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Being healthy is physically unattractive?

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  • #16
    I always wonder exactly what people are describing when they talk about not liking skinny women or buff guys. "ripped" could range from David Beckam to Arnold Schwartzenegger and "skinny" could range from 90 lb anorexic girls to Jessica Beil.

    Away from the internet, it seems like what people find attractive is a lot more standardized, for lack of a better word.

    What level of fitness/skinniness do you find unattractive? Most guys find that anorexic look off-putting, but are there some that truthfully don't like thin, in-shape women? I know a lot of women don't like the Arnold Schwartzenegger look, but what about Brad Pitt or Mark Wahlberg?

    Just curious. Judging from the internet, you'd think there's a group of people who think every look is attractive, but at bars and social gatherings, it seems like everyone's looking at the same person.

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    • #17
      I've copped a fair bit of criticism for my weightloss, going from 82 to 72kg @ 180cm. However, its all been from overweight people, so I just take it with a grain of salt
      Four years Primal with influences from Jaminet & Shanahan and a focus on being anti-inflammatory. Using Primal to treat CVD and prevent stents from blocking free of drugs.

      Eat creatures nose-to-tail (animal, fowl, fish, crustacea, molluscs), a large variety of vegetables (raw, cooked and fermented, including safe starches), dairy (cheese & yoghurt), occasional fruit, cocoa, turmeric & red wine

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      • #18
        Maybe its jealousy a lot of the time but I think people can push weight loss too far and start to look too gaunt. My hubby was starting to look gaunt and when he added some weight back he looked better.

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        • #19
          My ex-girlfriend and I used to eat Chinese food and Domino's Pizza everyday without fail. She would say to me that she loved my size because "guys who were broad and cuddly are sexier." In fact she hated the fact that I wanted to be lean and muscular, saying it looked too ugly and unattractive. I'm not talking ripped here, I'm talking just lean and athletic. We both was piling weight on, so I wanted to do something about it and decided to go Atkins.

          She got angry at me for it because of the way I ate, whilst she napped all day and had terrible IBS I felt amazingly healthy and spent most of the day walking the dog. When I started to lose weight, instead of praising me, she looked at me in disgust and said she didn't find me attractive anymore. Eventually, she broke up with me because I wanted to keep healthy and kicked me and the dog out of her house (was living with her at the time.)

          Of course, it made me question is being healthy unattractive because I thought she was the love of my life, but you know what? Within a week, healthier and happier girls were checking me out (even though I'm still 330 pounds, I still get this) I felt fantastic deep down because of the energy that I had, even better when I went Paleo/Primal. So do I look back on what she said as every woman's word? Hell no. I have met some amazing women. My ex was extremely abusive and violent with me, it wasn't a nice place to be, now I'm happier and the majority of women compliment me (again even whilst I'm 330 pounds, but my energy is beaming man!)

          The minority will say that it is unattractive, I've found these women to either be unhealthy and obese rather than from the healthy camp. Problem is in the UK the majority of people tend to be overweight (as I'm sure it's common in the USA too) Yet, some women that are obese still find it extremely attractive, I guess it's just a certain minority of people.

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          • #20
            Originally posted by Joshy View Post
            Most guys find that anorexic look off-putting, but are there some that truthfully don't like thin, in-shape women? I know a lot of women don't like the Arnold Schwartzenegger look, but what about Brad Pitt or Mark Wahlberg?

            Just curious. Judging from the internet, you'd think there's a group of people who think every look is attractive, but at bars and social gatherings, it seems like everyone's looking at the same person.
            The guy I mentioned actually likes "big" girls. He won't look twice at a girl who is not at least 50-70 pounds overweight. The only thing that bugs me about it is that in his eyes that's the size that people should be. He doesn't see it as being unhealthy. He sees proper weight range as unhealthy.

            I do understand that we're not all attracted to the extreme side of health, like bulging muscles or super-svelte shapes. I readily admit that for myself I do prefer men with what I call the "big, teddy-bear look"- large, soft, squishy, and no visible muscles- but I also readily admit that a guy with this build is not going to be healthy. While I'm attracted to one look, I know that health is much more important, and how he treats himself is important. I need to trade the teddy bears for a grizzly.

            What really bothers me is that I've been seeing glints of this new view of normal in a few places, and I'm wondering how many "average" people out there are embracing it outside of my little circle of friends and neighbors.

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            • #21
              ChasePaleo your girlfriend probably wanted you to be bigger than her. Also couldn't handle it when you started becoming more attractive. The dynamic in the relationship goes out of whack.

              I like tight bodies but not overly muscular ones. When a man looks fat in clothes because of huge muscle its not very attractive.
              Last edited by Sue; 09-07-2011, 04:30 PM.

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              • #22
                Originally posted by quidam View Post
                Not too long ago a couple of my co-workers, both guys, were talking about how gross it was that they used to work with someone who had visible abs. That really surprised me as both like to lift, (though neither are trim). They spoke of this guy as if he is a freak because he has muscle definition.
                Visible abs don't necessarily imply physical fitness, merely low body fat. I know there's a stigma against being super-skinny with visible abs, which makes sense because it looks similar to gross undernourishment.

