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  • Being healthy is physically unattractive?

    I saw the thread about social aspects of healthiness, and was wondering if anyone else has ever heard negative comments about the physical side of things?

    Not too long ago a couple of my co-workers, both guys, were talking about how gross it was that they used to work with someone who had visible abs. That really surprised me as both like to lift, (though neither are trim). They spoke of this guy as if he is a freak because he has muscle definition.

    I also know a man who speaks regularly of women who are "underweight" in his opinion. Most of the women he points out as such I would consider being either trim or even slightly overweight. He even expressed concern over how thin his own father had become, while in reality his father still needed to lose a bit.

    Has anyone else ever run across negativity toward a physically fit body? It just seems a bit odd to me that the norm might have become so skewed that unfit is now seen as fit.

  • #2
    Originally posted by quidam View Post
    I saw the thread about social aspects of healthiness, and was wondering if anyone else has ever heard negative comments about the physical side of things?

    Not too long ago a couple of my co-workers, both guys, were talking about how gross it was that they used to work with someone who had visible abs. That really surprised me as both like to lift, (though neither are trim). They spoke of this guy as if he is a freak because he has muscle definition.

    I also know a man who speaks regularly of women who are "underweight" in his opinion. Most of the women he points out as such I would consider being either trim or even slightly overweight. He even expressed concern over how thin his own father had become, while in reality his father still needed to lose a bit.

    Has anyone else ever run across negativity toward a physically fit body? It just seems a bit odd to me that the norm might have become so skewed that unfit is now seen as fit.
    It sounds like the second guy has a skewed perspective of fat/thin, but the first two are possibly envious.

    The times I've 'nitpicked' other people's bodies it's always been other women, and always because I wanted to figure out what their flaws were so that I could rest assured that they were not, in fact, perfect. Since going primal I don't care as much, and have come to terms with the fact that I can only do the best with what I have. I'm still puzzled when people find certain body types attractive (namely the girls who look like they've barely gone through puberty), but it's not something I would talk about with people, because it sounds so bitter.

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    • #3
      Like I mentioned in the other thread, jealousy does have a bit to do with it, but it is also a defense mechanism. Overweight people are constantly reproached for the shape of their body and lashing out at the ideal body is a way to defend oneself, albeit a bit of a delusional one.

      Judgemental douchebagery begets judgemental douchebagery. Let's try to be a non-judgemental community. I think we are doing a decent job of it already, but there is always room for improvement.




      Stabbing conventional wisdom in its face.

      Anyone who wants to talk nutrition should PM me!

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      • #4
        I have not gotten anything but approval for the weight I've lost and how I look now but I have heard some concerns about the way I lost it. I get this from two angles. For one, I have a personal history of cancer. A couple of people have worked up the nerve to ask, "You're not sick again, are you?"
        The other angle is that there is a family history of anorexia/bulimia (my sister). A couple of people have asked, "You're not losing the weight the way your sister did, are you?"

        This is all well meaning concern for my health, or at least that's the way I choose to take it. I just smile and tell them how great I am feeling and their objections evaporate.

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        • #5
          Wow. I'm exactly the opposite! My entire family is slim because our lovely cook(coughsorrymothercough) never believed in all this low fat crap, so we've always been fed semi properly(there have been a lot of grains). So whenever I leave the house now I'm surrounded by bigger people than me standing in huge queues in front of Greggs or in supermarkets with tons of crap in their baskets and all I can think is FAT!! FAT FAT FAT!! WHY IS EVERYONE SO FAAAAT???!
          Which is a horrible and rude thing to think... But it's true. =/
          Bunny trainer extraordinaire!

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          • #6
            Originally posted by stabby View Post
            like i mentioned in the other thread, jealousy does have a bit to do with it, but it is also a defense mechanism. Overweight people are constantly reproached for the shape of their body and lashing out at the ideal body is a way to defend oneself, albeit a bit of a delusional one.[/size][/color]
            qft! a lot of the times i've 'nitpicked' a specific person was when I was at my heaviest, and it was because other people told me (as not-so-subtle hints to lose weight) about how she 'only eats salads' and 'runs five miles a day,' blah blah freakin blah.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Paleobird View Post
              I have not gotten anything but approval for the weight I've lost and how I look now but I have heard some concerns about the way I lost it.
              I hadn't thought about reactions to my own weight loss! Everyone's been happy and complimentary (sometimes to a point of discomfort), and the only ones who have expressed concern with how I lost weight have been my parents, but that's because they're the only ones who know that it's paleo/primal. I don't want to think about people saying or thinking nasty things behind my back; I don't think they are, though.

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              • #8
                I've always been seen as the "skinny" one in the family, because everyone (with the exception of my dad) put on a bunch of fat after high school/college/childbirth. This is sometimes said as if there is something wrong with me, lol!

                I am normal weight & very fit for a 5'6" 48 year old woman.

