age ranges for dating are realistic. It's not that I overlook 40plus women for the sweet young things. It's just that there really aren't that many single women my age.

        From time-to-time, I get looks from younger women but I'm hesitant to move forward for fear of looking like an old fool or dirty old man.

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        • Go with half age plus 7
          Starting Date: Dec 18, 2010
          Starting Weight: 294 pounds
          Current Weight: 235 pounds
          Goal Weight: 195 pounds

          Comment


          • Originally posted by kenn View Post
            Go with half age plus 7
            I knew someone would bring that up. 29? Sounds good.

            But I'd really like to get a few female perspectives on when older is too old.

            Comment


            • Originally posted by Rojo View Post
              I knew someone would bring that up. 29? Sounds good.

              But I'd really like to get a few female perspectives on when older is too old.
              If look like crap, don't take care of yourself and are poor then that number won't work for you.
              Starting Date: Dec 18, 2010
              Starting Weight: 294 pounds
              Current Weight: 235 pounds
              Goal Weight: 195 pounds

              Comment


              • Originally posted by Rojo View Post
                One caveat: it's sometimes different for heavy women. They can be "like dudes".
                In what way?

                Do you think guys on an adult site will have a different attitude to women carrying extra weight? On the one hand it should be about the sex, you can be with people you normally wouldn't be attracted to or hang out with. One the other hand, its all about the sex, maybe attractiveness is more important.

                Cori - sounds like you had a LOT of fun! Why the concern if it developed into something more? Sounds like a FWB arrangement, without all the usual stress of relationship stuff, is a great basis for developing something more.

                Tribal Rob - yeah. Do you think guys on sites that like would treat ladies like whores?

                I had "uncomplicated" fun with good male friends in my 20s, where neither of us was under any illusion it would lead to more, but actually going on a site for it is really giving me lots to think about!

                Rojo - 7 years either way if you are approaching someone. Who cares if they appoach you.
                Last edited by katemary; 11-17-2012, 12:56 AM. Reason: fix name

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                • Originally posted by katemary View Post
                  In what way?

                  Do you think guys on an adult site will have a different attitude to women carrying extra weight?

                  Primal Rob - yeah. Do you think guys on sites that like would treat ladies like whores?

                  Well I was on one of these sites a few years ago, IME the weight issue dosn't seem to a problem for women in the same way it is perceived to be say in a bar. Plenty of men like BBWs (Big Beautiful Women) and possibley there is the moped analagy (why is having sex with a fat women like riding a moped? Both are lots of fun until your mates see you).

                  And yes I think some guys to treat the the ladies like whores. The site I was on had groups that were a bit like forums, I joined a one for people near me and chatted to people first - that was most sucessful for me.
                  Sometimes new guys would come on and just start hitting on the girls in the most direct and vulgar ways and they just got ignored.

                  From speaking to a lot of the girls they do get tonnes of e-mails from guys that are direct and to the point and for most of them they understood why they were there but that dosn't mean they want to see a picture of your cock with an e-mail that just says 'wanna fuck' Maybe Aussies and Yanks have slightly different expectations, but we are english and are not crude . A HI, how are you, I've read your profile, some crappy small talk, I'd love to hear from you, works much better. But even though I wasn't a being a dick I still only got 1 sucess outside of the group I was in.
                  You know all those pictures of Adam and Eve where they have belly button? Think about it..................... take as long as you need........................

                  Comment


                  • OMG that moped analogy made me laugh (but also a bit sad it is so right - no wonder I am single!)

                    I had a flick through the site. I am betting the cute buff guys get away with treating women how they want - much the same as the real world - and the whole sex site thing is a lifestyle for them (discreet or not). It sounds like it is hard work for the average guys, sex site or not! I can't imagine the vulgarity would appeal to anyone, but who knows. Yeah, just because sex is the aim doesn't mean you have to be cheap...

                    I wonder how you judge someone's intentions. I'd hate to think a guy would say they don't mind the weight thing because it has been ages since they had sex, and then just ignore you afterwards...

                    anyway thanks Tribal Rob - sounds like a fun experiment!

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by Rojo View Post
                      While I'm here in a thread with ladies, I'd like to ask a question.

                      I'm 44, single and a little confused. (I've never been this age before). I'm not sure what age ranges for dating are realistic. It's not that I overlook 40plus women for the sweet young things. It's just that there really aren't that many single women my age.

                      From time-to-time, I get looks from younger women but I'm hesitant to move forward for fear of looking like an old fool or dirty old man.

                      I wouldn't over think it. About 10 years is a good range. Past that and finding things in common gets real thin.

