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  • Eating at someone else's place...

    I spent Christmas and Boxing Day at three different homes (none of them my own) and had some difficulties with the food options available. I made sure ahead of time to make my food requirements known - plenty of protein, few carbs, plenty of fat. Because of blood sugar issues too much carbs really affects me - makes me feel really ill when I come down off the high - I've tried to explain this to all family and friends that have catered for me and they've been rather understanding. On the fat issue though - I find now I need plenty of fat to feel alert and headache-free - and this one hasn't been understood (or maybe accepted?) by some.

    Over the Christmas period I was served several meals that were absolutely devoid of fat (it had all been drained, grilled, lean cuts etc). By the end of it all I felt very ill. I'm kind of at a brick wall with some people because they think they are saving me from myself and from imminent heart disease by making sure there is no fat in my meal. I'm thinking in future I need to carry a small jar of coconut oil or olive oil with me for occasions like these so I can provide my own fat content.

    I'm just curious if anyone else has come across this problem and what you do about it. Obviously you have to accept other people's limitations on what they are willing to accept that is in opposition to common wisdom. At the same time you need to look after your body's needs and try to do so without offending anyone.

  • #2
    I feel you: you're kind of at the mercy of your hosts. I tend to make sure I eat something beforehand (so I won't be starving) or bring along a dish I know I can eat: either overtly as part of the meal, or covertly- nuts and beef jerky are pretty much always in my purse!

    I have been caught before at a fairly grueling baby shower: Lunch was a spinach salad with berries and a very lean chicken breast. I was running late, so I hadn't eaten since dinner the night before, and we were there for 4 hours in the later afternoon. The fondant-iced cupcakes, dinner rolls, jellybean-filled favors, and candy-bar prizes were not an option. I was so miserable, even with the salad. Ugh!
    With Mark's help, I've conquered depression, acne, rosacea, scale obsession, migraines, and lethargy. Who knows what tomorrow will bring?

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    • #3
      You can't expect your host to construct their meals in a manner that matches your preffered macronutrient ratio. That is just bull. Eating lean meats and veggies without fat for a 5 hour period won't make you ill, not even when it's repeated over a few days: Sounds like you're pissing yourself. If you're so worried, either eat fattier-than-usual meals before going to the dinner party, or ask the host to put some olive oil on the table so you can bathe everything in it Italian style.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Pandadude View Post
        Eating lean meats and veggies without fat for a 5 hour period won't make you ill, not even when it's repeated over a few days
        Sorry, but you're wrong - it does make me ill - not in the throw up way but in the insane headache and fatigue way. I am not a well person and very small things affect me in big ways. (If you haven't spent years suffering from severe pain and fatigue this might be hard to understand - I probably wouldn't really believe it myself if not for having experienced it for myself).

        My family have all seen how sick I've been over the years and care about me - if they didn't want to ensure I could eat their meals we wouldn't have the discussion - I'd bring my own food if possible or if not possible (like over several days) just stay home. They are really happy that this diet is working for me but some are just having trouble getting their head around the fact that fat is okay to eat and is really helping my wellbeing.

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        • #5
          i get the same fatigue, headache, and a severe stomach ache when i omit fat from my diet, even within a few hour period. lean foods are very difficult for me to digest, so i get you completely! i use the holiday as an opportunity to throw out there many many times that it is a holiday, time to be "BAD" (bad for the cw's, good for us) and eat bacon wrapped stuff! lots of butter on the table! fatty meats! "it is holiday, time to splurge!" i declare weeks ahead of said holiday. give them a few holidays to get used to it, and soon you may rub off on them a little. my in-laws threw the skin away from the turkey every holiday. then i came along. "are you really throwing it all away?! what a shame! fat is good for ya. why even eat the bird if you can't taste it!!" slowly they decided to "spoil themselves" and put out the cheese and nut platter. cover the bird in oil. treat the fatty skin like gold. stock up on bacon for the holiday brunch.
          i think my entry into that family was a slight novelty to them. the girl who picked the skin from everyone's plates and worships bacon. then they joined in the fun!

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          • #6
            I think carrying a small bottle of olive oil with you is a really good idea. if you don't feel comfortable using it at the dinner table, you could always excuse yourself to go to the bathroom and have a few swigs before you start your meal.

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            • #7
              Alright then. If one/some of your family members are willing to read it, this is a great unbiased article on fat and the history of the fat/heart disease hypothesy, without forcing the caveman/paleo stuff that turns a lot of people off: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22116724
              Ofc this doesn't say that you need to eat a bunch of fat, it just says it isn't unhealthy.
              I don't know if you're doing a ketogenic diet, or what kind of issue you're having, but it is worth noting that ketogenic diets are used clinically to treat brain disorders such as epilepsy and Alzheimers: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2367001/

              Rather than swigging olive oil, I would personally be more comfortable snacking on fatty nuts or very dark chocolate, or drink heavy whipping cream diluted with water (like 50/50) with your dinner instead of straight up water. This is assuming you tolerate these foods.
              Last edited by Pandadude; 01-09-2011, 07:00 AM.

