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Babies Need Their Mothers Beside Them

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  • Babies Need Their Mothers Beside Them

    It makes sense from an evolutionary perspective.
    article

    and another.
    ...A newborn's mother has everything a baby needs – arms to hold him, breasts with human milk to feed and comfort him, a human body to share with him, a person to protect and be there for him. ...

    ""There is no such thing as a baby, there is a baby and someone." This statement captures the reality of the human baby – a reality which is often overlooked in our society because babies are inaccurately perceived from the moment of birth as separate individuals."
    Last edited by Saoirse; 12-11-2010, 01:56 PM.
    my primal journal:
    http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum...Primal-Journal

  • #2
    I agree, my kids all co-slept til after 2 years of age. The only downside is that I've not gotten a good night's sleep in about 5 years now The part where it say cosleeping infants nurse two to three times as much is certainly true, but a little lost sleep is worth the reduced SIDS risk.

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    • #3
      i completely agree. now both of my older kids (4 and 7) sleep happily in their own beds in their shared bedroom.

      what's particularly interesting about cosleeping is the breathing regulation of the newborn by the mother's exhaled CO2 and heart rate. it's like a reminder to take a breath and also prevents the newborn from going into the more dangerous deeper stages of sleep.
      Last edited by Saoirse; 12-11-2010, 02:08 PM.
      my primal journal:
      http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum...Primal-Journal

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      • #4
        My daughter was one of the happiest, most contented infants I'd ever been around. She breastfeed exclusively for one year and keep on chugging it down for the next 1 1/2 years. She also coslept exclusively and still often does for part of the night. She did go to daycare early on while I worked but she was still so happy and content. People routinely came up to us in restaurants and elsewhere to tell us how pleasant she was.

        She got a lot less pleasant when she began eating a variety of foods (didn't realize that at the time--thought it was terrible twos). I'm really wondering if grains are affecting her negatively and am going to try to wean her off as much as I can. I want my ray of sunshine back
        True healthcare reform starts in your kitchen, not in Washington. ~Anonymous
        The worst carrot is better than the best candybar.--TornadoGirl

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        • #5
          You learn a little bit about human beings from an evolutionary perspective and all of a sudden modern child-rearing seems like systematic psychological torture. I mean that.
          You lousy kids! Get off my savannah!

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Grumpy Caveman View Post
            You learn a little bit about human beings in an evolutionary perspective and all of a sudden modern child-rearing seems like systematic psychological torture. I mean that.
            i completely agree. i made my poor firstborn CIO before he was even a year old. stupid new parent mistake. 35 minutes of crying bought him 20ish minutes of fitful, solitary sleep in his crib before he awoke again. i cried the whole time on the other side of the bedroom door. we sold the crib while i was pregnant with my second baby.
            my primal journal:
            http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum...Primal-Journal

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            • #7
              yeah, GC, it's true.

              continuum concept, man. great book. so enlightening.

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              • #8
                Wrong, babies can be raised by wolves... or get eaten by them.

                Whatever.

                Meh.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by zoebird View Post
                  yeah, GC, it's true.

                  continuum concept, man. great book. so enlightening.
                  +1
                  my primal journal:
                  http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum...Primal-Journal

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Grumpy Caveman View Post
                    You learn a little bit about human beings from an evolutionary perspective and all of a sudden modern child-rearing seems like systematic psychological torture. I mean that.
                    This is SO true. If anyone's interested, the book "Our Babies, Our Selves" by Meredith Small goes into this in-depth, from an anthropological/evolutionary perspective. Fantastic book!

                    Ignoring the hows & whys of human evolution also makes for much more stressed parenting too! Co-sleeping, breastfeeding, baby-wearing parents who are in no hurry to stuff the little ones into institutional life tend to be much more satisfied with their roles as parents.

                    The other aspect to stress-free parenting is having a close-knit group of kin or kin-like folk around. Not to necessarily take care of the kids (although that's nice sometimes too), but to take care of YOU, and provide you with conversation, accompaniment with daily tasks, gossip, moral support... I am so grateful to have my husband's parents in the same city, and a dependable circle of friends and neighbours. I read (and hear) all the time about (and work with, sometimes) parents who have no social circle, no family around, and it makes me so sad. This is what modern life has brought us - isolation when we need a tribe/village/extended family.

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                    • #11
                      I guess my gal was a mutant -- she never seemed willing to sleep next to either of us, or comfortable with it, and certainly was never willing to nurse in that position. And believe me, I wished she would! Kept trying all different ways to "talk" her into it, no dice.

                      If we got her to fall asleep in a different position first, sometimes we would have the luxury of sleeping next to her for a short time because we loved it. She sure didn't, though, as soon as she woke up and realized we were there. It was baffling. We felt so rejected!

                      Thankfully she always seemed super-happy to snuggle in other non-horizontal positions to her heart's content, let us wear her in her sling, etc. Between all that and nursing contact, I guess she got enough of us.

                      P.S.: It'll be interesting to see how Baby #2 fares and how much she does or doesn't seem to want us around. We'll have to play it by ear, I guess.
                      Last edited by Jenny; 12-11-2010, 08:09 PM. Reason: P.S.:
                      "Trust me, you will soon enter a magical land full of delicious steakflowers, with butterbacons fluttering around over the extremely rompable grass and hillsides."

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                      • #12
                        i've heard some babies are like that Jenny. i hope this next baby lets you snuggle.
                        my primal journal:
                        http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum...Primal-Journal

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                        • #13
                          Oh, we got lots of snuggles! Just not sleep-snuggles really. She slept no prob on her own.

                          (we still had that "omg is she breathing?! Go check constantly!" feeling, especially since her cousin died of SIDS, so we got a Respisense for her. What a relief that was! So we got a new one for baby #2 too.)
                          "Trust me, you will soon enter a magical land full of delicious steakflowers, with butterbacons fluttering around over the extremely rompable grass and hillsides."

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                          • #14
                            a lot of babies sleep next to the bed, when they don't like sleeping with parents, or parents are nervous about sleeping with. easier reaction times too.

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                            • #15
                              True -- Baby 2 will be right next to our bed for months, so that'll help. (assuming she's like her sister -- that worked for her too.)
                              "Trust me, you will soon enter a magical land full of delicious steakflowers, with butterbacons fluttering around over the extremely rompable grass and hillsides."

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