                      Originally posted by katemary View Post
                      Cori - sounds like you had a LOT of fun! Why the concern if it developed into something more? Sounds like a FWB arrangement, without all the usual stress of relationship stuff, is a great basis for developing something more.

                      Oh, I my share of fun. I was always the adventurous type.
                      I developed FWB relationships out of a certain need. I had an insanely high sex drive when I was young and single (I guess I always have had compared to many women *shrug*), and as a female I learned FAST that hooking-up, when I didn't have a boyfriend, was entirely unreliable for MY pleasure. I'd like to say it was hit and miss, but the truth is it was just MISS, and I'm actually super easy to please. I only ever hooked up with guys a few times. (The story with women is very different... and strange for other reasons.) So, then when I wanted to date and enjoy life "single" I still felt like needed a steady sex partner so I cultivated FWBs. To me it was a logical decision. And this was way back before FWB was even a term as far as I know...

                      Kind of a skewed way of not sleeping around with guys, but still getting laid a lot I guess.
                      I'm still not sure why I felt the need to have so much control over the number of men I slept with (other than the fact that I found ONS a complete fail sexually) and yet I hooked-up with an absolutely mad number of women and that worked every single shot, no matter the time or place.

                      The reason that I ended those FWB relationships when they got too involved is that while I liked those guys as friends, and we had good chemistry sexually, there were some very specific things about them that made them NOT on the table as a potential for a possible marriage partner. And I really actually chose them because they were off limits as permanent partners. It kept things clean for me emotionally so I wouldn't feel tempted to fall for a guy who was only only interested in sex with me from the beginning as well... kind of a safety you know. Once they wanted to 'get serious' I felt it was better to end it than lead them down the road to letting them believe that something could really come of the relationship.


                      Now, my husband maintains that in every FWB relationship there is an imbalance that accounts for the fact that I had to eventually call it off with those guys. He says that where FWB's are concerned there is ALWAYS one partner who is hoping that the other one changes their mind and wants to make it a "real" relationship.
                      I dunno. I never felt that way with any of my FWBs.
                      And I had FWB relationships where it went both ways, ones where a guy got to close/clingy and had to be discarded, and ones where everything was fine until we were just both ready to move on because we found people to actually date for real.
                      I never got all clingy and fell "in love" with one of my f*buddies... though I did get bitchy at one point with a guy who wasnt available enough. He got retired. Can't keep up... get replaced.

                      I think when approaching a FWB type relationship you have to be aware of those things though. Go in with your eyes open to the other persons character and intentions, and don't start changing the rules and expectations midstream.

                      Important FWB stuff... general likes and dislikes- you will spend time together not having sex too so have some stuff in common, chemistry!!!, frequency expectations- you really both want to be on the same page here, shared kink or kink compromise- will you trade light kink?, everybody has a little something they like don't be afraid to SAY it... the FWB relationship is about SEX get your freak on. Seriously. Don't be shy. Ask for it the way you like it. If you don't quite know what you like this is a great time to start exploring.
                      Just my opinion....
                      “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
                      ~Friedrich Nietzsche
                      And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.

                      Comment


                      • Originally posted by katemary View Post
                        In what way?
                        the way i've seen it (they were complaining) larger women are more aggressive, sexually
                        beautiful
                        yeah you are

                        Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                        lol

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by katemary View Post
                          In what way?
                          Big gals are often like dudes -- they can't take it for granted. Check out "casual encounters WFM" on Craigslist. The ads that aren't some sort of scam/spam/prostitution are usually from BBW's.

                          Not judging, just observing.

                          Comment


                          • Originally posted by katemary View Post
                            Rojo - 7 years either way if you are approaching someone. Who cares if they appoach you.
                            Thanks. But I guess I was hoping for a little more than rule of thumb. But I'm not sure what I was hoping for.

                            I guess one of the occupational hazards of being a penis owner is that you're just going to have to be a creep sometimes if you want to get some.

                            Comment


                            • Rojo,
                              If you're attracted to someone, make your approach. Be brave, be honest, try to be charming and witty. If you're awkward, try to play it off with grace, "I don't usually do this, but I was struck by your smile and had to know your name."
                              Like any marketing ploy, percentages of success are small, and you never know who you'll have chemistry with just by looking at them. Approach every girl who catches your eye.
                              Every girl is a possible match until she proves herself incompatible/unsuitable.
                              Above all, be honest, with her and yourself...

                              Comment


                              • Thanks for the heads up everyone, didn't think it could be as easy as it looked, but sure looks like a lot of fun

                                and I always treat women with respect, so that's not an issue. Will report back!!

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