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Calling any recovered EDs - I need som help with binge-fast-binge cycle

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  • #61
    Originally posted by Dexy View Post
    OMG, I hear you sister. That weighing and measuring is like OCD. Loggin lettuce leaves is painful. Do you never weigh yourself now? Did you just decide? I think this would be a really big leap for me, it's super scary.
    I did the UD2 in mid February, which was what triggered my 'OCD' weighing and tracking/binging and restricting phase. Now that it's the end of June, it's been a little over 4 months and I just got on the scale for the first time (at a doctor's appt 2 weeks ago, not my choice). I can say that now I'm back in a place where I can hop on a scale here and there, and I could track my food casually, if I wanted to, without getting militant about it. However, even though I COULD do these things, I don't.

    There was a book that I read, when i was 'recovering' from my UD2 experience that really helped me to understand why my body was fighting me to lose those last 5 lbs of fat, and why I'm actually much better off not struggling to get rid of it - I highly recommend it for all women to read (since it's written about women). It's called 'Why Women Need Fat'. Reading this book really helped me to see why the more restrictive I was, the more my body retaliated.

    One thing I've learned is that almost all of the diets and fat loss research studies are done on MEN. Women are excluded because their hormonal issues are so complex and so little understood that they prevent most women from losing fat in the way that men do. Since scientists don't want these 'abnormal' female results messing up their data, they routinely exclude women from their studies. They occasionally will allow POST-menopausal women as long as they are not on hormone replacement therapy, because after menopause, fat gain/loss in these women responds more similarly to that in men. Then, they release the results, and assume that those same results SHOULD be the same for women. Women get to feel that it's a personal failure if they can't lose weight following some 'foolproof' protocol that's 'guaranteed' (for men).

    I've learned that i can't force my body to do what it doesn't want to do. So instead of self-flaggelation and self-hatred, I'm focusing on feeling good about myself, flaws included. At first, making that leap was difficult and kind of painful.

    What really made me realize that it was time to let the obsession of those 'last 5 lbs' go was one night when my husband said, 'who wants to have sex with a skinny girl? NO guy.' That was a real shocker to me, and led to many discussions about how most men would actually prefer to have sex with a fat woman than a very skinny one. This got me questioning about why I was being so unnecessarily brutal in my critique of my appearance, when clearly no one else was...and i decided that I didn't want to live in a military state anymore. That's when the weighing of myself and logging my food obsessively stopped. Now, it doesn't even occur to me to get on the scale, which feels really good.

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    • #62
      Originally posted by BestBetter View Post
      I've learned that i can't force my body to do what it doesn't want to do. So instead of self-flaggelation and self-hatred, I'm focusing on feeling good about myself, flaws included.
      That's amazing, BestBetter! Good for you. No, GREAT for you! Seriously, that's terrific!
      F, 44 years old, 111.8 lbs, 4 feet 11.5 inches (yes, that half inch matters!)

      **1st place sparring, AAU TKD regional qualifier, 2/15/15 - It's damn good to hit like a girl!**

      **First-ever 5K race 11/28/13: 37 minutes, 18+ seconds, no stopping**

      Comment


      • #63
        Originally posted by JellyNellie
        Hi Dexy,

        I've struggled with disordered eating for about ten years, on and off. You name it, Ive probably tried it. I'm wondering though, when was the last time you've had a comprehensive blood work up? How are you feeling? Lethargic? Depressed? Are you on any meds? (and I read through the other posts, Im sorry if I missed this info...)--

        The bingeing behavior manifested later, only a few years ago and really became the lasting symptom. I liked eating, hated throwing up anymore, and loved/hated bingeing, it's been the most difficult to stop. Over the past few years, my dad died of cancer, i started/completed grad school, moved to a new city and started a new job. So it went from years of starving/compulsive exercise, to purging, to binge-purge, to binge throughout that process. It wasn't ALL the time, but definitely out of my control. Even though I was mostly paleo/primal, I still felt terrible fatigue-- I used to run 8 miles a day and now I was bonking at 3. I just felt depressed and shitty, and I binged. I had some blood work which revealed severe iron deficient anemia (very low ferritin; several years of heavy endurance training preceded by 14 years of vegetarianism and ED behavior...). Still going through the follow ups for that, but I can say that I feel better since getting supplements. I haven't purged in a year and binged (or even had the desire) in months, which for me is a miracle. I think it was a combination of seeing the consequences of my behavior and getting the right stuff that my body needed.

