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I'm watching my father kill himself as we speak...

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  • #31
    Originally posted by eKatherine View Post
    With the assistance of my mother's doctor, she put my father on a fat free skim milk and whole grain diet, on the premise that an 80 year old man can never get down to target weight too fast. He lost over 100 pounds and his memory before dying from Parkinson's.

    Yeah, I blame them.
    I agree. Sorry you had to go through that.
    Durp.

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    • #32
      ^ These doctors really ought to be held accountable. Criminally bad advice.

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      • #33
        Originally posted by Neckhammer View Post
        Sorry to hear. It is sad to say, but family are just as receptive to lifestyle change as complete strangers. Change has to start within. It's like telling someone a hundred times to quit smoking when that person has no plans of stopping.
        Yep, I've kind of given up trying to help him. He's not a bad person in the least, but damn, he can be aggravating at times.
        "The cling and a clang is the metal in my head when I walk. I hear a sort of, this tinging noise - cling clang. The cling clang. So many things happen while walking. The metal in my head clangs and clings as I walk - freaks my balance out. So the natural thought is just clogged up. Totally clogged up. So we need to unplug these dams, and make the the natural flow... It sort of freaks me out. We need to unplug the dams. You cannot stop the natural flow of thought with a cling and a clang..."

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        • #34
          Originally posted by magnolia1973 View Post
          Take him to a nursing facility and introduce him to someone with diabetes living with an amputation, constant infection and so weakened that a feeding tube is required. Because eventually with diabetes, it starts killing you, even with meds. Miserable way to die. Watching my father go through these cycles and it's heartbreaking.
          Actually, he was talking about amputation tonight at dinner as though he had already decided that it was a forgone conclusion.
          "The cling and a clang is the metal in my head when I walk. I hear a sort of, this tinging noise - cling clang. The cling clang. So many things happen while walking. The metal in my head clangs and clings as I walk - freaks my balance out. So the natural thought is just clogged up. Totally clogged up. So we need to unplug these dams, and make the the natural flow... It sort of freaks me out. We need to unplug the dams. You cannot stop the natural flow of thought with a cling and a clang..."

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          • #35
            Originally posted by Cierra
            All's I can say is that you can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. That may sound pretty harsh, but it's the truth. How old is he, though? If he's old enough, and you have money to spare, maybe you can get a caretaker for him? I don't know your situation, exactly.
            Funny thing? His girlfriend is a caretaker for people with disabilities and dementia, ect. So he kind of has that already, although from what I've seen, she's a freakin' enabler more than anything. The nutrition aspect of this is not her strong point.
            "The cling and a clang is the metal in my head when I walk. I hear a sort of, this tinging noise - cling clang. The cling clang. So many things happen while walking. The metal in my head clangs and clings as I walk - freaks my balance out. So the natural thought is just clogged up. Totally clogged up. So we need to unplug these dams, and make the the natural flow... It sort of freaks me out. We need to unplug the dams. You cannot stop the natural flow of thought with a cling and a clang..."

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            • #36
              Oh, Drumroll. I'm so sorry you are going through this. My Dad just passed away last November at 87. He had high blood pressure for decades and borderline diabetes. Dad never really was a SAD eater, more like a health food CW eater. He bought the whole evil saturated fat thing hook, line, and sinker.

              It took getting taken to the ER with a massive attack of cellulitis in his legs and shooting neuropathy pains so bad he could barely hobble to get him to say to me, "Well, I think I am about ready to try that crazy diet of yours." Direct quote.

              I started cooking all his meals and cleaned out his pantry. Within days all the inflammation and pain were gone. Within a month we had his scary high BP down to 115/75 consistently and he was able to get off of 2 BP meds and the statins.

              He did really well for a while until the damage done on his heart by all those years of high BP caught up with him in the form of CHD. He threw a couple of clots and had some small strokes and it was downhill from there.

              I firmly believe that, had I gotten him Primal a few years earlier, he could have lived another ten years. His Mom made it to 98.

              Hugs. I know how hard it is to try to help where the help isn't wanted or understood.

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              • #37
                Thanks PB, your support means a lot. But as I said before... I can't help him unless he wants to be helped, so for now, my advice is staying put. Something has to change in his mind first before he'll be receptive enough to take it.
                "The cling and a clang is the metal in my head when I walk. I hear a sort of, this tinging noise - cling clang. The cling clang. So many things happen while walking. The metal in my head clangs and clings as I walk - freaks my balance out. So the natural thought is just clogged up. Totally clogged up. So we need to unplug these dams, and make the the natural flow... It sort of freaks me out. We need to unplug the dams. You cannot stop the natural flow of thought with a cling and a clang..."

