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Being Healthy Is Apparently Socially Unnattractive

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  • Being Healthy Is Apparently Socially Unnattractive

    Recently, I have started up a blog with my primal/paleo journey and I share the links on Facebook. A few women I know that are overweight started discussing to me how what I'm doing is highly extreme and makes doing social things extremely difficult. Within minutes it attracted the attention of the other women, they shared their opinions "Why can't you just eat sensible" "Being a health freak is unnattractive" "Health concious people are so annoying."

    This shocked me so I started to speak to one of them personally, she said to me that and I quote, "I would rather be ugly and happy then look good by having to walk on egg shells." Of course to which I said that you can actually eat egg shells, alas she did not get my humour!

    I have noticed this belief amongst my current social circle because not drinking and eating out with friends at unhealthy places is considered normal. Even my mother who is overweight has told me that eating extreme will isolate you from society.

    What is this notion of having to conform to peer pressure because the majority don't take care of their bodies? Why is making strict health choices such a bad thing? As anyone else come across this? It may just be a cultural thing (I live in the UK where drinking is considered standard in order to be social)

    What is your social life like after being Primal?
    Last edited by ChasePaleo; 09-02-2011, 11:56 AM.

  • #2
    I left peer pressure behind in high school.
    My Fitday public journal.
    Me vs. Russian Boar, hunt is on Aug. 20th. WHAT'S MORE PRIMAL THAN THAT?!
    Recently survived Warrior Dash, New England.
    Game Developer, ex-Chef, long time Fatbody.

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    • #3
      people i tell about it kind of laugh it off like is some fad or whatever. i try to make it as "unextreme" sounding as i can to people but they just dont get it
      Primal Chaos
      37yo 6'5"
      6-19-2011 393lbs 60" waist
      current 338lbs 49" waist
      goal 240lbs 35" waist

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      • #4
        I make concessions where needed. Life is really long (ideally, right?) so I'm willing to sacrifice a meal or so a week in order to enjoy my time with friends. At the same time, this doesn't mean eating absolute crap, it just means I'll eat my usual meat and vegetables but I won't pay any mind to how it was prepared, etc.

        My friends know how I eat, some have their opinions on it, they rarely get vocal about it. You have to also realize that since our society is so screwed up when it comes to food, we really are total outsiders. Our lifestyle isn't seen as "fun" at ALL.

        I've also realized that people need to be enabled, through having you participate in their (insert unhealthy activity) they in turn feel justified to continue to do so. I often don't drink when I go out with friends, they're used to it now, but when I first made the change I was met with a lot of resistance and "come on! just one drink isn't going to do anything, loosen up, have fun!" and I had to remind them that I was having plenty of fun, and would have even more fun if they would just let me be.
        I used to seriously post here, now I prefer to troll.

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        • #5
          i don't court nor count obese tv-watchers as friends.

          i've been an unpopular dude since my young days, and i take this as a sign of doing something right.

          in general, when the Crowds is against you, you're on the right path. take their stupid comments as an affirmation of your righteousness and their mental weakness.

          of course, if the cash money is on the line, you gotta be ready to ditch everything and play the game; this is moral pragmatism in it's simplest form.

          it's up to you to balance this.

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          • #6
            If people do not like how I eat, then it really is their problem. They are going to have a hard time convincing me that not eating grains and sugar is somehow "extreme". If it came down to it, I guess I'd just have to make new friends. Misery loves company, yet I prefer not to be miserable.

            Social life is pretty much the same, other than finding a hot mostly-primal girlfriend after losing a bunch of weight. =)
            5-24-10 ................ 5-24-11
            Weight: 281.......... Weight: 203

            10-11-10
            Weight: 259
            Total Cholesterol: 243
            LDL: 188
            HDL: 40
            Trig: 96

            2-18-11
            Weight: 228
            Total Cholesterol: 239
            LDL: 183 (calc), 138 (actual)
            HDL: 46
            Trig: 49

            6-23-11
            Weight: 197.2
            Total Cholesterol: 225
            LDL: 161 (calc), 120 (actual)
            HDL: 56
            Trig: 38

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            • #7
              Originally posted by iniQuity View Post
              I make concessions where needed. Life is really long (ideally, right?) so I'm willing to sacrifice a meal or so a week in order to enjoy my time with friends. At the same time, this doesn't mean eating absolute crap, it just means I'll eat my usual meat and vegetables but I won't pay any mind to how it was prepared, etc.

