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Slight rant

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  • Slight rant

    Not a full blown one...

    I have a relative who constantly gives me crap for how I eat, or how much I care about health, fitness etc. Needless to say this relative is a bit overweight...and when I say a bit, I am talking about 100+lbs (only an extremely small frame). I have tried to help this relative in the past, and thought they were going to get serious about it once, but to no avail.

    SO, I ask, is it wrong if I simply point out that I care about my health. It will obviously be a harsh look in the mirror for the relative, so do I even throw it out there? And perhaps an even better question and less of a rant, at what point do you stop caring how someone will take a comment, but feel the need to push the issue in their face because you can easily see where their unhealthy lifestyle is taking them. I know they will never change until they are ready, just frustrating to watch someone destroy themselves. I've never been really overweight, just a little bit after stopping a sport in college and continuing to eat like I was still playing, so I don't truly understand the hardship, so just looking for some insight here.

  • #2
    You can always say "my lifestyle isn't for everyone and if you are happy with your current look and fitness level... keep doing what your doing."

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    • #3
      I think it's perfectly acceptable to say you care about your health. There's nothing at all offensive in that.

      If it's a harsh look in the mirror to your relative, it's because they already know their lifestyle isn't healthy, and either can't or won't change. It can be very overwhelming to contemplate that level of change when CW makes it damn near impossible, and so they get defensive instead.
      Sassy: Revised - my primal log

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      • #4
        I don't think there is anything wrong with being blunt with people when they hassle me about my concern about what I put in my body. I don't complain to them about their lack of concern about their own health, and I only respect the same in return and have no problem pointing that out.
        For lots of tasty recipes, check out my blog -http://lifeasadreger.wordpress.com/

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Nick "the Caveman" M. View Post
          [...] at what point do you stop caring how someone will take a comment, but feel the need to push the issue in their face because you can easily see where their unhealthy lifestyle is taking them.
          This is exactly how they feel about your WOE/lifestyle. Confrontation begets confrontation. Let it go, man. Just say, "It works for me."
          Because if you didn't know, of that is life made: only of moments; Don't lose the now.
          ~Borges

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          • #6
            Their reaction is most likely a reflection of how they feel about themselves as others above have asserted. I am quite overweight. Thanks to PB I am down 45 pounds. Anyone that meets me for the first time today won't know about the lost pounds, but just sees me as overweight. That was how I saw myself on many levels before putting in the work. Talk of food or exercise embarassed me because deep down, I knew I wasn't living right. Now that I'm really trying, there is nothing about health or exercise or food that I have to feel embarassed about. When I talk to others about the change in diet and lifestyle, I stress quality of life and what I want for myself and my family. Your relative might react well to that approach, but as we all know, you can't "make" people do anything. Only they can make themselves do things. When the student is ready, the master appears.
            Your goals, minus your doubts, equals your reality.
            - Ralph Marston

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            • #7
              My suggestion would be to ask this relaive to try it out and see how he/she feels. This is the easiest lifestyle in the world to lead and it really doesn't take much effort to get and stay healthy. I, too, am a former college athlete, spent 8 yrs in the Army so my life has typically always been pretty active. I took some time off after I hurt my back and got a little fluff but not too bad. My brother on the other hand looks like the Michilen man, eats like crap, never workouts, but at least he did quit smoking. I have serious discussions with him all the time about health and exercise. We have a family history of heart disease, diabetes, etc and I use that as ammo, but I always tell him that this is your choice with what you do. You can take the easy road and eat food thats literally taking years off your life or you could try something different for a month or two and see how you feel. If you feel better then stick with it, if not go back to what makes you happy.

              This gives them a built in excuse but if they like it they'll stick with it. If they don't you tried and you'll have no regrets.
              Today is a new day. You will get out of it just what you put into it. If you have made mistakes, there is always another chance for you. And supposing you have tried and failed again and again, you may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call 'Failure' is not the falling down, but the staying down.

              Mary Pickford

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              • #8
                Keep leading by example and offer little specific information, other than it's a more natural diet. Telling people they've got it wrong or give the impression that your way is the only or best way isn't going to get you or them anywhere. Baby steps is best for most people that need to do a 360.
                Whether you think you can..... or you think you can't..... your 100 % correct.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Nick "the Caveman" M. View Post
                  Not a full blown one...

                  I have a relative who constantly gives me crap for how I eat,
                  I like what Say Rahh said, "Let it go."

                  But if the crap is, as you say, constant, then firing back with the purpose of stopping the crap is warranted. I had a similar situation with someone in my house. After my fourth sarcastic retort the crap stopped. That person is now eating much healthier, btw.

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                  • #10
                    My suggestion is stop talking about it @ all cost. Even if prompted. People really dont want to know even if they ask. If you have already talked to a person about it, than wait until they see how healthy you are, & if they are ready, hopefully they will come to you. I am sick of being told that I drank Jim Jonse's koolaid. I am just biting my tongue now when ever possible.
                    "Don't dream it, be it"

                    -Dr. Frank-N-Furter

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                    • #11
                      It's not your job to save people from them selves. When that person is really read for help, they'll ask for it, other wise, mind your own business.

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by mikebike View Post
                        It's not your job to save people from them selves. When that person is really read for help, they'll ask for it, other wise, mind your own business.
                        This isn't about helping someone or minding one's own business. The very first sentence in the OP says he's constantly getting crap from someone about how he eats. That's a totally different issue. I'll listen to dissenters. I'll accept some playful mocking. I'll do the same with their CW -- but if someone expects me to take, as he put it, constant crap, it has to be stopped. Discuss, explain, encourage, debate and disagree -- fine. Take constant crap? No way.

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                        • #13
                          If were around someone (related or not) that has a problem with what I'm doing and nothing to back up their claims then I would not discuss anything related to health, fitness, diet, or anything related with them. I would not point out their flaws or engage them in any way. If they commented on what I was eating or the way I look I'd smile, shake my head, and then disengage. Only if the person backed me into a corner would I take the offensive.
                          http://www.facebook.com/daemonized

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                          • #14
                            thanks everyone. pretty much where I stand. I can take constant ribbing about it, a couple friends do constantly, and it's fine and funny, I'm cool with that. It's more of taking shots, probably not meant to be mean...at least I would hope. I'll approach with caution, as I know they get sensitive about health topics, as I mentioned given their state. Just going to deflect, more than attack, with small jabs in...because....well I am just that way.

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                            • #15
                              My MIL asked me "so you don't eat bread now?" My response, as I know there is judgment ALL THE TIME... "I've always known I was allergic to wheat, and never really realized how crappy I was feeling 'cause I was eating it anyway. So, for the most part Nope, I don't eat bread now. But I'm sure every now and then, I'll have a little pc. with something amazing... I just have to let my tummy tell me what's up."

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