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Girlfriend Desperately needs help

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  • Girlfriend Desperately needs help

    Hi everyone,

    I have posted on this before, but it's become a kind of problem since then. My girlfriend wants to loose weight. She has watched me transform over the last two months while I have been doing Paleo. She is desperate to see some of the same results, but has been on a very low carb Paleo regimen for 3 weeks and has seen nothing. Her weight fluctuates a lot during the day and can even go up during the night (I have no clue). Can someone explain to me what might make a woman's body not want to loose weight like this and how to troubleshoot? I just want to help her and I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing. The same things that work for me have no effect on her.

    Thanks

  • #2
    3 weeks is not a long time, and "low carb" doesn't tell us much about her diet.
    Can you give us some more details?

    Comment


    • #3
      Sure, she has been eating eggs and bacon (or turkey bacon) for breakfast, usually a chicken salad for lunch, and dinner is usually something on the meaty side. Her carbs consistently stay under 50 grams per day, and she has been limiting the fruit to get that down even further.

      She also works out about 3 times a week at the gym (weights and running).

      Anything else you need to know?

      Comment


      • #4
        does she need to lose weight? or just affect body recomp?

        she may not be eating enough, she may be eating too much, you're not giving many details.

        it's normal for weight to fluctuate during the day and from day-to-day. she should weigh herself in the morning and that's it.
        As I ate the oysters with their strong taste of the sea and their faint metallic taste that the cold white wine washed away, leaving only the sea taste and the succulent texture, and as I drank their cold liquid from each shell and washed it down with the crisp taste of the wine, I lost the empty feeling and began to be happy and to make plans.

        Ernest Hemingway

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Whitestone1550 View Post
          Sure, she has been eating eggs and bacon (or turkey bacon) for breakfast, usually a chicken salad for lunch, and dinner is usually something on the meaty side. Her carbs consistently stay under 50 grams per day, and she has been limiting the fruit to get that down even further.

          She also works out about 3 times a week at the gym (weights and running).
          .

          Anything else you need to know?
          Suspected problems bolded.

          Sounds like she's under eating and overtraining - really bad combination. My advice, get her to ditch the turkey bacon for some real stuff, quit the carb counting and eat fruit/sweet potato etc, especially if she's weight training and running. On that note, maybe ditch the running unless she really, genuinely enjoys it.

          Her diet sounds pretty high protein/low fat/ low carb - what are her stats? Age/Height/Weight, etc. These details would be useful.
          Dark chocolate and coffee, running through my veins...

          Fitocracy Workout Tracker:
          https://www.fitocracy.com/profile/Shadowknight137/?feed
          MFP Food Diary:
          http://www.myfitnesspal.com/food/diary/Shadowknight137
          (Date is New Zealand Time UTC+ 12hours)

          Comment


          • #6
            EDIT: Double post. Crap.
            Dark chocolate and coffee, running through my veins...

            Fitocracy Workout Tracker:
            https://www.fitocracy.com/profile/Shadowknight137/?feed
            MFP Food Diary:
            http://www.myfitnesspal.com/food/diary/Shadowknight137
            (Date is New Zealand Time UTC+ 12hours)

            Comment


            • #7
              She's 26, won't tell me her weight, but probably needs to loose around 25 lbs, about 5'5".

              "she may not be eating enough, she may be eating too much, you're not giving many details."

              She eats until she's full and I can promise that she doesn't overeat. What more would you like me to include? Just tell me and I'll throw it in there.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Whitestone1550 View Post
                She's 26, won't tell me her weight, but probably needs to loose around 25 lbs, about 5'5".
                Seriously??? Anyway, I repeat - does she actually have weight to lose? Or just a bit of a pooch? Her scale weight could be holding steady because she's building lean mass from exercise. Does she look different? Do her clothes fit differently? Any other non-scale measureable changes?

                ETA: Also, both of you stressing over her lack of progress on the scale is likely not helping. She needs to stop weighing herself daily, let alone multiple times a day. Best time for me, I've noticed, is to weigh myself once a month - right after my period, first thing in the morning after a non-workout day. Apart from that the weight fluctuates too much and it is impossible to gauge progress.
                Last edited by unchatenfrance; 04-02-2013, 05:30 PM.

