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  • My sister-in-law's diet...

    I'm not even sure what the point of this post is, other than that I think I'm going to start screaming and knocking her food out of her hands at some point if I don't let out some of my frustration.

    So my sister in law moved in with my husband and I about 3 months ago. It's been awkward for numerous reasons, but one of the things that makes me the craziest of all is watching her eat. First off, she's extremely overweight. Second, she's strangely picky when it comes to her food - it has to look appetizing? I think is how she explained it to me once when we took her out to a Korean/Japanese restaurant and she didn't want to eat her noodles (SO GOOD) because they had pieces of strange looking vegetables in them (that could have easily been avoided). Except that this seems like complete BS because she'll eat veggie meat out of a can, and I'm pretty sure we all know what THAT looks like (dog food). It's seems like a convenient excuse for when she doesn't want to try something.

    A typical day's food for her:

    Breakfast: 1-2 bowls of some type of sugar cereal with almond milk
    Lunch: Pizza from grocery store (small), maybe some fake breaded chicken, OR brown rice with soy sauce
    Dinner: Veggie meat, maybe some beans from a can, MAYBE a couple pieces of lettuce or cut up peppers (some take on a taco salad), mashed potatoes with margarine (plastic, anyone?)

    Taco bell is a frequent stop for her; same with the local sandwich shop (veggie meat on a baguette with ranch).

    Let me just say, she's a very sweet girl who happens to be extremely conservative (Adventist). To her, not eating meat is religiously motivated as well as that she probably thinks it's gross. She prays over all her meals and I.just.can't.take.it. Thanks for this processed, GMO, sugar-filled inflammation bowl, and please help it nourish and strengthen my body???

    Now I have a ways to go myself - I've been overweight my whole life, but I'm feeling better than ever eating primally. I've dropped 6 pounds in 3 weeks, but I don't think anything besides DRASTIC results (which is what I'm going for) is going to lend support to anything I'd try and say to her. Plus the whole idea that primal eating is based on evolution is something else that would cause her to believe it has no merit (because the world is only 6,000 years old in her belief system).

    Anyway, this is mostly me venting and not having a real good idea of how to help her, at least until I can make some major progress of my own.

    And for everyone's reading pleasure, here is the contents of her side of the cupboard!
    Canned veggie meat
    Canned beans
    Canned corn
    Canned green beans
    Extra butter microwave popcorn
    Spaghetti
    Cookies
    Soy sauce
    Ramen noodles
    Canned peaches
    Saltine crackers
    Tortilla chips
    Quick oats

    Any ideas/constructive suggestions would be happily received, or just feel free to vent about your OWN instances of encounters with horrific diets if you feel the need. Getting this out has made me feel slightly better, actually.

  • #2
    I think you should just eat your primal food with an air of superiority while she watches you shrink. Maybe comment that her fake meat doesn't look very appetizing.

    Then again, I'm a total bitch. YMMV.

    Comment


    • #3
      I am just stuck on the 'veggie meat'. I am happy to have absolutely no knowledge of what 'veggie meat' is. Perhaps is there a middle ground? Start small, like "we all love fresh steamed green beans" and work gradually over to more diversity.

      However, if she has this pattern of avoiding foods based on appearance, thought, etc, only she will be able to change her perspective.

      Comment


      • #4
        How about just offering her every type of good vegetable and fruit dish you make for yourself, and letting the rest slide? You can't change other people's minds or hearts for them. In stressful times, people cling to what comforts them, and though you didn't say why she moved in with you, the possibilities(job loss, problems at home, etc) suggest stress, and then there's just the stress of being around her brother and sister-in-law in a new situation, 24/7. Use some of your new-found primal calm to be gentle with her. That's the best kind of superiority.

        Comment


        • #5
          In the Bible people certainly ate meat. And while I don't believe in evolution, either, I do believe God made our bodies to function on real foods that people have eaten forever. People even 150 years ago did not have veggie meat, sugared cereals or chemical preservatives. Have her read the work of Weston A Price who wasn't against freshly ground naturally organic grains, but showed primitive cultures all around the world were healthiest when their diet contained meat, eggs, often raw dairy and fish. Fresh vegetables were usually also an important part of their diets. There is no traditional culture that was vegetarian.

          Comment


          • #6
            What struck me was the bit about knowing what veggie meat looks like in a can. I felt good as I read that in that I have no idea what veggie meat looks like in or out of a can. I eat meat and I eat veggies but I never confuse one for the other.
            http://www.facebook.com/daemonized

            Comment


            • #7
              For those of you who have no experience with veggie meat, I congratulate you! Yeah, it looks quite like dog food...

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Miscellangela View Post
                I think you should just eat your primal food with an air of superiority while she watches you shrink. Maybe comment that her fake meat doesn't look very appetizing.

                Then again, I'm a total bitch. YMMV.

                LOL I love it. I try not to give in to my inner bitch...but it's hard!!

                Comment


                • #9
                  Logic won't work on her. Use your female wiles to belittle and denigrate her food choices. Alternatively you could just try the method my grandmother used regarding yours truly concerning the blubber situation. That is, grab a piece of belly flab, wiggle it around and state in a neutral tone "you've gone fat. You need to lose the blubber". Smile sweetly afterwards.

                  Worked for me.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Especially since she lives with you, my best advice would be to walk the walk. You can talk the talk, but usually that goes in one ear and out the other, especially if they are not at a place in their lives where they are ready to receive and make changes. But if they can see your progress, that will speak volumes and they will begin to ask questions and be a bit more receptive. Even then, it might take awhile to sink in, but keep walking the walk.

