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Advice on going primal after disordered eating/too much dieting??!

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  • Advice on going primal after disordered eating/too much dieting??!

    Hi everybody, I'm new to the boards and not much of a forum girl so i apologize if i'm doing things incorrectly! I've been trying primal on and off since last fall and have stuck to it for maybe 3 weeks now, loving it so far.

    But..okay to be honest, i'm kind of over whelmed about it all. I mean i'm doing this for the right reasons as far as i can tell but i come from a kind of messed-up attitude about food. Ive had disordered eating or possibly an eating disorder for a few years on and off, tried about every crash diet there is (including raw...shoot me now), and i just really want to do this RIGHT. I wouldn't mind losing a few but i'm not over-weight at all (college girl, and i do lots of aerobics, and coach youth cheer) and i know once I start to lose i get out of control. got down to a BMI of 17 or so last year (which is under-weight) and people were concerned, but really i haven't ever felt as good about my body as i felt then. I know that it isn't healthy to think that way and i'm trying to change but it's how i feel.

    I guess I find primal appealing because its so natural and makes sense, and the stuff i've been doing really doesn't make any sense and i'm kind of tired of eating rice cakes and hating myself all the time. and i do have a hard time knowing what's a problem and what's not, because my cousin has a "real" eating disorder so most of the time i think i'm just being drama-rama about it all. i mean i've dieted, gotten too skinny, done dumb stuff, but it's not like I'm in the hospital, you know?

    Can anybody out there relate? Having a past with yoyo diets or disordered eating or eating disorders? Wanting to lose weight but not wanting to go loony tunes with it? and maybe shouldn't be losing anyway? How do I let myself lose what my body wants...will my body just know? should i weigh myself or not? And does it get any easier not counting every bite? lol. I guess i just feel kind of alone and over whelmed and was hoping somebody out there might have something to relate...

    On the up side i love how being primal makes me feel!!! trying to think about that instead.

    Sorry for the looong post. Have a good night!!

    xo Kaylie

  • #2
    Originally posted by Kaylie View Post
    Hi everybody, I'm new to the boards and not much of a forum girl so i apologize if i'm doing things incorrectly! I've been trying primal on and off since last fall and have stuck to it for maybe 3 weeks now, loving it so far.

    But..okay to be honest, i'm kind of over whelmed about it all. I mean i'm doing this for the right reasons as far as i can tell but i come from a kind of messed-up attitude about food. Ive had disordered eating or possibly an eating disorder for a few years on and off, tried about every crash diet there is (including raw...shoot me now), and i just really want to do this RIGHT. I wouldn't mind losing a few but i'm not over-weight at all (college girl, and i do lots of aerobics, and coach youth cheer) and i know once I start to lose i get out of control. got down to a BMI of 17 or so last year (which is under-weight) and people were concerned, but really i haven't ever felt as good about my body as i felt then. I know that it isn't healthy to think that way and i'm trying to change but it's how i feel.

    I guess I find primal appealing because its so natural and makes sense, and the stuff i've been doing really doesn't make any sense and i'm kind of tired of eating rice cakes and hating myself all the time. and i do have a hard time knowing what's a problem and what's not, because my cousin has a "real" eating disorder so most of the time i think i'm just being drama-rama about it all. i mean i've dieted, gotten too skinny, done dumb stuff, but it's not like I'm in the hospital, you know?

    Can anybody out there relate? Having a past with yoyo diets or disordered eating or eating disorders? Wanting to lose weight but not wanting to go loony tunes with it? and maybe shouldn't be losing anyway? How do I let myself lose what my body wants...will my body just know? should i weigh myself or not? And does it get any easier not counting every bite? lol. I guess i just feel kind of alone and over whelmed and was hoping somebody out there might have something to relate...

    On the up side i love how being primal makes me feel!!! trying to think about that instead.

    Sorry for the looong post. Have a good night!!

    xo Kaylie
    Hey Kaylie, I know how you feel. I have been recovered for 2 years now. I also never got to the hospital point but still was very unhealthy. My BMI never dropped under 19 (it was 19.2 or something) but I had lost 20 lbs in a very, very unhealthy way and mentally I was just screwed and depressed.

