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How do you handle dinners at other people's houses?

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  • How do you handle dinners at other people's houses?

    My husband and I were invited to some friend's house for dinner. I didn't want to refuse because of food, but I am worried. We don't know them very well and I would feel rude saying I don't eat such and such. So have do most of you handle that?

  • #2
    Hmm. Two options:
    1) Let them know ahead of time that you have dietary restrictions (no gluten) without getting into why.
    2) Just eat it and call it part of your 20%.

    Some people can get away with option #2 a lot more easily than others, though!
    "Trust me, you will soon enter a magical land full of delicious steakflowers, with butterbacons fluttering around over the extremely rompable grass and hillsides."

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    • #3
      I don't do much social eating, so on the rare occasion that I do, I just suck it up, try to eat mostly the paleo-friendly stuff, and don't stress about it.

      During this Whole 30 month, I'd probably decline the invitation unless it was from someone (like my mom) who I wouldn't mind asking to have a paleo option.
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      • #4
        Originally posted by BarbeyGirl View Post
        I don't do much social eating, so on the rare occasion that I do, I just suck it up, try to eat mostly the paleo-friendly stuff, and don't stress about it.

        During this Whole 30 month, I'd probably decline the invitation unless it was from someone (like my mom) who I wouldn't mind asking to have a paleo option.
        The Whole30 is the problem. I am trying to do that and I was already derailed because of a weekend trip to friends where eating was totally out of my control. I already know that gluten is an issue and I suspect dairy is also. Trying to get rid of it so I can determine for sure. I have only made it 5 days so far both times.

        hmmm.... We already accepted the invite. I guess I will make the best of it and hope there is food I can eat without gluten or dairy.

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        • #5
          Eat before you go, and while you are there eat only primal friendly foods. Hopefully they have a salad at least. If they question you tell them you are working on figuring out if you have food intolerances so you have to be careful with what you eat. Which is true, and it puts a medical spin on it which is difficult to argue with.
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          • #6
            Eat around the non-primal stuff. If they try to force it on you or question you, make it sound like you have a medical condition. Tell them that grains give you "issues" and leave it at that. Make it "digestive issues" and they're sure to drop it and go along. That's what I do.

            When I'm eating over at a friend's place I'll get a little loose with the rules and eat something with dairy or something starchy / sugary if they've made it, but I try to avoid gluten at all costs.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by betty74 View Post
              My husband and I were invited to some friend's house for dinner. I didn't want to refuse because of food, but I am worried. We don't know them very well and I would feel rude saying I don't eat such and such. So have do most of you handle that?
              Tell them you're allergic to wheat and gluten. It's not even a lie; most Americans are, and just don't know it.
              Primal eating in a nutshell: If you are hungry, eat Primal food until you are satisfied (not stuffed). Then stop. Wait until you're hungry again. Repeat.

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              • #8
                No need to lie about it. Just eat smaller portions of the non primal food. Be polite, and chalk it up to the 20%. Remember that it's a cumulative thing. A few grains in a situation like this aren't going to hurt your goals.

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                • #9
                  No, I know in the long run it will be fine. I am just frustrated because I can't seem to get past the 5 day point so I can even determine if dairy is a problem. I am not worried about the gluten so much as I do know that is causing issues. Nothing huge. I will just eat and get back to it the next day. It is frustrating also because everytime I eat gluten I am 3-4 lbs. heavier the next day. YUCK!

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                  • #10
                    IN social situations, what works for me may be different for you, but what I usually do is take accept a small portion of everything. I try to keep the non primal items to a portion size smaller than the size of the palm of your hand. Eat a bite or two, but don't eat it all. Feel free to eat as much of the primal items as necessary. It does help to eat a good healthy bit of something before you go.

                    Some folks get offended if you don't eat what they prepared for you, so by having it on your plate, you fulfill the obligation as a gracious guest.
                    Every Day is a New Adventure

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Kyle46N View Post
                      No need to lie about it.
                      I agree. I just eat the primal stuff and tell them why I don't eat the other stuff. If they are interested they usually ask for more info. I also have nuts in the car for the drive home in case I am still hungry.

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by drbrik View Post
                        I agree. I just eat the primal stuff and tell them why I don't eat the other stuff. If they are interested they usually ask for more info. I also have nuts in the car for the drive home in case I am still hungry.
                        No need for the nuts we live right down the road. lol

                        I guess the concern is a meal that you can't pick and choose. For example, during our weekend trip they made enchiladas. No way to pick and choose there. Tortillas, cream of mushroom soup, tons of cheese. Used to be something I would have LOVED. It didn't even appeal to me, except the chunks of pork. lol

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                        • #13
                          If you truly have food intolerances (like gluten or dairy) you need to tell them when you accept the invitation. Otherwise, I think it is pretty rude to accept the invitation and then dictate what they need to fix for you.

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by dragonmamma View Post
                            If you truly have food intolerances (like gluten or dairy) you need to tell them when you accept the invitation. Otherwise, I think it is pretty rude to accept the invitation and then dictate what they need to fix for you.
                            Oh I would never dictate what they need to fix. I don't even like to make an issue that by telling them I can't/don't eat gluten. I was really just wondering how everyone else handles eating situations. I kinda feel like food dictates my life sometimes. For example we had 3 special occasions were cake and/or ice cream was served. I did not partake at any of them. I did take apples to one event (at sister's) and microwaved them with cinnamon. People feel the need to comment/joke about it. It is just kinda irritating and sometimes embarrassing.

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                            • #15
                              I would call & tell them about your dietary restrictions--and if they ask why send them the link to Mark's blog! If you are their guest, why wouldn't they want you to be happy with the food? We often have raw vegan friends over and many friends with food allergies and we are always happy to accommodate. As long as you aren't expecting an expensive steak, I really don't see the problem.

                              Honestly, "sucking it up" is not a great way to be real with people you'd like to be friends with. And if they are going to be offended, do you really want to be friends with them?

                              Honesty is always the best policy, IMO!
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