                Comment


                • #9
                  seems to me she has the balance a bit wrong too high in protein and carbs, too low in fat

                  I would say eat more fat, slightly less protein but make it good stuff like grass fed beef, eggs, wild game and fish, and eat lots of green leafy vegetables also dressed with a little fat

                  this should get her burning fat nicely, remind her to drink water, get good sleep, some sunshine and some steady daily activity

                  use good fat like coconut, olive, grass fed butter to cook in

                  coconut oil is great if she is feeling in need of energy, medium chain SFAs provide insta energy

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Yes, She has actual weight to loose and she isn't seeing much difference on the scale or in her clothes.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      is breakfast 1 egg and 1 slice of bacon? is lunch 2 oz of chicken salad? or is she eating 3-4 eggs?

                      that kind of thing...

                      i lost 30 pounds on low-carb before going primal. it was slow -- took 6 months, but i am in my my 40s. however, my body got much "smaller" because the carb bloat and lots of fat were gone. no fruits, lots of leafy greens. high-fat, moderate protein.

                      As I ate the oysters with their strong taste of the sea and their faint metallic taste that the cold white wine washed away, leaving only the sea taste and the succulent texture, and as I drank their cold liquid from each shell and washed it down with the crisp taste of the wine, I lost the empty feeling and began to be happy and to make plans.

                      Ernest Hemingway

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I would strongly suggest that she track calories for a few days to see whether she's over- or under-eating, as well as to get a more accurate assessment of her macros. Does she move around a lot at a slow pace? I dropped 25 pounds in less than two months in my pre-Primal days by IFing (eating once a day) and kept them off for good. Have her give that a go one she dials into Primal a bit more fully.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I'd also take a look at sleep, medications, and stress. Weighing so often can lead us to some daffy conclusions.
                          37//6'3"/185

                          My peculiar nutrition glossary and shopping list

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            How long did it take to put that weight on? How long has she had it? She expects it to just fall off in three weeks?

                            Yes, it does happen that way for some people, but other people can go for weeks and not lose anything, then suddenly drop pounds in the span of a couple of days. It seems the body is busy doing some healing or repair or something, and once that is fixed, starts dropping weight. (I made that up, and have no idea if it is true, but it appears to be.)

                            Does she have objections to primal/paleo? It's not a quick fix, necessarily. Is there a reason she's in a rush?

                            From a male perspective, I feel like if she can't/won't tell you her weight, she's got some semi-serious body image issues going on that losing weight may not fix. Admitting the true extent of the problem is part of admitting the problem, and the first step in fixing it.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              First of all she needs to stop weighing herself so often, those daily fluctuations do your head in - speaking from experience! I weigh 2kg heavier at night than the morning, and even my morning weight fluctuates daily over 2-3kg. Best to weigh once a week, or even have a full month off. I am losing so slowly that I can't see it on the scales when weighing daily, or even weekly, and so I kept tweaking my diet and giving up because I *thought* nothing was happening, or I'd binge out of despair and frustration. But then I committed to a whole month without weighing, and after one month I had lost a kilo. This was a very small daily loss, and if I had been monitoring constantly I probably would have binged or given up.

                              If shyour girlfriend is really doing everything right that she can think of - i.e. not eating too much, low carb (if that's your poison) etc, I'd head to the doc. Thyroid issues, among other things, are more common than you'd believe. I gained 10-12kg, in spite of daily exercise and counting calories (eating less than 'maintenance' - according to calorie calculators), because of low thyroid. And I was SUPER motivated as I got married during this time also.

                              When I finally got onto a good doc she did lots of tests, including muscle reflexes, and determined that, as opposed to the 2000 calories needed to maintain that all the calculators estimated for me, my daily energy requirements were about 1400 or something ridiculous. I literally did not lose weight for over a year despite being very srtict with calories etc, and attempting all versions of primal (no eggs, no dairy, fasting, low carb etc) - it is only now that I am properly medicated that I am finally losing weight. So if it were me, I'd be heading to the doc.

                              Also, give her lots of support. Make sure she knows that you love her and are attracted to her no matter what size she is. This will help reduce her stress about her weight, which can also affect weight loss.

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