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  • Getting my kids off the junk and getting the fiance on board

    Ok so the fiance will be my husband on Friday but whatever....

    I have one son who has always been a picky eater. He is 14. He lived with his dad for 2 years. His father eats garbage for the most part. Now all this kid eats is chicken nuggets, chicken, a little bacon or ham occasionally (he used to be a vegetarian because of sensory issues), corn, cucumbers, pizza, chips, pancakes, bread, peanut butter, fries, fruit, yogurt, granola bars, cereal, candy, plain pasta, plain rice, and milk.

    My other two kids spent the summer with their father and his girlfriend. He knows how to eat right and was even primal with me shortly before we broke up. He knows how well we felt and the kids felt and acted. Being on a low budget they ate tons of garbage all summer. Jail House burritos was especially popular. If you don't know what they are look it up and you will VOMIT. All they want to eat is chips and soda.

    My fiance is an old fashioned farmer. He really eats pretty well for someone who only knows SAD CW stuff about food and believes you need grains to live. He has AMAZING will power when it ccomes to food. He drinks water and milk only. Occasionally, I would say once a week he will have a juice or a rootbeer. If he has a rootbeer that day he will not eat any sort of dessert. But he is stuck thinking you must have grains to live and he freaks when I use a ton of butter, coconut oil, or lard to cook something.

    I really would like to just stop buying the grains and crap but I am afraid of an uprising. Especially picky son #1. Would you just stop buying the garbage and not make a big deal out of it. My younger two kids KNOW they felt better when they ate better. My daughter was so happy her eczema cleared up a lot. They both slimmed down. My son who was only 7 at the time knew he slept better and felt calm. I just fear son #1 will starve himself and my fiance will divorce me before we even get through a month of marriage. If anyone has a blog on the topic I would love a link!

  • #2
    Can you work on food quality first? Homemade nuggets with gluten-free "breading", grain-free "granola" bars, grain-free pancakes, a different nut butter (instead of peanut), good quality yogurt with honey for sweetener (slowly reduce the sweetener) etc. It will be more effort on your part,

    Does your fiance know that your family fared better on that way of eating? If they know they felt better, could they make the choice to eat Primal if you had Primal and non-Primal offerings on the table (keeping the pasta separate from the sauce, with spaghetti squash for non-grain eaters, for example)?
    Depression Lies

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    • #3
      That is what I have been trying to do but the kids will just load up on the grains and stuff because they are there. They are old enough to know better but apparently not old enough to say no to the grainy stuff.

      Of course this week is not the week to do it. Our wedding is Friday and we are having an all dessert wedding reception. I am having some grain/gluten free items but not many 80-20 right!

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      • #4
        It's your wedding! Do what you have to in order to enjoy it
        Depression Lies

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        • #5
          Can't eat crap if you don't keep it in the house. Stock up on lots of meat, nuts, chocolate, cheese, I know it's not primal but they'll probably revolt if they don't have some candy.
          F 28/5'4/100 lbs

          "I'm not a psychopath, I'm a high-functioning sociopath; do your research."

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          • #6
            Rule 1 in our household is "I can't hear whining". Whenever my kids whine at me about something that's the response. You'd be surprised how well that works. That said, I see a whole lot of decent things that your first son eats. I bolded the ones that we have in our household:

            Originally posted by PrimalPumpkin View Post
            Ok so the fiance will be my husband on Friday but whatever....

            I have one son who has always been a picky eater. He is 14. He lived with his dad for 2 years. His father eats garbage for the most part. Now all this kid eats is chicken nuggets, chicken, a little bacon or ham occasionally (he used to be a vegetarian because of sensory issues), corn, cucumbers, pizza, chips, pancakes, bread, peanut butter, fries, fruit, yogurt, granola bars, cereal, candy, plain pasta, plain rice, and milk.

