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women, body hair and society

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  • women, body hair and society

    Today i was thinking about society and how women are expected to be hairless (and most men find hairless women more attractive), and started to think it's kinda sad that women feel pressured to change their bodies to please men.. What got me thinkin this in the first place., was when a friend told me she forgot to pluck her nipple/breast hairs (apparently pretty common in women) and was embarrassed because her boyfriend saw them and got turned off... It seems kinda crazy that something as simple as a few hairs on a women can disgust a guy like hat, and bring a woman's self esteem down so much...
    Just wanted to know your thoughts on the issue? Is a woman's natural body hair a total turn off to guys? As a woman, do you feel it's unfair that today's society makes us feel that we need to change our bodies?

  • #2
    i shave because i want to. i don't like the feeling of hair on my body. i like the feeling of being smooth sometimes after i shave my legs i rub them together like a cricket because it's so nice.

    and my boyfriend's nipple hair turns me off. so it goes both ways.


    edit: i would like to add that my boyfriend doesn't care how much hair i have on my body at all. which is good because i'm partly mexican so i'm pretty hairy with dark hair, so when i have any bit of stubble, it is definatley noticeable. legs, underarms, arms, girlstauche....
    Last edited by callherpetrol; 12-10-2010, 02:47 PM.

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    • #3
      Society cannot "make" a person feel any particular way, and a woman is not forced to be with a man that brings down her self esteem in any way. These are both personal choices to make.
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      • #4
        I think it's unfair that it's expected of us. I actually got really angry when I read some of the things that were written about Julia Roberts' armpits and MoNique's legs.

        Unfortunately, I grew up in this society where female body hair is disgusting, so I feel gross unless I shave my pits and legs. And, while I hate hate HATE to admit it, I find hairy legs on women a bit of a turn-off, and visible facial hair is a dealbreaker. =[ (I will say that I could totally live with armpit or nipple hair.) I feel equally guilty that back hair on men turns me off. (All other hair on men is a-ok.)

        There's some grooming that's practical... not to get too vulgar (that's tough to do here at MDA, lol) but I can see expecting a partner (of either gender) to do some pubic hair grooming for the sake of comfort during, ahem, various activities. But leg hair just doesn't have that much of an impact, it doesn't even make sense that we started shaving legs in the first place.
        "mayness, you need to have a siggy line that says "Paleo Information Desk" or something!" -FMN <3

        I'm blogging again, at least a little bit.

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        • #5
          Yeah, I think it's pretty stupid and sexist. Luckily, so does Mr. Holla. I don't think I would have married someone who told me that my natural body was repulsive. I'm not anti-shaving (I also love how it feels when I rub my freshly shaved legs together), but I am lazy. Sometimes lazy is just going to win!

          Edited to add: and I do agree with mayness that keeping pubic hair in check is common courtesy - for both genders. But, again, you don't have to shave or wax - I'm fine with a nice close trim.
          Last edited by theholla; 12-10-2010, 02:36 PM.
          The Primal Holla! Eating fat. Getting lean. Being awesome.

          You were sick, but now you're well, and there's work to do. - Kilgore Trout

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          • #6
            I've never been bothered by unshaven legs. In fact I encourage my girlfriend not to shave if she doesn't feel like it. Fuck patriarchal standards.
            The whole concept of a macronutrient, like that of a calorie, is determining our language game in such a way that the conversation is not making sense." - Dr. Kurt Harris

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            • #7
              Not to be the pragmatic realist, but it simply is the favor of society currently to prefer trimming and shaving. How often do women suffer in absolutely torturous high heels because "they look so pretty"? (Often: I've heard it before) - as the song goes, "and all the girls walk by dressed up for each other" If you don't like it, don't do it. No big deal. There are plenty of folks who are fine with women "au natural". It's entirely your choice. But don't be surprised when people don't like it. Chunky peanut butter vs smooth. People have opinions.

              FWIW nipple hair does turn me off because it gets in the way when I'm "around there". Same for "down there". Practically speaking, it literally gets in the way and disrupts the fantastic texture of skin.
              Last edited by carlh; 12-10-2010, 03:08 PM.
              carl's cave

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              • #8
                hey, in Europe the women don't shave legs.....but recently now, some do.....ah well.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by carlh View Post
                  FWIW nipple hair does turn me off because it gets in the way when I'm "around there". Same for "down there". Practically speaking, it literally gets in the way and disrupts the fantastic texture of skin.
                  +1, a landing strip or just keeping it trim is far more preferable to me personally, nipple hair on a woman is just awkward as well. As far as legs go I don't really mind, especially in the winter, but if they start getting near my leg hair level I may have to say something.
                  My whole life, I've felt like an animal......but I've ignored my instincts. I ignored what I really am. That will never happen again.

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                  • #10
                    I am SO lazy about shaving my legs, but I admit if I think somebody's going to see them (or wearing shorts in the summer) I'm very prompt at keeping them shaven even though I've had guys say "What? That's not so bad." I have to shave my armpits though. Every day. I guess I just sort of feel "less clean" when I'm not all smooth.

