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  • Sabotaging my own success

    I weighed myself on Monday, 127, the lowest I have been in probably 5 years...


    and now the rest of this week I have been eating like crap!! I literally feel like I am sabotaging myself because I obsess over my weight so much that if I finally start losing like I want to, I won't have anything to obsess over anymore.

    Does anyone else feel that they do this? I'm reaching out for some support!! Any suggestions would be SO appreciated


  • #2
    I used to see a low number on the scale and think it was a free pass for me to eat junk, but I don't think that's the same as what you're doing. I'd suggest ignoring the number on the scale and trying to put obsessive tendencies to good use - e.g. finding a hobby that you enjoy and obsess about being good at it. I don't mean obsessing too literally, because real obsession is stressful in my opinion.

    Wow, I think I went way over my limit of typing obsess and its variants for today, lol.

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    • #3
      Yeah it's weird, I don't think of it as a free pass either, at least not consciously, I actually want to keep on seeing it go down... and plan on eating really clean but I don't know what happens?! It's a little frightening actually... good thinking about the hobby thing though! Might keep me away from being obsessed about food, which obviously is NOT healthy.

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      • #4
        i think it's worth looking into what the behavioral pattern is and how to unlock it. once it's unlocked, it won't be at issue.

        a lot of people feel, for example, that they don't truly deserve to be healthy. so, they do what they can do avoid it. they love the drama of the yo-yo diet, for example. others just feel that they don't deserve to be a certain weight. sthere could be lots and lots of reasons/options to explore.

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        • #5
          YES. I have a pattern of this and, in fact, I am doing it right now. Unfortunately, I know it well.

          The best I've ever done was when I had absolutely no idea how much I weighed.

          The best I've FINALLY been able to come up with to deal with this is to get completely out of my own way and continue to take care of myself on a daily basis:
          Do not weigh myself no matter what and have a checklist of health/personal care items I must check off before I can get in bed.
          Vitamins? Check.
          Met water requirements? Check.
          Skin care? Check.
          And so forth....
          Last edited by TigerLily; 12-03-2010, 08:00 AM.
          "Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food." -- Hippocrates

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          • #6
            I completely relate to this, and have been struggling with my obsession with food and body image for a VERY long time. I've been following and loving the PB lifestyle for over 2 months now. I don't view it as a diet, but because of what I am going through in my life at the moment, the weight-loss aspect has become an obsession. Everything else in my life is very peaceful, calm, and drama-free, for ONCE. I've been through a very stressful year (divorce, moving a lot) and have been living alone for 6 months. I've realized that the times in my life that I have struggled with body-image/ food obsession the most, are when I am living alone. I've also noticed that the times I have been the skinniest were when I didn't even think about food, or losing weight.

            For me, I have about 5 pounds of fat that I would like to lose. I am a 31 yr old woman, 5'3, about 22% body fat, and weigh 120 pounds. I know that I am in a healthy range, and I am fairly fit and strong. Over the past 10 years I have been as light as 103 and as heavy as 148. I've been teetering around the 120 zone for a 5 months now. I've been VERY strict with PB for 2 months, but no real change as occured. I'm pretty sure that as long as I obsess, these last few pounds will not budge. And maybe, this is the body shape/weight that I am meant to have, as I am now a woman. It comes down to acceptance, but I have that same sabotaging monster in my head. Instead of eating too much to reward myself, its the opposite...the frustration of being a very clean eater/ exerciser with no results makes me want to binge (and thats with primal food...nuts, dried fruit, dark choc, fruit). Its a horrible cycle.

            Just yesterday, I felt myself let go of the need to CONTROL. This is the one "struggle" of my life right now. As long as I eat these amazingly nourishing foods, and enjoy them consciously, without counting, obsessing, weighing, trying on my jeans every day (insanity), I will be ok.

            Deep breathing helps too.

            Danielle

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            • #7
              I struggle with the exact same thing. For me, it's a brutal cycle of overeating for days until I can barely fit in my pants and lower my self-esteem to the point where I'll avoid social outings, to a week of eating clean and fitting back in my pants, and then back to the same "free pass" mentality. However, I'm not sure if it's that I feel I have room for going back to indulgent eating patterns (the "free pass") or, like you said Tara, if it's more of a sabotage. What would I do with my time if I weren't obsessing about food? It all seems silly, and I hope we can make it to the point where thinking about something as simple as eating isn't such a stressful burden.

              Maybe Enamel and Tigerlily are right in suggesting to avoid the number on the scale. However, the fit of my clothes also set off the overeating cycle. hm.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by SOBE Grok-Star View Post
                I've also noticed that the times I have been the skinniest were when I didn't even think about food, or losing weight.

                I'm pretty sure that as long as I obsess, these last few pounds will not budge.

                Just yesterday, I felt myself let go of the need to CONTROL. This is the one "struggle" of my life right now. As long as I eat these amazingly nourishing foods, and enjoy them consciously, without counting, obsessing, weighing, trying on my jeans every day (insanity), I will be ok.

                Deep breathing helps too.

                YES, YES, YES.

                For years, my body had a particular set point (that wasn't *my* idea of what my set point should be!) that I pretty much had to abuse myself to get below. I hadn't weighed myself in years (and, not coincidentally, was the thinnest and fittest and strongest in all senses of the word I'd ever been in my adult life), when curiosity got the better of me after my gym put in a scale. It turns out that, without me knowing how much I weighed and being calm inside irt to it all, my body blew straight threw that set point and was actually 7 pounds less! Impossible!

