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Girlfriend is Ruining my Primal

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  • #61
    Try getting some paleo cookbooks and asking her to try some of the recipes. Maybe she'll find some she likes cooking.

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    • #62
      Originally posted by tfarny View Post
      And it's not white rice and a dash of Mirin (! Seriously!) that made you puffy, it's probably MaKuDoNaaRuDo.
      Love those creepy-ass commercials.

      Also, he didn't say if he was overweight to begin with and is just trying to lose it now. It can be very difficult for some people (myself included) to lose weight while eating even small amounts of primal-approved carbs. People keep saying "Just eat the rice! It's fine! You must be cheating if you're not losing weight!" but that is a bunch of bullshit. You can absolutely stall just from eating rice or fruit. I did.

      _-J o u r n a l_--------- ---- ---- --- --- -- -- -

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      • #63
        After reading a bit more on this site it looks like diet may not be the issue after all. I'm well within 80%. I might have to have a look at stress and sleep a little closer.

        RC

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        • #64
          I agree with Cori. Also, we just saw a list of how to "keep a man". I'd love to see a list of how to "keep a woman". Just for fun, just for giggles.

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          • #65
            Asians have much larger pancreas than any other race. Fact.

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            • #66
              Originally posted by Issabeau View Post
              Asians have much larger pancreas than any other race. Fact.
              +1 to Issabeau, ie Dwight.

              OP, you are both right, but you're agruing fact againts feelings. Her self-worth is tied up in pleasing you. Wanting to care for you is healthy, but that caring for you being attached to her value as a woman is unhealthy. What you're speaking to her is, "Babe, you're cooking is making me fat. Do it my way. Awwww....don't worry we'll find another way to make you useful to me."(dramatic paraphrase). Do you love her? If the answer is yes, why didn't you reassure her that you love her for who she is and not what she does and how well she does it? Seems kinda manipulative to not reassure her, unless it is about what she brings to the table, literally and figuratively. Her feelings are what will ultimately decide the outcome, regardless of whether or not you get your primal way (your feelings too). So try this, or don't.

              "GF, I've been thinking about what you said. I don't love you because of what you do for me. I love you because you're you. What you mean to me isn't wrapped up in how well you serve me (because if it did I would be a douche). I totally understand this might seem daunting, so where can we both compromise a bit? Could I cook up a big batch of (hamburgers, steaks, roast,etc) and warm up some to eat along side of what you make that night? Could we learn together with new recipes? I'm not trying to step on your toes or make you feel like you're not doing a good enough job. I just really feel strongly about seeing if this dietary element will help me with the fact that I'm uncomfortable with how I look. My appearance has nothing to do with what you've made (because if I am making my the majority of my meals, one less primal meal that you make isn't the real issue). I want to be more comitted to trying this out to see if it helps me. Can you help me?"

              Make sure it's a dialogue, not a monologue. Ask questions and own your shit but don't own her shit, like finding her value in serving you.

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              • #67
                How to keep yer woman Happy? hmmmm
                1. Yes dear.
                2. Here let me do that.
                3. Yes dear.
                4. Yes dear.
                5. Yes dear.

                Primal since April 2012 Male 6' 3" SW 345lbs CW 240lbs GW 220lbs and when I get there I am getting a utlikilt. This one http://www.utilikilts.com/company/pr...ilts/workmans/ actually.

                Join me at www.paleoplanet.net, where all the cavemen hang out.

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                • #68
                  Originally posted by Warmbear View Post
                  How to keep yer woman Happy? hmmmm
                  1. Yes dear.
                  2. Here let me do that.
                  3. Yes dear.
                  4. Yes dear.
                  5. Yes dear.

                  Not in my experience.
                  If you are new to the PB - please ignore ALL of this stuff, until you've read the book, or at least http://www.marksdailyapple.com/primal-blueprint-101/ and this (personal fave): http://www.archevore.com/get-started/

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                  • #69
                    Originally posted by tfarny View Post
                    Not in my experience.
                    Agreed...

                    Replace 5 yes dears with one good dicking.....

                    Happy wife happy life.

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                    • #70
                      Originally posted by Chelw View Post
                      I agree with Cori. Also, we just saw a list of how to "keep a man". I'd love to see a list of how to "keep a woman". Just for fun, just for giggles.
                      How 'bout this...