                    I guess the only thing I'm actually self conscious about anyone seeing is toe hair, so yes, I shave those too.

                    Cultures all have their ideals for beauty. Both men and women have their pressures. I don't like overly hair men either.

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                    • #11
                      The following statement, brought to you by Zoebird, includes a great deal of offensive language. Please skip the post if you are offended.


                      1. "society" don't make me feel nuffin. i'm responsible for my own feelings on things, and quite honestly, what others want of me usually just pisses me off, rather than motivates me to do what they want.

                      case in point: fellow coworker (i was the new boss) decided that i was "unprofessional" because i didn't dress as formally as she would prefer while at work. i was changing the culture of the workplace, and wanted it to be less formal. it was just as professional. she would daily complain (eg, yell) at me for unprofessionalism, and i would kindly explain the difference between professionalism and formal vs informal dress. she ultimately left the business.

                      the whole time, i just became more staunch in my own position. bitch doesn't get to say what i wear, or what culture i want to create in my own offices.

                      bitch-ass society doesn't either.

                      2. if other women take issue with bitch-ass society bossing them around, they need to grow a pair of ovaries and tell bitch-ass society to fuck off.

                      3. if my man is turned off by a few nipple hairs, he ain't no man, and he can take his cry baby, tiny-dick self out the door. Girlfriend will find her a real man next time, who sure as hell isn't afraid of a few nipple hairs. As if men don't have a laundry list of nasty turn offs that somehow, we gals are supposed to adore. Puh-Leez. If i didn't have sex every time my husband was nasty and a turn off, girlfriend wouldn't be gettin' any. I just Woman-Up and have fun.

                      Whiney girl days are over. Be yourself, do what you want with your body hair, and find someone else who doesn't give a shit.


                      ** please note that penis size does not refer to actual penis size, but instead an image of masculinity in terms of the archetypal aspect of the Penis such as Shiva Lingam**
                      Last edited by zoebird; 12-10-2010, 04:28 PM.

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                      • #12
                        oh, and for the record, i shave my arm pits and legs, and keep my pubic hair trimmed and i don't have any nipple hair. i get three long hairs on my chin that pluck. i call them my witch hairs and think they are funny. i do not pluck my eyebrows or wear make up.

                        i do these because they *please me* not because someone else wants me to or says i have to. I have plenty of girlfriends who do nto shave, and all of them have men who like that they do not shave.

                        So, you just be yourself. whatever you want will be fine. seriously.

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by carlh View Post
                          If you don't like it, don't do it. No big deal. There are plenty of folks who are fine with women "au natural". It's entirely your choice.
                          +1

                          But don't be surprised when people don't like it. Chunky peanut butter vs smooth. People have opinions.
                          Yup. *shrug* I guess I just don't think it's a big deal.

                          FWIW nipple hair does turn me off because it gets in the way when I'm "around there". Same for "down there". Practically speaking, it literally gets in the way and disrupts the fantastic texture of skin.
                          I really think this is mostly the issue....that smooth skin feels so fantastic. ITA. Having said that, I'm not a huge fan of waxing for guys b/c while the regrowth isn't stubbly, I don't like the way it feels. And close trimming? Ick. Feels like stubble. Laser otoh....

                          And wrt girl grooming... Someone here once said "the fewer the merrier" and that pretty much sums up my preference for my body hair. I'm happy with the hair on my head, my eyebrows and eyelashes but prefer smooth, hairless skin everywhere else simply b/c *I* love the way it feels.


                          Strong 2nd to Zoebird wrt "do what you want with your body hair and find someone else who doesn't give a shit."

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                          • #14
                            yeah, it's unfair, but i think we've come to a place in society where women generally aren't ostracized for choosing different grooming habits. i shave when and where i want to, and generally because it's what i want. dh doesn't care as long as i don't oscillate- he doesn't like stubbles because of texture. he prefers either au natural legs (i have blond leg hair anyway) or bare, but not in between. sometimes he has to deal with in-between. *shrug* i pluck my brows because i like the look, but i don't stress about it if i go too long between plucking. there are more important things to worry about!

                            if we want to talk about gender inequality, why is it okay for a woman to stay-at-home even if she doesn't have kids, but a man in a similar scenario would be considered a bum and worth divorcing?
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                            • #15
                              I do like the feeling of smooth skin but I also know that I'm grossed out by my own hairiness at least in part because I know other people would find it unappealing. It frustrates me when people won't admit that societal standards of beauty do affect what they do to their own bodies, no man is an island and all that. I'm not gonna lie, a lot of the decisions I make about my appearance are based on what I think would be attractive to men (which is usually what I think looks good on me, within a certain range of comfort) (although within a certain culturally-specific standard, not the mainstream). For example, undoubtedly a lot of people follow PB because they want to lose weight, at least in part to be more attractive to others. To be honest, if fatness was considered attractive, I wouldn't care as much about slimming down. Although what I mean by this culturally-specific standard is that I'm more ok with a little extra body fat than a lot of the people on this board seem to be, i.e. I would never want to make my ass smaller :P
                              Last edited by spakesneaker; 12-10-2010, 06:15 PM.

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