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Questions for a recovered/ing girl

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  • Questions for a recovered/ing girl

    I have been technically recovered for 2 years. However, I find myself spending over 1 hour per day logging my calories, fat grams, protein grams, and carb grams. I think about body image/food/weight/what I eat maybe 70% of the time. I have started to control weighing myself less, but is the counting
    (a) necessary to keep my macronutrient ratio in check?

    I know it's wrong but I can't loosen my grip. I really want to lose fat and I don't trust myself around food unless I'm adding up carb grams on my cell phone while people think I'm texting.
    It's ridiculous how much I think about food.
    Today, I finished a yoga class and was in savasana (corpse pose, meditation at end of practice) and my teacher asked me if I wanted a fruit juice. I responded yes to be polite more than anything, it was automatic. Then my brain went crazy:
    -What if it's CARTON JUICE?!!! How many carb grams does THAT have? Oh god, oh god, my whole day is going to be ruined. My insulin is going to spike and I'm just going to crave everything...
    -What if he USES ORANGES?! They have 35g carbs EACH. OMG!
    It turned out it was carrot-orange-apple and it was delicious. But I am worried about the way I'm thinking. Fuck.

  • #2
    I think I felt the same way as you the first time I ate sushi again :P

    This is a life plan. A bit of extra carbs one day - what difference will it make a year from now? Just another way to look at it.

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    • #3
      It seems like all the tracking and counting are very counter-productive for you, especially if one of your goals is to develop a healthier relationship with food. I think a lot of us have difficulties trusting ourselves with food because of all of the unhealthy rituals we have developed to counteract CW nonsense and a food supply that is substandard at best. Perhaps if you work first on trying to relax around food and trust the primal way, you will meet your goals and have a lot less anxiety also.
      True healthcare reform starts in your kitchen, not in Washington. ~Anonymous
      The worst carrot is better than the best candybar.--TornadoGirl

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      • #4
        You can try to wean yourself off of counting the same way you are with weighing. Try taking snap shots of "good" days and "bad" days, and let everything in between fall by the wayside, because as long as your "bad" days are manageable and infrequent you'll be winning in the long run.

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        • #5
          a way I am learning to combat this is to very loosely "plan" my day as in.. I kinda know what I want to thaw out for that day.. I do intermittent fasting because thats what I am used to so I will not "plan" my days anymore.. I just log as I go.. and it is what it is at the end of the day. As mentioned its a LIFE PLAN and everyday cannot be perfect. Thats how we developed these disorders in the first place. Trust me .. I understand what you are saying.. but as soon as I stopped planning the more free I felt with food. Yes I still have my disordered ways but Im trying very hard to break out of them.. so you have to cut the strings somewhere.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by SpunkyB. View Post
            a way I am learning to combat this is to very loosely "plan" my day as in.. I kinda know what I want to thaw out for that day.. I do intermittent fasting because thats what I am used to so I will not "plan" my days anymore.. I just log as I go.. and it is what it is at the end of the day. As mentioned its a LIFE PLAN and everyday cannot be perfect. Thats how we developed these disorders in the first place. Trust me .. I understand what you are saying.. but as soon as I stopped planning the more free I felt with food. Yes I still have my disordered ways but Im trying very hard to break out of them.. so you have to cut the strings somewhere.
            Ok I'm gonna give it a go!

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