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  • Uncooperative Mate?

    So... my girlfriend moved in recently, I was looking forward to cooking larger meals, which can be easier, but we're clashing big time:

    She doesn't eat the following:

    1) All Beef Products
    2) All Pork Products
    3) All vegetables except carrots and green peppers
    4) Allergic to ALL things coconut

    She does eat, and stocks the pantry full of:

    Pasta
    Bagels
    Sandwiches
    Pizza

    I myself have been on this primal roller coaster, changes in my job and eating out alot (on the road) have been making it very difficult to stay on this. I've kept off the 40lbs I lost doing P90X, but I still have about 35 more to go, and I've just been totally stalled. I just can't seem to stick with this for more then 3 days anymore. I'm bombarded from every angle possible and it seems like sometimes my choices are simply not to eat, or suffer through the carbs.

    Argh.

    Sincerely,

    Frustrated Tom

  • #2
    This is a couples communication issue more than anything.

    Just as you want respect for your eating "culture", your girlfriend wants respect for hers. (Now is not the time to bombard her with online links, books, or anything else seeking to convert her.)

    First thing to do is make a list of all the meals you can eat in common. It sounds like she will eat fowl and fish in terms of animal proteins.
    So build a list of a few primal dishes that she will eat, and therefore you will eat. Make those meals the centerpieces of your dinners, say 3 or 4 nights a week.

    The other eat-home dinners can be "to each their own." You cook YOUR meal, she cooks hers, and you eat together.

    If the budgeting issues are part of this, pool your resources for your communal meals, and then divide up the kitchen in your Primal Zone and her SAD Zone. Do this with respect.

    Lead by example. As you continue to get healthier, leaner and fitter, she may just join you. Be patient. I assume there are qualities in her that are special to you. Don't let the kitchen ruin the bedroom, if you know what I mean. Just approach this as a problem to be solved, where neither of you is WRONG and NEITHER OF YOU needs to change.

    Good luck,
    PWG

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by PrimalWannabeGirl View Post
      This is a couples communication issue more than anything.

      Just as you want respect for your eating "culture", your girlfriend wants respect for hers. (Now is not the time to bombard her with online links, books, or anything else seeking to convert her.)

      First thing to do is make a list of all the meals you can eat in common. It sounds like she will eat fowl and fish in terms of animal proteins.
      So build a list of a few primal dishes that she will eat, and therefore you will eat. Make those meals the centerpieces of your dinners, say 3 or 4 nights a week.

      The other eat-home dinners can be "to each their own." You cook YOUR meal, she cooks hers, and you eat together.

      If the budgeting issues are part of this, pool your resources for your communal meals, and then divide up the kitchen in your Primal Zone and her SAD Zone. Do this with respect.

      Lead by example. As you continue to get healthier, leaner and fitter, she may just join you. Be patient. I assume there are qualities in her that are special to you. Don't let the kitchen ruin the bedroom, if you know what I mean. Just approach this as a problem to be solved, where neither of you is WRONG and NEITHER OF YOU needs to change.

      Good luck,
      PWG
      I agree!! Great suggestions!!
      ~*Lori*~
      my Primal journal : http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum...-momofredheads
      my food blog http://iamhungrywhatsfordinner.blogspot.com/

      SW 231 as of 1/1/2012
      CW 192

      Comment


      • #4
        PWG needs a medal for that post!
        Redflame
        Started PB Aug 9, 2010 then let 'stuff' get in the way
        Back to start and make a fantastic 2012
        Goal of Significant Weight Loss
        15 pounds down! with more to go!

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Redflame View Post
          PWG needs a medal for that post!
          +453872

          Comment


          • #6
            A buddy of mine is having similar issues. His wife was paleo for a few months but for whatever reason decided to go back to CW, and they’re Italian, so she’s fixing pastas, risottos, etc and my friend is finding HIS motivation to stay paleo harder. He got married less than a year ago so it’s still a young marriage and he’s trying to keep eating what he knows is good for him and trying not to annoy his wife with “you shouldn’t eat that…” but he’s worried about her health, and possibly having her gain some of the weight she lost right back which will inevitably happen.

            In my case my gf loves primal food and enjoys eating everything I make as long as it’s not obscure (she ate liver and heart under false pretenses =] ) but at home she doesn’t think twice about eating a bowl of cereal, toast, etc. At first I would get on her case, but now I don’t as much. Her body composition hasn’t changed in the least but I think it’s a combination of her less than optimal food choices and almost complete lack of exercise which she’s making strides to change. I think if we lived together it would either be great for us and she would go primal or it could potentially disrupt our harmony…

            Edit: My gf would like to "get strong" as she puts it, but doesn't care to lose weight, and she doesn't really need to. I keep trying to get her to start lifting heavy things, starting with herself, her push ups are atrocious! haha I gave her my copy of Convict Conditioning but she hasn't started it yet..
            Last edited by iniQuity; 10-15-2010, 09:17 AM.
            I used to seriously post here, now I prefer to troll.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Redflame View Post
              PWG needs a medal for that post!
              I agree! One of the best responses I've read on this forum.
              Liz.