            I really would like to just stop buying the grains and crap but I am afraid of an uprising. Especially picky son #1. Would you just stop buying the garbage and not make a big deal out of it. My younger two kids KNOW they felt better when they ate better. My daughter was so happy her eczema cleared up a lot. They both slimmed down. My son who was only 7 at the time knew he slept better and felt calm. I just fear son #1 will starve himself and my fiance will divorce me before we even get through a month of marriage. If anyone has a blog on the topic I would love a link!
            When we first went primal we went all the way with the kids as well, and faced a rebellion about breakfast. We decided in the end that it's better to lose the battle and win the war. So one kid gets a choice of cornflakes or ricies (not anything that is high in sugar) and the other gets to eat porridge every day.

            Everything else is stealthily primal, with the only remaining battleground being having pizza and bread. We don't have them at home, but if we're eating out we don't make a big deal about it.
            Disclaimer: I eat 'meat and vegetables' ala Primal, although I don't agree with the carb curve. I like Perfect Health Diet and WAPF Lactofermentation a lot.

            Griff's cholesterol primer
            5,000 Cal Fat <> 5,000 Cal Carbs
            Winterbike: What I eat every day is what other people eat to treat themselves.
            TQP: I find for me that nutrition is much more important than what I do in the gym.
            bloodorchid is always right

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            • #7
              I am absolutely 200000% horrified by the definition of "jailhouse burrito" I read on urbandictionary.com and pray that no one is letting children actually eat this. D:
              yay!

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              • #8
                I'm not a parent, but I do have two younger siblings who eat crap. I've worked with them to try some primal foods.

                At first they were very skeptical, but as they saw me eating healthy they became more interested. I actually really hooked them on it when I made them Mark's primal banana almond pancakes. They were in disbelief that these pancakes they were eating were made out of bananas and eggs yet tasted better than normal pancakes.

                I would maybe try just giving them some stuff that is on the edge of primal and then easing them into stricter primal foods. For example, my siblings had a touch of regular syrup on the pancakes, but it got their attention.
                @JordanTuwiner | JordanTuwiner.com

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                • #9
                  Cook delicious primal meals. Eat them. Enjoy them. Don't shove them down unwilling throats. Let Mr. Sulky eat a granola bar while everyone else eats like kings. The best thing you can do is lead by example. For many years I ate just like your eldest son. I ignored advice I was given to eat better. I was fighting a losing battle with depression and anxiety, though, and the first therapist I went to said, ok, first of all, you need to work on your diet. Realizing the food-mood connection was what did it for me. Suddenly this french fry fiend was shoveling down 2 big salads a day. After I opened my mind to new things (wait...broccoli is actually GOOD?!) I realized eating right didn't even have to be a taste sacrifice. Sure, I have to walk away from the 3 Musketeers bars now, but I made some organic chicken wings this a.m. using this recipe though I used coconut oil instead of olive oil and added some grated romano cheese and I would like to see ANYBODY, no matter how picky, walk away from a plate of these bad boys. I'm a changed woman. Your kids are lucky to have your healthy influence, but if you push anything too hard, you will cause rebellion. You don't want your eldest to associate eating junk with rebelling against you, because God knows teens love to rebel against their moms... Give them time to come around. It sounds like you've cultivated really good healthy instincts in the younger ones. Taste buds have a lifespan of 8 days (I learned this on Jeopardy) so given a little time, the memory of Jailhouse burritos will be history...all they'll recall is how they had no energy 1 hour afterwards and they'll never want to eat refined carbohydrates again...well, we can only hope...

                  As for the fiance, I wouldn't push him too hard. Steer him towards some literature about the health of fat vs. carbs... I find this article sums it up nicely, in layman's terms...

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                  • #10
                    Perhaps your husband (fiance) would prefer to read the information in a book. Order Mark's book The Primal Blueprint and ask your husband if he would like to take a look at it. Tell him you would like his opinion on it, and then don't nag him about any of the primal information. That's what I did with my husband. He would rather read a book than a blog. Besides it is much easier to absorb the information and flip back and re-read sections. My husband calls Mark 'that caveman guy' but he at least has some understanding of what I am doing, and as long as the food I cook tastes good, he'll eat it. If he wants to eat grain crackers, or cereal, that's up to him. I don't buy bread-- we both realize our bodies have problems with carbs. He'll eat bread at restaurants though. I don't say anything. His diet is up to him.

