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CRAP. Dinner at friends' house and just told the menu

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  • CRAP. Dinner at friends' house and just told the menu

    Ok, I really need some advice -- please chime in with the best you got!

    We've been trying to plan an evening with a couple for 2 months or so but kept having conflicts with the date. As we've been making the plans, I offered to 1) have them to our place instead so I could control the food, and when that didn't work (it's our turn to go there essentially) 2) offered to bring food (as in the meat/main dish).

    She shot that too and told me she would let me know what she was having, and I could bring a side. Last time we had dinner with them they cooked burgers on the grill, and we've had chicken there before too. I knew I could work around something like that.

    Well, she didn't let me know until this morning that they are having SPAGHETTI AND MEATBALLS!!!! Damn it! The one thing I knew I couldn't really work around was PASTA!

    In hindsight, I should have told her anything but pasta would be great, but I didn't. It's too late to say anything now, as she doesn't have time to shop for a new menu.

    I can bring a nice salad and eat the meatballs (which I'm gonna assume will have breadcrumbs in them), but any other suggestions???

    I really don't want to eat pasta!

    **We are also having drinks - I will be a serious lightweight since I haven't had a drink since New Year's Eve, and I'm making Norcal Margarita (Wolf margaritas) - very excited about that. But the prospect of eating pasta or rudely picking around my plate is making me dread the evening.

    **This is a great couple who we always have fun with (I work with the husband and believe it or not, I taught the wife years ago), but we are not best buds. They would look at me like I had a third eyeball if I told them I can't eat grains.

    **Yeah, I'm a wuss - I have not learned how to navigate these situations except if eating at my folks' or brother and sis-in-law's.
    My journal

  • #2
    1) Either realize that one night of pasta isn't going to kill you

    or 2) Just let her know that you'd LOVE some meatballs but pasta isn't agreeing with you at the moment so you'll just have the meatballs and salad. That will still fill enough of your plate that it won't look like you're starving.

    And maybe start the rumor for the future that you seem to be gluten intolerant and that you haven't found a grain that doesn't cause problems?
    Liz.

    Zone diet on and off for several years....worked, but too much focus on exact meal composition
    Primal since July 2010...skinniest I've ever been and the least stressed about food

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    • #3
      My feeling would be that if you don't have any health issue like an auto immune issue to just enjoy the night and not worry about it. If you do have type of autoimmunity then I would just tell her that my doctor told me I can't grains and I didn't want to be difficult. If you don't mind I'm going to have the salad and meatball. Put it back on the doctor as opposed to just saying it's your choice.

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      • #4
        Without sounding like a jerk, just deal with it. You control your food intake 99% of the time, it seems like. They're treating you to supper and you ought to enjoy yourself and have a great evening.

        So my advice is for you to allow yourself to have fun and just eat what's laid out (within reason). Obviously, you can limit some of the "damage" in ways you've already laid out. That said, the spaghetti won't turn into a massive worm inside your body, tear you apart from the inside and swallow your soul. You'll just feel a bit crappy after the meal/the next morning.
        August 2010: 207 lb, 37" waist, 25+% BF | Currently: 177 lb, 33" waist, ~15% BF

        I have a new site up and will soon be blogging at The Wayward Mind. (My journal is semi-retired at this point)

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        • #5
          Bring the salad with plenty of boiled egg and bacon But only eat the pasta if you want to eat it. Consider a high protein snack beforehand. Also consider bringing a primal appetizer and maybe some primal truffles if you like chocolate so that you can enjoy dessert.

          Focus more on the company which you said you enjoy rather than the food. it's just one meal.
          True healthcare reform starts in your kitchen, not in Washington. ~Anonymous
          The worst carrot is better than the best candybar.--TornadoGirl

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Patrick View Post
            They're treating you to supper and you ought to enjoy yourself and have a great evening.
            This. I was in a similar situation but with a new gourmet pizza place. My buddy had been wanting to go for months and schedules finally synced. We went, I ate pizza, it was good, and I was not struck down by a bolt of primal lightning.

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            • #7
              That's what the 20% is for. Pasta bothers me a LOT less than waffles.

              Gordo

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              • #8
                Thanks, all, for providing me with some perspective... yeah, I will chill and just have fun. I like the idea of rocking the salad with some hard boiled eggs and bacon.

                I will see how it goes and likely eat a minimal amount of the pasta - what I've learned is that I'll be bloated as hell and gassy, but hopefully that won't kick in until I get home - ha.

                **let me add that I just finished rockin' the whole30 program and have been FEELING SO GOOD ... I know not wanting to disrupt the nice healthy equilibrium is part of why I freaked when she said spag. and meatballs... oh, and I guess there will be garlic bread too. I got this.
                My journal

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                • #9
                  You ought to punch her over and over and over and don't stop until all the bones in your hand are broken.
                  You lousy kids! Get off my savannah!

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Grumpy Caveman View Post
                    You ought to punch her over and over and over and don't stop until all the bones in your hand are broken.
                    Grumpy, that was my plan B ;-)

                    *On a serious note, I've had a realization that it's time for me to come out of the primal closet - I'm not in any way ashamed of this WOE, I just don't relish the idea of explaining it to people who will simply not get it. But, being "out" will make it easier in the long run, and who knows, maybe I'll get a few converts a long the way.

                    Thanks all!
                    My journal

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                    • #11
                      For goodness sake, just tell her that you recently learned you are gluten-sensitive and skip the damn pasta!
                      Ancestral Nutrition Coaching
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                      • #12
                        I feel your pain. I too have a hard time telling people about my eating restrictions when it comes time to dining at others. I have learned recently that I do have an autoimmune disease where gluten causes flares so I am getting better. We are going to friends for the Super Bowl and they are planning on pizza and appetizers. Well pizza isn't going to work for me so we are bringing cold shrimp and an artichoke dip with regular crackers and rice crackers. I can have those and the veggie tray so no big deal really. She does know I can't have gluten so shouldn't be a big deal. Thankfully everyone is bringing something so it is no big deal to bring the shrimp and artichoke dip.

                        If you bloat from pasta I would just take the meatballs and if anyone says anything just explain that pasta does not agree with you. Best of luck and hope you have a good evening.

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                        • #13
                          Bring a side of spaghetti squash, or zucchini sphagetti.

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                          • #14
                            You could gently tell her that you've recently discovered a wheat allergy, so you're going to have to avoid the spaghetti because it's made of wheat, but you'd love to eat the meatballs and the salad. Check to see if there are breadcrumbs in the meatballs, too. If you frame it as a recently-discovered medical condition, she really can't get angry legitimately.
                            Primal eating in a nutshell: If you are hungry, eat Primal food until you are satisfied (not stuffed). Then stop. Wait until you're hungry again. Repeat.

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                            • #15
                              I have just come to the realization that I am not going to let others control my diet. Yes I understand that these things will not kill you but ultimately I would just rather not eat them. At this point all my friends understand my diet. I discuss it when asked but don't make a big deal out of it. Most times there is something I can eat. I don't make a big deal out of it so others don't. I don't stress about it but I have found that the less grains and crap that I eat the better I feel. Actually the less I eat of that stuff the less I desire it.
                              Check out my primal blog: http://primalroar.posterous.com/

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