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              • #8
                Also, cook up a bunch of bacon, wait for it to cool, stick 'em in ziplock bags and put them in the fridge. Carry some when you know you're going someplace where your options might be limited (in terms of fat). Eat a half-strip... or three. Should help if/when having olive oil isn't feasible. I think someone else also mentioned nuts, and that's a great option, too!
                August 2010: 207 lb, 37" waist, 25+% BF | Currently: 177 lb, 33" waist, ~15% BF

                I have a new site up and will soon be blogging at The Wayward Mind. (My journal is semi-retired at this point)

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                • #9
                  It's great that your family is supportive. I love cookie's approach!

                  Whether I'm hosting or visiting, I don't like the expectation that host offerings should suit every individual's particular quirks. I have backyard bonfire/grill parties frequently, and several of my friends/relatives are vegetarian. They don't expect me to find the specific kinds of faux sausage (or whatever) they want. Sometimes I get something along those lines, sometimes they bring what they want to eat, always there are a variety of things different people can eat. But if someone tells me ahead of time that they can only tolerate extra special XX or super specific YYY, they are likely to arrive and not find it.

                  Social occasions are for socializing, and it's supposed to be fun for the hosts as well as the guests. Driving all around town looking for Brand X etc. to meet each person's preferences is not going to happen. Before I started eating good real food, I sure wouldn't have catered to someone /invited to my home/ who said they needed me to do special shopping for pastured this or free-range that.

                  So, at Christmas and other holiday gatherings, I didn't tell people (family and others) what they needed to do to feed me. I took a large pate', I made a beet salad, I roasted a duck, etc. My sister served literally NOTHING at Christmas that I wanted to eat (ham, cheesy corn, rolls, sweetened yams, etc., etc.). No big deal, I ate a ton of pate' and homemade sauerkraut -- both of which I also offered to everyone else -- and was perfectly content. At other events over the course of the season I sometimes fasted, sometimes found some shrimp or bacon or something else reasonably clean, and got on with the socializing instead of focusing on food.

                  tl;dr: It's rude to expect hosts to meet your food "requirements"; meet them yourself and show interested others how good this way of life is.
                  "If man made it, don't eat it." ..Jack LaLanne
                  "It doesn't matter how beautiful your theory is, it doesn't matter how smart you are.
                  If it doesn't agree with experiment, it's wrong." ..Richard Feynman

                  beachrat's new primal journal

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                  • #10
                    There is stuff called oil...it is very portable. Bring some with you. It comes in both liquid and solid forms!

                    Edit: there is also something called personal responsibility. I am prescribing some. Please take it.
                    Last edited by Lojasmo; 01-09-2011, 07:40 AM.

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                    • #11
                      If you're worried about oil leaking in your pocket or bag or dripping down the side of the bottle, may I make a suggestion?

                      Baby Test Tubes: http://www.stevespanglerscience.com/product/test-tubes

                      These are soda bottles before they're blown up. Good seal, and they hold a decent amount of dressing or oil or whatever. Me still being paranoid about things leaking in my purse, I'd still stick them in a baggie.

                      Mine are about to go with me everywhere, just 'cause they're so handy and I can keep spices in them too! My mom got them for me on Amazon.
                      Last edited by Twibble; 01-09-2011, 08:35 AM. Reason: Add more
                      Most people don't realize how much energy it takes for me to pretend to be normal.

                      If I wanted to listen to an asshole, I'd fart.

                      Twibble's Twibbly Wibbly

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                      • #12
                        I thought you meant test tubes that babies are made in... lol

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                        • #13
                          If it's just one meal, I follow the suggestions that others have given -- eat beforehand, bring something to share, etc.

                          If I'm staying with someone for a couple of days, I bring a cooler of food with me or hit the grocery store as soon as I get there. Depending on the circumstances, I'll either offer to cook for everyone in the house, or I'll just supplement with my own food.

                          I always discuss it with my host ahead of time, so they know not to be offended, but I never expect them to cater to me.
                          I am Cavewoman, hear me GRUNT!
                          http://horndivaxtal.blogspot.com/

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                          • #14
                            If you're okay with dairy, I find cheese is useful to keep a stash of. You can get it in small packs, it's high fat, keeps ok at room temp for a few days, is "clean" to eat (unlike greasy bacon fingers ), and most don't smell if you're trying to be discreet.
                            I also like the idea of asking for olive oil on the table to "dress" food. Even CW says olive oil is healthy

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by jspradley View Post
                              I thought you meant test tubes that babies are made in... lol
                              I don't eat the contents of those, contrary to popular belief.
                              Most people don't realize how much energy it takes for me to pretend to be normal.

                              If I wanted to listen to an asshole, I'd fart.

                              Twibble's Twibbly Wibbly

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