    I think Primal is really cool because you sort of are re-teaching your body how to eat. I'm trying to lose currently because I gained a little bit too much in recovery but I'm doing it slowly and healthily. I've been Primal for 1-2 weeks.
    I've stopped counting calories as much but I was counting carb grams just to stay below 100g/day. Just DON'T let it get obsessive. Don't let it become an extremist thing, allow yourself "cheats". Try to listen to your body and not by the clock or by the numbers on the scale/your head.
    I'd say DON'T weigh in. I was weighing obsessively (5-6x a day) before I started Primal and now I feel so healthy and strong that I don't even feel the need to weigh in. I am gonna try every 3-4 days maximum.
    Message me if you want to talk/vent!

    Comment


    • #3
      OH AND: don't do the IF (intermittent fasting)! Too triggering.

      Comment


      • #4
        Hello!

        Been there, done that, got the crappy T-shirt.

        1. Throw your scale away.
        2. Don't IF.
        3. Don't even look at the Whole30 threads.
        4. Just spend this time right now getting in touch with what your body is telling you and listening for hunger cues. (Harder than it seems and will take some time, and sometimes you'll stumble a bit. It's OK.)

        Nice to have you here! There's been a lot of recovery here at MDA.
        "Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food." -- Hippocrates

        Comment


        • #5
          Tanya, you just made my day so much!! I HAVE been doing IF (it sounded so nice and safe) and i know i shouldn't be. Counting carbs is for sure a hard part for me, too.

          I think it's harder in a way to come out of eating disorder habits if you aren't even in the hospital or way under-weight. It's like...is there even a problem? and sometimes i would like to just say there ISN'T because then i wouldn't have to deal with it, but i do know that (like what you said) the things i've done haven't been good for my body.

          i am definitely hoping this will reteach my body. i'm really happy to hear about your experience with this and it is SO nice to hear that somebody else gets it! thank you.

          xo Kaylie

          Comment


          • #6
            thank you as well, TigerLily!! I was afraid i would be the only one...haven't seen Whole30 yet and will take your advice and stay away.

            I'm trying to figure out what "hungry" really is. you are so right that it's harder than it seems!!

            xo Kaylie

            Comment


            • #7
              theres a book called 'its not about the food' which is based on learning to observe yourself and your actions/feelings. you need to accept getting better and accept primal food/eating and accept learning to listen to your body responses/urges/desires and following them.

              i have a blog, you should read through some of my older stuff it should help you make the 'click' in your head you need to get on the right path. there is not and will never be right or wrong. there isnt anything about primal you can screw up or you can/cant do. take that attitude and learn to use food to nourish yourself.

              i have been on the road to recovery for about 5 years, orginially being diagnosed with a BMI of 12.8. i never went to the hospital. it takes a strong willpower to get better, you cannnnnooooottttt be 'nice' to your ED. there is no babying, there is no complaining. you accept recovery and you act in the right manner. you know right from wrong, and ultimately you have the determination to keep on the right side of the fence. no one can recover from an eating disorder for you. no one can tell you HOW to recover. what people can do, is help you 'see' what you need to accept, and help things click in your mind so you understand why your doing the right thing.

              the easiet answer to your endless questions, ill give you my personal experience

              *i couldnt force my brain to accept not weighing....so i took a sledge hammer to my scale. that is an act i COULD do

              *i could stop exercising... so i made it the job of others(my family) to see to it i DID NOT DO ANY ACTIVITY. this is really hard for a person with an ED, its not giving up exercising or weighing, it is giving UP CONTROL. part of recovery is observing wherre you need control and where it should be focused.

