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  • i don't really think you are helping much either, oxide.

    ribbons, you have asserted yourself this is not a phase, but how you have been/behaved for about the last 7-8 years. Phases last a couple of weeks/months at your age. you also wrote thoughts like "i want to die" and such.

    none of this is about weight. I don't care what you weigh, whether or not you are in an extremely imminent danger or not. What I want is for you to be able to eat without being obsessive or these strange thoughts, fears, guilts, and shames that you have about food.

    i eat food, and i *never* feel this way about food. Even when I was over weight (and I was), I never had these thoughts.

    You need help to get out from under this negative, emotionally damaging condition, which could develop into a physically damaging condition that could even lead to your death.

    Go and Get Help. Your exams can wait, honestly.

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    • Hey ribbons, how are you doing? Haven't heard from you in (what serms like) a while
      well then

      Comment


      • Originally posted by zoebird View Post
        i don't really think you are helping much either, oxide.

        ribbons, you have asserted yourself this is not a phase, but how you have been/behaved for about the last 7-8 years. Phases last a couple of weeks/months at your age. you also wrote thoughts like "i want to die" and such.

        none of this is about weight. I don't care what you weigh, whether or not you are in an extremely imminent danger or not. What I want is for you to be able to eat without being obsessive or these strange thoughts, fears, guilts, and shames that you have about food.

        i eat food, and i *never* feel this way about food. Even when I was over weight (and I was), I never had these thoughts.

        You need help to get out from under this negative, emotionally damaging condition, which could develop into a physically damaging condition that could even lead to your death.

        Go and Get Help. Your exams can wait, honestly.
        I've been aware about weight, calories, etc. for a while but feeling guilty and anxious about food is pretty recent and tends to come in cycles, which is why I want to wait to see if it's just a phase. I'm not sure how long to wait though because it usually doesn't last longer than a week or so but if I haven't gotten better by the end of next week I'll go to a doctor anyway.
        Originally posted by Gadsie View Post
        Hey ribbons, how are you doing? Haven't heard from you in (what serms like) a while
        Hey, sorry I've been trying to make myself study. Yesterday I had 3 normal-sized meals and I was mostly ok with it and then at night I started panicking and having irrational thoughts like 'no matter what I do I'll never lose weight' which even then I knew wasn't true because I've lost weight before but I kept thinking that every food is bad and fattening in some way so I shouldn't eat anything, and then I was getting anxious again because I knew that I can't stop myself from eating forever. But I'm a bit better now

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        • Ribbons,

          It´s wonderful that you´ve started this thread and continue to write in it. People are reading and responding because they care about you and want you to be healthy and happy.

          It´s wonderful that you talked to the online counselor. Good job! Also, wonderful that you talked to your parents. You are taking some really helpful steps to get yourself to a better place.

          Let me add my voice to the many people who are urging you to get professional help now. I agree with Zoebird, it´s not so much about the food as your mental health. So many people have suggested you get help and there is a reason for that.

          Your mind will give you a lot of reasons why going to get help is not a good idea. Here are some of the reasons you´ve told us so far: you need to do your exams first, they won´t be able to help you anyways, you might be weighed, your parents will find out, you want to wait and see if you can get over it on your own, etc. Please don´t listen to your mind. Listen to us instead. You´re thinking is what got you into this place to begin with and if you keep listening to your mind you´ll just stay here.

          Underneath all the excuses to not get help, I believe there is a healthy part of you that wants help and knows that you need it NOW. There is a part of you that believes we are all right and you should pick up what you are doing right now, this very minute, and go get yourself to a professional who can help you. Why? Because you are really, really hurting and you deserve to live a happy, healthy life and you deserve all the help that is so out there for you.

          Take really good care of yourself. You are worth it.

          Comment


          • Originally posted by liminal_luke View Post
            Ribbons,

            It´s wonderful that you´ve started this thread and continue to write in it. People are reading and responding because they care about you and want you to be healthy and happy.

            It´s wonderful that you talked to the online counselor. Good job! Also, wonderful that you talked to your parents. You are taking some really helpful steps to get yourself to a better place.

            Let me add my voice to the many people who are urging you to get professional help now. I agree with Zoebird, it´s not so much about the food as your mental health. So many people have suggested you get help and there is a reason for that.

            Your mind will give you a lot of reasons why going to get help is not a good idea. Here are some of the reasons you´ve told us so far: you need to do your exams first, they won´t be able to help you anyways, you might be weighed, your parents will find out, you want to wait and see if you can get over it on your own, etc. Please don´t listen to your mind. Listen to us instead. You´re thinking is what got you into this place to begin with and if you keep listening to your mind you´ll just stay here.

