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Help for my husband

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  • Help for my husband

    This is also kind of a rant, because I don't really have anyone I can rant to about this sort of stuff, but... I need some ideas for Primal meals that my husband, who doesn't know how to cook (his words), can make for himself when I'm at work.

    I know I could be a good wife and make him a meal before I go to work and have it ready in the fridge for him to heat up, but I'm thinking of all the times that he snacks and eats crap. He is a horrible SAD eater. He will make for himself:

    Hamburger Helper (follows the recipe, I had to teach him how to brown ground beef)
    Campbell's split pea soup with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on white bread
    Frozen Pizza
    Frozen Chicken Bakes from Costco (basically a large hot pocket with chicken, bacon, cheese and ranch dressing combined inside of it)
    Frozen Burritos
    Cereal with milk
    McDonald's, Burger King, Taco Bell, etc
    Mountain Dew or Mr. Pibb or Dr. Pepper
    4 heaping teaspoons of sugar in his coffee with cream

    He purchases these things from the store because, and I quote, "That way I can make myself something to eat when you're at work." In the mean time, I'm buying meats, veggies, fruits, and other Primal stuff. All I can do is look at him in disgust... And feel like a horrible wife. I will tell him, "Why don't you just let me make you something for the day that you can just warm up" and he makes up excuses, ie, it's too much work for me, it's more convenient this way, etc. But I know it's his addiction to these nasty foods. So I feel like I need to teach him how to cook a juicy steak or make some chicken. He hates vegetables, but loves potatoes, both white and sweet.

    We're both only 36, we have a 14 month old son, and I am starting to feel like my husband is a lost cause. I know I can't force him, but I have to try to convert him over some how. And teach him to cook so he can make better choices. Any ideas?

    And thanks for letting me rant.

  • #2
    Sounds like he's not on board with Primal and until he is you can really only set an example and let your good health speak for itself.

    Also, stop saying you're not being a good wife because you don't fix a Primal meal for while you're away and somehow force him to eat it eventhough you aren't there. A grown man should be able to feed himself...when it comes to preparing the food or selecting healthy items.
    He'll come around when he's ready. None of this is on you.


    • #3
      Food is a very personal subject. Forcing anyone to eat a certain way will inevitably lead to them pushing back. I know I would push back if my wife suddenly decided that vegan was the way to go. Your best choice is to lead by example, and give information when prompted. When you're cooking, go Primal. Life is a journey, enjoy the ride, and don't stress over the little things.
      Some of you may die, but that is a risk I'm willing to take.


      • #4
        Cook extra when you cook and pack it into sectioned plates. If he doesn't want to eat them, use them yourself for lunch.


        • #5
          Thanks, all. You're right, I can't force him, or guilt him, or make him do any of it. Maybe when I've made really good progress with myself, it'll open his eyes and he'll see how well it works, and want to do it himself. I can only hope.


          • #6
            Originally posted by eKatherine View Post
            Cook extra when you cook and pack it into sectioned plates. If he doesn't want to eat them, use them yourself for lunch.
            Good idea. I already do cook extra for him, it's just that he eats it in conjunction with the other stuff. But at least he's getting a taste of what real food should be.


            • #7
              Bit late on the reply, typed it earlier but didn't post.
              Much the same as has already been said.
              Just do the right things for yourself and your daughter, have the hard discussions with him, but at the end of the day you have no control over his behaviours, and trying to be his mother won't do either of you any good.
              If you leave him be and just lead by example, then he might slowly come on board, when you cook he will be Primal, so eating healthy half the time is a vast improvement from eating unhealthy all the time.
              "There are no short cuts to enlightenment, the journey is the destination, you have to walk this path alone"


              • #8
                Originally posted by eKatherine View Post
                Cook extra when you cook and pack it into sectioned plates. If he doesn't want to eat them, use them yourself for lunch.
                I think this is the way to go. Once he comes to realise that your food is better (which may take a while, oddly enough), he is likely to start to take advantage of it because it is so easy for him. Meanwhile, nothing is wasted if he leaves it and you get to eat it yourself.

                Alternatively you could make a big batch of homemade versions of his favourites like the burritos, and have a week's worth waiting for him in the freezer, again making it easy for him to make a healthier choice.
                Last edited by Annieh; 03-22-2013, 06:37 PM.
                Annie Ups the Ante


                • #9
                  even though we don't live together i cook for my b/f and make enough stuff for him to have when i am not around. for example, there might there be meatballs and stuffed peppers and pulled pork in the freezer. i'll saute a pile of mushrooms and peppers for adding to scrambled eggs for breakfast. right now he's got deviled eggs, braised shortribs, an asian salad with broccoli and snow-peas and a bowl of roasted cabbage and carrots.

                  i know he had bologna sandwiches with his kid today, lol, but i'd say he's mostly 80/20 at this point. after me eating like this for 2+ years. lol. my improved health is unmistakable. so is his obstinacy. however, he's 53 and finally realizes he is no longer 40 as he gets softer around the middle and more easily tired.

                  don't make it a battle. just do your thing. junk food addictions are hard to kill and real food tastes very different. just exhale and be patient.
                  As I ate the oysters with their strong taste of the sea and their faint metallic taste that the cold white wine washed away, leaving only the sea taste and the succulent texture, and as I drank their cold liquid from each shell and washed it down with the crisp taste of the wine, I lost the empty feeling and began to be happy and to make plans.

                  Ernest Hemingway


                  • #10
                    Those are both great ideas. Maybe I could make primal version of his split pea soup, and make it so thick that he won't want to have a pbj sandwich along with it. Not sure how I could make primal burritos to store in the freezer without tortillas, though.


                    • #11
                      Constant humming

                      I converted my hubby who wasnt overweight or anything like that just by sticking with what I was doing. Every time I read a book I read it and gave it to him and he ended up with a stack on his bedside table...i emailed him ebooks articles links etc....sometimes I would be sitting beside him and Id look wht I just read....

                      Then he eventually shes really into this....maybe there is something in he started reading...skeptical at first....then he thought....well maybe there is something in this....and he started changing his eating and that was the beginning !!

                      So I say you keep doing what you are doing and be enthusiastic about it....say look at this article that book....and one day you will do something and you will be fitter than him....or a health issue will resolve etc.

                      You will win him just takes time.