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  • It's sad how many women hate their bodies. I once overheard the neighbor girl looking at herself in the mirror at our house say "I hate my body", she couldn't have been more than 7 at the time. I couldn't believe my ears, makes you wonder when this type of thinking starts.
    Life is death. We all take turns. It's sacred to eat during our turn and be eaten when our turn is over. RichMahogany.

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    • Originally posted by Urban Forager View Post
      It's sad how many women hate their bodies. I once overheard the neighbor girl looking at herself in the mirror at our house say "I hate my body", she couldn't have been more than 7 at the time. I couldn't believe my ears, makes you wonder when this type of thinking starts.
      Definitely started that young for me.

      You also hear kids saying "I wish I was dead!" I mean, it's kind of funny cos' you think "What could they know about suffering?" but the thought is there, and for them, it's real.
      "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

      In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

      - Ray Peat

      Comment


      • Originally posted by namelesswonder View Post
        Yes, it's that shift from fear to "just checking." I kind of thought that I was okay with it, but now that I'm thinking of doing this, I have the urge to run over to the scale in the supply room "one last time." That's not a healthy attitude, in my mind, so I am cutting myself off. Unfortunately, I will still find out how much I weigh at my doctor's office, unless I don't look and ask them not to tell me (I worry that they might think I have some kind of disorder if I request this...but what does it matter?).



        I think it's all a personal battle in the end. People can say whatever they want, but you have to make the choice to make a change (seek help, accept help, try something new, etc.). It can take a long time before someone realizes that they were not ready to change.
        perhaps you can look at it like riding a bike with no hands or walking while never looking at your feet ( one of my personal demons)

        do it for the challenge of it...

        i went 3 whole days without looking

        you are smart enough to know that looking doesn't change anything in your life.

        it is a lot like masturbation... a bad habit, picked up under stress
        Optimum Health powered by Actualized Self-Knowledge.

        Predator not Prey
        Paleo Ketogenic Lifestyle

        CW 315 | SW 506
        Current Jeans 46 | Starting Jeans 66


        Contact me: quelsen@gmail.com

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        • Originally posted by YogaBare View Post
          Definitely started that young for me.

          You also hear kids saying "I wish I was dead!" I mean, it's kind of funny cos' you think "What could they know about suffering?" but the thought is there, and for them, it's real.
          I think that's a "sad how many people hate their bodies" thing, not exclusive to one gender, but yes. And that kind of drama is considered "normal" for a child, but I have known very well-behaved and adjusted children who would never say anything like that and would be upset to hear a friend say that. Mental illness is basically encouraged & taught (this may be over-simplifying it, I am hesitant to post this, but I feel that it's true) so that it becomes ingrained behaviors & actions, instead of "chemical imbalances". Maybe the actions cause the imbalance.

          Originally posted by quelsen View Post
          perhaps you can look at it like riding a bike with no hands or walking while never looking at your feet ( one of my personal demons)

          do it for the challenge of it...

          i went 3 whole days without looking

          you are smart enough to know that looking doesn't change anything in your life.

          it is a lot like masturbation... a bad habit, picked up under stress
          Not looking at my feet is a good one. I used to stare at the ground, it made me so uncomfortable to force myself to look up. Now I find it more natural to look up, but watching the ground is a good indicator on my comfort-level & mood.

          Knowing not to look at the scale makes it more tempting. I haven't felt that kind of fight against denying myself something in a while. I remember during a period of depression, my ex prevented me from eating anymore peanut butter cups. I got really mad at him and I knew it was stupid, but I wanted to fight him for those damn candies. I feel like I'm doing that with myself right now.
          Depression Lies

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          • Well, my name is GrayCat and I am a perfectionist. You see when I work, cook, clean my home, exercise when I do just about anything I strive for perfection. I really give it my all and expect some positive feedback given my effort. Do I manage to do everything perfect all the time? Hell no. That's just impossible.

            I think what Leida is feeling (and to some extent or another 99% of women) has some to do with striving and working hard to achieve something and not seeing exactly what we want to see. The results we expect and think we deserve to see. The upbringing and the environment at the time has a lot to do with out "neurosis" too. I have similar to Leida's background and I completely understand where she's coming from.
            99% of girls and young women were close to friggin perfect when I was growing up. Pretty, thin, well dressed and well put together. Although I have never in my life been obese or severely overweight, just chubby I never (until finally lost weight in high school) felt that I was fitting in.

