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  • How to change eating habits

    Friend of mine, female, is 50 lbs overweight. She has been working out four days a week for about six months now, some kind of aerobic Crossfitty stuff, and she says she is pouring in sweat after every session. She hasn't lost a single pound. I know her diet is bad, yet no matter what I tell her, she always eats the same way.

    Is this psychological? A love of food? I am actually kind of stressed out trying to get through to her, and ready to quit. I know she doesn't have to eat primally like me in order to lose weight, but she is pretty much a slave to junk and fast food. Her family situation contributes to this, as her kids will only eat pizza and KFC, so that stuff is always around. She also likes to stay up late and sleep in on weekends.

    How to get through? It's tough for me, because I go to lunch with her daily and try to resist making comments on the bad choices she makes.

  • #2
    I think this is a problem a lot of people today face, for some reason we as a society got the idea that we can eat like sh*t as long as we work out and it will even out in the end. Honestly your situation sucks, but you can't make the change for her, she needs to decide to do it for herself and is using the kids as an excuse to keep food like that around. There was a discussion on here a while back about kids and dessert, basically it boils down to the fact that you are the parent and they are the kid....if they don't "like" to eat anything other than crap, well tough; would you rather have a healthy happy family in the long run or a unhealthy happy family in the short run?
    My whole life, I've felt like an animal......but I've ignored my instincts. I ignored what I really am. That will never happen again.

    My blog

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    • #3
      Originally posted by Adventure8410 View Post
      for some reason we as a society got the idea that we can eat like sh*t as long as we work out and it will even out in the end.
      agreed...this is a complete misnomer that too many people believe. i'm not sure there's a whole lot you can do. adventure is right: she will have to come to it on her own. if she genuinely wants to change she will realize it and probably ask for help, but if you offer up unsolicited diet advice you'll probably just make her angry. all you can really do is be an example.
      http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread60178.html

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      • #4
        It really is a matter of her wanting to do it. "Those convinced against their will are of the same opinion still." I was 250 lbs and MISERABLE. I lived this way for years and nothing changed... until I wanted it to change and took the steps I needed to fix my problem.

        Really, it has to be her decision.

        Now, it could come down to a situation like my mom. She'd always complain about her weight and I'd give her advice. Eventually I got tired of her complaining and my advice going unheeded, and my response became "I've told you how to fix it. You just have to do it." Today... she does it.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Diana Renata View Post
          Eventually I got tired of her complaining and my advice going unheeded, and my response became "I've told you how to fix it. You just have to do it." Today... she does it.
          Nice! I hope she's feeling good/seeing results. It's so satisfying to win people over, even if it is slow and painful.

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          • #6
            Why not give her a copy of Marks book? Or even better for lazy people is the abridged audio book. If that doesn't do it, then nothing will.

            I'll tell you a fact of life, people don't change unless they truly want to. No "outside" help makes any different UNTIL that person decides to make a change for themselves. It also drags the "helper" down.
            One time http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/forum.php

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            • #7
              Ah, yes, and on the parenting note, that is just a big excuse. Its laughable that a parent can blame their diet on the kids cos all they eat is junk. As the parent you say what goes and what doesn't. If the kids don't agree (which they wont!) let them go hungry or somehow get they own money to buy their own food.

              Not only did I go primal, but my kid did too. And it wasn't easy for him, but he has adapted. He still likes to eat junk/sugar but that is his 20% so its all good.
              One time http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/forum.php

