Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

A thread wherein guys rant, complain, and chat about MANLY MAN THINGS

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Originally posted by Saoirse View Post
    sorry caboose, but to be straight with you, it's probably something that you're doing rather than what you look like. i wish i could explain, but i can't without seeing how you interact with ladies. either that, or you're trying for the wrong women. try working on friendships with women first for understanding.
    Caboose - It is something that you are doing but not your fault. It's classic friendzone bullshit. They knew you back before you lost weight and you were probably a friendly, decent guy. They associated you with that brotherly, decent, teddy bear type and it is stuck in their head. There is very little you can do about that besides be a straight up dick, which probably isn't the route you want to go. Forget asking out women who you have known for a while. Hell, they didn't go out with you before you lost the weight so why waste your time with them now? Don't deal in their BS. Ask out some people you don't know.

    Good luck.

    Comment


    • I agree with canio6, caboose. i think when someone is pigeon holed as a mate, that is it. The compliments must be nice, but don't expect the dynamic to change...and do you want someone who knew you yet put the weight first?

      saoirse also has a point, and it may not be something bad you are doing but your attitude. Being overweight can ruin your confidence...you don't feel like yu have a right to exude sexuality. Maybe as your body changes and your confidence builds it will show and women can be attracted to the right amount of confidence.

      don't be disheartened.

      Comment


      • Originally posted by canio6 View Post
        Caboose - It is something that you are doing but not your fault. It's classic friendzone bullshit. They knew you back before you lost weight and you were probably a friendly, decent guy. They associated you with that brotherly, decent, teddy bear type and it is stuck in their head. There is very little you can do about that besides be a straight up dick, which probably isn't the route you want to go. Forget asking out women who you have known for a while. Hell, they didn't go out with you before you lost the weight so why waste your time with them now? Don't deal in their BS. Ask out some people you don't know.

        Good luck.
        The Ups and Downs of ‘The Friend Zone’

        I don't really see why it's bullshit that a woman just wants to be friends and communicates it. sure, it sucks because he wants more, but it's not bullshit.
        Last edited by Saoirse; 07-17-2012, 10:24 AM.
        my primal journal:
        http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum...Primal-Journal

        Comment


        • Originally posted by Saoirse View Post
          The Ups and Downs of ‘The Friend Zone’

          I don't really see why it's bullshit that a woman just wants to be friends and communicates it. sure, it sucks because he wants more, but it's not bullshit.
          If you're in the friendzone and you want more and you're being a nice guy or at least you think you are, you're really being a manipulative scheming bastard. If you can't reconcile it's just a friendship then yes, the friendzone is a bs place for you to be.

          As for Caboose, you've changed physically and they see that, but then they realize you haven;t changed mentally and back away.
          Starting Date: Dec 18, 2010
          Starting Weight: 294 pounds
          Current Weight: 235 pounds
          Goal Weight: 195 pounds

          Comment


          • Can I rave about something instead of rant? I've been commuting by bike a LOT this year. I have one thing to say. I LOVE women joggers, of all shapes and sizes. Damn. Yes.
            carl's cave

            Comment


            • Originally posted by kenn View Post
              If you're in the friendzone and you want more and you're being a nice guy or at least you think you are, you're really being a manipulative scheming bastard. If you can't reconcile it's just a friendship then yes, the friendzone is a bs place for you to be.
              good point.

              it's possible one of your female friends might change her mind, but i wouldn't hedge a bet on it (especially if your female friends are all friends with each other).
              my primal journal:
              http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum...Primal-Journal

              Comment


              • Originally posted by Alex Good View Post
                I've always been partial to damsels in distress. Of course those knights continuously trying to rescue them gets a bit annoying.
                Life gets easier when you realize you are not in charge of someone else's happiness
                When you pull out, you will notice you've got more energy for yourself
                I've seen many damsels when I used to be a knight
                Trust me on this one, all your hard work won't pay off as someone else would rip what you sow
                Everything is bad for something - How do you feel today?