            The way were we treated by our parents is also a factor. Thank goodness I was spared that kind of mental abuse. Love you mom and dad. I didn't get the same treatment from my peers, though.
            Thankfully I have come a very long way in accepting and loving myself and judging my self worth by many other qualities I posses, not by the size or the flabbiness of my tights. I still have my moments though.

            And I believe It's perfectly fine and plenty helpful to discuss our insecurities and being told to shut up because someone else has it much worse, doesn't help anyone.

            Comment


            • Originally posted by namelesswonder View Post
              I think that's a "sad how many people hate their bodies" thing, not exclusive to one gender, but yes. And that kind of drama is considered "normal" for a child, but I have known very well-behaved and adjusted children who would never say anything like that and would be upset to hear a friend say that. Mental illness is basically encouraged & taught (this may be over-simplifying it, I am hesitant to post this, but I feel that it's true) so that it becomes ingrained behaviors & actions, instead of "chemical imbalances". Maybe the actions cause the imbalance.



              Not looking at my feet is a good one. I used to stare at the ground, it made me so uncomfortable to force myself to look up. Now I find it more natural to look up, but watching the ground is a good indicator on my comfort-level & mood.

              Knowing not to look at the scale makes it more tempting. I haven't felt that kind of fight against denying myself something in a while. I remember during a period of depression, my ex prevented me from eating anymore peanut butter cups. I got really mad at him and I knew it was stupid, but I wanted to fight him for those damn candies. I feel like I'm doing that with myself right now.
              One more notch on your belt of accomplishments
              Optimum Health powered by Actualized Self-Knowledge.

              Predator not Prey
              Paleo Ketogenic Lifestyle

              CW 315 | SW 506
              Current Jeans 46 | Starting Jeans 66


              Contact me: quelsen@gmail.com

              Comment


              • 2) there is a difference between normal weight and an attractive body. Not the starved-thin body, but a body that shows fitness and vitality
                That's YOUR opinion and not a fact.

                http://maggiesfeast.wordpress.com/
                Check out my blog. Hope to share lots of great recipes and ideas!

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                • Originally posted by Leida View Post
                  2) there is a difference between normal weight and an attractive body. Not the starved-thin body, but a body that shows fitness and vitality
                  Originally posted by magnolia1973 View Post
                  That's YOUR opinion and not a fact.
                  I also think there's a difference between weight in general and attractiveness. Attractiveness is subjective. I've seen women and men who were "overweight" and were still amazingly sexy. It's more about how you carry yourself.


                  Originally posted by Graycat View Post
                  Well, my name is GrayCat and I am a perfectionist. You see when I work, cook, clean my home, exercise when I do just about anything I strive for perfection. I really give it my all and expect some positive feedback given my effort. Do I manage to do everything perfect all the time? Hell no. That's just impossible.

                  I think what Leida is feeling (and to some extent or another 99% of women) has some to do with striving and working hard to achieve something and not seeing exactly what we want to see. The results we expect and think we deserve to see. The upbringing and the environment at the time has a lot to do with out "neurosis" too. I have similar to Leida's background and I completely understand where she's coming from.
                  99% of girls and young women were close to friggin perfect when I was growing up. Pretty, thin, well dressed and well put together. Although I have never in my life been obese or severely overweight, just chubby I never (until finally lost weight in high school) felt that I was fitting in.

                  The way were we treated by our parents is also a factor. Thank goodness I was spared that kind of mental abuse. Love you mom and dad. I didn't get the same treatment from my peers, though.
                  Thankfully I have come a very long way in accepting and loving myself and judging my self worth by many other qualities I posses, not by the size or the flabbiness of my tights. I still have my moments though.

                  And I believe It's perfectly fine and plenty helpful to discuss our insecurities and being told to shut up because someone else has it much worse, doesn't help anyone.
                  <3
                  "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

                  In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

                  - Ray Peat

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by namelesswonder View Post
                    I think that's a "sad how many people hate their bodies" thing, not exclusive to one gender, but yes. And that kind of drama is considered "normal" for a child, but I have known very well-behaved and adjusted children who would never say anything like that and would be upset to hear a friend say that. Mental illness is basically encouraged & taught (this may be over-simplifying it, I am hesitant to post this, but I feel that it's true) so that it becomes ingrained behaviors & actions, instead of "chemical imbalances". Maybe the actions cause the imbalance.
                    That's a very interesting insight. I was one of the "wish I was dead" kids. I lol about it now, but guess what? The thoughts remain (less and less though).

                    Looking forward to hearing where you go with this theory!

