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  • Family dinner weekends

    Hi all,

    I'm new here. I've been doing the primal nutrition for only about a week to ten days (very few carbs, some days I manage under 100, other days I am a little over). I'm doing this for a number of reasons (including trying to lose 30 lbs). A big reason relates to my hypothyroidism and rheumatoid arthritis. I'm trying to get my inflammation under control. Everything I've read about the paleo diet makes utter sense to me. And when I am honest about my gut health, I know that I feel worse when I eat refined carbs.

    I have a problem though. I am often invited out to spend a lovely evening with my closest family members. They often serve and indulge in rich, carbohydrate-laden foods, including lots of amazing wine. I try to limit my food intake on days that I eat with them so as not to go way out in left field in terms of what I eat. But this is the first time I had dinner with them after going primal for more than a week.

    To be blunt, I feel sick. I had nearly 300 grams of carbs today (I also did an hour-long workout with weights and HIT), but I try to keep my carbs between 50-100 on my good days. Most of my carb intake was at dinner tonight. I have a headache and I'm nauseated.

    I don't want to say no to the family dinners, but I don't think that eating with them is a good idea. I told them about my shift to paleo eating and, as many of you might understand, it was not exactly taken seriously. I did lose 5 lbs in the last 10 days, and I like the way I feel eating no bread/pasta/rice etc. But their dinners feature a lot of sugar/carbs. And tonight, I think, was an attempt to tone down the carbs (no rice/potato dish); there was, however, french bread. I had three slices! eek:

    My question...How do I say no to the food but yes to the company? Have any of you had experience with this before?

  • #2
    I would either:

    1. Host the meal. Make amazing primal food, knock their socks off and indulge in a glass or two of wine as your treat.

    2. Eat before you go, nibble at the least offending foods and enjoy the company. Definitely avoid the french bread!!! lol

    3. Bring a yummy primal dish to share! Avoid non primal fare!
    The more I see the less I know for sure.
    -John Lennon

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    • #3
      For this kind of thing, I often 1) Eat something satisfying and paleo beforehand, 2) Accept a glass or two of wine, 3) Nibble on any paleo foods that are available, 4) Enjoy the company, and 5) Simply say I've discovered that I feel much better when I avoid grains and sugars, if people ask.
      Nightlife ~ Chronicles of Less Urban Living, Fresh from In the Night Farm ~ Idaho's Primal Farm! http://inthenightlife.wordpress.com/

      Latest post: Stop Being Stupid

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      • #4
        Originally posted by BarbeyGirl View Post
        For this kind of thing, I often 1) Eat something satisfying and paleo beforehand, 2) Accept a glass or two of wine, 3) Nibble on any paleo foods that are available, 4) Enjoy the company, and 5) Simply say I've discovered that I feel much better when I avoid grains and sugars, if people ask.
        +1
        What was your need to eat the french bread? Especially 3 slices...
        Is it that you just can't say no when the temptation is there? Or was there literally nothing else to choose from?
        You could always bring your own big salad in a tupperware if you know they are serving something you don't want to eat. They are your family! They should be supportive enough that you shouldnt feel uncomfortable bringing your own food. I would never recommend not spending time with your family... remember that it's about being with them, not about eating. Would you feel ok bringing your own?

        The last time this happened to me, my dad was on the barbeque... burgers, chicken, hot dogs. But also buns, potato salad and coleslaw, baked beans, etc. Even those little one bite brownies for dessert! Funny thing is, I'm the one who picked out the brownies. My parents wanted to get a big cake, and I talked them into a dessert item that allowed for better portion control. Granted, I wasn't going to eat them anyway... but I was just looking out for my family Anyway, I ate a burger and some raw veggies from the veggie platter. Totally satisfied... and I got to spend 4 hours with my family, whom I love dearly but are known for weight problems! No need to feel like you can't resist being dragged down with them.
        Starting weight, June 10, 2010: 213 pounds
        Current weight, October 31, 2010: 177 pounds
        Goal: Happiness, Health, Hotness

        Screw "moderation"!!

