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Always tired, always cold, always ....

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  • Always tired, always cold, always ....

    My husband -

    Always tired: yesterday he got up at 8:00, did a few things around the house and went back to bed after lunch & slept until 4:00. Had dinner, watched a movie and to bed at 8:00.

    Always cold: it's nice and warm in the house today but he's napping on the couch all bundled up in blankets. When we go somewhere in the car I'll be uncomfortably hot in a T-shirt, he'll be in a parka (NOT exagerating, a flippin' PARKA) and be complaining his feet are cold.

    Headaches: at least four days out of seven he either goes to bed with a headache or wakes up an hour later with one. I buy aspirin in the jumbo packs from Costco.

    Stomach aches: several times a week. I buy Alka Seltzer in the industrial sizes too.

    Bowel issues: often caught short & has to dash for the loo. Frequent cramps & diarrhea.

    Joint pain: hands, knees, hips. See above note about aspirin.

    ED: often the little blue pills don't even work.

    Always out of breath: you can hear him coming from across the house, he sounds like an old steam locomotive.

    And yeah, he's a sugar and carb addict, loves processed anything, about 25 lbs.overweight and flatly refuses to try Primal. I think he may be pre-diabetic (in his family on both sides) and possibly have heart problems (in his family on both sides).

    I'm 100% convinced he's clinically depressed but it still gets awfully damned old listening to him constantly whine and complain about how bad he feels, how he has no interests and "nothing to look forward to". He won't go to the doctor either so I guess I'm just venting and doing a little whining myself, sorry.

  • #2
    Every time he complains, slap him across the face and very calmly say, "I've told you how to fix this."

    Every time. And let him buy his own damn painkillers.
    You lousy kids! Get off my savannah!


    • #3
      There's no need to apologise for anything - he may be physically tortured, but he has to fix up his attitude.


      • #4
        Sounds like gluten intolerance among other things...

        And let him buy his own damn painkillers.
        Second that. Don't enable him. Don't buy him non-Primal food, either.

        And above all, don't listen to his complaints. Once he no longer has an audience, he'll make a shift.
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        • #5
          Maybe he's secretly a vegan. Have you tried giving him steak?


          • #6
            The stomach issues could also be made worse by lots of aspirin. It can really screw around with things if you take lots of it. My husband has really bad chronic pain right now in his knee. He knew he was going to have to get something done about eventually but of course left it until it got to the unbearable stage. Meanwhile it's been lots of painkillers and I don't think it's a coincidence that he has stomach issues too.

            I feel for you on the whole not wanting to go to the doctor thing. Mine's like that too. Drives me nuts sometimes. Besides the knee thing the worst was when he was sick with a chest infection. I kept saying you need to go. Then YOU REALLY need to go. Finally he went and it ended up he had pneumonia so bad that the doctor wanted to keep him in the hospital over night. Of course he refused that. GAH!


            • #7
              Diabetes is a possibility. I have this niggling feeling it might also be heart related; something is certainly interfering with his circulation to be that cold (bad blood flow could create depression symptoms). Sounds like he ought to get to a doctor muy pronto.
              This time, like all times, is a very good one, if we but know what to do with it. Ralph Waldo Emerson

              Any given day you are surrounded by 10,000 idiots.
              Lao Tsu, founder of Taoism


              • #8
                Sounds like hashimoto's. Any thyroid issues?


                • #9
                  He shouldn't breed.
                  In all of the universe there is only one person with your exact charateristics. Just like there is only one person with everybody else's characteristics. Effectively, your uniqueness makes you pretty average.


                  • #10
                    The cold and tired and achy could definitely be thyroid. All that and the diarrhea could be celiac. If he doesn't intend to go primal, I would at least suggest a complete physical for him, with him outlining his issues to the doctor.

                    A joyful heart is good medicine

                    He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose. - Jim Elliot

                    Mmmmm. Real food is good.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Grumpy Caveman View Post
                      "I've told you how to fix this." Every time. And let him buy his own damn painkillers.
                      No slapping, but I've said those exact words more than once but have given up and now simply don't respond to the snivelling so he just goes off & pouts & feels sorry for himself. I have zero patience with that routine.

                      I actually share his abject distrust of the medical profession when it comes to advice and treatment, but I do wish he'd get some bloodwork done. But he won't go. Some of the symptoms are consistent with Hashimoto's, but while he could stand to loose 25 or 30 lbs., he's not gaining more weight and no hair loss or panic attacks.

                      Digby, I also suspect it's heart related, just a gut feeling. I almost wish he'd have a heart attack bad enough to scare some reason into him. The tricky part is, one's first heart attack is too often the last.

                      I suppose you could call it enabling but I'm tired of fighting about it. I cook what he wants, much of which would be Primal if he didn't cover it with gravy, mayo or sugar. The big roadblock is that he doesn't want to be healthly bad enough to give up sweets and breads.

                      Uncle; I give up. I can only change my own deal, not his. Thanks for letting me vent. I appreciate the replies, even the smartass ones.


                      • #12
                        New rule: he cannot complain to you or even bitch in your general direction about how he feels unless he is willing to work together with you toward a solution.

                        Some really tough love might be in order. I'm not sure I would buy someone in this condition unhealthy food or even lift a finger to cook it. It sounds like you are making healthy meals that he corrupts with crap? My FIL used to complain bitterly about how overweight MIL was all the while buying her gallon after gallon of ice cream which she would eat a 1/2 gallon at a time. When I asked him why he bought it, he said she'd complain too much if he didn't. FIL is a classic enabler but it sounds like you are trying not to do that.

                        My first thought after reading your description was thyroid but it also sounds like autoimmune. His body probably has a very low tolerance for the crap he eats. Some of us just can't handle the processed franken foods. Here's hoping he will come around. I feel for you. I know that is so difficult.
                        True healthcare reform starts in your kitchen, not in Washington. ~Anonymous
                        The worst carrot is better than the best candybar.--TornadoGirl


                        • #13
                          If I eat anything with a lot of food additives, especially MSG, I get stomach issues like you wouldn't believe. I also will get a headache after eating. More times than not, that headache turns into a migraine and I'm out of commission for 2 days. MSG, natural flavorings, spices, etc hide all kinds of nasties that make my insides and head hurt beyond all belief.

                          The constant cold and tired thing does sound like thyroid as my aunt and Mom have this same problem. My aunt refuses to see a Dr about it too. She has an unhealthy phobia of them. I totally get your frustration with the fighting it brings but we refuse to engage in conversation when she complains because she will not take anyone's advice either. We are done. She is a grown woman and if she wants to suffer this way, so be it.

                          We can't make her take responsibility for her own health. That is a hard realization to come to.
                          Last edited by angieonthegogo; 04-10-2011, 07:56 PM.


                          • #14
                            Smartassness aside, it does look like a pretty bad depression. Was he under a lot of stress before it started? Since when is he like this?

                            It must be pretty hard for you to live with him every day, have you told him how you feel?


                            • #15
                              How long has it been going on? I think he should see a Dr., this doesn't sound good.