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  • Originally posted by Saoirse View Post
    many of the comments on the blog piss me off, but that has nothing to do with my marital status.

    honestly, when my husband is commanding like that, i feel like he *expects* me to submissively follow along, which makes me feel unsexy and downright angry. that's why i say that this advice might backfire on some, because not every woman subconsciously prefers to submit.
    I just meant that the nice thing about not being hitched is that, if he is acting like a jerk, you can show him the door and move on. I find as I'm getting older, I'm getting a lower threshold for BS. I don't have to put up with crap so I don't.

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    • Originally posted by Modern Cave Women View Post
      lol marriage is over rated .. *personal opinion*
      I agree. I see the point if you are planning to have kids but otherwise, nah. And yes, I have tried it.

      Comment


      • Originally posted by Paleobird View Post
        I agree. I see the point if you are planning to have kids but otherwise, nah. And yes, I have tried it.
        ya same .. been there done that .. got the postcard and burnt the shit outta it... only souvieniers are my beautiful boys..
        "If you don't go after what you want, you'll never have it. If you don't ask, the answer is always no. If you don't step forward, you're always in the same place." Nora Roberts

        Start December 20th 2010: 177 lbs
        Currant: 136 lbs
        Goal: 125 lbs
        11 more lbs to go


        Follow My Journey :-)

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        • Married Man Sex Life
          This guy has a little better management of the Alpha/Beta characteristics. I'm never really offended by the whole male dominance thing because boys will be boys and if him beating on his chest and being a little gruff means he'll chop some wood and give me good lovin' then I can't complain. I'm also a feminists nightmare. I laugh at sexist jokes (and tell a few), I want to be the perfect housewife one day and I don't think I should have different or -more- rights in the workplace because I'm a girl. In fact, I find it kind of insulting that I would be given an opportunity just because I'm a female. I'd rather earn it. I know, I know, the glass ceiling. Trust me, I've hit it. I work in a male dominated industry. But if you can't beat 'em, join them, then be better at what you do and show them up. All that being said, I realize I'm shooting my mouth off in a man thread that I honestly promised myself I was going to stay out of, but I'm addicted to this guys blog, he makes some awesome points and I feel like all the womenz commenting on having their self esteem lowered by other "Alpha Blogs" should give it a looksee.

          Now!
          How do you get a dishwasher to blow snow?
          "It is not what you are that holds you back, it is what you think you're not."
          Denis Waitley

          Comment


          • ah, i see, that could be a perk (and being able to flirt and then act on it without hurting another person would be another perk). otoh, there have been times that i would have booted him (and i'm sure he could say the same for me) if it had been an easy thing to do. highs and lows, and all that jazz.
            my primal journal:
            http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum...Primal-Journal

            Comment


            • Originally posted by huntergirlhayden View Post
              Married Man Sex Life
              This guy has a little better management of the Alpha/Beta characteristics. I'm never really offended by the whole male dominance thing because boys will be boys and if him beating on his chest and being a little gruff means he'll chop some wood and give me good lovin' then I can't complain. I'm also a feminists nightmare. I laugh at sexist jokes (and tell a few), I want to be the perfect housewife one day and I don't think I should have different or -more- rights in the workplace because I'm a girl. In fact, I find it kind of insulting that I would be given an opportunity just because I'm a female. I'd rather earn it. I know, I know, the glass ceiling. Trust me, I've hit it. I work in a male dominated industry. But if you can't beat 'em, join them, then be better at what you do and show them up. All that being said, I realize I'm shooting my mouth off in a man thread that I honestly promised myself I was going to stay out of, but I'm addicted to this guys blog, he makes some awesome points and I feel like all the womenz commenting on having their self esteem lowered by other "Alpha Blogs" should give it a looksee.

              Now!
              How do you get a dishwasher to blow snow?
              i've actually already read that blog, and i think it's more of the same. i'm really not a "feminist" in the stereotypical view. i'm a sah mom to three kids and married to a guy who has changed diapers as often as he has washed dishes (between the 3 kids, he's probably changed 15 diapers max). i'm not bothered by sexist jokes, and i don't believe that affirmative action has much of a place in most establishments anymore. one of the reasons i home school my kids is that i believe the public schools are set up in a way that stacks the cards against boys. i just truly believe in this silly, unattainable ideal called "equality," which means that we try to set aside our preconceived notions based on race or gender to see what a person is truly capable of. that's all. i expect that my husband sees me as his equal match. who has time for useless people, ya know? anyway, i'm just saying that this sort of mentality may not work for every broad, and it may not work in the LONG TERM. it seems like kind of a shallow way to relate to your SO.
              How do you get a dishwasher to blow snow?
              how?

