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The (Ugly) Truth About Beauty

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  • The (Ugly) Truth About Beauty

    • The Truth About Beauty
      from Psychology Today: "It would be so nice if inner beauty triumphed over outer appearance. But men are designed to care about packaging. It's time to accept the not-so-pretty facts about looks

    Yet, if you're a woman who wants to land a man, there's this notion that you should be able to go around looking like Ernest Borgnine: If you're "beautiful on the inside," that's all that should count. Right. And I should have a flying car and a mansion in Bel Air with servants and a moat. Welcome to Uglytopia—the world reimagined as a place where it's the content of a woman's character, not her pushup bra, that puts her on the cover of Maxim. It just doesn't seem fair to us that some people come into life with certain advantages—whether it's a movie star chin or a multimillion-dollar shipbuilding inheritance. Maybe we need affirmative action for ugly people; make George Clooney rotate in some homely women between all his gorgeous girlfriends. While we wish things were different, we'd best accept the ugly reality: No man will turn his head to ogle a woman because she looks like the type to buy a turkey sandwich for a homeless man or read to the blind.


    Yet, while feminist journalists deforest North America publishing articles urging women to bow out of the beauty arms race and "Learn to love that woman in the mirror!", nobody gets into the ridiculous position of advising men to "Learn to love that unemployed guy sprawled on the couch!"
    rotflmao!
    Last edited by cillakat; 11-23-2010, 01:01 PM.



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  • #2
    LOL- that's amusing.

    Rush comments occasionally, Undeniable Truth of Life No. 24, written back in 1987: Feminism was established so as to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream of society.

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    • #3
      ow, harsh!

      seriously though, so much beauty comes from confidence and self-love, which are accessible to anyone. whining about being too ugly to get a man never got anyone a man. However, lots of gals find good men without ever being on the cover of maxim... and lots of fat chicks are happily married. go figure.

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      • #4
        "block user". Best feature ever.

        On another note: any thoughts on the evolutionary psychology/evolutionary biology are welcome. Psychology Today has fanfreakingtastic articles.



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        • #5
          I liked the article.

          Being pretty IS powerful. You don't have to be a maniplator but you know, having a certain sway does have its advantages. I've had the benefit of living two lives so far. The first was of the fat girl, and the second the skinny girl. Guess what? If you're the skinny girl you actually have people stop their vehicle so you can cross the street. People are nicer to pretty people. Right or wrong, that's the way it is. And that's why women have all the power and men... can be so easily manipulated- lol. Not that they all should be, but it's just too easy sometimes. Working with a group of men, you learn just how easy it can be.

          In business, being attractive makes you more persuasive. In romance, you get more shots at finding Mr or Ms Right. For me in dating, I'm attracted to looks of course, but if the inside is ugly, dude ain't getting date number 2. Likewise I can see myself falling for a (less than attractive) friend because of the inner beauty. Love is complicated. It's easy to lust, but when you really fall in LOVE, that's not something you can calculate or manipulate.

          I agree though. Beauty is power and there's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to look your best. You don't have to do it every day, but for the most part, it really is worth trying.

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          • #6
            Women fall in love from the inside out.
            Men fall in love from the outside in.
            "Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food." -- Hippocrates

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            • #7
              The problem isn't that men, and women, use physical factors to gauge sexual fitness (in the evolutionary sense). The problem is that the media packages and sells unattainable beauty, otherwise we wouldn't aspire and buy products.

              Loving the person in the mirror isn't about saying "I'm ugly, but it doesn't matter." It's about saying "I may not be everyone's idea of beauty, but I am beautiful."


              Originally posted by TigerLily View Post
              Women fall in love from the inside out.
              Men fall in love from the outside in.
              I disagree wholeheartedly.

              Edit:
              "Yet, while feminist journalists deforest North America publishing articles urging women to bow out of the beauty arms race and "Learn to love that woman in the mirror!", nobody gets into the ridiculous position of advising men to "Learn to love that unemployed guy sprawled on the couch!"

              They seem to take a pretty hard, and unprofessional dig at feminists.

              Also, the comment about George Clooney is a bad example. He is known for being a man with a revolving door of girlfriends. There are plenty of studies that show that "external beauty" is much more likey to play a role in mate selection when looking for short-term relationships. Much like the study that you posted last week Cillakat.

