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  • *bear-crush with shoulder reinforced with tissues*
    http://cattaillady.com/ My blog exploring the beginning stages of learning how to homestead. With the occasional rant.

    Originally Posted by TheFastCat: Less is more more or less

    And now I have an Etsy store: CattailsandCalendula

    Comment


    • *hugs nameless*

      well...
      i have a childcare swapping arrangement with a friend: she watches my kids for a few hours every week, i watch her kid for a few hours every week. I feel pretty lucky in this for a few reasons, one because she's a nice person whom my kids like (even my toddler, who waves happily at me as i leave him there), and also because she's okay with swapping my three kids for her one. So understand, i feel grateful for the arrangement (it allows me to attend classes without putting my kids in a daycare setting during the summer).

      Yesterday was her day to watch my kids and she asked me to pack them lunches. Well, i packed one juice box for every one of my kids (so three juice boxes). Her 5 year old apparently protested loudly at the fact that i didn't pack one for him, and so she wouldn't let my kids have their juice boxes (these are a very rare treat in our house). she calmly explained to me when i picked them up, how her son felt really excluded because all the other kids had juice boxes.

      I guess i understand that it's tough to be the odd man out, but my kids have to deal with that pretty frequently, even on their own without their siblings sharing their exclusion. my firstborn had to deal with it really frequently from toddlerhood until his sister was old enough to share the exclusion (so at least until he was 3-4) and he has to deal with it at school every day when i pack him primal-friendly foods and "only" one treat while all his friends are eating junk food and "3 or 4" treats. so i guess i assumed "other people have stuff and we don't always get it too" was a pretty universal thing. but here i am feeling sort of guilty that i didn't pack one for him. i know, really petty.
      my primal journal:
      http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum...Primal-Journal

      Comment


      • Originally posted by namelesswonder View Post
        Waahh no, I will cry. I'm a super sensitive flower today.
        oh crap. well cry it all out, and know there are people out there that care and maybe after a good cry, you can think about it differently. I dont mean to diminish your pain....cry. I feel like I know you from just being here for ages even if we havent directly interacted, maybe just ... no it feels like empty platitudes. cry it out, and I hope you feel better soon. hugs.

        Comment


        • saoirse..that it tough because your position was reasonable. Was there any expectation of universal catering?

          Mommy politics sounds like a whole new raw ballgame, esp when you need convenient arrangements to function. How did you respond?

          Comment


          • Originally posted by Saoirse View Post
            *hugs nameless*

            well...
            i have a childcare swapping arrangement with a friend: she watches my kids for a few hours every week, i watch her kid for a few hours every week. I feel pretty lucky in this for a few reasons, one because she's a nice person whom my kids like (even my toddler, who waves happily at me as i leave him there), and also because she's okay with swapping my three kids for her one. So understand, i feel grateful for the arrangement (it allows me to attend classes without putting my kids in a daycare setting during the summer).

            Yesterday was her day to watch my kids and she asked me to pack them lunches. Well, i packed one juice box for every one of my kids (so three juice boxes). Her 5 year old apparently protested loudly at the fact that i didn't pack one for him, and so she wouldn't let my kids have their juice boxes (these are a very rare treat in our house). she calmly explained to me when i picked them up, how her son felt really excluded because all the other kids had juice boxes.

            I guess i understand that it's tough to be the odd man out, but my kids have to deal with that pretty frequently, even on their own without their siblings sharing their exclusion. my firstborn had to deal with it really frequently from toddlerhood until his sister was old enough to share the exclusion (so at least until he was 3-4) and he has to deal with it at school every day when i pack him primal-friendly foods and "only" one treat while all his friends are eating junk food and "3 or 4" treats. so i guess i assumed "other people have stuff and we don't always get it too" was a pretty universal thing. but here i am feeling sort of guilty that i didn't pack one for him. i know, really petty.
            You're right, you're super pet . . .

            Wait, hang on. What is wrong with that woman? She probably has no idea that she's creating the kind of person that makes those of us that had siblings cringe when someone says they're an only child. What a precious little snowflake he must be. Yeesh. While it's not your job to make him deal with the fact that sometimes he has to do "without" it's also very much not your responsibility to give him a blinkin' juice box, either. Just sayin'.
            http://cattaillady.com/ My blog exploring the beginning stages of learning how to homestead. With the occasional rant.

            Originally Posted by TheFastCat: Less is more more or less

            And now I have an Etsy store: CattailsandCalendula

            Comment


            • + 1

              they cant project on anyone else about kid feeling isolated if they choose to have....one

              Comment


              • Gripe:

                No one wants to try my Primal creations in the kitchen! Damn it all, they taste good, different yes, but good!

                *sigh* Being the only Primal person in a house with 4 SAD eaters (my three siblings and my father) and 1 Weight Watchers person (my mother) isn't the easiest arrangement. Yet, I've made it work...I want to include them in my WOE but they're all pretty much resistant to it (minus my mother who is slowly coming around after years of WW).