                It also makes sense that excessively muscular guys and girls wouldn't be considered the epitome of sexiness, because from an evolutionary standpoint it might indicate a hormonal imbalance.
                "Thanks to the combination of meat, calcium-rich leaf foods, and a vigorous life, the early hunter-gatherers were robust, with strong skeletons, jaws, and teeth." - Harold McGee, On Food And Cooking: The Science and Lore of the Kitchen

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                • #23
                  Originally posted by Sue View Post
                  ChasePaleo your girlfriend probably wanted you to be bigger than her. Also couldn't handle it when you started becoming more attractive. The dynamic in the relationship goes out of whack.
                  Yeah, I believe so too. It was an unhealthy relationship from the start. When you move in with someone you tend to take on their habits and being an addict to takeaways didn't help! I believe that the more healthy you feel, the more attractive you will be to the majority of the opposite sex.

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                  • #24
                    Originally posted by ChasePaleo View Post
                    I believe that the more healthy you feel, the more attractive you will be to the majority of the opposite sex.
                    True. You're just more confident and fun to be around.

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                    • #25
                      For years, I was attracted to the "bear" type of guy. Tall, broad-shouldered and generally overweight, built like a retired linebacker. Looking back, I was probably attracted to that type because I figured they wouldn't be as critical of my body. Ironic, since the whole reason I had body image issues was 13 years of my overweight ex-husband telling me I needed to lose weight (one item in a long list of things he felt I needed to change).

                      Honestly, I've never been more than 30 pounds overweight, other than when I was pregnant, but it was stuck in my head that I was heavy and unattractive.

                      18 months ago, I met The Boyfriend online (yes, eHarmony - no snickering!) and he is lean. Holy crap, that was flat out scary for me. Oddly enough, he was very accepting when I put on almost 20 pounds during the first year we were together. And also incredibly happy when I lost that same weight!

                      I don't usually get negative comments about the weight I lost, probably because I'm not super thin, just a normal-looking person that isn't heavy. But I do tend to get negative comments when people learn how I lost it.
                      Durp.

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                      • #26
                        RitaRose said:
                        "Oddly enough, he was very accepting when I put on almost 20 pounds during the first year we were together. And also incredibly happy when I lost that same weight!"
                        My hubby is like that - accepts me at any weight BUT prefers me slimmer as I'm happiest then and that does wonders for our sex life!

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                        • #27
                          Perception of what is healthy is very skewed now, IMO. I think the majority of people just plain don't understand WHAT constitutes true health. The obesity epidemic has made 'overweight' into 'normal' and 'normal' into 'underweight' and the truly underweight waifs don't help the cause. The average waist size of the American woman is 34", compared to 1950 when it was 24". There has been a huge shift in the concept of what a normal body size is, because all we see around us are overweight people!

                          I think it's less about pants size and more about body composition. I don't think skinny-fat is attractive, nor do I think the pumped steroid look is. A natural, toned body with a healthy BF % is attractive, in my eyes. What form that takes varies person to person.
                          Last edited by HeatherJ; 09-07-2011, 06:53 PM.

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                          • #28
                            Wow, the fat woman hate on this thread is what I'm finding totally unattractive. I'm so grateful that there have been people in my life that have loved me and found me attractive at every size. From when I was a tiny, young thing to now, when I'm packing some extra weight and trying to do something about it. I'm not jealous. I'm not a hater, sitting in the corner of the bar brooding. I'm someone who never knew the right way to eat until now. Attraction is very individual, and what you find unattractive at either end of the spectrum, others may find very attractive. I don't even understand the point of this topic being brought up in the first place? Seems super judgey. I come here to be inspired and to exchange information, not to shallowly debate what body types are attractive (answer: all of them to someone).

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                            • #29
                              Originally posted by tigerflower View Post
                              Wow, the fat woman hate on this thread is what I'm finding totally unattractive. I'm so grateful that there have been people in my life that have loved me and found me attractive at every size. From when I was a tiny, young thing to now, when I'm packing some extra weight and trying to do something about it. I'm not jealous. I'm not a hater, sitting in the corner of the bar brooding. I'm someone who never knew the right way to eat until now. Attraction is very individual, and what you find unattractive at either end of the spectrum, others may find very attractive. I don't even understand the point of this topic being brought up in the first place? Seems super judgey. I come here to be inspired and to exchange information, not to shallowly debate what body types are attractive (answer: all of them to someone).
                              Unfortunately this forum is in a wicked "fat-bashing" phase.....a small but very vocal group of individuals try to bring it up in every thread where it can be worked in. The forum was NOT always like this, and I presume this phase will end sometime soon and we can go back to being a nutrition focused primal/paleo forum.

                              It is especially unfortunate for the new people who join and are hit with this crap right away.... I am hopeful they can stay around for the good stuff and ignore the bad. But it is annoying even for someone who has been here a year.
                              Using low lectin/nightshade free primal to control autoimmune arthritis. (And lost 50 lbs along the way )

                              http://www.krispin.com/lectin.html

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                              • #30
                                Usually if you are fat you are not your healthiest. Also with health improvement comes fat loss. I don't think it's fat bashing. Too much fat is inflammatory.

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