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  • Stubborn or Smart?--vent :(

    So far, my family and friends have been very supportive of my going Primal. It's only been a little over 2 months, and I'm starting to get the "wow, you're WEEEEEEEEEEEIRD" treatment from a few.

    I'm sorry, but I lived on fast food for years. Not only do I know realize what's IN that food, I've over done it and am just plain sick of it. Eat nothing but garbage burgers for 3 years, then eat real food for 2 months and then see which one sounds better...

    I used to hate to cook or spend ANY time in the kitchen. Now, I love it. I find baking without grains or sugar to be a challenge and a super fun one, and I'm very proud of the fact I can make a kick-ass batch of cookies without using SAD stuff.

    People seemed to think it was a really great idea when I decided "I'm going to cut out grains and sugar and see how I feel". They were all proud of me and encouraging, and really REALLY happy to notice that my energy was up and I wasn't nearly the jerk I had been for awhile. I enjoy my food and don't need to snack (and I was a HUGE snacker). For two years I would sweat excessively (it could be 50 degrees and I was sweating bullets), I had to pee constantly, could NOT get enough water, and felt like death. Taking a shower was a challenge because I had to stand up for 10 minutes. Not so anymore. I don't snack. I don't feel like death. I drink a healthy amount of water and am not going to the bathroom every 30 minutes (no exaggeration). I was never tested or anything, but it honestly felt like CFS and pre-diabetes (or un-treated Type II). Oh, and I was TIRED. CONSTANTLY tired. By 1:00PM I could barely keep my eyes open, and days off were spent sleeping. Now, a nap is an occasional indulgence and is usually a time to lie still and just relax as opposed to falling into a deep sleep.

    So....if people notice these changes, and notice how much better I feel, and how I'm so much happier, and how I'm actually acting like a person my age should act (20's) vs. someone who's an 88 year old unhealthy shut in, why the sudden attitude of "well, you can't ignore grains for EVER"? If there had been no change in any of the above mentioned things, I can see their point. But my life has been slowly doing a 180 and I couldn't be more happy, and I'm actually a bit proud of the fact that I finally decided to take control of my health. Why is that considered "stubborn"? I just recently had a small argument with a family member because I do not want to have fast food for dinner tonight. It's not Orthorexia! It's not being stubborn!

    Sigh. I know a lot of people out there don't "get it", but I like my shopping cart full of meat and green stuff, not brown stuff that's going to make me feel like crap.

    Sorry...end rant. Just had to get that out there.

  • #2
    Hi, huge kudos to you for turning your life and health around.
    I don't understand the reaction you're getting but it's probably related to guilt on their part.
    Stick to your guns, you are doing great and you know it.
    Annie Ups the Ante
    http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread117711.html

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    • #3
      I know what you are saying. So many of us have similar reactions, and some unfortunately never receive the unconditional support of family and friends or significant other. It's quite common for friends to ask me how long it will be before I resume eating grains and sugar again. I always reply with, "you couldn't pay me enough to go back to eating that way".....I feel waaay fantastic being primal and you can't put a price on that.
      ----------------------------------------
      F, 48, 5'10"
      Start Date: 25-06-12 @ 161lbs
      Goal Reached: 30-09-12 @ 143lb. Now bouncing between 145lb - 149lb. I'd like less bounce and more consistency :-)

      Started Cross Fit 20.12.12 ---- Can't wait to submit my success story on the 1st anniversary of starting primal.

      Comment


      • #4
        What Annie said. Jealousy & guilt. Just remind them "it's working for me. Everyone has to do what works for them."

        My mom thinks we eat crazy food, but my step dad is like "You're awesome!". Since when has meat & veggies been weird?
        --Trish (Bork)
        TROPICAL TRADITIONS REFERRAL # 7625207
        http://pregnantdiabetic.blogspot.com
        FOOD PORN BLOG! http://theprimaljunkfoodie.blogspot.com

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        • #5
          The interesting thing is, people will say "You must have amazing willpower". Well, for the first week or two, yeah. I had to learn what to eat. I had to learn how to grocery shop. I had to learn what I liked, didn't like, and how to prepare all this stuff. The sugar crash sucked. The times I've tasted something with sugar in it was like a slap in the face, TOO sweet. I don't crave it anymore. I recently made a post about having cravings for peanut butter, and even that is starting to subside. But anymore, it has very little to do with willpower, because having willpower means you resist temptation. I don't find a lot of this stuff tempting anymore. My only other idea (hehe) was to say that I've been eating grains again and feel like death and see what others have to say

