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I just want to date people who understand this lifestyle...

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  • I just want to date people who understand this lifestyle...

    This is somewhat of a rant...mainly because I don't foresee a possible solution. So, I started eating Primally/Paleo starting January 1, 2011. I feel that I have been doing an ok job, but I have TONS of room for improvement such as: not cheating with sugar, eating more "grass-fed" beef, and exercising more Primally. Overall, I'M HOOKED though. I love this diet and it has helped me in sooo many ways. I was sick for so long that I didn't realize how bad I felt. I feel like a million bucks now and I am starting to put myself out there...by dating. Ugh....

    I met someone in January and we dated for a bit but I was less than excited about his eating habits and we ultimately broke it off. I could not woo him into the Primal ways and to prevent a lifetime of struggle I broke it off (there were other reasons too, but this was a big reason for not dating this particular person). Now, I meet people and I feel like I can't seem to explain the nutritional benefits and WHY I don't want to order pizza in ways that don't make me seem like a total nutcase! I am looking for people who understand and support my lifestyle and someone who won't challenge me with CW wisdom...I call BS on it everytime and it makes me just seem like a 'know-it-all'...

    Tonight I had a conversation with a guy that I was interested in and he has recently lost 50lbs through a low-fat diet. I feel for him. I think he's potentially a really great guy but the more I talked about my lifestyle the more his eyes seemed to glaze over like a jelly donut...At one point he actually said "I know what works for me and I can't eat red meat because it makes me want to eat poorly." I nearly died. I love red meat and now that I eat primally I don't know that I can deal with someone who feels they will get fat by eating it! HE'S SOOO MISSING OUT! AHH!

    I just wish I could find other people that understand me, understand Primal nutrition and WHY I eat the way I do. It would make my life soooo much easier! Are there any other people out there that understand my frustration or am I just expecting too much? I am so passionate about the Primal lifestyle that I don't want someone who can't or won't attempt to understand it.
    Cheers to LIFE!--Bree

    www.sassyprimal.com

  • #2
    If the guy's lost 50lbs then he must be doing something right. Many here would sell their firstborn to do just that.
    Nothing wrong with 'enlightening' people, but you have to let them come round in their own time. When you keep banning on the paleo drum you sound like a religious zealot.

    You know?

    Religious dude: Brother, you'll be so much happier if you let (insert deity) into your heart!

    Dude: I'm already happy.

    Religious dude: No, no you don't know real happiness , please let me come in and talk to you, it will only take a minute!

    Dude: Erm..I gotta go, I've like got something in the oven.

    Religious dude: Please just give me a chance to explain, you don't know what you're missing!

    Dude: I gotta go man..

    Religious dude: Bu..bu..

    Dude: slam!

    *sound of pamphlets being pushed through mail slot*..

    Comment


    • #3
      Just post up your age, sex, and location along with a pic. I'm sure a primal leg humper in your area will pm you lol.
      "Live Free or Die"

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Bostonbully View Post
        Just post up your age, sex, and location along with a pic. I'm sure a primal leg humper in your area will pm you lol.
        Is that not the primalest you could be?

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        • #5
          Get yourself listed in (free) PlentyOfFish.Com and you will find plenty of men.

          Grizz

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          • #6
            Hmm. How are you going about all this? Looking for a mate in all the wrong places?

            Everytime I hit up a popular hiking or kayaking spot, I pass several Vibram-clad, beefy young men. The other day I spotted a guy at the playground doing chin-ups. Sauntered over and asked him how many he can do (got an unrealistic answer), talked about crossfit for a few minutes, and went about my day. Last season I had a weekly flirt session with some stud at a farmers market. There are options! Look for precursors and an open mind. Be bold.

            Lastly, I agree with Dave about the religious devotion to Primal. You're expecting to find someone with a very open mind and have them not only accept your way of life, but adhere to it. Your expectations are extreme and you're not giving them the same treatment in return. Lead by example, and never forget where you started.
            simplyprimal.blogspot.com

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            • #7
              I'm not really sure about searching for exact compatibility in a partner - doesn't that go a little bit too far? My girlfriend isn't exactly the same as me and we disagree on plenty of things but we care about each other.

              It sounds like you want a "project" rather than a date. Not a good place to start.
              Sandbag Training For MMA & Combat Sports
              Sandbag Training Guide on Kindle
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              www.facebook.com/sandbagfitness
              http://fitedia.com/ - Health and Fitness eBooks, video, audio and workshops

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              • #8
                Originally posted by BreeKN View Post
                At one point he actually said "I know what works for me and I can't eat red meat because it makes me want to eat poorly." I nearly died.
                How is this different from being convinced that "primal" is the way to go? The argument is exactly the same, you are just viewing it from opposite sides.

                To him, your point of view may seem just as "wrong". If you're not convinced by someone who have had success with a low-fat diet, why would they be convinced by your high-fat diet?

                If the current diet works for him I don't think he has any reason to change it, for now. Maybe down the road he will change his opinion, but you can't really change other people, you can only change yourself. This is true for any opinion or conviction, and it just happens to be diet for you at the moment.