        It could be, perhaps, that you have a deficiency of some kind thats undiscovered? Your body is healing, so be kind. And don't compensate for your binges either, no extra work outs or no skipping meals.... just keep moving onto the next. This can be uncomfortable and might cause some weight gain-- I gained 30 lbs (form my normal weight), but have so far lost 12 of those now that things have leveled. I work out when I feel like it, a few runs a week and some push ups/sit ups--but not ever to compensate for overeating...which is very important.

        Sorry to ramble on, but I empathize. Have yourself checked out for your own peace of mind. I thought I was just fat/lazy, which only dug a deeper hole and fueled the behavior. I know how discouraging it can be, but you're on your way out of the hole (you just dont know it yet).

        Good luck, keep us posted.
        Thanks for your thoughts and time JellyNellie. There has been a lot of mention of hormones and I'm quite sure this is a massive factor for me which as yet has not been taken very seriously in the mainstream with the teratment of EDs.

        I do take 30mg cipramil daily and a few supplements - fishoil, evening primrose oil, zinc, magnesium, vitex and a porbiotic. I have chronic aneamia, due another blood test next week so am interested to see if my efforts with liver have paid off.

        You've prompted me to go to my GP and get some more detailed blood work done, then I'll take this to a Naturopath because in my experience they deal with these issues better than your average GP, even though mine is pretty awesome. It would be good to rule hormones out or deal with whatever comes up. I often think as women we just accept the lack of knowledge and interpretation of hormone levels as out lot. I'll take action, thanks for the important suggestion.

        Comment


        • #64
          Originally posted by BestBetter View Post
          I did the UD2 in mid February, which was what triggered my 'OCD' weighing and tracking/binging and restricting phase. Now that it's the end of June, it's been a little over 4 months and I just got on the scale for the first time (at a doctor's appt 2 weeks ago, not my choice). I can say that now I'm back in a place where I can hop on a scale here and there, and I could track my food casually, if I wanted to, without getting militant about it. However, even though I COULD do these things, I don't.

          There was a book that I read, when i was 'recovering' from my UD2 experience that really helped me to understand why my body was fighting me to lose those last 5 lbs of fat, and why I'm actually much better off not struggling to get rid of it - I highly recommend it for all women to read (since it's written about women). It's called 'Why Women Need Fat'. Reading this book really helped me to see why the more restrictive I was, the more my body retaliated.

          One thing I've learned is that almost all of the diets and fat loss research studies are done on MEN. Women are excluded because their hormonal issues are so complex and so little understood that they prevent most women from losing fat in the way that men do. Since scientists don't want these 'abnormal' female results messing up their data, they routinely exclude women from their studies. They occasionally will allow POST-menopausal women as long as they are not on hormone replacement therapy, because after menopause, fat gain/loss in these women responds more similarly to that in men. Then, they release the results, and assume that those same results SHOULD be the same for women. Women get to feel that it's a personal failure if they can't lose weight following some 'foolproof' protocol that's 'guaranteed' (for men).

          I've learned that i can't force my body to do what it doesn't want to do. So instead of self-flaggelation and self-hatred, I'm focusing on feeling good about myself, flaws included. At first, making that leap was difficult and kind of painful.

          What really made me realize that it was time to let the obsession of those 'last 5 lbs' go was one night when my husband said, 'who wants to have sex with a skinny girl? NO guy.' That was a real shocker to me, and led to many discussions about how most men would actually prefer to have sex with a fat woman than a very skinny one. This got me questioning about why I was being so unnecessarily brutal in my critique of my appearance, when clearly no one else was...and i decided that I didn't want to live in a military state anymore. That's when the weighing of myself and logging my food obsessively stopped. Now, it doesn't even occur to me to get on the scale, which feels really good.
          Sounds as though you've come a very long way in a realtively short time. Thanks for your strength and hope. I will check out that book, I just replied to another post about hormone levels, it's very interesting and a path I'd like to know more about.