                I think one's perception can get skewed when all you see around you are people who are as fat as you are. (My family lives in Iowa.)
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                • #9
                  These reactions are a) the extreme minority, and b) grounded in peoples' own insecurities.

                  There will always be people who mock others for working to achieve something they can't or won't. Like Stabby said, it's a typical human defense mechanism to avoid having to address their own problems.

                  If you're actually wondering if a lot of people find physical fitness unattractive, spend a few hours at a nice bar/lounge. See who gets attention from the opposite sex =)

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                  • #10
                    I'm quite slim, and have heard every variation of "real men prefer curves" or "I'd rather be a real woman than a thin one" (all from other women, mind you.) I was 34-23-34 and a C-cup pre-pregnancy, so yeah, that's curvy enough for me!

                    However, I don't find "ripped" guys attractive at all. I like lean, athletic-looking guys a whole lot, but guys with crazy muscle definition, that gym-sculpted body? Total turn-off. It makes me think he has way too much time on his hands. If a guy has the kind of toned body that's clearly the byproduct of something "real" or a skill (like a surfer, runner, dancer... oh, male dancers! Or a man who does physical work for a living) it's hot, but if he has that artificial bodybuilding/gym body that's just too perfect, I assume he's probably vain and self-obsessed. It's not physically attractive to me at all when it looks "deliberate." Just me!
                    Last edited by paleo_hailey; 09-07-2011, 12:51 PM.

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                    • #11
                      I'm not real fond of super buff guys, but I'm talking more the type that obviously takes more than just food and food-based supplements with their workouts. You know, the ones that can hardly move and have very clear veins because they've overworked everything so much. And then very thin women with no musculature at all and ashen skin from not eating well I find very unattractive, but they still seem to be attractive to the public in magazines (once they've been airbrushed to death).

                      But most the pics I've seen on MDA have been very nice...

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                      • #12
                        You know that fat girl that sits in the corner of the bar? Full of anger, she sits alone and broods as all the attractive girls get the attention from all the guys? That's okay, she thinks, all those attractive girls are stupid, slutty and beneath her. If a guy from the local college's swim team were to walk up to her, she'd go home with him in a heartbeat, but we'll ignore that. These are the girls that find healthy people unattractive. It's part jealousy, part intimidation, and people hate the clubs they aren't allowed membership in. It's a shame because getting into the attractive people's club is actually pretty easy once you get educated on the basics of health. As a kid that was short, chubby and full of acne all his life, I wish I knew ten years ago what I know now. It's pretty simple to boost your energy, transform your body type, clear up your skin, get rid of your allergies and send your confidence through the roof!

                        Don't let other people bring you down because you found the solution. Help them along the way so they can find the solution, too. You could do two things with your newfound health and good looks from going primal: rub it in or spread the word. Because of my results, I have all my friends asking me for nutrition advice now. Just make sure you're spreading love, not hate with your attractiveness.
                        Don't put your trust in anyone on this forum, including me. You are the key to your own success.

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                        • #13
                          I think personal tastes come into this too. I've never been into big buff men. I like my guys kind of on the tall and skinny side. I'm attracted to lean but muscles... not entirely.

                          As for me, I don't want to be a ripped female. I love my curves. What I'm aiming to be is a Sophia Loren or a Marilyn.... and that involves a little cushion.

                          I also don't think it has to do with weight for women as much as proportion and looking healthy and like you take care of yourself. There are plenty of waify women (many of them vegans or veggies) who look like cancer patients to me. I think it just depends.

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                          • #14
                            I have had both negative and positive feedback since losing. Part of it is that I started at 142 lbs and 5'7" and lots of people would have said I was just fine at that weight. Most of my friends and family who have to lose need to lose more than I did. Most people say you look great, but I have had others tell me not to lose any more weight and be concerned about me. Because people in general carry so much more fat around than they used to, once you get lean, you look a little strange to some people, especially if you weren't always lean. The thing is, I feel so much better now, the weight loss is secondary to having energy and being able to live my life again.

                            Now if my baggyish skin would zip back in to where it belongs....
                            Karin

                            A joyful heart is good medicine

                            He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose. - Jim Elliot

                            Mmmmm. Real food is good.

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by paleo_hailey View Post
                              However, I don't find "ripped" guys attractive at all. I like lean, athletic-looking guys a whole lot, but guys with crazy muscle definition, that gym-sculpted body? Total turn-off. It makes me think he has way too much time on his hands. If a guy has the kind of toned body that's clearly the byproduct of something "real" or a skill (like a surfer, runner, dancer... oh, male dancers! Or a man who does physical work for a living) it's hot, but if he has that artificial bodybuilding/gym body that's just too perfect, I assume he's probably vain and self-obsessed. It's not physically attractive to me at all when it looks "deliberate." Just me!
                              Amen to that.
                              42 yo female; 5'8"
                              Oct 2009: 205 lbs
                              Dec 2010: 167 lbs
                              Current weight: 158 lbs (first time under 160 in 17 years!!!)
                              Goal weight: 145 lbs

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