                    As for the kids -- that's a tough one. My kids are grown and gone, although I gave my son Mark's book and he loved it. He's cooking primal for himself, walking, lifting heavy things, and is healthier than he's been in a long time. For younger kids though, until your husband is on board, you'll just have to make good tasting primal food, and keep offering it. Even before I was primal, I cooked many things from scratch with healthy ingredients (although we were still eating grains). At the time, my kids were so picky if you named a food I would be able to tell you which member of the family wouldn't eat it! Now that they are grown they eat so many more foods AND some of the healthy stuff I cooked that they wouldn't eat years ago, they now cook for themselves because it reminds them of home and growing up and they eat it (SHOCK)! Anyway -- just wanted to give you some hope. Set a good example and fix healthy food for yourself, while you may have to continue to cook their food, keep the nagging to a minimum and after a few months you may be surprised at how much healthier your family meals will become!
                    Ruth

                    See my journal, The Balancing Act: Integrating Primal into My Life, for menu plans, musings, and more.

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                    • #11
                      In my experience you can't convince people who don't want to eat fatty meats to eat them. You can't convince people who think grains are god's gift to health not to eat them. You are going to have to simply do the best you can. Make sure the kids and husband get the healthiest grain-rich foods possible. Draw the line at outright junk food.

                      Meanwhile, make a separate version of dinner for yourself. When I make spaghetti sauce, mine goes on a sweet potato or on top of a hamburger patty and his goes on top of pasta. When we have Indian food I take a little bit of lentils and rice and as much of the chicken tikka as I possibly can get away with. I'll make myself a nice rare grass-fed steak and serve him Trader Joe's frozen tamales. He's actually happy about that (need that boggle smiley here). When we have burritos I put mine in a bowl without the tortilla. If anything, the burrito bowls have kinda opened the door to grain-free dinners. I can serve burrito bowls any time and he doesn't mind if there's no tortilla.
                      Female, 5'3", 50, Max squat: 202.5lbs. Max deadlift: 225 x 3.

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                      • #12
                        My philosophy is to make eating well both yummy and easier than doing anything else.

                        There's a fruit bowl on my table, because lazy people looking for something to munch on should have apples, pears and oranges around - nothing stopping anyone from driving to the convenience store and buying chips or a candy bar except their own laziness. Or when I buy melons in summer, I cut them up right away, again to address laziness; food that is ready to eat gets eaten.

                        I cook real food and hubby has flatout told me he skipped McD's because he knew I was making a beef stew that night.

                        I pack him a lunch with a wrap (meat and gobs of veggies) or hot leftovers in a thermos (stew or chili or such), cut fruit, cut veggies and "something else" (often a baked good, but my baked goods contain fruit or veggies and about half the "normal" amount of sugar).

                        Tastes change over time, and some of us can't eat doughnuts anymore cause they're "too sweet." He says I ruined doughnuts. Good for me!

                        There are compromises, true. I boil potatoes in bone broth to add to his stew, so I can leave it out of mine. Or I cut up real potatoes and fry in coconut oil when he really wants poutin. I make homemade chocolate syrup (cocoa, water, vanilla and stevia) for him to make chocolate milk (and it's raw milk cause that's what I buy).

                        I can't MAKE anyone eat what I want them to. Really, you can't even with children, let alone other adults.

                        I CAN make it easier and more pleasant to do what I prefer. There is always pasta and rice in the house, even boxed mac and cheese. I just don't cook them, so they don't get eaten much. Laziness is my friend.

                        I am VERY manipulative about food. And I don't even do it covertly, I SAY that I'm doing it. It still works!