                If it wasn't for Primal, I wouldn't be in the kitchen-I couldn't cook any of the usual SAD stuff in the kitchen, I always messed it up. Now, I can actually do a few things but no one tries them. It's rather infuriating!

                I now understand why my mother got pissed when she made stuff and I wouldn't try it.
                Went Primal July 25th, 2011.

                Current Age: 25

                Total Loss: 126 lbs

                Starting Stats: Weighed 266 lbs, Body Fat 37.6% (100 lbs), BMI 40.9

                Current Stats: Weight 140 lbs, Body Fat 15.2% (21.1 lbs), BMI 21.2

                Current Goals: Get a stronger core through Pilates and continue being as Primal as I can be.

                My Weight Loss Notes Now on a blog page. It starts with "My Weight Loss: Introduction." Available to the public, share with friends if you'd like!

                Comment


                • Saoirse, I don't think it's petty at all. What drssgchic said, it's unreasonable for other mom to expect you to accommodate. Okay for the kid to feel left out, but she could have broached the topic differently. Don't feel guilty!

                  I will get my crying out later, probably, but for now I'm stuck at work.
                  Depression Lies

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by trekfan View Post
                    Gripe:

                    No one wants to try my Primal creations in the kitchen! Damn it all, they taste good, different yes, but good!

                    *sigh* Being the only Primal person in a house with 4 SAD eaters (my three siblings and my father) and 1 Weight Watchers person (my mother) isn't the easiest arrangement. Yet, I've made it work...I want to include them in my WOE but they're all pretty much resistant to it (minus my mother who is slowly coming around after years of WW).

                    If it wasn't for Primal, I wouldn't be in the kitchen-I couldn't cook any of the usual SAD stuff in the kitchen, I always messed it up. Now, I can actually do a few things but no one tries them. It's rather infuriating!

                    I now understand why my mother got pissed when she made stuff and I wouldn't try it.
                    lol, i had the same experience when i was expected to bring food to class (class rule, my cell phone went off), and i made chocolate mousse, and only 2-3 people tried it! WTF?? i even covered it in whipped cream and dusted cocoa powder on top so it would look pretty.

                    Originally posted by katemary View Post
                    saoirse..that it tough because your position was reasonable. Was there any expectation of universal catering?

                    Mommy politics sounds like a whole new raw ballgame, esp when you need convenient arrangements to function. How did you respond?
                    yeahh...mommy politics. at the time i was a little taken back and tried to explain that i didn't realize that i was supposed to include him. i guess she was expecting more of a potluck-style where we both contribute food and the kids all eat what they want. usually the agreement is that i provide food for mine and hers when it's my turn to watch her kid, and she provides food for mine and hers when she's watching the kids. but because they were going out somewhere and i was instructed to provide food for mine to bring (even though it was her watch), it didn't occur to me that we were doing some sort of potluck-spread.

                    Originally posted by drssgchic View Post
                    You're right, you're super pet . . .

                    Wait, hang on. What is wrong with that woman? She probably has no idea that she's creating the kind of person that makes those of us that had siblings cringe when someone says they're an only child. What a precious little snowflake he must be. Yeesh. While it's not your job to make him deal with the fact that sometimes he has to do "without" it's also very much not your responsibility to give him a blinkin' juice box, either. Just sayin'.
                    don't want to be mean or anything. i think we have different ways of looking at the world. lol, i hate to bring it back to politics, but...
                    Originally posted by katemary View Post
                    + 1

                    they cant project on anyone else about kid feeling isolated if they choose to have....one
                    interesting point, i hadn't thought about that. we have to deal with a lot of "we can't have..." and "we won't go to..." because i have three kids to pay for and monitor. they miss out on so much because i have to care for three and moreso because one of them is a toddler (going to museums, waterparks, getting cool stuff at Christmas, one-on-one time with me). It's not like we NEVER do these things, but we certainly do them less often than kids we know who are onlies. I guess this is the flip side of having siblings: you feel more included because your siblings share your fate.
                    my primal journal:
                    http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum...Primal-Journal

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by Saoirse View Post
                      Her 5 year old apparently protested loudly at the fact that i didn't pack one for him.
                      Hello Saorise. No, not petty. I get it. I have four of my own, so I get all the conflicting-in-the-head stuff. He is only-child, yours are a bit tougher, you like both mom and kid... I think your feelings show you are simply a good mom and a nice person, to boot. And nice people don't like leaving friends out, even if it was not intentional. Nothing more. And mom is wrapped up in her single, solitary little man - also nothing horrible. Come on over and I'll pour you a too-sweet wine and we'll swap stories until this one just goes *poof* into the ether... talking about these things gets them out of your head so you can go on with your day.

                      This has nothing to do with anything, but I'll tell you my most recent story of encounter-with-only-child...