                Comment


                • Originally posted by canio6 View Post
                  Caboose - It is something that you are doing but not your fault. It's classic friendzone bullshit. They knew you back before you lost weight and you were probably a friendly, decent guy. They associated you with that brotherly, decent, teddy bear type and it is stuck in their head. There is very little you can do about that besides be a straight up dick, which probably isn't the route you want to go. Forget asking out women who you have known for a while. Hell, they didn't go out with you before you lost the weight so why waste your time with them now? Don't deal in their BS. Ask out some people you don't know.

                  Good luck.

                  Word!
                  Free your mind, and your Grok will follow!

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by canio6 View Post
                    Caboose - It is something that you are doing but not your fault. It's classic friendzone bullshit. They knew you back before you lost weight and you were probably a friendly, decent guy. They associated you with that brotherly, decent, teddy bear type and it is stuck in their head. There is very little you can do about that besides be a straight up dick, which probably isn't the route you want to go. Forget asking out women who you have known for a while. Hell, they didn't go out with you before you lost the weight so why waste your time with them now? Don't deal in their BS. Ask out some people you don't know.

                    Good luck.
                    Hollywood has conditioned people to think it works that way though, sad but true.
                    Starting Date: Dec 18, 2010
                    Starting Weight: 294 pounds
                    Current Weight: 235 pounds
                    Goal Weight: 195 pounds

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by Saoirse View Post
                      I don't really see why it's bullshit that a woman just wants to be friends and communicates it. sure, it sucks because he wants more, but it's not bullshit.
                      It depends on when she communicates it and if both have similar expectations. If per your article a dude is honest then 90% (or more) of conversations of a single man with single women would be, "Hi, I'm canio. Yeah, I'm talking to you because, well, your ass is tighter than your friend's and I think if I play my cards right I can probably get you drunk enough to blow me in the bathroom. By which I mean, have a meaningful relationship." Sure, dude can be more subtle "I think you are nice and blah and perhaps we could date etc" but point being most of the time dude is going to get blown off (and not in the bathroom) because unless their is some kind of mutaul chemistry/attraction or the girl is looking hard to go out, the guy is going to have to work at it a bit. Perhaps build up some rapport or common ground.

                      This is where the friendzone bullshit starts. Dude and Chick become 'friends' because he is trying to get said common ground and then boom he is her brother or 'friend' because guys apparently do not have enough friends without the chick they have known for a month thinking he needs another. And sure, friends always let their friends pay for everything, kind of like dates but not really because they are such good friends and yeah, dude really should know better but really he is just trying to not be the douche you find in every club, which pretty much makes him another chick at least in the girl's mind because she is more likely to make out with her GF than this dude.

                      Because lets be honest, I have never met a single dude who says, "I need more friends. How about some that don't like sports, get bitchy 5 days a month, and expect me to listen when they cry. All this while I am not getting laid. Yup, sign me up" Sorry, doesn't happen. So ladies, if said dude is trying to be your friend he is really trying to hook up but be nice about it. Telling him 'you do not see him that way' means he will probably start sliding towards the asshole/gaming ways of getting chicks.


                      It is nice being old and married at times. Women can make some good friends but not when single, just not seeing it.


                      (okay, it might happen occassionally that a single dude wants to make friends with a single woman but I wouldn't wager on it)

                      (I should add that as one ages this changes, but young dudes, nah, not looking for friends.)
                      Last edited by canio6; 07-17-2012, 12:10 PM.

                      Comment


                      • Originally posted by carlh View Post
                        Can I rave about something instead of rant? I've been commuting by bike a LOT this year. I have one thing to say. I LOVE women joggers, of all shapes and sizes. Damn. Yes.
                        jiggling boobs and butt?

                        yes
                        beautiful
                        yeah you are

                        Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                        lol

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by bloodorchid View Post
                          jiggling boobs and butt?