          I just ate one of the biggest breakfasts of my life in the hope that if I maintain decent fat and protein levels I won't binge. It's scary, if I start binging while eating all this I'm going to blow up like a balloon. But I jhave to try something new, same old same old isn't working for me.

          Comment


          • #65
            Originally posted by jimhensen View Post
            Nasty and moronic? Please. I told you I have an eating disorder. I had a drug problem myself and when I quit drugs I went to food. I went from 200 pounds to 300 in a year and a half from binge eating. Since march I have put on about 30 pounds. Think about that for a second. 30 POUNDS in less than 3 months. Its about 2.5 pounds a week of weight gain. Considering I am already extremely overweight this is a serious problem. Don't talk to me about not having an eating disorder.

            Like I said, if AA worked for you, great, keep it up. But you aren't powerless, you don't need to surrender, and you don't need a higher power. If you were powerless you would be dead. If you were powerless you wouldn't be able to stop drinking ever. No one did it BUT YOU.
            My sympathies towards your situation, but given your situation why would you try and come on here and try and stop people from adopting this healthy lifestyle when the lifestyle you are following is clearly not working?!?
            Eating primal is not a diet, it is a way of life.
            PS
            Don't forget to play!

            Comment


            • #66
              Originally posted by Dirlot View Post
              My sympathies towards your situation, but given your situation why would you try and come on here and try and stop people from adopting this healthy lifestyle when the lifestyle you are following is clearly not working?!?
              I'm 3 weeks binge free and have lost over 10 pounds in that time...all while eating grains and some processed foods. I like to argue with people on the internet. The lifestyle I am living now, in the past 3 weeks, is working well, and as long as I stick with it I will lose all the weight I need.

              I'm not trying to stop anyone from being primal, I just like to argue about it. If someone sees my posts and stops being primal, that is up to them.

              Comment


              • #67
                Originally posted by jimhensen View Post
                I'm 3 weeks binge free and have lost over 10 pounds in that time...all while eating grains and some processed foods. I like to argue with people on the internet. The lifestyle I am living now, in the past 3 weeks, is working well, and as long as I stick with it I will lose all the weight I need.

                I'm not trying to stop anyone from being primal, I just like to argue about it. If someone sees my posts and stops being primal, that is up to them.
                I have no problem with your decision - or anyone else's - to eat some grains and processed foods. I just can't understand why you take pleasure in frequenting a forum based on a way of eating you clearly don't prescribe to. Wouldn't it be a more fun use of your time to do something else?

                Comment


                • #68
                  Originally posted by BestBetter View Post
                  I have no problem with your decision - or anyone else's - to eat some grains and processed foods. I just can't understand why you take pleasure in frequenting a forum based on a way of eating you clearly don't prescribe to. Wouldn't it be a more fun use of your time to do something else?
                  ALL forums need their contrarians. Jim fills that role nicely.

                  Comment


                  • #69
                    Originally posted by jimhensen View Post
                    I'm 3 weeks binge free and have lost over 10 pounds in that time...all while eating grains and some processed foods. I like to argue with people on the internet. The lifestyle I am living now, in the past 3 weeks, is working well, and as long as I stick with it I will lose all the weight I need.

                    I'm not trying to stop anyone from being primal, I just like to argue about it. If someone sees my posts and stops being primal, that is up to them.
                    I am glad you have found a book which has helped you deal with your binging. Much like an alcoholic cuts out alcohol, it would probably be easier to cut out the highly addictive grains and processed foods but lets hope it works for you.

                    So you like to argue. You don't want to debate, share information or make a positive forum contribution you just want to argue.
                    Eating primal is not a diet, it is a way of life.
                    PS
                    Don't forget to play!

                    Comment


                    • #70
                      Originally posted by Dirlot View Post
                      I am glad you have found a book which has helped you deal with your binging. Much like an alcoholic cuts out alcohol, it would probably be easier to cut out the highly addictive grains and processed foods but lets hope it works for you.