                      Only child is the 17-year-old daughter of my brother-in-law. They wanted more kids and tried everything but my sister-in-law's baby-making plumbing irreversibly quit so they had just one. Like I said, I have 4, all girls. One of them is special-needs, really touchy-feely because touch was her main input to the outside world for the longest time until I could get her straightened out enough (tons of docs and therapies) to use words more, but it still remains important. This is the kind of kid who, when she sits next to you, is pushing up against you from that side. The whole family knows her story and has enough experience with her so that it is now, "oh, whatever", when we all get together.

                      So - the entire family - grandparents, all their kids plus spouses and grandchildren (my special one among them), are at a state park for the week, camping in the cabins. Each family unit got their own cabin. The 17-year-old brought her boyfriend along. He is a neat guy - friendly, outgoing, big lug of a young man, experience with disabled kids and has no "ewwwww" problems with my daughter. My daughter picked up on the fact that he is so cool and proceeds to want to play with him as much as he will allow, including a bunch of baby wrestling, which the 17-year-old's father is about 95% the instigator of the entire week - and special kid saw that it was quickly becoming the WWF, so she thought she would participate...

                      Well - on a family walk, I am approached by the mom of the 17-year-old. I like this lady, just so you know. She proceeds to tell me that there was a huge family fight the night before in her cabin about how my special-needs daughter was climbing all over the boyfriend, and how the 17-year-old DEMANDED that her mom come and talk to me about it to get it to quit...

                      I was stunned. My other sister-in-law (who has 3 of her own) overheard this, and once the mom of the 17-year-old walked on, let the f-bombs drop like rain. That made me feel better... but what CHILDISHNESS!!!

                      Edit: I forgot to tell - my daughter was 9...
                      Last edited by Crabbcakes; 06-22-2012, 11:10 AM.
                      I have a mantra that I have spouted for years... "If I eat right, I feel right. If I feel right, I exercise right. If I exercise right, I think right. If I think right, I eat right..." Phil-SC

                      Comment


                      • you pinned it basically. soo...right or wrong, no juice boxes or other treats around that kiddo unless they come in packs of 4 (because i'm not buying 6 to placate one kid).

                        woah, how old is your special needs kiddo? was it an issue of "sharing" or was it because the 17 yo felt somehow insecure that her boyfriend was roughhousing with another (albeit special needs) girl? what a bummer. but it sounds like your niece has good taste in boys.
                        my primal journal:
                        http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum...Primal-Journal

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by Saoirse View Post
                          woah, how old is your special needs kiddo?
                          She was 9 at the time of the Boyfriend Crisis. THAT made it suck a kicker.
                          I have a mantra that I have spouted for years... "If I eat right, I feel right. If I feel right, I exercise right. If I exercise right, I think right. If I think right, I eat right..." Phil-SC

                          Comment


                          • Originally posted by Saoirse View Post
                            lol, i had the same experience when i was expected to bring food to class (class rule, my cell phone went off), and i made chocolate mousse, and only 2-3 people tried it! WTF?? i even covered it in whipped cream and dusted cocoa powder on top so it would look pretty.

                            Seriously! The main complaint, of course, is that none of it is "sweet enough." Just because I don't put any processed sugar in the stuff doesn't mean it's not sweet. It tastes good, the problem is that they're "normal" level of sweet is ridiculously high because of all the SAD junk they eat.

                            I did however just get a brand spanking new jar of local honey (straight from the beeguy himself) so the next time I make things, I might throw a bit of that in and see if it makes the difference. I somehow doubt it though.
                            Went Primal July 25th, 2011.

                            Current Age: 25

                            Total Loss: 126 lbs

                            Starting Stats: Weighed 266 lbs, Body Fat 37.6% (100 lbs), BMI 40.9

                            Current Stats: Weight 140 lbs, Body Fat 15.2% (21.1 lbs), BMI 21.2

                            Current Goals: Get a stronger core through Pilates and continue being as Primal as I can be.

                            My Weight Loss Notes Now on a blog page. It starts with "My Weight Loss: Introduction." Available to the public, share with friends if you'd like!

                            Comment


                            • Originally posted by Crabbcakes View Post
                              the mom of the 17-year-old
                              douchebag- noun

                              An individual who has an over-inflated sense of self worth, compounded by a low level of intellegence, behaving ridiculously in front of colleagues with no sense of how moronic she appears.
                              If I just said LOL, I lied. Do or do not. There is no try.

                              Comment


                              • Originally posted by Crabbcakes View Post
                                She was 9 at the time of the Boyfriend Crisis. THAT made it suck a kicker.
                                oh wow. yeah, definitely a "i don't want to share my toy" sort of issue. hopefully she'll grow out of that.

                                trekfan- this was definitely sweet enough, and those who tried it made a point to catch me after class to tell me how much they liked it. *shrug* i think people aren't used to homemade food anymore.
                                my primal journal:
                                http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum...Primal-Journal

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