                What happens if you meet a guy who is primal but who has a completely different view on some other area of life that is important to you? Will you give up on him too, or try to change his view on it, or accept him as he is?

                I think it comes down to making up your mind about which areas are so important to you that you need a partner who shares the same view and which aren't, but are you sure a primal lifestyle is one of them?

                For example, I wouldn't care if my girlfriend had a different view on diet and nutrition than me, but I don't think I could date a racist or a religious fundamentalist.
                Norak's Primal Journal:
                2010-07-23: ~255lbs, ~40.0"
                2011-11-03: ~230lbs, ~35.5"
                2011-12-07: ~220lbs, ~34.0"

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by norak View Post
                  How is this different from being convinced that "primal" is the way to go? The argument is exactly the same, you are just viewing it from opposite sides.

                  To him, your point of view may seem just as "wrong". If you're not convinced by someone who have had success with a low-fat diet, why would they be convinced by your high-fat diet?

                  If the current diet works for him I don't think he has any reason to change it, for now. Maybe down the road he will change his opinion, but you can't really change other people, you can only change yourself. This is true for any opinion or conviction, and it just happens to be diet for you at the moment.

                  What happens if you meet a guy who is primal but who has a completely different view on some other area of life that is important to you? Will you give up on him too, or try to change his view on it, or accept him as he is?

                  I think it comes down to making up your mind about which areas are so important to you that you need a partner who shares the same view and which aren't, but are you sure a primal lifestyle is one of them?

                  For example, I wouldn't care if my girlfriend had a different view on diet and nutrition than me, but I don't think I could date a racist or a religious fundamentalist.
                  Ditto. My husband and I are about as different as we can be...he is a smoker, doesn't exercise outside of physical work, eats what he wants and, in my mind, is on the fast track to a myriad of problems. He already has a few and when I offer suggestions for help, they are just that- suggestions. Ultimately, he is his own man and he is responsible for his own life. I love him dearly and hope I have him around a long, long time. I can accept him for the choices he makes...because at the end of the day, he is a wonderful man and a tremendous father. And those are the things that matter most.
                  I cook a primal dinner and then just throw a couple of potatoes in the pan for him. If he eats pizza, I order out a salad with meats and add some other goodies to it
                  Ends up not being a big deal. I don't preach my lifestyle to him and he doesn't to me.I try to lead by example for my kids and some of it does rub off on him.

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by bostonbully View Post
                    just post up your age, sex, and location along with a pic. I'm sure a primal leg humper in your area will pm you lol.
                    +1 lol

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Do you have a CrossFit nearby? I agree with Prime. Get out there where the primal people are.

                      I'm also married to a non-primal guy and we're fine. He's put up with a lot of different dietary regimens over the years. He's actually closer to primal than most Americans. He does like his carbs and sweets but mostly eats meat and veg. He sees the wisdom in this way of eating far more than any of the other things I've done but he's not quite ready to jump on this path himself. I used to eat mostly vegan (occasional egg, dairy and even fish but the vast majority of my meals had no animal products at all). I did start eating meat again but was all CW low fat, whole grain. So he put up with us having mostly chicken and only having red meat once or twice a week. He put up with me trying to do a meatless dinner at least once a week. (The man is obviously a saint.) He put up with my year of gluten-free trying to heal my thyroid. He's still getting his carb fix at lunch and he's still eating sweets, but he doesn't complain about steak and salad. I think he's actually starting to cut down on the non-primal stuff as he sees how good I feel. I'm not trying to convert him, though. He's a grown man.

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                      • #12
                        Is Rivvin still unattached?
                        Liz.

                        Zone diet on and off for several years....worked, but too much focus on exact meal composition
                        Primal since July 2010...skinniest I've ever been and the least stressed about food

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by lizch View Post
                          Is Rivvin still unattached?
                          And he's HOT!
                          Georgette

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                          • #14
                            Thanks for your ideas...I think. I'm not a crazy person who is looking for someone to be JUST like me and I don't want a project. I guess there are just certain things I'm 'hoping' for in a mate. I ultimately want a good person with some flexibility in thier thinking. I understand leading by example and not pressuring anyone into something they are uncomfortable doing. I think it will all fall together in good time.

                            By the way, some of your comments haven't been so nice. I wasn't asking to be ridiculed....I'll think twice before ever posting on here again.
                            Cheers to LIFE!--Bree

                            www.sassyprimal.com

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I think that finding an exact match for my eating habits would be nigh impossible and would keep me single forever if I tried to wait that out. My last girlfriend did a good job of tolerating my culinary eccentricities without fully adopting my ways. I think that as long as the person I'm with supports that I do what I want and that there is some overlap in diet then we'll get along file.

                              On the subject of plentyoffish, I've met a few of my girlfriends on there and other sites and I would say that they are hit and miss a lot of the time. The pond could use a restocking once in a while.
                              http://www.facebook.com/daemonized

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