              My friends know how I eat, some have their opinions on it, they rarely get vocal about it. You have to also realize that since our society is so screwed up when it comes to food, we really are total outsiders. Our lifestyle isn't seen as "fun" at ALL.

              I've also realized that people need to be enabled, through having you participate in their (insert unhealthy activity) they in turn feel justified to continue to do so. I often don't drink when I go out with friends, they're used to it now, but when I first made the change I was met with a lot of resistance and "come on! just one drink isn't going to do anything, loosen up, have fun!" and I had to remind them that I was having plenty of fun, and would have even more fun if they would just let me be.
              +1. I find that if you don't make a big deal out of it, nobody else will. Do what you do and don't preach to others about what they do, and everyone can be friends.

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              • #8
                The Unknown is scary.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Yvonne PHX View Post
                  +1. I find that if you don't make a big deal out of it, nobody else will. Do what you do and don't preach to others about what they do, and everyone can be friends.
                  I was working with an overweight girl once, she wanted to buy me something to drink from starbucks. I asked for an iced green tea without sugar, she asked why I bothered to do all these 'healthy things' if I was 'so skinny' ... I asked her to consider if there was any correlation between the things I did and the way I looked. She got a green tea with less sugar than she usually did (instead of some milk-shakey sugary monstrosity she typically got). We had a casual chat about how I eat, we don't work together anymore, so I'm not sure if she ever tried to implement anything, but something tells me she probably started making small adjustments and I hope they served her well.
                  I used to seriously post here, now I prefer to troll.

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by ChasePaleo View Post
                    "I would rather be ugly and happy then look good by having to walk on egg shells."
                    To this, I would be interested in the backgound of the person saying it.

                    Can they say that they have TRIED to be healthy? Have they set out with a goal of living a healthy lifestyle, achieved that goal, and found it to be undesirable?

                    I would find it hard to believe that many people have acheived a healthy, fit, lifestyle, and found their lives to by unhappy because of it, so decided to plant themselves on the couch and pour on the pounds.

                    More likely, they may have never been fit and healthy in their adult lives, so have no basis of comparision as to which way they would be more happy.

                    OR... They look upon the fit and healthy with envy, and have made many many attempts to acheive that themselves, but, for whatever reason (misinformation, lack of resolve), have failed in thier attempts.

                    So, they sit back, bowl of chips in lap, and proclaim that THEY are the ones who are happy... failed asperations and all.

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                    • #11
                      Well, they are sort of right about social isolation: I don't turn down dinner, drinking, or night-out invitations based on their healthiness rating (although, I have to admit, in my world its just wine or sushi I'm up against, not the crap of the crap... If people were calling me up to go to Denny's I'd probably stay home).

                      Anyway, I think we all realize that being sick or overweight or feeling shitty can be unnatractive itself, so they lost me there.

                      Maybe you should move. But really, some people are just defensive about their lifestyle and their overfat, which may actually be a big bummer to them, so be gentle...

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                      • #12
                        Their problem, not mine. I would hope my friends are more intelligent than to say such silly things.
                        I'm a paleo foodie, come check out my recipes: http://strangekitty.ca/

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by davem View Post
                          I left peer pressure behind in high school.
                          +1
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                          • #14
                            maybe your friends feel there's a moral judgement behind the way you eat, and they're just feeling defensive?

                            I usually don't mention primal, I mention things like my wheat allergy, or how quitting dairy cleared up my acne (but I can still eat raw cheese), or how buying a freezer full of beef locally is fun, getting to support our open spaces and farmers, or how hilarious my chickens are & aren't the orange yolks beautiful?

                            Primal as a moral pedestal is just as annoying as veganism. I love the way I eat& the way I feel, but unless someone starts asking questions, all they see are the delicious recipes, my clear skin and reduced weight and improved health!

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                            • #15
                              It sounds like some sort of a teenage reaction trying to blow everything out of proportion? I bet you anything, if it came up tomorrow, they will be just as happy to go on about how being fat is being unsocial. I've managed to stay social drinking water at every party I attended ever, and I am in my mid-thirties. If there is nothing good there to eat, I, erm..., I don't eat, and I can't say anyone really cared.
                              My Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread57916.html
                              When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.

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