                        The book idea MIGHT work, if he has any interest in nutrition. Mine would be unlikely to read a book like that though. However, when he saw Food, Inc. it made a BIG impression; he "got" that processed food is bad all on his own and LOOKS for HFCS in processed crap now, even if I'm not there. He doesn't remember why it's bad, just remembers he was convinced.
                        Last edited by jpatti; 10-09-2012, 09:47 PM.

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by jpatti View Post
                          My philosophy is to make eating well both yummy and easier than doing anything else.

                          There's a fruit bowl on my table, because lazy people looking for something to munch on should have apples, pears and oranges around - nothing stopping anyone from driving to the convenience store and buying chips or a candy bar except their own laziness. Or when I buy melons in summer, I cut them up right away, again to address laziness; food that is ready to eat gets eaten.

                          I cook real food and hubby has flatout told me he skipped McD's because he knew I was making a beef stew that night.

                          I pack him a lunch with a wrap (meat and gobs of veggies) or hot leftovers in a thermos (stew or chili or such), cut fruit, cut veggies and "something else" (often a baked good, but my baked goods contain fruit or veggies and about half the "normal" amount of sugar).

                          Tastes change over time, and some of us can't eat doughnuts anymore cause they're "too sweet." He says I ruined doughnuts. Good for me!

                          There are compromises, true. I boil potatoes in bone broth to add to his stew, so I can leave it out of mine. Or I cut up real potatoes and fry in coconut oil when he really wants poutin. I make homemade chocolate syrup (cocoa, water, vanilla and stevia) for him to make chocolate milk (and it's raw milk cause that's what I buy).

                          I can't MAKE anyone eat what I want them to. Really, you can't even with children, let alone other adults.

                          I CAN make it easier and more pleasant to do what I prefer. There is always pasta and rice in the house, even boxed mac and cheese. I just don't cook them, so they don't get eaten much. Laziness is my friend.

                          I am VERY manipulative about food. And I don't even do it covertly, I SAY that I'm doing it. It still works!

                          The book idea MIGHT work, if he has any interest in nutrition. Mine would be unlikely to read a book like that though. However, when he saw Food, Inc. it made a BIG impression; he "got" that processed food is bad all on his own and LOOKS for HFCS in processed crap now, even if I'm not there. He doesn't remember why it's bad, just remembers he was convinced.
                          jpatti, these are Marvellous Strategies. I love that you tell them you are manipulating their food, haha. That's so funny and I can't believe it works.

                          Making the packed lunches for my dh works for me too. As does preparing my daughter's weekend breakfast or afterschool snack. Sure I could leave them to do their own, but it's more important to me that I give them the best quality food, and they get to feel spoilt so we're all happy.
                          Annie Ups the Ante
                          http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread117711.html

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                          • #14
                            Whoever buys the groceries and cooks the food is in charge. Period. Who would that be in your house?

                            My kids would eat cookies and Froot Loops and potato chips and pie every day if it was in the house. Guess what? They can't, so they don't. Instead of insisting that the rest of my family be Primal, I focus on encouraging them to eat clean and unprocessed.

                            It is not that complicated....don't buy the foods you don't want them to eat. Keep the foods on hand that you want them to choose from. And I don't recommend making "healthy" versions of their favorite crap food...make tasty REAL food instead. Roasted chicken drumsticks taste way better than frozen nuggets.
                            Sandra
                            *My obligatory intro

                            There are no cheat days. There are days when you eat primal and days you don't. As soon as you label a day a cheat day, you're on a diet. Don't be on a diet. ~~ Fernaldo

                            DAINTY CAN KISS MY PRIMAL BACKSIDE. ~~ Crabcakes

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                            • #15
                              Kids eat what you allow them to eat. You and your ex- unfortunately just gave in whenever he said "I'm not eating that."

                              Serve a normal, healthy dinner. If they don't want to eat it, that's fine, but they go to bed hungry. That won't happen too many times before they are willing to at least try what's on their plate.
                              ----------
                              Primal since August 2012. CW: 317.

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