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Louisa655 View Post
            So many of us have similar reactions, and some unfortunately never receive the unconditional support of family and friends or significant other. It's quite common for friends to ask me how long it will be before I resume eating grains and sugar again.
            That's me and my family. They actually spent such a large portion of this Thanksgiving mocking me about my "diet" that I am consideting not even attending next year. They are driving me away with their uncalled for mocking. Way to go for making family members not feel welcome you guys, great job.
            "The cling and a clang is the metal in my head when I walk. I hear a sort of, this tinging noise - cling clang. The cling clang. So many things happen while walking. The metal in my head clangs and clings as I walk - freaks my balance out. So the natural thought is just clogged up. Totally clogged up. So we need to unplug these dams, and make the the natural flow... It sort of freaks me out. We need to unplug the dams. You cannot stop the natural flow of thought with a cling and a clang..."

            Comment


            • #7
              I think I drove my family crazy in the beginning but now they are more accepting and ask what I will and will not eat before going for dinner... This year I was lenient and said I'd eat store-bought turkey and not make them make a side of salmon...but next year I return to my salmon request---horrible day-after-Thanksgiving recovery!

              Just keep on doing what makes you feel best...ignore the rest as much as possible!
              Check out my blog on nature and nurture!
              http://thewoodsygal.com/

              Comment


              • #8
                Grains, dairy and other non-paleo foods make me feel like crap. Why the hell would I go back to those foods? No one argues with that.

                If they still argue, do your best to ignore them and focus on all the great things you are currently doing for your health.

                Does "stubborn" have to necessarily mean a bag thing?

                No one argues with someone who is allergic to say, strawberries, because they will feel like crap if they consume it right? So why would they argue with you? Also, wouldn't you say that the person that avoids strawberries because of their allergy to them is stubborn? That's not a bad thing right?

                Hang in there, not everyone will understand.
                Last edited by JoPaleo; 11-24-2012, 02:21 PM.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by JoPaleo View Post
                  Grains, dairy and other non-paleo foods make me feel like crap. Why the hell would I go back to those foods? No one argues with that.
                  Uh, my father has told me multiple times a day since I came to visit him that "Gluten only harms full-on celiacs. You are a silly fool to worry. I will not have cavemen in my house."

                  So, uh... I never tried to convince him beyond telling him how I feel about it for my own personal needs and he STILL won't lay off. Some people really ARE that insensitive about it.

                  This is why I'm not even sure I want to join him for Thanksgiving next year. It has been as mentally taxing on me as it hass physically.
                  "The cling and a clang is the metal in my head when I walk. I hear a sort of, this tinging noise - cling clang. The cling clang. So many things happen while walking. The metal in my head clangs and clings as I walk - freaks my balance out. So the natural thought is just clogged up. Totally clogged up. So we need to unplug these dams, and make the the natural flow... It sort of freaks me out. We need to unplug the dams. You cannot stop the natural flow of thought with a cling and a clang..."

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Drumroll View Post
                    Uh, my father has told me multiple times a day since I came to visit him that "Gluten only harms full-on celiacs. You are a silly fool to worry. I will not have cavemen in my house."

                    So, uh... I never tried to convince him beyond telling him how I feel about it for my own personal needs and he STILL won't lay off. Some people really ARE that insensitive about it.

                    This is why I'm not even sure I want to join him for Thanksgiving next year. It has been as mentally taxing on me as it hass physically.
                    Dear Drumroll: I HEAR your stress. It all comes down to 2 types of individuals: High EQ and low EQ. EQ is an acronym that stands for Emotional Quotient. And that that really means is: What is your ability to put yourself in the shoes of another and feel what they are feeling.

                    This family person has a very low EQ score -- and sadly, we cannot choose our family but we can choose to surround ourselves with positive, like-minded individuals who 'get us' on a daily basis. Once we have established a very positive base of friends, then we can begin to spend time with the others who don't get us and eventually their affect on us begins to dim like a lightbulb on a dimmer switch. :-)

                    In the meantime, try using this approach: When someone challenges your lifestyle choices, rather than trying to convince them of your knowledge -- turn the tables on them by asking them questions. Ask them what the benefits of their lifestyle is. Answer only with very abbreviated replies: "Oh, that's interesting". "Interesting". "Umm, I hadn't considered that". "Interesting, please tell me more". The result is that the person becomes so exhausted in in spewing their knowledge, that they eventually shut the hell up.