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                • #38
                  Have you read this? Maybe you can take some solace in it.
                  Is the paleo diet hard to do? Can you make the change?
                  Female, 5'3", 50, Max squat: 202.5lbs. Max deadlift: 225 x 3.

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                  • #39
                    Originally posted by sbhikes View Post
                    Have you read this? Maybe you can take some solace in it.
                    Is the paleo diet hard to do? Can you make the change?
                    That's kind of the opinion I have already reached. I am here to help, but only if it is wanted. And it is not. So I can't really do much except let it happen. I am being the best example that I can be for him and if it still doesn't take, then it's on him and not me, that the last few years of his life were miserable.

                    I help people IF they WANT the help, not if they don't.
                    "The cling and a clang is the metal in my head when I walk. I hear a sort of, this tinging noise - cling clang. The cling clang. So many things happen while walking. The metal in my head clangs and clings as I walk - freaks my balance out. So the natural thought is just clogged up. Totally clogged up. So we need to unplug these dams, and make the the natural flow... It sort of freaks me out. We need to unplug the dams. You cannot stop the natural flow of thought with a cling and a clang..."

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                    • #40
                      The kicker is, it still is "on us" because we're their children and frequently, are the ones providing the care hands-on or financially during their later years.

                      I hate watching a parent give up. Seems oddly, utterly selfish but maybe I shouldn't judge. Like you said, maybe just be that best example. And find peace in that.

                      “you aren't what you eat - you are what you don't poop.” Wavy Gravy

                      Today I am Fillyjonk. Tommorow I will be Snufkin.

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                      • #41
                        Are you healthy and fit yourself? If not then you will not be in a position to do anything as you will have no credibility and already in the opposite end of the parent-child relationship.

                        Maybe you should read Boundaries by John Acuff, and no it isn't your place to tell others how to live if they aren't looking for advice, family of not.

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                        • #42
                          Originally posted by Techie View Post
                          Are you healthy and fit yourself? If not then you will not be in a position to do anything as you will have no credibility and already in the opposite end of the parent-child relationship.

                          Maybe you should read Boundaries by John Acuff, and no it isn't your place to tell others how to live if they aren't looking for advice, family of not.
                          I tend to think along these lines too. As hard and painful as it might be to watch someone doing something that you feel is bad for them. I always try to keep in mind that this whole Paleo way of eating might just turn out to be wrong. Five years from now we all might be wishing we never got involved with it. All of the promoters of this lifestyle are making money from it. As soon as there is money involved, there is a risk that the information being put forward will be slanted in one direction. Actually it's more than a risk, it's guaranteed. While I can't imagine why the highly adaptable human body can't do well eating lots of unprocessed foods and exercising a little every day, there could be problems with some of the Paleo recommendations. One of the scary things about many partaking in the Paleo lifestyle is the "magic pill" concept. Paleo is probably not the "end all" solution to all that ails us.
                          Some of you may die, but that is a risk I'm willing to take.

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                          • #43
                            My Grandfather grew up on a farm and they pretty much raised everything they ate when he was a kid. His whole life he ate meat, potatoes, vegetables and fruit with a little bread thrown in here and there. He would have the occasional piece of pie, cake or cookie but was pretty much what we call "primal". My aunt was a vegetarian for as long as I can remember and she would harass him endlessly about his diet just wanting to "help". He would always be polite but continued to eat pork chops, rib-eye and chicken and the fat and all. She would ride his ass every time she was around until she passed away in her late 60's. He lived over 10 after her passing and died at 96.
                            The point is while she thought she was trying to help and that her advice was 100% correct(as we all do) she was most likely dead wrong. I am sure she thought he was a stubborn old man and he was killing himself with his diet. I am sure she ranted to her friends about how her father was slowly killing himself with all of that saturated fat. I am sure he thought she was on some crazy diet and had no interest in what she had to say but he lived his life and let here live hers. Live and let live as they say.

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                            • #44
                              Hey, we're all killing ourselves one day at a time just by being alive.
                              You lousy kids! Get off my savannah!

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                              • #45
                                Only offer advice when it's desired. You can't help someone that doesn't even acknowledge a problem or is willing to put the effort in. It's like trying to get an overweight person to lose weight on your terms because you feel you see the answer that they don't; it's not your call and very unlikely anything you say will motivate them to do what you see as the clear path from the outside of their world. I think most people are very good at critiquing others but few are open to others steering them.
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                                “It does not take a majority to prevail, but rather an irate, tireless minority, keen on setting brushfires of freedom in the minds of men.” - Samuel Adams

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