              *i always had mental tallies in my head. i stopped writing numbers down. i ate around people(THIS IS A BIGGIE!!!). the mental number running goes away once you cure malnourishment but the conditioned act of tallying food is something you learned form your ed and the environment and is your sheer willpower to change it. sudoku seems to help...?? haha

              trust me, it gets easier. the initial leap is hard and i have yet to see an anorexic in the blogworld or real life who has made that jump AND stuck with it. your mind is a powerful thing, amazing control up there, and allowing it nourishment to recover is really hard but look at the payoff. look at what you want in life and ask yourself where disordered eating fits in.
              Last edited by MalPaz; 04-19-2011, 06:20 PM.
              Get on my Level
              http://malpaz.wordpress.com/

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by MalPaz View Post
                theres a book called 'its not about the food' which is based on learning to observe yourself and your actions/feelings. you need to accept getting better and accept primal food/eating and accept learning to listen to your body responses/urges/desires and following them.

                i have a blog, you should read through some of my older stuff it should help you make the 'click' in your head you need to get on the right path. there is not and will never be right or wrong. there isnt anything about primal you can screw up or you can/cant do. take that attitude and learn to use food to nourish yourself.

                i have been on the road to recovery for about 5 years, orginially being diagnosed with a BMI of 12.8. i never went to the hospital. it takes a strong willpower to get better, you cannnnnooooottttt be 'nice' to your ED. there is no babying, there is no complaining. you accept recovery and you act in the right manner. you know right from wrong, and ultimately you have the determination to keep on the right side of the fence. no one can recover from an eating disorder for you. no one can tell you HOW to recover. what people can do, is help you 'see' what you need to accept, and help things click in your mind so you understand why your doing the right thing.

                the easiet answer to your endless questions, ill give you my personal experience

                *i couldnt force my brain to accept not weighing....so i took a sledge hammer to my scale. that is an act i COULD do

                *i could stop exercising... so i made it the job of others(my family) to see to it i DID NOT DO ANY ACTIVITY. this is really hard for a person with an ED, its not giving up exercising or weighing, it is giving UP CONTROL. part of recovery is observing wherre you need control and where it should be focused.

                *i always had mental tallies in my head. i stopped writing numbers down. i ate around people(THIS IS A BIGGIE!!!). the mental number running goes away once you cure malnourishment but the conditioned act of tallying food is something you learned form your ed and the environment and is your sheer willpower to change it. sudoku seems to help...?? haha

                trust me, it gets easier. the initial leap is hard and i have yet to see an anorexic in the blogworld or real life who has made that jump AND stuck with it. your mind is a powerful thing, amazing control up there, and allowing it nourishment to recover is really hard but look at the payoff. look at what you want in life and ask yourself where disordered eating fits in.
                Wow malpaz! Nice job on giving your life another shot!!

                Comment


                • #9
                  James Greenblatt, MD, Author of Answers to Anorexia

                  check out this doctors blgo too...HE IS AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
                  Get on my Level
                  http://malpaz.wordpress.com/

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Hey guys,

                    I'm soooooo glad I found this thread. I was in treatment for ED (anorexia, compulsive over exercise, orthorexia etc) and got out March 27. I've been having a HUGE problem following my meal plan, though, because it's based on the USDA food pyramid ie tons of carbs. We have to eat a lot of grains, but sweet potatoes and squash count as grains, so I've been trying to eat those ... BUT i know the benefits of the PB and dunno what to do. I'm not on a weight gaining program, but know I've gained weight in undesirable places and it SUCKS for ED and is killing me. I'm just not sure what I should do, I'm eating 6 times a day with little exercise (just lots of walking) which is fine, but I feel like food choices need to change, because I'm jumping out of my skin with fear of what I'm doing to my body.

                    Anyways, any input would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

                    Rachel

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      As you can see, we are actually a few on this board (that would include me) trying to recover from EDs.

                      I started out about 5 years ago as an anorexic, but have been leaning more towards bulimia the last year, and am pretty much in the same boat as you. I'm doing better on PB than I was before. I'm still trying to learn to listen and respond to the right signals. Like, if I'm tired and out of energy, I'm always a little scared to eat, because "what if it's not because I didn't eat enough? I'm gonna gain now!", but I'm trying hard not to think/act that way.

                      Originally posted by rizzo02481
                      We have to eat a lot of grains, but sweet potatoes and squash count as grains, so I've been trying to eat those ... BUT i know the benefits of the PB and dunno what to do.
                      Same problem here, and I'm actually still in treatment, but they won't accept that I don't eat according to their recommandations, so I have to cut contact to the psychologist - you need to take the whole package, and I can't do that.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I cant offer any advice on EDs, because my issue was I was huge no matter what, and even an ED could not have helped!