                      So you like to argue. You don't want to debate, share information or make a positive forum contribution you just want to argue.
                      off topic - Is that you in that picture? Every time I see it I wonder how the f*ck you do that
                      well then

                      Comment


                      • #71
                        Originally posted by Gadsie View Post
                        off topic - Is that you in that picture? Every time I see it I wonder how the f*ck you do that
                        Get use to threads going off topic...lol

                        And to go further off topic ...Yea that is me...flags are awesome. I can hold that for 30+ seconds each side now. There is a good progression in CC2 where you start by trying to hug the bar and feet dangling down. My goal is a full press flag but that is going to take a lot of time.
                        Last edited by Dirlot; 06-29-2012, 07:58 AM.
                        Eating primal is not a diet, it is a way of life.
                        PS
                        Don't forget to play!

                        Comment


                        • #72
                          Originally posted by jimhensen View Post
                          I'm 3 weeks binge free and have lost over 10 pounds in that time...all while eating grains and some processed foods. I like to argue with people on the internet. The lifestyle I am living now, in the past 3 weeks, is working well, and as long as I stick with it I will lose all the weight I need.

                          I'm not trying to stop anyone from being primal, I just like to argue about it. If someone sees my posts and stops being primal, that is up to them.
                          i hate to say it, but I've gone several months being binge free, but it has come back. Usually after life circumstances have changed - like getting into a new relationship, being in a job I really liked, or even reading some inspiring book that gave me a new perspective on ed.

                          In my experience there is only so far you can go with mind control. For me the crucial thing has been addressing the emotional roots of my addictive personality, and then cleaning up my diet, as I understand now that around half of eds are caused by food additions.
                          "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

                          In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

                          - Ray Peat

                          Comment


                          • #73
                            I just wanted to share with anyone still in the thread that I've been eating A LOT to avoid binges. This is quite alarming for me and certainly the most I have ever eaten in my life in terms of 3 meals a day. No binge for about 5 or 6 days I think.

                            I ate 5 eggs and 2 sausages for breakfast, and I cannot tell you what weird thing this is for me. A few months ago i once ate a 5 egg frittata and cried myself to sleep that night. For lunch a whopping piece of turkey breast with loads of homemade mayonaise and salad, and tonight a steak and roasted root vegetables. And I still seem to be hungry, not sure what that's all about.

                            I weighed myself this morning and have put on a kilo, but at this stage that is meaningless I think. I am avoiding nuts and sweet things. I've only had a couple of pieces of fruit this week, normally i have two or 3 a day. Basically lots more meat and more eggs. Oh, and a while avocado in my salad every day. I don't want to know what my calorie intake must be at the moment, colossal.

                            I've been using some of the bits and pieces of advice on this thread and trusting that this can work for me as it has worked for some of you.

                            Comment


                            • #74
                              Originally posted by Dexy View Post
                              I ate 5 eggs and 2 sausages for breakfast, and I cannot tell you what weird thing this is for me. A few months ago i once ate a 5 egg frittata and cried myself to sleep that night. For lunch a whopping piece of turkey breast with loads of homemade mayonaise and salad, and tonight a steak and roasted root vegetables. And I still seem to be hungry, not sure what that's all about.
                              I find that my hunger is mental most of the time. I have set times where I eat meals (which helps me with not bingeing) and I find my hunger will come in waves. I will eat a meal, then a few hours later be "hungry" but if I don't give in and eat something I won't be hungry for another few hours when I'm supposed to eat my next meal.

                              Comment


                              • #75
                                Originally posted by jimhensen View Post
                                I find that my hunger is mental most of the time. I have set times where I eat meals (which helps me with not bingeing) and I find my hunger will come in waves. I will eat a meal, then a few hours later be "hungry" but if I don't give in and eat something I won't be hungry for another few hours when I'm supposed to eat my next meal.
                                Yeah, I do get that limbic hunger sometimes and it's hard to differentiate between the two. But I've been really, really hungry a couple of hours after meals and have eaten a meat of egg snack (maybe 2 or 3 times in the lasty 4 days). I think my body can't quite believe it's getting enough food at last and is begging for more of the same.

                                It's so good not to feel hungry. Is this what life feels like? I can function again. I haven't felt any extreme stress or anxiety for the last 4 or 5 days, I've felt present with my children, I'm sleeping better. The obsession about food is diminishing as I know there's another good meal coming some time soon. Wow, I feel pretty good.

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