              *Edit*
              yeah, on second glance, that blog is a little better because it's more about balance. he's not claiming that the "manly" thing to do is to tell your wife how it's going to be, and there aren't as many denigrating comments such as this one:
              Alpha husband = oxymoron.

              Married men are nothing more than wimps in beta serfdom.

              Sure you may pass your wife’s shit tests with flying colors. You may not be a doormat. So what? That’s nothing to brag about. You’re still stuck with one (rapidly deteriorating) pussy that you cannot discard without dire consequences to yourself.

              If you were a true alpha, you would not have married in the first place. You would not have proposed, signed the contract or let her live with you under the same roof.
              i can get behind a man who chooses to be assertive and confident in his relationship. i can get behind a man who chooses to leave his SO because she treats him like a doormat. but that's not what's going on in the comments, which are completely uncorrected by the author who makes a lot of snide remarks on other comments in defense of women.
              Last edited by Saoirse; 05-08-2011, 11:17 PM.
              my primal journal:
              http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum...Primal-Journal

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              • My husband knows that if he cheats, i get to remove a body part of my choice.
                Not that i don't trust him, I know he never would. We're pretty open about sex drives and libido - hell, he watches porn in front of me and masturbates. I don't care, as sometimes i'm just tired or not in the mood. I do the same on occasion We both have fun perving on other people in public and we're all over each other most of the time...
                I'm a paleo foodie, come check out my recipes: http://strangekitty.ca/

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                • Originally posted by Nion View Post
                  My husband knows that if he cheats, i get to remove a body part of my choice.
                  Not that i don't trust him, I know he never would. We're pretty open about sex drives and libido - hell, he watches porn in front of me and masturbates. I don't care, as sometimes i'm just tired or not in the mood. I do the same on occasion We both have fun perving on other people in public and we're all over each other most of the time...
                  my husband and i check out other people. if i'm feeling self conscious, i tell him and we find something else to talk about. if i'm feeling unlovely, i tell him (instead of passive-aggressively fishing for compliments). if he wants to help me feel lovely, he does what he can. if he's not up for it, then he doesn't. i just don't see how telling guys to play head games is any better than justifying girls' head games. be confident and loving, that's sexy.
                  my primal journal:
                  http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum...Primal-Journal

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by Saoirse View Post
                    my husband and i check out other people. if i'm feeling self conscious, i tell him and we find something else to talk about. if i'm feeling unlovely, i tell him (instead of passive-aggressively fishing for compliments). if he wants to help me feel lovely, he does what he can. if he's not up for it, then he doesn't. i just don't see how telling guys to play head games is any better than justifying girls' head games. be confident and loving, that's sexy.
                    Exactly. The 'remove a body part' thing is a running joke with us, because someone asked me how i could 'trust' my husband around all the models i work with. He's not a dog in heat, jeez. For one, i'm confident enough and trust him enough that it's not on my mind. There's even a lot of models that walk around stark naked or halfway there right in front of us (as they're models, it's often easier during costume edits and they're used to it etc) and no-one cares
                    He's entirely used to it, and so am i
                    I'm a paleo foodie, come check out my recipes: http://strangekitty.ca/

                    Comment


                    • Unfortunately, most men are not self-actualized enough to respond to anything but genetic programming. THAT’S why they don’t stay single. Any man, no matter how self-actualized or how well-versed in the skills presented in this article will end up married to a woman who knows what she is doing.

                      You can TRY to wear the pants, but if you’ve married a woman who is more of a man than you are, it’s a losing proposition. You’re right….she won’t respect you. Go on and try to win that one. Make sure you are a “real man” that a woman can admire before you try on these tricks.

                      Personally, I think it is FIRST and foremost the woman’s job to make sure the relationship works. Modern relationships don’t work because the woman is self-absorbed. If the woman is smart enough to marry a better man than her and to NOT go around being his mom, the relationship will work. Men are simple, with simple genetic programming that has not changed in any essential way for millions of years. (Read up on some genetic science. I suggest “Shadows of Forgotten Ancestors” by Carl Sagn and Ann Duryan. )

                      Women have become like men and need to remember the feminine arts. Not the subservient ones, but the ones that complement a man’s strength and problem solving prediposition. These are being virtuous, patient, playful, nurturing, and many other traits that women have forgotten because they are too busy being men.