                    Originally posted by namelesswonder View Post
                    I think YB is right, that is part of the point of the thread. I also think that just admitting there's something wrong doesn't mean you know how to fix it or that it's going to be quick/noticeable to other people. (This could be expanded on, I'm just not sure where else the thoughts are going.)

                    I think the best thing others can do is empathize, support in a healthy way, and try not to feed the demons. TBH, I try not to address anyone's particular neurosis (unless they're discussing treatment options and I have thoughts on that) because I don't want them to feel like that's all I see them for. I'm not my anxiety or depression, but treating those things is currently a big part of my identity.
                    MDA has helped me hugely, and it was mostly because of the people I witnessed being open and honest about their demons. We live in a culture where a certain number of personality "images" are acceptable. Deviate from these, and you get a hard time.
                    "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

                    In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

                    - Ray Peat

                    Comment


                    • I also think there's a difference between weight in general and attractiveness. Attractiveness is subjective. I've seen women and men who were "overweight" and were still amazingly sexy. It's more about how you carry yourself.
                      Yeah, as a "big girl" I get a little peaved when I hear skinny girls talking about how fat and ergo unattractive they are. Because, I dunno, I look in the mirror and think I look pretty good and well, my husband and his male friends agree, that I look good. I mean, hey skinny girl, you might well be unattractive, but it isn't the fat on your thighs, because I have some fat on mine, in fact, more than you and yet.... I am attractive.

                      So it seems dumb to starve yourself to get rid of shit that doesn't make you unattractive when the real solution is probably some shopping and maybe a haircut and a new lipstick.

                      http://maggiesfeast.wordpress.com/
                      Check out my blog. Hope to share lots of great recipes and ideas!

                      Comment


                      • I was one of those wish I was dead kids too. I still kinda wish that sometimes. The outward actions of self-destruction and incremental suicide have mostly disappeared, however. The fact that death is always an option remains a source of comfort for me.

                        Wow, I'm just a ray of sunshine today.

                        My journal

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                        • Originally posted by diene View Post
                          Wow, I'm just a ray of sunshine today.
                          Me too I guess.

                          Sincerely, I wish everyone good health and self acceptance.
                          Breathe. Move forward.

                          I just eat what I want...

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                          • As someone who had to deal with a suicide in an immediate family not even 2 months ago, I sincerely hope nobody considers it as a real option. It's a horrid experience for the survivors.
                            My Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread57916.html
                            When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.

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                            • Originally posted by sbhikes View Post
                              I don't weigh myself. I don't want to know the number since I am lifting weights. It might discourage me. I'd rather be discouraged by how puny weak I am and how sadly I powerclean.
                              This is me right now too, and I was a daily weigher for years (sometimes more than once a day!). But when I started weight lifting again a few weeks ago, I put the scale in the of the guest closet and haven't thought about it. I took my measurements, and will probably take them on a monthly basis from here on out. I have a doctor's appt. coming up and I'm actually going to request to NOT be weighed!

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                              • Everybody seemed to hate me when I was a kid. So I just stayed away from people for the most part. Rather than hate myself, I just hated everybody else. I like myself just fine. I walked from Mexico to Canada and one thing I never was was lonely.

                                I mostly go around feeling pretty good about my body. It's usually when I see myself in a mirror or photograph, that the reality hits me. Wow, I'm big. Then I have moments of feeling really bad about it.

                                I honestly don't know what to think about my body. I can feel my body and I know that it's mostly quite hard. But visually it looks very wide and fat, especially if you put me next to another person. I can feel the fat if I poke myself, but there isn't nearly as much of a layer of it as it appears when you look at me as a whole. This is why I think that I'm just a big-boned, built-like-a-truck, made-to-last kind of person. I do not think no matter how much weight loss I had that I could ever achieve what is considered ideal today. I would first shrink but be the same general proportions, then I would lose all my muscle before suddenly becoming emaciated. There would be no middle stage where I looked like the current standard of fit and beautiful. Rather than moan and groan about it, I just try to accept it.

                                It helps to hang around with people who have similar interests as you. People judge me by my hiking ability, or seem to, and rank themselves based on whether they measure up to me. That can be annoying sometimes because some people never stop whining about how they aren't as good as me (wtf does that even mean anyway), but at least it's better than being the worst person in the room anywhere I go because I only have ONE FREAKING METRIC--MY STUPID DRESS SIZE--to measure myself with. (Sheesh!) And with enough work, people can get better than me at hiking but by then they're not racing me anymore, they're just enjoying themselves.
                                Female, 5'3", 50, Max squat: 202.5lbs. Max deadlift: 225 x 3.

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