            Underneath all the excuses to not get help, I believe there is a healthy part of you that wants help and knows that you need it NOW. There is a part of you that believes we are all right and you should pick up what you are doing right now, this very minute, and go get yourself to a professional who can help you. Why? Because you are really, really hurting and you deserve to live a happy, healthy life and you deserve all the help that is so out there for you.

            Take really good care of yourself. You are worth it.
            Thank you
            I know it seems like I'm making lots of excuses but for the last few days I've actually been ok for most of the time. There are just random times during the day and also most nights where I suddenly get anxious and confused about everything and I find it hard to make up my mind about how much I should be eating, but I've been eating enough most days (I still don't know whether that's good or bad). I have another counselling appointment today and like I keep saying I'll go to the doctor after exams if I still need help.

            Comment


            • Originally posted by moorewapyun
              I really think you should find someone in person. They would likely spend the first couple sessions getting to know you, not even necessarily asking you tough questions. Then as you became more comfortable, you could start discussing what's troubling you. Over time you would work with the therapist to get to the heart of the matter and what is causing your behaviors, not simply overcoming the symptoms but helping to alleviate the obsessive thoughts.
              Yeah I know, that's why I'll be going to the doctor if I can't get through this on my own.

              Comment


              • I'm still learning the primal ropes because i'm only 2 months into it but I've shed 15lbs. Fat is your friend. Eat it & love it. I found this easier said than done but it has worked for me so far. Do as suggested, sounds good to me.

                Comment


                • Originally posted by fatfran View Post
                  I'm still learning the primal ropes because i'm only 2 months into it but I've shed 15lbs. Fat is your friend. Eat it & love it. I found this easier said than done but it has worked for me so far. Do as suggested, sounds good to me.
                  That's one of the reasons primal and calorie counting don't work well together for me, because I freak out over the calories in fat and it's the easiest thing to reduce.

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by Ribbons View Post
                    Yeah I know, that's why I'll be going to the doctor if I can't get through this on my own.
                    You've got no idea how serious your situation is, I have read through segments of this thread to get a picture of your story, Everyone has a mental disorder of some type at some point in their life, whether they know it or not, there are two typical personalities, those that seem to be weaker on the face of it and seek external advice & direction when they feel things aren't right and get help at the appropriate time, then there are the others who seem to be in control, they are actually in denial and let things go until finally they are unable to keep anything together, they crash in a big way, then get the help they need. It seems to me you are of the latter type, if you do not get treatment soon, then at some point you will become completly irrational and it will be obvious to everyone around you that you are in dire need of help.
                    I have experienced and seen various mental ilnesses in my life and it doesn't matter whether it is an eating disorder, depression, delusion, anxiety etc. The fact is the longer they go on the more this mode of thinking becomes normal for you and the brain creates new inappropriate behavioural pathways, once you get to recieving treatment then you need to work backwards and retrain your brain to adopt appropriate behaviours.
                    If you want to finish your year 12 first, then the only way that will happen well is to prioritise, what is more important to you your year 12 or this obsession with food & weight, they are mutually exclusive, while you stress yourself mentally and your body with poor nutrition there is no way you can put in your best effort on your exams, and it would not represent your true abilities.
                    You need to put your hand up now and ask for proper help with this, get your parents on board fully, get a doctor, and any relevant specialists required, your health is more important than anything else.
                    "There are no short cuts to enlightenment, the journey is the destination, you have to walk this path alone"

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by Omni View Post
                      You've got no idea how serious your situation is, I have read through segments of this thread to get a picture of your story, Everyone has a mental disorder of some type at some point in their life, whether they know it or not, there are two typical personalities, those that seem to be weaker on the face of it and seek external advice & direction when they feel things aren't right and get help at the appropriate time, then there are the others who seem to be in control, they are actually in denial and let things go until finally they are unable to keep anything together, they crash in a big way, then get the help they need. It seems to me you are of the latter type, if you do not get treatment soon, then at some point you will become completly irrational and it will be obvious to everyone around you that you are in dire need of help.
                      I have experienced and seen various mental ilnesses in my life and it doesn't matter whether it is an eating disorder, depression, delusion, anxiety etc. The fact is the longer they go on the more this mode of thinking becomes normal for you and the brain creates new inappropriate behavioural pathways, once you get to recieving treatment then you need to work backwards and retrain your brain to adopt appropriate behaviours.
                      If you want to finish your year 12 first, then the only way that will happen well is to prioritise, what is more important to you your year 12 or this obsession with food & weight, they are mutually exclusive, while you stress yourself mentally and your body with poor nutrition there is no way you can put in your best effort on your exams, and it would not represent your true abilities.
                      You need to put your hand up now and ask for proper help with this, get your parents on board fully, get a doctor, and any relevant specialists required, your health is more important than anything else.
                      I recognise that I have a problem but I don't need any immediate help. I'm not underweight or malnourished and I'm not starving myself. I'm trying to just eat normally. And there's still a chance I can sort it out on my own but I'll go to the doctor if I can't.