              Zone diet on and off for several years....worked, but too much focus on exact meal composition
              Primal since July 2010...skinniest I've ever been and the least stressed about food

              Comment


              • #8
                PWG definitely has gotten right to the point there. At the end of the day you can only live by example and hope that the other person sees the light.

                I never thought that my SO would give up potatoes and bread, but 1 year into my elightenment and he was on the wagon full force! (down 25 lbs if I may boast)

                Comment


                • #9
                  Going to have to agree with PrimalWannabeGirl on this one, mate.
                  A steak a day keeps the doctor away.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Being single right now, I have wondered how I would ever handle being in a relationship where I cohabited with someone else again. I've gotten so that I really like cooking for myself, but I have my own ways of doing things now that probably wouldn't please anyone else. For example, a couple nights a week I'll have a can of salmon with a little cheese an some mustard in it. I'm a fan of cooking big in the weekends too and I have meal sized portions for me frozen in baggies for week nights. Then I also do carb refeeds with a sweet potato some evenings and in general I'm an eccentric bastard.
                    I figure if I ever did get in that sort of a situation I'd either do all the cooking or cook for me onezy except for maybe on weekends. While I would fix someone extra non-primal things if the wanted, I would not, however, change my dietary habits to please someone else. I guess I could get super lucky and find another prime to date, but the primal dating scene has been dead around these parts for the last few hundred years.
                    http://www.facebook.com/daemonized

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by PrimalWannabeGirl View Post
                      The other eat-home dinners can be "to each their own." You cook YOUR meal, she cooks hers, and you eat together.

                      Lead by example. As you continue to get healthier, leaner and fitter, she may just join you.
                      Awesome reply, PWG!

                      To the OP, I agree with the make your own meal thing. IMO, primal foods are so darned tasty it will pique her interest. I did this with Mr. Ski as he was adamant about having his bowl of cereal or bagel in the morning and sandwich for lunch. Let's face it, you just can't beat the aromas of a primal meal when compared to the aroma (???) of cereal or a sandwich. It didn't even take a week when he started asking, "Is there enough of that stuff for MEEEEEE???" Of course, I made extra hoping he'd be tempted. <3

                      Down the road the thing to consider is that our meals are higher fat and if she is still eating all the grains too, that is not a good combo. But that's for down the road. Good luck!

                      p.s. Mr. Ski will eat anything so he was probably an easy convert. Picky eaters may take longer to come around.
                      312/149/150

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I'm kinda surprised nobody has said "dump her" yet.
                        http://www.facebook.com/daemonized

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Daemonized View Post
                          I'm kinda surprised nobody has said "dump her" yet.
                          We were having a conversation about this topic the other night. A couple we know: he hates almost everything and is a super picky eater; she likes most foods but recently learned that she is celiac. Food and meals are such a big part of our heritage and culture and the way we were brought up that we just can't imagine how this could work with this couple. They recently celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary so I guess it can be done.
                          312/149/150

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by PrimalWannabeGirl View Post
                            This is a couples communication issue more than anything.

                            Just as you want respect for your eating "culture", your girlfriend wants respect for hers. (Now is not the time to bombard her with online links, books, or anything else seeking to convert her.)

                            First thing to do is make a list of all the meals you can eat in common. It sounds like she will eat fowl and fish in terms of animal proteins.
                            So build a list of a few primal dishes that she will eat, and therefore you will eat. Make those meals the centerpieces of your dinners, say 3 or 4 nights a week.

                            The other eat-home dinners can be "to each their own." You cook YOUR meal, she cooks hers, and you eat together.

                            If the budgeting issues are part of this, pool your resources for your communal meals, and then divide up the kitchen in your Primal Zone and her SAD Zone. Do this with respect.

                            Lead by example. As you continue to get healthier, leaner and fitter, she may just join you. Be patient. I assume there are qualities in her that are special to you. Don't let the kitchen ruin the bedroom, if you know what I mean. Just approach this as a problem to be solved, where neither of you is WRONG and NEITHER OF YOU needs to change.

                            Good luck,
                            PWG
                            Add me to the list of people COMPLETELY impressed by your response! Maybe mark can give you an advice column on the site!!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Daemonized View Post
                              I'm kinda surprised nobody has said "dump her" yet.
                              Because, in general, this board is too damned polite! I'm about to have a smart-ass overload because I can't bring myself to act like I normally do. You guys are just too nice.

                              Uh, but yeah, dump her.
                              Started my journey on May 22, 2010:

                              Beginning weight ~180
                              Current weight ~145

                              Nov. 9, 2009........Nov. 9, 2010.....Jun. 17, 2011
                              LDL 155...............LDL 176............LDL 139
                              HDL 39................HDL 66..............HDL 95
                              TGL 154..............TGL 77..............TGL 49

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