                    PPL ask me now how I have lost weight, and I can't help but think to myself, "do you really want to know or do you just want the magic beans?" Some just want the beans, and you can tell that, but some are truly interested in learning more about what works and what doesnt. But I dont volunteer it anymore unless they ask.
                    65lbs gone and counting!!

                    Fat 2 Fit - One Woman's Journey

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      You'll just have to ignore it. I've learned to ignore what my family eats, what my neighbors eat (though they eat really healthfully), and what have you. A couple of our coworkers eat very poorly, and it's shocking because we are health practitioners. But, hey, everyone has their own thing.

                      I would say that you could go ahead and offer her veggie-friendly stuff, and then she'll either take it or not. It's fine.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Moll View Post
                        I'm not even sure what the point of this post is, other than that I think I'm going to start screaming and knocking her food out of her hands at some point if I don't let out some of my frustration.

                        So my sister in law moved in with my husband and I about 3 months ago. It's been awkward for numerous reasons, but one of the things that makes me the craziest of all is watching her eat. First off, she's extremely overweight. Second, she's strangely picky when it comes to her food - it has to look appetizing? I think is how she explained it to me once when we took her out to a Korean/Japanese restaurant and she didn't want to eat her noodles (SO GOOD) because they had pieces of strange looking vegetables in them (that could have easily been avoided). Except that this seems like complete BS because she'll eat veggie meat out of a can, and I'm pretty sure we all know what THAT looks like (dog food). It's seems like a convenient excuse for when she doesn't want to try something.

                        A typical day's food for her:

                        Breakfast: 1-2 bowls of some type of sugar cereal with almond milk
                        Lunch: Pizza from grocery store (small), maybe some fake breaded chicken, OR brown rice with soy sauce
                        Dinner: Veggie meat, maybe some beans from a can, MAYBE a couple pieces of lettuce or cut up peppers (some take on a taco salad), mashed potatoes with margarine (plastic, anyone?)

                        Taco bell is a frequent stop for her; same with the local sandwich shop (veggie meat on a baguette with ranch).

                        Let me just say, she's a very sweet girl who happens to be extremely conservative (Adventist). To her, not eating meat is religiously motivated as well as that she probably thinks it's gross. She prays over all her meals and I.just.can't.take.it. Thanks for this processed, GMO, sugar-filled inflammation bowl, and please help it nourish and strengthen my body???

                        Now I have a ways to go myself - I've been overweight my whole life, but I'm feeling better than ever eating primally. I've dropped 6 pounds in 3 weeks, but I don't think anything besides DRASTIC results (which is what I'm going for) is going to lend support to anything I'd try and say to her. Plus the whole idea that primal eating is based on evolution is something else that would cause her to believe it has no merit (because the world is only 6,000 years old in her belief system).

                        Anyway, this is mostly me venting and not having a real good idea of how to help her, at least until I can make some major progress of my own.

                        And for everyone's reading pleasure, here is the contents of her side of the cupboard!
                        Canned veggie meat
                        Canned beans
                        Canned corn
                        Canned green beans
                        Extra butter microwave popcorn
                        Spaghetti
                        Cookies
                        Soy sauce
                        Ramen noodles
                        Canned peaches
                        Saltine crackers
                        Tortilla chips
                        Quick oats

                        Any ideas/constructive suggestions would be happily received, or just feel free to vent about your OWN instances of encounters with horrific diets if you feel the need. Getting this out has made me feel slightly better, actually.
                        Quietly go about your transformation and be her example. Right now you are on your Primal Throne, which is only going to stress you out and put tension in the household.

                        Unless you are buying her food, you have no control over her eating habits. Let her brother do the lecturing. If she asks questions, then jump right in and talk away! Offer her some of what you are eating.

                        You say she is sweet. I am trusting you on that. If she was a bitch, then I'd offer advice involving a dumpster and a change of locks.

                        Congratulations on your success! Keep it up.
                        sigpic
                        Age 48
                        Start date: 7-5-12
                        5'3"
                        121lbs
                        GOAL: to live to be a healthy and active 100


                        "In health there is freedom. Health is the first of all liberties."
                        Henri Frederic Amiel

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          why are you trying to help her if she isn't interested? other than maybe finding some Adventist literature about healthy eating and leaving it in a conspicuous place (they eat much better than she does), live and let live. She sees how you eat and she'll see how it works for you. If she's interested, backing off and shutting up will give her the time and space to think about it and ask questions.

                          beyond that, sharing your space with others is hard. BTDT. the littlest things start to be super annoying and otherwise congenial, rational people may start to nag and nitpick. I can imagine being annoyed by her dietary choices.
                          my primal journal:
                          http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum...Primal-Journal

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Moll View Post

                            And for everyone's reading pleasure, here is the contents of her side of the cupboard!
                            Canned veggie meat
                            After four years of being a veg head, I didn't even realize they make canned veggie meat. Not that such a thing would have been tempting (fake meats just weren't tempting to me), but really ...

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Sabine View Post
                              How about just offering her every type of good vegetable and fruit dish you make for yourself, and letting the rest slide? You can't change other people's minds or hearts for them. In stressful times, people cling to what comforts them, and though you didn't say why she moved in with you, the possibilities(job loss, problems at home, etc) suggest stress, and then there's just the stress of being around her brother and sister-in-law in a new situation, 24/7. Use some of your new-found primal calm to be gentle with her. That's the best kind of superiority.
                              I like this idea, the only problem is that we're SO poor right now that it's hard to afford food even for the two of us. Hopefully job situations are looking up and we'll have a bit more income to work with, and then I can put that into practice. And she moved in with us to kind of become more independent...was formerly living with her parents. So I guess it's a step in the right direction...
                              But yes, I will absolutely try to keep my primal calm.

                              Comment

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