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Wife getting jealous and trying to sabotage nutrition and fitness rebirth ?

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  • Wife getting jealous and trying to sabotage nutrition and fitness rebirth ?

    My friend, in his mid 40s, has taken to fitness and nutrition like a man possessed.

    He does Crossfit several times a week.

    He has reinvented his entire diet in a Paleo style, and exhibits hardcore discipline and willpower.
    (He adds milk to his coffee, and that's his only violation)

    Needless to say, he has ramped up his fitness ability and reduced his body fat significantly.
    He looks and feels great, and this is a significant aspect of his new life.

    It is a success story that is only under a year old, but seems to be a "lifelong lifestyle" change.
    This is not just some passing bridal bootcamp phase. This is the real deal.

    His wife seems to be pushing back on his efforts.

    She complains when he takes him to go to the gym.
    This I can understand b/c she's with the kids.

    However, she even gives his grief (eye rolling) when he orders Paleo modifications at a restaurant.
    What gives? This is no skin off her back, as she's not the one cooking it.
    At home, he often prepares his own Paelo meal, so it's not a hassle for her, yet there's pushback.

    What is this about? Anyone ever experience a jealous spouse? Is this common?
    What is the underlying motivation to impede your husband's amazing progress?

    Is she threatened that he may leave her?

    That he may have higher expectations for her?
    (Wow, see how easy it is to lose weight? I did it. What's been taking you so long? I think you're full of shit and simply not trying hard enough)

  • #2
    Could be any number of things.

    She may be afraid he'll become "out of her league" or think she's no longer attractive.
    She may not like the fact that he has proven it can be done (excuses are always easier).
    She may still be thinking CW and feel it's temporary and he'll crash and burn eventually.
    She may find it embarassing to special order.

    Who knows. The only thing we can know is that her attitude is going to get old really fast. I'm thinking "self-fulfilling prophecy".
    Durp.

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    • #3
      It may be insecurity on her part, or she may really not understand and think he is being frivilous. I think it is something he should discuss with her. Let her know this is important to him and he wants her to be part of it - even if she doesn't choose to go Paleo. Does this wife happen to be a it out of shape?
      Starting Stats: Current Stats: Goal Stats:
      Weight: 283lbs Weight: 271lbs Weight: 145lbs

      We started as a work project, let's see what we become.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by RitaRose View Post
        She may be afraid he'll become "out of her league" or think she's no longer attractive.
        Winner winner chicken dinner.
        Are you a college student, trying to navigate college while being Primal? Do you know any other PB college students on a tight budget? Heck, for that matter, are YOU trying to live Primal on a budget? Enroll at Primal University!

        For after all what is man in nature? A nothing in relation to infinity, all in relation to nothing, a central point between nothing and all and infinitely far from understanding either.
        -- Blaise Pascal

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        • #5
          She's upset because he is around less to help with the kids, and she rolls her eyes at him when he makes substitutions at restaurants? That doesn't sound like "sabotage." That sounds like "spouse who doesn't understand certain principles of nutrition." He can complain about sabotage when she does stuff like take up all freezer space with Lean Cuisines, starts doing an abnormal amount of baking, forbidding him from going to the gym, telling him she doesn't like muscular guys, and disrespecting his way of eating around friends and family.
          You lousy kids! Get off my savannah!

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          • #6
            I hate to spread rumors, but he's having an affair with a younger....

            never mind!

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Grumpy Caveman View Post
              ... she rolls her eyes at him when he makes substitutions at restaurants? That doesn't sound like "sabotage."
              It sounds like someone who thinks another family member is being obsessive. Since we can't actually see him and hear him at home and haven't enough acquaintance with both of the principals we cannot know whether he really is being obsessive or not. Maybe it gets in the way of a lot of other things; maybe he never talks about anything else now, which would get on anyone's nerves. But maybe not, and she's just over-sensitive. But that's my reading: she's not "trying to sabotage him"; she just thinks, rightly or wrongly, that he's being obsessive.

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              • #8
                If she's the kind of person to not bother reading into it and judges it quickly, it doesn't matter if he talks about it all the time or just mentions it every now and then, she'll tut or roll her eyes at it. All of my friends are like that, and even if they asked me a question, as soon as I mention it they roll their eyes. Fudging annoying when they all have some sort of weight issue and can see how well it's actually working for me, but hey, you just gotta ignore themand let the results speak for themselves, right?
                Bunny trainer extraordinaire!

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                • #9
                  It's none of your business. To the extent that your friend is sharing with you you must remember you're only getting half, and a biased half, of the story. It could mean anything from a minor hiccup in the relationship to the beginning of the end.

                  A shame that kids are involved. The parents owe it to them to start actually communicating and compromising. An outhouse opinion (all you'll get on the internet): Friend sounds a bit obsessed and perhaps selfish, wife's reaction immature and maybe understandable.
                  Wheat is the new tobacco. Spread the word.

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                  • #10
                    If he's saying this to her:
                    That he may have higher expectations for her?
                    (Wow, see how easy it is to lose weight? I did it. What's been taking you so long? I think you're full of shit and simply not trying hard enough)
                    then he's earned it.

                    She could be worried he's going to leave her. This is very, very, very common when women lose weight, so why not with men? But that above statement... Yikes. Good luck to them!
                    “In God we trust; all others must bring data.” W. Edwards Deming
                    Blogging at http://loafingcactus.com

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                    • #11
                      I can definitely understand her

                      I'd hate to live with a paleotard
                      ¸.·´¯`·.¸¸><((((º> ¸.·´¯`·.¸¸><((((º>¸.·´¯`·.¸¸><((((º>¸.·´¯`·.¸¸><(( ((º>
                      ><((((º> ¸.·´¯`·.¸¸><((((º>¸.·´¯`·.¸¸><((((º>¸.·´¯`·.¸¸><(( ((º>

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