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  • Making compromises for social occasions



    I'm supposed to meet up with a friend this week and he has recently started cutting out meat. My point isn't to argue with him about this, but he would like to go visit a restaurant that makes all sorts of "meat" dishes but using soy. It's Thai so all the dishes are pretty much these meat substitutes with rice.


    I'm just wondering if you all tend to take the 80/20 approach, or do you decide that your diet is more important than social situations? If there is something primal I can always choose that at restaurants, but some just don't have many options. Here the options would be either spend 15-20 bucks for a small portion of soy stuff and starve, or have it with some rice and be somewhat full. Not much better than that.


    I'm just kind of hesitant after last week's carb fiasco, once it started I couldn't stop...


  • #2
    1



    Ok well, most resturants that cater to vegs pride themselves on friendliness, so I would simply order a huge amount of veggies, stir fried in one of their thai sauces. I am sure they would be more than happy to indulge you, they know how inconvenient eating out can be when you have a restrictive diet. Just tell them starches dont agree with you well.


    Maybe try some of the soy meat stuff on the side, because your friend wants you to try it.


    Just because you want the dish slightly different from the menu, doesnt mean you cant have it. They will usually be glad to comply.

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    • #3
      1



      Especially at those prices, and even if someone else was picking up the tab, I'd drink water, herbal tea or black coffee and enjoy the company and conversation.


      Some things I'm 80/20 on. Others, like grains and legumes, are "only if it was that or death by starvation."

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      • #4
        1



        That's a good point, they may be able to accommodate. I've been there before, I used to be vegetarian and actually recommended it to my friend a while back before I started following a more primal type of diet. So the whole situation is my fault, if I think about it


        Who knows maybe they have something else good too. I'm just trying to find the proper "balance" of taking care of health but not feeling that I can't go out to certain places. I'm more of an all or nothing person in most cases

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        • #5
          1



          I think soy is a super-awful, toxic food (and even back when I was eating it it gave me gas and stomach cramps) so I myself would not eat it for social reasons or any reason at all. To me this is different than just having something that might (say) have a sauce with some starch or sugar, or having a small helping of a dessert someone baked themselves. I'd have some meat or eggs or whatever at home and just eat vegetables at the restaurant ... if you really can't go to a different place that might be more accommodating to you both.

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          • #6
            1



            I don't think there's anything wrong with declining or suggesting a change when there is *nothing* for you to eat. A vegetarian would do the same. Otherwise, I would try some veggies with a coconut / nut based sauce. Or fast, if you're able.

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            • #7
              1



              I find this tough. I've been out helping my grandmother move house a lot lately, and she keeps offering me food. I keep declining, and tell her that I can't eat what she's making, but she really doesn't seem to understand! I think she's got used to me saying no, though, and worst case I'll eat a couple potatoes, a little starch is acceptable.


              I'd recommend that you try and suggest an alternative that would accommodate you both, and if that fails, eat lots of Veg. Be careful about ordering sauces as some use a lot of sugar / honey.


              Eating out in general is difficult for me. So few menus are primal friendly.

              Apparently I suck at life, so I'm crowd-sourcing my decisions, and sharing what I learn.

              My fresh start in London

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              • #8
                1



                I think you really should be able to find a restaurant that has something for the both of you. And I second the soy being a really bad thing. I'd rather eat the rice than the soy.


                If you do end up going to this vegetarian restaurant, maybe avoid the soy and when your friend asks you about it, you can tell him about this, if you feel comfortable: http://www.menshealth.com/bestfoods/food_features/Is_This_the_Most_Dangerous_Food_for_Men.php.


                I hate being negative about what other people eat, and can look the other way when it comes to bread and sugar, but if someone is making soy a staple in their diet, I want hit the fork away from their mouth. :P

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                • #9
                  1



                  Wow. Putting myself in that situation, I would be more inclined to go for pizza and nachos followed by ice cream than any kind of soy-based, sad homage to meat.

                  You lousy kids! Get off my savannah!

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                  • #10
                    1



                    I would go the veggie route myself, or order a veggie and fake soy mea dish and just eat the veggies.


                    some tea and yuor all set

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                    • #11
                      1



                      After recently learning a lot more abut the dangers of soy I also hate seeing people make it a staple in their diet. My mother drinks probably 4-5 containers of soy milk per WEEK. And my friend that I mentioned is replacing meat with stuff like veggie pate and tofu and all that. I hate being confrontational with food though, especially since I am quite new to eating this way and was a pretty big believer in vegetarian diets before this.

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                      • #12
                        1



                        Eat a bunch of good Primal food before you meet him (??) so you won't be tempted.


                        Soy! Ouch. Primal Child has it. Better wheat that that soy crap. At least wheat doesn't make your testes shrink. (OK, I know, a bit of hyperbole.)


                        Or find a restaurant that you can both be happy with.


                        Depending on the type of person and friend that he is, you might ask him why it is that no one is trying make a rib eye steak taste like tofu........

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                        • #13
                          1



                          I used to be a soy girl! Soy milk and tofu and everything. No more though (and I knew I was hypothyroid, oh well) I second eating a meal before you go and then having a yummy thai veg coconut curry. Sometimes you get great thai coconut soups that you can have with out the noodles. There's nothing wrong 'bout upping your veggie intake. What about a spicy salad or a little bit of fermented soy? Or something nutty? I would go and eat something though as it's not the first or last time you're going to go out to a veggie restaurant and you might as well try navigating the menu.

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                          • #14
                            1



                            It's a Thai restaurant. Just get a big ol' veggie dish, avoid the soy crap altogether, ask that they don't serve you rice, and have some tea.


                            And most of all enjoy your friends company.


                            If you want to warn your friend about soy, do it before or the day after the meal.


                            Perhaps it is just me, but I don't see why this is complicated. Granted it blows your carbs out, but if you are avoiding grains, starches, soy and excess sugar then just right it off under 80/20.

                            And next time you tell your friend you are going to the "all you can eat rib shack", the one down the street where they hose down the tables after every meal... :-P

                            Once you learn that you create your own reality and that you are fully responsible for your life, you can begin to see the world as it is and then you realize the limitless possibilities.

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                            • #15
                              1



                              Some good advice so far. Still, it sounds like this meet up is more about catching up with a friend than it is about the meal. So why not focus more on your friend and less on the location. Enjoy it for what it is - a chance to catch up in a new place - and don't make your friend feel awkward.


                              A big +1 to OtB's suggestion about filling up on some fat and meat beforehand. That way you can enjoy a "light" vegetarian meal with your friend and not feel the need to hit the rice or soy.


                              Not to freak you out further, but Thai food is an interesting quandry. There's more potential "non Primalness" to it than just rice and soy. Are there peanuts as a garnish? Was that stir fry cooked in canola or corn oil? How much sugar did they use to make the sauce sweet?


                              Your best bet may be to explore the soups and salads. I'm guessing you could probably get a green papaya salad and vegetable tom kha w/o soy. Steamed vegetables might also be a good option.

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