                      For me personally... Skip straight to #3, and go from there.

                      Originally posted by Warmbear View Post
                      How to keep yer woman Happy? hmmmm
                      1. Yes dear.
                      2. Here let me do that.
                      3. Yes dear.
                      4. Yes dear.
                      5. Yes dear.

                      Bleh... no. Not even.
                      “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
                      ~Friedrich Nietzsche
                      And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.

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                      • #71
                        Originally posted by cori93437 View Post
                        How 'bout this...


                        For me personally... Skip straight to #3, and go from there.



                        Bleh... no. Not even.
                        LOL...I love that. And for all my post says I definitely work on doing 1 and 2 also (and apparently when married with kids changing dirty dippers also earns some points....YUK!).

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                        • #72
                          GF: "Well where does that leave me? You are already covering the rent until I find a job, and so now my only contribution will be keeping the house clean. I am a woman and therefore my purpose is to serve you, and you are preventing me from fulfilling this purpose."

                          RC: exactly baby, now you be a good woman and serve your man how I ask you to, not how you want to.
                          Ecommerce and Webdesign Agency
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                          • #73
                            I've lived with my Japanese girlfriend here in southern Osaka for a little over two years now, and there was a little resistance at first to some of the changes that eating in accordance with primal principles, but over time she learned that the changes really weren't as big as they first sounded, and that if she really must have rice she's free to make and eat it herself.

                            It means no udon, ramen, somen or other common noodley fare, but there are always rice noodles, harusame, marune (kuzu-kiri), or ito-konnyaku to replace them when you want something like that.

                            Beans are mostly out, but natto, miso, and soy sauce aren't a (big) problem.

                            Rice is fine, but empty and worthless nutritionally. Having it now and then in dishes like sushi, chirashi-zushi, or fried rice, or with eel or other foods typically served with rice is fine -- just reduce the portion a bit. In everyday meals, if you really must have something carby, Japanese sweet potatoes are fantastic; as is kabocha, satoimo, and regular potatoes.

                            The sweet dishes that use a lot of sugar really aren't very traditional at all -- until very recently table sugar was a relatively expensive and uncommon ingredient. You don't need the sugar for any Japanese food -- her tastes are just spoiled by how sweet most prepared foods are in Japan; we use sugar in nothing and only rarely use mirin to add a bright touch to certain dishes, but sake often works just as well.

                            Breaded and battered foods are mostly out, but you can make kara-age with starch (katakuriko), ton-katsu with grated coconut, kaki-fry with rice flour, and so on.

                            Soups, hot pot, grilled fish, stirfries, egg dishes... none of that changes.

                            Salad oil is garbage; you can get refined coconut oil (baguio) on rakuten cheap and should be able to get her to switch to that at least with little to no resistance. Or just use the lard that renders out of the pork when you cook stirfries instead of extra oil.

                            She's making a mountain out of a molehill unless she's a real sugar addict, or isn't actually all that fond of traditional Japanese meals made from scratch; what her grandparents or great grandparents ate; probably not what her mom cooks (in most cases).
                            Primal food in Japan

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                            • #74
                              do your own cooking dude! Don't expect her to do it!
                              http://soundcloud.com/heidi-ellen-whurr/translucent

                              http://soundcloud.com/heidi-ellen-wh...-sie-ungeheuer

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                              • #75
                                Thanks Faumdano for sharing your experience, and good to hear that your girlfriend is onboard.

                                It sounds like you are giving the green light to some foods that I would personally consider NG (eg katakuriko, rice flour, noodles). I'll try controlling the portions a little but I was wondering how it is working out for you in terms of results. Also, what about rice? Do you have this with every meal?

                                The sugar is the main one I'm concerned about. It's in everything over here - sauces, tamago makiyaki, etc. Out of interest I checked the label of the pre-ground salt-and-pepper shaker the other day and sure enough sugar was one of the ingredients (?!). It's in the bin now, btw.

                                You're right about the salad oil being garbage, which she used to drown her salads in. I weened her off that by purchasing a set of these gourmet oils (macadamia, olive, avocado, etc) and so she is enjoying experimenting with these.

                                btw nice blog.

                                RC

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