                      Men, send your women to goddesstryarts.com where they will learn to stop being your rival and learn to be a complement to you. Men haven’t changed and don’t need to be fixed. Women need to learn how to get their needs met in their romantic relationships without nagging and smothering. They need to remember the ancient ways where male and female energy balance each other. Women will NOT lose what they’ve gained through the feminists movement and men will be much happier. DON’T tell her she needs to be fixed. Be sly…let her “find” this information that will teach her how to “fix” her man and get her needs met. She’ll learn to take responsibility for her part in the relationship in a way that makes you both much happier.

                      Hot debate. What do you think?
                      Avoiding the Fate of the AMC
                      Starting Date: Dec 18, 2010
                      Starting Weight: 294 pounds
                      Current Weight: 235 pounds
                      Goal Weight: 195 pounds

                      Comment


                      • Originally posted by Saoirse View Post
                        many of the comments on the blog piss me off, but that has nothing to do with my marital status.

                        honestly, when my husband is commanding like that, i feel like he *expects* me to submissively follow along, which makes me feel unsexy and downright angry. that's why i say that this advice might backfire on some, because not every woman subconsciously prefers to submit.
                        I would say that most of the advice will backfire in the real world. "Alpha males" are generally terribly insecure so they need a woman to submit to build up their ego. The problem is that this kind of ego building doesn't really work. Everyone, men and women alike, needs to build confidence from within, through their own achievements. Beating someone down isn't an achievement, it's just abusive. (Goes for both men and women) And more often than not, the man who has a submissive wife is the same one that down the line gets "bored" with his wife because she stopped having ideas and opinions. Or he dumps her for getting old because he never saw her as more than a maid that he could fuck. Think "mail order bride".
                        Buy house, Demolish house, Build house.

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                        • Originally posted by kenn View Post
                          Are you serious?
                          Buy house, Demolish house, Build house.

                          Comment


                          • Originally posted by Saoirse View Post
                            i think the gist of it is to be assertive and confident. don't be surprised if some of that advice backfires on you. some of us women really aren't into being told what to do, even if "experts" say we are biologically predisposed to want direction and commands. but then again, some of us women aren't into head games and don't want to be in a relationship with people who play around like that. another way to look at it is to decide what YOU are going to do (whether that's where you're eating, how you're spending your afternoon, or what mood you want to have), and ask her if she'd like to join you. honestly, self-help books have been recommending this for decades. you can only control yourself, and followers will follow if you lead confidently.

                            for example, BS like this: "Women want men to rule them, protect them, guide them, tell them what to doÖ itís just the natural order." Pfft... right... men like to think this (and maybe it works for some women), but that attitude would not get my husband anywhere with me. at the same time, the author talks about groups of women trash-talkinging their husbands, and i agree with his advice there. if my husband was in a group of men trash-talking their wives, I would never stand for it. why on earth is it okay for women to do this to their husbands? i've actually stood up against my friends before because they were verbally denigrating their husbands.
                            Exactly. My marriage is an equal partnership. I don't want to be told what to do any more than my husband does. I don't believe in man-bashing, either.

                            I think it's hilarious that men are blaming Oprah for this. I have never once seen a man-bashing episode of Oprah, and I've been watching for a lot of years. In fact, not long ago she had an episode dedicated to men who had been sexually abused as children. That's the anti-man-bashing.
                            ~Sandy

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                            • Originally posted by Blackcatbone View Post
                              I would say that most of the advice will backfire in the real world. "Alpha males" are generally terribly insecure so they need a woman to submit to build up their ego.
                              You don't know what you're talking about. You are confusing angry and frustrated "betas" or "gammas" with alphas. You are mistakenly equating alpha male behavior with misogyny because confident, independent men who don't "need" women are as threatening to you as abusive men.
                              You lousy kids! Get off my savannah!

                              Comment


                              • Originally posted by Rosegin View Post
                                In fact, not long ago she had an episode dedicated to men who had been sexually abused as children. That's the anti-man-bashing.
                                Then she had an episode dedicated to men with severely damaged masculinity. When was the last time she had an episode that praised, for example, an entrepreneurial single man who follows his dreams and dedicates his life to improving his skills?
                                You lousy kids! Get off my savannah!

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