                          yes
                          Excellent...and Of COURSE!
                          “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
                          ~Friedrich Nietzsche
                          And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.

                          Comment


                          • Originally posted by canio6 View Post
                            It depends on when she communicates it and if both have similar expectations. If per your article a dude is honest then 90% (or more) of conversations of a single man with single women would be, "Hi, I'm canio. Yeah, I'm talking to you because, well, your ass is tighter than your friend's and I think if I play my cards right I can probably get you drunk enough to blow me in the bathroom. By which I mean, have a meaningful relationship." Sure, dude can be more subtle "I think you are nice and blah and perhaps we could date etc" but point being most of the time dude is going to get blown off (and not in the bathroom) because unless their is some kind of mutaul chemistry/attraction or the girl is looking hard to go out, the guy is going to have to work at it a bit. Perhaps build up some rapport or common ground.

                            This is where the friendzone bullshit starts. Dude and Chick become 'friends' because he is trying to get said common ground and then boom he is her brother or 'friend' because guys apparently do not have enough friends without the chick they have known for a month thinking he needs another. And sure, friends always let their friends pay for everything, kind of like dates but not really because they are such good friends and yeah, dude really should know better but really he is just trying to not be the douche you find in every club, which pretty much makes him another chick at least in the girl's mind because she is more likely to make out with her GF than this dude.

                            Because lets be honest, I have never met a single dude who says, "I need more friends. How about some that don't like sports, get bitchy 5 days a month, and expect me to listen when they cry. All this while I am not getting laid. Yup, sign me up" Sorry, doesn't happen. So ladies, if said dude is trying to be your friend he is really trying to hook up but be nice about it. Telling him 'you do not see him that way' means he will probably start sliding towards the asshole/gaming ways of getting chicks.


                            It is nice being old and married at times. Women can make some good friends but not when single, just not seeing it.


                            (okay, it might happen occassionally that a single dude wants to make friends with a single woman but I wouldn't wager on it)

                            (I should add that as one ages this changes, but young dudes, nah, not looking for friends.)
                            so in other words, there is no such thing as a man who wants to be friends with a woman. canio, are you just trying to get into my proverbial pants?

                            i don't think the chick in question is thinking "oh, what void can i fill in this guy's life? oh i know, i can be his friend!!" For whatever reason, he doesn't fill that "wanna bang?" void for her; so he can accept that she wants nothing more out of the relationship and move on. If he doesn't want more female friends, no one's holding a gun to his head. Grow some balls: "sorry, i don't want to be just friends." Chances are, there are women who know him and are stuck "in the friendzone" and he just doesn't realize it because he doesn't equate them with sex. it goes both ways. accept it and move on, figure out what you're doing wrong.
                            my primal journal:
                            http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum...Primal-Journal

                            Comment


                            • Originally posted by Saoirse View Post
                              so in other words, there is no such thing as a man who wants to be friends with a woman. canio, are you just trying to get into my proverbial pants?

                              i don't think the chick in question is thinking "oh, what void can i fill in this guy's life? oh i know, i can be his friend!!" For whatever reason, he doesn't fill that "wanna bang?" void for her; so he can accept that she wants nothing more out of the relationship and move on. If he doesn't want more female friends, no one's holding a gun to his head. Chances are, there are women who know him and are stuck "in the friendzone" and he just doesn't realize it because he doesn't equate them with sex. it goes both ways. accept it and move on, figure out what you're doing wrong.
                              I think his point was that if you're attracted to a woman and want more, you can't just be friends because you have an ulterior motive for your actions.
                              Starting Date: Dec 18, 2010
                              Starting Weight: 294 pounds
                              Current Weight: 235 pounds
                              Goal Weight: 195 pounds

                              Comment


                              • in which case move on?
                                beautiful
                                yeah you are

                                Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                                lol

                                Comment

                                Working...
                                X