                    This is the best way to handle those types of people. I like to think of the acronym: WAIT -- which stands for "Why Am I Talking?" Use this acronym when the world is trying to challenge you on your beliefs.

                    The bottom line is that it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. What matters and what is real is how you feel, how you behave, what you believe in and hold tight to those truths. Thankfully Mark Sisson has built a wonderful vehicle for those of like-minds, to share ideas, beliefs and ideology.

                    Enjoy --- /Lu
                    ----------------------------------------
                    F, 48, 5'10"
                    Start Date: 25-06-12 @ 161lbs
                    Goal Reached: 30-09-12 @ 143lb. Now bouncing between 145lb - 149lb. I'd like less bounce and more consistency :-)

                    Started Cross Fit 20.12.12 ---- Can't wait to submit my success story on the 1st anniversary of starting primal.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Drumroll View Post
                      Uh, my father has told me multiple times a day since I came to visit him that "Gluten only harms full-on celiacs. You are a silly fool to worry. I will not have cavemen in my house."

                      So, uh... I never tried to convince him beyond telling him how I feel about it for my own personal needs and he STILL won't lay off. Some people really ARE that insensitive about it.

                      This is why I'm not even sure I want to join him for Thanksgiving next year. It has been as mentally taxing on me as it hass physically.
                      That is so harsh and I'm very sorry to hear. So tough when someone says you are feeling fine yet they can't even feel what you're feeling. So irrational. You're right, he's not going to lay off. I'm sure I don't have to tell you it's his issue and not yours. Hang in there Drumroll. If not joining him for Thanksgiving next will help, then it's a good plan. You know we are here to support and hope you can find a support group in your area.

                      ....And what Louisa655 said.
                      Last edited by JoPaleo; 11-24-2012, 05:06 PM.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I equate it to lactose intolerance. Some lactose-intolerant people can have milk but only up to a certain limit.
                        Similarly, I have slight reaction to gluten (acid reflux), but only if I have a lot of it. So at office parties, I can get away with a square inch of cake or one donut hole and then explain that's all I'm allowed... but oh how it tastes so good. (and actually it does kinda taste good). This tack has worked well with everybody.

                        solstice, why not bring your own salmon dish to Thanksgiving next year? Then you can avoid the turkey without making demands on or burdening your family... and they can have some salmon too!
                        5'0" female, 45 years old. Started Primal October 31, 2011, at a skinny fat 111.5 lbs. Low weight: 99.5 lb on a fast. Gained back to 115(!) on SAD chocolate, potato chips, and stress. Currently 111.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Thanks for the support guys. My father is an extremely smart and well-educated man, but he is very set in his ways. No changing his mind about ANYTHING. I knew that going into this and I wasn't trying to do that. I was only rying to give him my own n=1 which I now realize even THAT was a mistake. Sadly. If your ways don't conform to his you MUST be doing something wrong.

                          My mother, even though she's across the country hasn't been much better. And neither have my friends. Ugh. Sometimes I feel so alone on my journey, but then I come here to the forum and I see all you guys and I realize this logic hasn't gone ENTIRELY in one ear and out the other.

                          I wish I has more of a supportive personal network though. I am surrounded by folks who try to sabatage me at every turn it seems like.
                          "The cling and a clang is the metal in my head when I walk. I hear a sort of, this tinging noise - cling clang. The cling clang. So many things happen while walking. The metal in my head clangs and clings as I walk - freaks my balance out. So the natural thought is just clogged up. Totally clogged up. So we need to unplug these dams, and make the the natural flow... It sort of freaks me out. We need to unplug the dams. You cannot stop the natural flow of thought with a cling and a clang..."

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            unless you're underage and your parents still pay for your food, it honestly shouldn't make any difference what people say about what you eat. freedom of choice and whatnot.
                            Make America Great Again

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Derpamix View Post
                              unless you're underage and your parents still pay for your food, it honestly shouldn't make any difference what people say about what you eat. freedom of choice and whatnot.
                              This is true, but even so, it's nice to have some support sometimes and not have to do EVERYTHING alone. Surely even you can admit that much.
                              "The cling and a clang is the metal in my head when I walk. I hear a sort of, this tinging noise - cling clang. The cling clang. So many things happen while walking. The metal in my head clangs and clings as I walk - freaks my balance out. So the natural thought is just clogged up. Totally clogged up. So we need to unplug these dams, and make the the natural flow... It sort of freaks me out. We need to unplug the dams. You cannot stop the natural flow of thought with a cling and a clang..."

                              Comment

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