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              • #8
                I say absolutely nothing unless asked or unless I endure chronic complaining from friends about their weight while stuffing a ding-dong in their face. My mom just called in fact and was telling me about her arthritis and her sinus issues. I did suggest she cut the dairy out to see what happens as far as her sinuses go and see what happens. Dairy can make a cold worse too. She knows I don't eat grains and I throws CW wisdom at me so I don't bother having the discussion with her. I have a niece who is obese and has had seizures all her life. Could very well be linked to grains and sugar. My niece is 12 so one can't expect her to evaluate this possibility on her own but if my sister isn't willing then the point of discussion is futile. Unless of course one enjoys beating their head against a brick wall. Much like my friends, my sister believes I don't have weight issues because it is just the way I am. One of those people who can eat what they want whenever they want. There is absolutely no attention paid to what she eats that I do not and will not. They would much rather believe that I lock myself in a closet and gorge myself with bread and pastries.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Ollie View Post
                  Ah, yes, and on the parenting note, that is just a big excuse. Its laughable that a parent can blame their diet on the kids cos all they eat is junk. As the parent you say what goes and what doesn't. If the kids don't agree (which they wont!) let them go hungry or somehow get they own money to buy their own food.

                  Not only did I go primal, but my kid did too. And it wasn't easy for him, but he has adapted. He still likes to eat junk/sugar but that is his 20% so its all good.
                  +10000

                  same thing in my house. My kids are 80%. They wanted to eat school lunch because all their friends did. It lasted 2 days. I was scared to let them out of fear that they would like it. Part of me knew they wouldn't but you never know.

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                  • #10
                    Now, it could come down to a situation like my mom. She'd always complain about her weight and I'd give her advice. Eventually I got tired of her complaining and my advice going unheeded, and my response became "I've told you how to fix it. You just have to do it." Today... she does it. [/QUOTE]

                    Ah, I wish my parents understood the importance of what I'm doing. If I was still living with them, being primal would be near impossible (although, my mom started eating even more veggies so that is one step in the right direction). My mom is dealing with osteo(along with back fractures that are healing) after having a baby and breastfeeding for the first time (had my baby brother at the age of 42). No family history of osteo, so I think its related to the breastfeeding. I know that going primal would help her body better heal and absorb what she needs! Also, my dad had a weird heart symptom that docs never found an answer for...and now he is on beta blockers with no answer. He is stubborn, also gets the occasional heartburn, has sinus issues...All of which I know could be helped by at least eating more veggies and cutting back on his sugar and grains. I wouldn't even expect full primal eating...just something! *sigh* I hate watching people be sick and not taking initiative. Being sick with digestive problems is what led me here...

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                    • #11
                      Does she complain? Give her Mark's book and make her a bet.

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by DianeThePurple View Post
                        Does she complain? Give her Mark's book and make her a bet.
                        The only problem with that is...my Dad. She cooks for him as well, and he doesn't understand at all. I wouldn't want to deal with his remarks if I ate there all the time. She is also of the mindset that everything in moderation is ok. But, at least she does things like cook spaghetti squash for me and her whenever she makes spaghetti pasta. Heck, my bf eats terribly but he supports my decisions (and, I make the veggies I know he'll eat when he's around ) I keep sending her articles that leans toward primal ways to show how they help things like osteo. I'm hoping some of it helps her.

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Adventure8410 View Post
                          I think this is a problem a lot of people today face, for some reason we as a society got the idea that we can eat like sh*t as long as we work out and it will even out in the end.
                          I think thats part of a larger problem of believing that you can have everything today with no effort. It stems from a sense of entitlement we all have today.

                          Anyway, what to do: Mostly you can't do much except change small things and keep on doing them until they become habits. Its very hard to change. Most people don't want to change, and there is nothing you can do about it. Unless someone is open to being convinced there is no way you can change their mind.

                          Human beings are not rational animals (sorry Aristotle). They are reactive, stubborn and lazy. Most people only change due to something forcing them to. You can try and try to talk your friend around but you'll be wasting your time unless she is ready to change her life already. For that to happen will require something to motivate her, which will probably be a health scare or else seeing your massive improvements and coming to you for advice (instead of you going to her, which will just make her more stubborn and annoyed with you).
                          So, all you can do is show off your massive improvements as they come and hope that one day she'll become interested enough (and hopefully genuinely want to change) and ask you for advice.
                          A steak a day keeps the doctor away

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