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Has primal isolated you? Dealing with social occasions...

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  • Has primal isolated you? Dealing with social occasions...

    I am enjoying primal since new year. I have notice big improvements in mood and general wellbeing. Sure I have had a few derailments on the gluten/sugar train BUT enough to now realise it just isn't worth it. So the closer I stick to this way of the eating the better.

    Anyway, a really close friend was visiting and was upset I knocked back an invite to a cocktail party etc and that perhaps I was being too restrictive. All things in moderation. Sigh!

    I think I tried to explain my point of view, I am trying to get as fit and healthy as possible and yes, I would like to lose weight so that takes focus - well for me at least! Last year I know some other friends were commenting how I should just have dessert etc, when I was losing weight doing a low carb CW approach. Look I just don't want dessert.

    Ahh, sorry to vent/ramble, I think the lesson I have learned is to keep my mouth shut about what the hell I am doing. Its too much for some people. I don't regret sticking to my guns when I am eating out, I want to achieve my goals and feel fabulous - sorry no gluten-tastic sugar cake for me. Gawd its the sugar that kills me.

    Perhaps in the past I have been too up and down about things but I was still locked into CW back them, I am glad primal is making me balanced. Long may it continue... I will try not to be a dick in social occasions but do I really need to "break bread" to show I care?!

  • #2
    I would have gone and just eaten the shrimp, LOL. A cocktail party's just not a good party without shrimp.

    then again, i don't drink. So I guess having something of interest at a cocktail party makes it bearable.

    Next time tell them you quit drinking. Tell them it just doesn't "do" it for ya.
    --Trish (Bork)


    • #3
      I have never turned down a social occasion because of primal. Almost every social gathering will have SOME sort of food that is mostly primal (i.e. maybe they cooked it in the wrong oil but the shrimp is still primal) . It's a good use of the 80% IMO

      OTOH if you are in a zone and want to eat NOTHING you dont prepare yourself, eat before you go, grab a clubsoda with lime and be SOCIAL. Who says you have to eat to go to a party? But dont SAY anything about why you arent eating that relates to your diet. That is full stop tempting them to try to get you to eat. Defending the diet is futile - others see it as attacking them. Learn these phrases:

      "Oh, I'm just not hungry right now."
      "I'll grab something in a little bit but right now I want to hear about your date!*" (or other about them event - people like to talk about themselves")
      "I just had something a little bit ago"

      If someone who I know is pushy hands me a piece of cake or something I say thank you and take it and continue my conversation. At some opportunity I put the plate down and just never pick it back up.
      MTA: because it is rare I dont have more to say

      "When I got too tired to run anymore I just pretended I wasnt tired and kept running anyway" - my daughter Age 7


      • #4
        I don't drink either and I'm fairly strict about not eating crap foods...but on the rare social occasions I do attend I say "screw it" and eat whatever the heck I want. Life is too short to not enjoy it...


        • #5
          Cocktail parties have shrimp??? Damn, I may have to re-think some stuff.

          irenesom, it's probably easier for someone like me with virtually no social life , but I have had two such occasions since starting in early February.

          At a recent quilt guild meeting we were celebrating a member's 94th birthday (!!! And she's still sewing like there's no tomorrow!) and I simply said "No, thank you." to the cake and ice cream. No one seemed to notice.

          A few weeks before that, at our favorite restaurant with some friends, I declined dessert and had ice water instead of a beer. That would also have gone unnoticed except that my husband had to throw in a snide remark about my new uber-restricted diet being like trying to live with a vegan. (We really do need a 'Bitch-Slap' smiley.)

          I say good on ya for sticking to your guns. it's your body, your health, your future.


          • #6
            I have an incredibly busy social calendar, and I've never skipped an event because of being primal. I eat what I feel comfortable eating (being celiac helps since people usually accept it when I decide to avoid something), and I have one drink or just skip alcohol and say that I'm driving or that I don't have much of a head for it. Nobody should be pushing booze on someone who doesn't want it anyhow.