                Looking back on it now, that was the beginning of the end for me. I then, in slow motion, went off the rails....
                "Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food." -- Hippocrates

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                • #9
                  I am right there with you! Been Primal since August, down 21 lbs! Because I was feeling good about the weight loss and had a long and stressful day at work yesterday, I 'rewarded' myself with a disgusting fast food meal and an extra (large) glass of wine. And yes, I feel like hell this morning - ill stomach, low energy, right down to the puffy eyes from the salt.
                  I just had to remind myself that the weight isn't the only reason I started Primal - the energy, digestion, and overall feeling healthier was the point so despite the great weight-loss, there is more to it than that.
                  So, ham, egg and veggie omelet for breakfast with black coffee and back to CrossFit at noon. At least it doesn't take much to get back into the swing of things

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                  • #10
                    BTW, Congrats on the weight loss and successes so far!

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                    • #11
                      I think the scale is probably my biggest enemy. I've had to re-lose probably hundreds of pounds because I'd be like "oooh new lowest weight. I can eat something tasty" and then I'd spend the next few days getting back down to that new lowest weight. I am doing the whole30 and still can't bring myself to hide the scale. I think I'm just as bad with the tape measure. I really need to take a deep breath and hide both for the rest of the year.

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                      • #12
                        The Fear of Success

                        We all start this journey with high aspirations, but what happens when we actually achieve our goals?? It's scary!! The fear of success is very real, very difficult, but know that just because you've succeeded in achieving the magic number or goal doesn't mean the journey is over. You have to maintain, and you have to make new goals- more pull ups, starting a new physical hobby that scares you (ice skating anyone). Don't let fear of success prevent you from succeeding.

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by moderngrokker View Post
                          just because you've succeeded in achieving the magic number or goal doesn't mean the journey is over
                          Those are definitely words to live by - maybe even words to print out and tape to the scale.

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                          • #14
                            Thanks for all the wise words, a lot of things you all said definitely rang true for me.

                            I think that I need to put the scale away, as curious as I get, and maybe only allow myself to hop on it once a month. It's funniest to me that I dropped the weight in a time period when I wasn't able to eat as clean as I would have liked and wasn't able to weigh myself.

                            I've been laid up with a broken foot for the past month so I haven't really been exercising but I should be trying to find something else to help me stop obsessing so much over the food part. I want to be healthy too, not just thin! I don't think there is anything healthy about a food obsession.

                            I'm also in the middle of planning a wedding so I know I'm feeling the pressure to make sure that I look perfect when I walk down that aisle.

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                            • #15
                              I don’t have much to add to this. Also being a guy in what is thus far a woman-dominated thread may make my advice seem insensitive but it’s definitely not meant to be that way, it’s meant to be constructive.

                              I have to second the advice of not being afraid of success and setting goals besides “I want to weigh this much” because honestly numbers mean NOTHING.

                              Also, think of it this way:

                              Absolutely nobody cares how much you weigh except for you. Not your momma, not your daddy, not your husband to be, nobody at all. Only you care if you weight 150lbs today and 151lbs a half hour after eating. People that love you and care for you are only concerned with your health and happiness, not the number on the scale.

                              There’s no need to toss the beast (the scale) but to understand that it just doesn’t matter what it says. If we’re talking strictly about body composition then there are way better markers. Clothing fit, the mirror, etc.

                              We all do toss numbers around though, I’m proud to have lost almost 30lbs, but I also don’t care if I gain weight as long as I achieve the look I’m going for. Past that, once I achieve that look, I’m still going to say “okay, I look awesome, but I still cant do (blank) so it’s not over”

                              We all need to learn to relax a little, and enjoy life and realize that this isn’t just for this year, or this month, this is a permanent thing. Eating right, getting some exercise, getting proper sleep, reducing stress, etc, isn’t just while you’re still reading Mark’s Daily Apple and frequenting this message board. These are things we should all do for as long as we live, and, thusly, being too strict with oneself might lead to crashes and binges, etc, depending on your personality. Developing a healthier relationship with food is key. I feel that people that tend to get to a certain number on the scale, or complete a length of time of "clean eating" and then "reward" themselves by eating garbage don't really like what they eat to begin with. Fix that problem, and you won't feel like you're holding out on yourself by eating good primal foods. I feel like I'm cheating when I eat a good steak with a nice side of crispy sweet potatoes cooked in bacon, onions, etc... the fact that it's good for me is still nuts. Eat good primal foods that you love to eat, the desire to binge on other stuff should hopefully go away since you look forward to better, yummier, healthier meals.

                              I can't bring myself to eat bad foods that much anymore. Simply knowing what they do to me in a hormonal level (not even mentioning weight gain but just mood and stuff) makes them very undesirable. Sure, I think pizzas are tasty, but I'm really not desperate for them like I was before going primal and learning that good wholesome food can really rock your socks off.

                              Sorry if this response is too guy-oriented, but thinking like a girl is hard for me to do!
                              Last edited by iniQuity; 12-03-2010, 11:14 AM.
                              I used to seriously post here, now I prefer to troll.

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