                      Comment


                      • This isn't about food, your calorie intake, or your weight.

                        This is about your mental health. That's where you need help.

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by zoebird View Post
                          This isn't about food, your calorie intake, or your weight.

                          This is about your mental health. That's where you need help.
                          I think you're right. And I'm starting to think I have a personality disorder as well. Ugh, nearly everyone on this thread is right, but I keep making excuses and arguing with myself all the time and I'm really confused about what I even want. And I keep forgetting that I actually have a future and I'm not going to die as soon as school is over.
                          If I go to a doctor to get a referral for a psychologist/psychiatrist and I don't tell them about my food issues will they still want to weigh me?

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                          • Originally posted by Ribbons View Post
                            If I go to a doctor to get a referral for a psychologist/psychiatrist and I don't tell them about my food issues will they still want to weigh me?
                            When I was in school and bulimic, I decided to go to the on-campus therapist for a one-on-one. I didn't mention that I was bulimic. I wanted to see if she would know there was something wrong with me. At the end of the session, she actually said to me, "I don't know why you came here to see me." And I thought to myself, "Hah! Some therapist!" So I stopped going. Shockingly, she didn't magically know what was going on in my head when I didn't tell her. I wound up being bulimic for another year before I finally stopped. (This was only after I wound up going to another therapist, a psychiatrist who was patient and offered a different point of view on things, one whom I wound up trusting and being honest about my food issues, and about so many other things.)

                            If you're going to go to a doctor and/or a psychiatrist/psychologist, it will be pointless if you don't tell him or her about your food issues.

                            As difficult as it may be to talk about all the stuff that's going on, you have to give it an honest try.
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                            • You keep saying "if I can sort this out on my own" but the thing is, you can't trust yourself to decide when that is. I know that sounds harsh, but I've been there.

                              Once you're out and you look back you'll know what I'm talking about - your state of mind right now can't make that decision, you definitely need outside help.
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                              • Originally posted by JackieKessler View Post
                                When I was in school and bulimic, I decided to go to the on-campus therapist for a one-on-one. I didn't mention that I was bulimic. I wanted to see if she would know there was something wrong with me. At the end of the session, she actually said to me, "I don't know why you came here to see me." And I thought to myself, "Hah! Some therapist!" So I stopped going. Shockingly, she didn't magically know what was going on in my head when I didn't tell her. I wound up being bulimic for another year before I finally stopped. (This was only after I wound up going to another therapist, a psychiatrist who was patient and offered a different point of view on things, one whom I wound up trusting and being honest about my food issues, and about so many other things.)

                                If you're going to go to a doctor and/or a psychiatrist/psychologist, it will be pointless if you don't tell him or her about your food issues.

                                As difficult as it may be to talk about all the stuff that's going on, you have to give it an honest try.
                                I know, I mean I guess I'd tell a psychologist/psychiatrist about my food issues but I don't want to be weighed and I don't want any sort of physical check-up because I'm embarrassed about my body, so could I get a referral from a GP but say it's for other problems like depression/anxiety and then they wouldn't have to weigh me?

                                Originally posted by nixxy View Post
                                You keep saying "if I can sort this out on my own" but the thing is, you can't trust yourself to decide when that is. I know that sounds harsh, but I've been there.

                                Once you're out and you look back you'll know what I'm talking about - your state of mind right now can't make that decision, you definitely need outside help.
                                Yeah, I'm really bad at making decisions at the moment. I have an exam in less than 2 days and I've hardly studied at all because I literally can't focus or motivate myself because I keep changing my mind about how much I should be eating. And then I start obsessing over macros and types of food and I'm over-complicating everything and I know that if I keep obsessing I'll either binge or start starving myself again.


                                Btw I was supposed to be talking to a counsellor today but I didn't because I logged onto the site but I think they were busy.

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