            If your choice of a primal lifestyle starts interfering in your relationships and social life to a major degree, it might be time to stop and take a look at how you're trying to do this. It's supposed to be sustainable for life, and I certainly wouldn't want to spend forever missing out on all the parties. Just think a bit about how to gracefully negotiate when you want to say no to something--it gets easier with time--and go have fun. We're social animals, and we need time with our "tribe" to be well.
            “If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive.” --Audre Lorde

            Owly's Journal


            • #7
              Primal has certainly never kept me from a party. I just pass on whatever I don't want to eat. No one really notices. Sometimes picking a restaurant when going out is a bit of a hassle. There are just some places where I have no options. So far, I don't think anyone minds. Most of my socializing is done at my house with my husband and I cooking, though. That makes things really simple.


              • #8
                I just came from a birthday party. They had a few food options, and I was able to get a couple of ribs, some veggies from a stirfry and a few apple slices. It was smaller than my normal dinner, but it filled the gap, and was probably not 100% primal, but pretty close, I'd imagine.

                No one mentioned anything about what I ate or didn't - I was offered a couple of sweets, but just said "no thank you"

                A joyful heart is good medicine

                He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose. - Jim Elliot

                Mmmmm. Real food is good.

                My Journal:


                • #9
                  My biggest social challenge is that many of our friends are raw/vegan/vegetarian! I usually bring guac & raw veggies to potlucks and IF when I am going to a party where there is nothing Primal to eat.

                  Dinners with above friends can be, errrrr....interesting! Fortunately, many of them are gluten-free, so I just make that clear if they invite us to dinner--and use my 20%!
                  Ancestral Nutrition Coaching
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                  Primal Pregnancy Nutrition Article


                  • #10
                    It's safe to say I can be quite a food nazi. However I've never turned down a social invite because of that. I probably won't partake in the eats at some of these events, but you can be social without eating/drinking. I remember one birthday party where the only food available was pizza, cupcakes, doritos and cookies. "Oh no thank you. I had a really big breakfast. I'd like a bottle of water though." And if worse comes to worse I pull out the "No thanks. I don't eat grains/sugar." Usually the reply is "Oh, ok." As long as you're smiling and having a good time, people don't seem to mind you not eating or drinking crap.

                    Usually though, there is SOMETHING you can nibble or sip that's Primally acceptable.


                    • #11
                      No I'm a misanthrope. I never go out anyway.


                      • #12
                        Try saying your gluten-intolerant (well, I guess we actually don't tolerate gluten, but maybe for slightly different reasons).

                        Although, I'm a bit of in the same dilemma... we having my little nephew's birthday party, and there will be a birthday menu. I'm gonna have to pass on pretty much everything - me family lives off bread! :-/
                        Same thing in a week... I wonder how it'll go


                        • #13
                          I'm 100% Primal when alone - I save all my "cheats" for social occasions. Since I don't have an acute need for a special diet - i.e. I'm not ill and I don't need to lose weight - I figure a bit of non-Primal food won't hurt me every now and then. And this way no one ever needs to know that I limit my food intake in any way, or that I'm in any way a health nut. My health-nuttery is my own business, not theirs.


                          • #14
                            When I go out socially, which is rare, I try to stay primal but not fanatic about it. I will drink my beers and get some finger food. Since my social excursions are about once per month, if that, I don't consider it a big deal.
                            AKA: Texas Grok

                            Originally posted by texas.grok
                            Facebook is to intelligence what a black hole is to light


                            • #15
                              I was at a time last night and was able to stay primal at the buffet w/o a problem and it was pretty typical of what folks put out. Meatballs, sausage & peppers and I loaded up on the broccoli that folks pushed aside from the ziti dish.

                              I also had an unprimal cannoli and 2 scotch on the rocks.
                              Wheat is the new tobacco. Spread the word.