              Loving the person in the mirror, something which someone may have very little control over is NOT the same as loving being an unemployed slob, which by the mere definition of slob suggests is completely within your power to change.
              Last edited by lcme; 11-23-2010, 04:27 PM.

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              • #8
                i admit, i actually laughed out loud at the sandwich and babies comment.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by lcme View Post
                  The problem isn't that men, and women, use physical factors to gauge sexual fitness (in the evolutionary sense). The problem is that the media packages and sells unattainable beauty, otherwise we wouldn't aspire and buy products.
                  this is what i agree with here.

                  i think it's entirely fine to bow out of the beauty "rat race." it is perfectly possible to be attractive and not have the products or whatever other lifestyle/dress images of attraction that our culture values.

                  i consider myself an attractive woman. I'm pretty, and I'm happy with myself. I do not wear make up, or dry my hair with a hair dryer, but i do take good care of my skin and get excellent hair cuts so my hair looks great even when i don't use a dryer. I have been over weight and i still got noticed. I have been very thin (118 lbs, us size 2), and i still got noticed. I dress well--but i don't spend a ton of money on clothes. I buy high quality pieces, a mixture of vintage and as much fair trade and organic new items as i can. And i have accessories that i like. I have my own style.

                  With all of this, i have always attracted people. I've never been on the cover of maxim, and i honestly do not want to be. I don't wear a bikini at the beach, and i tend to dress modestly. it's not shame. it's privacy. it's also my own image--what i want to express.

                  I know a lot of women like me. We don't buy the beauty myths, but we take care of ourselves, and we are beautiful--in our own ways--on the outside and the inside.

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                  • #10
                    Also, the comment about George Clooney is a bad example. He is known for being a man with a revolving door of girlfriends. There are plenty of studies that show that "external beauty" is much more likey to play a role in mate selection when looking for short-term relationships.
                    hey dont knock my favourite George!! I think you'll find he has pretty serious long term relationships... I'm just waiting for him to get around to me!

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                    • #11
                      This author twists the view of opponents in order to have her own seem more logical, but it is in fact very flawed and unsupported. She WAY overextends her opponent's arguments. As if women are running around with mumus and dirt smothered on their face trying to land a mate. Ernest Borgnine, I mean come on. I don't know anyone who "thumbs their nose" at beauty while saying that they can't find a partner.

                      "And, sure, you might be more "comfortable" in big sloppy sweats, but how "comfortable" will you be if he leaves you for a woman who cares enough to look hot for him?"

                      This is by far her most absurd comment. How many times do we look at men who cheat in the media and say "but his wife is so much more beautiful?" It happens quite often, and that is because the psychology of cheating is rarely ever to do with finding someone that is more beautiful.

                      I am not sure what her point even is with this article. If someone could clarify what they found interesting or intriguing I would love to know.

                      Originally posted by zoebird View Post
                      I know a lot of women like me. We don't buy the beauty myths, but we take care of ourselves, and we are beautiful--in our own ways--on the outside and the inside.
                      Exactly.

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by earthspirit View Post
                        i admit, i actually laughed out loud at the sandwich and babies comment.
                        I laughed out loud at the 'unemployed guy on the sofa' comment.

                        K
                        Last edited by cillakat; 11-27-2010, 01:38 PM.



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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by zoebird View Post
                          i think it's entirely fine to bow out of the beauty "rat race." it is perfectly possible to be attractive and not have the products or whatever other lifestyle/dress images of attraction that our culture values....
                          Don't forget, even if you win the rat race, you're still a rat!

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                          • #14
                            sometimes i wonder if alexb is some other guy on this forum who made up a new screen name and says stupid shit for the hell of it. i could imagine one of the guys doing that (who knows, maybe even my husband!) actually, that sounds sort of fun.

                            it makes sense that men and women select for attractiveness. BUT, each person has a slightly different view of attractive, and some people might not approach "attractive" people out of fear of rejection. and yes, there are a lot of really unattractive and overweight people who are married, so i think it proves that we humans have impulses, but alter the expression of those impulses. have you ever met someone who you thought was really attractive, but after spending time with that person, they LOOK less attractive than they did previously? attraction is almost entirely subjective.
                            my primal journal:
                            http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum...Primal-Journal

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                            • #15
                              I think cillakat posted this because she's a hot medical geek I don't think an ugly girl would have posted this.
                              A steak a day keeps the doctor away.

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