                        I like the idea of not weighing, don't count calories/carbs so much, and avoid the IF bandwagon. Some people on here think IF is the fix for everything, including war, the economy, and cancer...

                        Just read Mark's book, live it, and relax. Things will sort themselves out. As far as food, focus on the right choices for you rather than grams. Your body will do the rest. Good luck!

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Mine ED issues have been more along the lines of bingeing and restricting.

                          I threw out my scales. I don't IF, I keep my focus on maintaining a steady intake of nutritious primal foods.

                          I don't have it all sussed, but it's getting better.

                          Oh and if you don't lose weight, or even gain a bit, don't panic. With your history it'll be muscle and other healthy lean tissues. The stuff you want. After I switched to a high protein wholefoods diet, I was the same size as before but weighed 15lbs more. Fabulous change in body composition.
                          Gluten intolerance and hypermobility syndrome http://www.cfids.org/pdf/joint-hypermobility-guide.pdf

                          Eat food. Mostly real. Enjoy life.

                          Health, energy, wellbeing, vitality, joy, LIFE! Health At Every Size

                          "Do not ask what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive."
                          Harold Whitman

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Horsewoman View Post
                            Mine ED issues have been more along the lines of bingeing and restricting.

                            I threw out my scales. I don't IF, I keep my focus on maintaining a steady intake of nutritious primal foods.

                            I don't have it all sussed, but it's getting better.
                            Ditto this. I find sticking to the basics and not sweating the small stuff works best for me. I was weighing daily and that was crazy-making, so I only pull it out once a month now.

                            If an IF happens naturally, I'll roll with it, but I do not plan IFs. If I'm truly hungry, I'll eat. I definitely don't look at IFs as a "punishment" for eating off-plan. If I eat off-plan for whatever reason, I just get right back on at the next meal.

                            I tried fasted training a couple times and felt like crap, so I went back to what works for me, which is eating something small before a morning workout. There are some people here who would criticize me for not "maximizing" the opportunity of my workout, but a big part of the reason I work out is to feel good and I'd rather feel good doing it.

                            There are some people who would look at my typical day of 3 meals a day with a snack here and there (not every day or between every meal, but when it feels needed because of hunger/practicality) and tell me I need to just power through the hunger and make it to the next meal or just eat a meal instead of a snack. I ignore them as well because this works for me (and again, it's practical and sustainable and stress-reducing - I don't want to feel all wigged out because I had an apple at the office at 4 p.m because I was hungry and had dinner plans later on so I couldn't just "eat a whole meal" at 4 because that was somehow "better." Better for me is, again, what works for me and my lifestyle.)

                            I think the biggest thing is NOT to get caught up in some of the rhetoric on this board - there are a lot of people who've always had a "normal" relationship with food who will put out what they do like it will work for everyone. Well, it might not, and you have to know what your own triggers are and make sure that what you do (and don't do) helps you to manage those.

                            Personally, I eat this way because it feels good, it feels sustainable, and I don't feel like I'm hanging on by my fingernails trying to stay "on the diet." I don't look at 80/20 as a "license to cheat" but I do look at it as a "license to chill the f**k out" and not stress to the nth degree about everything that does or doesn't go in my mouth.
                            "Sometimes, you need to make sure the angel on your shoulder has a wingman." -Me

                            My primal log

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Everybody...thanks!! I am so happy to find out how much support + understanding there is here. Malpaz, your info is way appreciated and everybody else too. I'm for sure trying to not stress about every little thing...its just hard. And i think a big part of it is part of me still thinking I don't have/did not have a "real" problem. Since i've never been in a treatment program or anything it just seems like i'm making a big deal of nothing.

                              Any of you chicas have any particular advice on the whole loving + accepting your body thing? (even people who haven't had an eating disorder in the past?) I've been trying to not weigh and to focus on healthy primal choices but i CAN NOT stop stressing about "getting fat!!" I know it's stupid, but it's just really hard. Has it gotten easier for any of you to appreciate/be OK with your bodies and not go crazy all the time?

                              thank you all SO much for sharing. You are all awesome!!

                              xo Kaylie

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