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Oh, the pain of it all: 'Roid rage

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  • Oh, the pain of it all: 'Roid rage



    Long story short: Roommate has hemorrhoids. Already a carbaholic (including gallons of Coke and Moutain Dew), he increases his cereal consumption, especially those hearthealthywholegrains. And fiber. Whoo, the fiber.


    So I see yet another Fiber One box has appeared on top of the fridge (next to the kefir I still make for a friend, despite having gone dairy-free myself). At first I roll my eyes thinking he's yet again brought home cereal when there were already multiple boxes, but then I realize this new box is shorter. Not cereal, but bars.


    I looked...and grokkers and grokettes let me tell you I was shocked. Which doesn't happen easily anymore. But see what you think:


    1) "4 grams of fat per serving", and "35% of daily fiber"


    2) Ingredients:


    Chicory root extract, Semisweet chocolate chips (sugar, chocolate liquor, cocoa butter, soy lecithin, natural flavor), Oats, Rice Flour, High Maltose Corn Syrup, Barley Flakes, High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar, Maltodextrin, Canola Oil, Honey, Glycerin, Palm Kernel Oil, Tricalcium Phosphate, Soy Lecithin, Salt, Nonfat Milk, Malt Extract, Cocoa Processed with Alkali, Mixed Tocopherols Added to Retain Freshness.


    The "high maltose" corn syrup was a new one on me -- bonus points not only for doubling up with HFCS, but sugar, maltodextrin AND honey. It baffles me what the first ingredient is doing there -- more "coffee" (chicory) flavor than chocolate chips by volume?


    Apart from the salt, chocolate liquor and butter: "There is not a single thing on this list that is not completely and utterly wrong."


  • #2
    1



    That sounds so freaking scary. Seriously...I think I'm going to have nightmares. This might be TMI, but I'll never forget the night I nearly died from a near-fatal blockage. Living on a bodybuilder diet and after days and days with no BM, taking fiber supplement upon fiber supplement, and then the laxative...I had convulsions and nearly passed out.


    Ahem, time to go whip up some veggies sauteed in beef tallow...

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    • #3
      1



      So funny (er, not literally). I also upped my fiber immensely before I went 'Primal'. I was sooooo proud of myself, yet could NOT, for the life of me, figure out WHY my 'innards' were solidifying even more. I wasn't as bad as what happened to you, Elana, but I was on my way there!


      Now, wow, I am Smoooooooth sailing! ;-P - First time in my entire life that I don't have to drink Senna tea or take Magnesium to get things going.


      Wow, does the rest of the Country have it ass-backwards, or what?!

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      • #4
        1



        Warning: I'm going to talk about fruit again!


        Forget all the metamucils and fiber bars and colon cleanses....you get plugged up, you eat a big bowl full of fresh plums or fresh apricots, and that'll clean you out like a roto-rooter.

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        • #5
          1



          dragonmamma, but all those carbs!!!!!!! =P

          .`.><((((> .`.><((((>.`.><((((>.`.><(( ((>
          ><((((> .`.><((((>.`.><((((>.`.><(( ((>

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          • #6
            1



            Not to provide TMI but I eat a serving of pitted prunes (about seven small ones) every morning and they clean the whole system on down the line. :-)

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            • #7
              1



              Holy crimoly, frogfarm. . .scary stuff!! That poor baby--I hope he learns something from you.

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              • #8
                1



                DaveFish, I heard you can become tolerant to prunes if you eat them that regularly, and then be left dependant on something or other to get things working. Hopefully not.. but be careful.

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                • #9
                  1



                  A pot of coffee works, decaf or no. A bunch of hot liquid coming down the line is quite effective.

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                  • #10
                    1



                    www.fibermenace.com

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                    • #11
                      1



                      I have some spinach with my meat once in a while. That seems to be enough for me.

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                      • #12
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                        I had an interesting evening once after eating a huge bunch of Mustard Greens. Master Cleanse...Primal Edition :-D

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