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        • #5
          Great suggestions, all. Thanks! I will have to plan to bring my own salads/sides. Their meat is often fine, except when it is breaded. Most times it is grilled.

          @Lodini: I really debated about the french bread. It was partially my own fault for going there hungry. I went to the gym instead of taking time for lunch. Some of it was temptation. Some of it was fear of being judged or not accepted. Some of it was hunger. I didn't want to bring up the issue of paleo diets again and get ridiculed for it. Although one of my fam asked me if it was working (kind of jokingly). When I said I'd lost 5 lbs this person was very surprised.

          Also, it's really hard to turn down $100 wines. I guess it's good practice for me and a deep lesson. Sometimes I need to fall off the wagon to realize that I was on it to begin with. And I simply can't eat that way. I have to realize that it's poison, not a sensible option.

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          • #6
            I never refuse cheap wine so $100 wine I would definitely indulge... I always eat before going anywhere... I fill my plate with meat and veggies an no one says a word cause my plate is full and they don't even realise that I don't have any carbs on my plate... I never tell anyone I eat Primal/Paleo they just don't understand....

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            • #7
              [QUOTE=PhDenial;172773]I told them about my shift to paleo eating and, as many of you might understand, it was not exactly taken seriously. ... french bread. I had three slices! eek![QUOTE]

              No offense, but if you tell them you're not eating carbs (or grains or whatever), and then eat 3 slices of french bread in front of them, how can they take you seriously? Do as others suggest -- eat beforehand, bring food, whatever -- set yourself up to succeed. But most importantly, honor your own convictions.

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              • #8
                TBH, I'm surprised you could notice any difference at all after only a single week of 100-or-so carb days. You sure you don't just feel sick because you made a glutton of yourself? Not trying to be a jerk - honest question. Think about thanksgiving - even if you skip bready things, you usually end up feeling like garbage after going berserk on multiple plates of food. My honest suggestion would be follow a "No S" approach in these cases if you can't simply tell these people you don't eat grains anymore - fill a single plate, modestly, and stick with that.

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                • #9
                  If I know im not going to be at home during my eating ours (As I IF after 5 untill 9 the next day) I usually bring something along with me..People think its strange but its worth it. I like wild salmon in the tin kept in brine..usually keeps better than other food. I used to grab a bag of nuts if i was stuck for something untill i found out i have a sensitivity to them.

                  Fruit could be a winner here too!

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by PhDenial View Post
                    Hi all,

                    I'm new here. I've been doing the primal nutrition for only about a week to ten days (very few carbs, some days I manage under 100, other days I am a little over). I'm doing this for a number of reasons (including trying to lose 30 lbs). A big reason relates to my hypothyroidism and rheumatoid arthritis.
                    ooh, do make sure your 25(OH)D levels are optimal....or agressively work to make them so. See my linked doc below for testing information. It absolutely matters which lab/method is used to test. LabCorp or ZRT are acceptable options....Quest is not.

                    I'm trying to get my inflammation under control.
                    And you will optimal 25(OH)D levels and optimal sleep every. single. night.

                    including lots of amazing wine.
                    I'd probably drink it. Red wine anyway.

                    I don't want to say no to the family dinners, but I don't think that eating with them is a good idea. I told them about my shift to paleo eating and, as many of you might understand, it was not exactly taken seriously. I did lose 5 lbs in the last 10 days, and I like the way I feel eating no bread/pasta/rice etc. But their dinners feature a lot of sugar/carbs. And tonight, I think, was an attempt to tone down the carbs (no rice/potato dish); there was, however, french bread. I had three slices! eek:
                    Are there non-starchy veggies to be had? Meat? If so, just do that..... It comes up for me all the time. All. the time. When there are only carby options (ie pasta), I load up on salad if that's available, though salad and wine are not an excellent combo If there isn't even a salad option, I simply say that I had a late lunch and that 'I'm stuffed right now' but maybe later. Just keep shifting the focus off of you and back onto other topics. Don't talk about it.....let your results speak.



                    iherb referral code CIL457- $5 off first order

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by PhDenial View Post
                      ... A big reason relates to my hypothyroidism ...
                      Be wary of cabbage and other brassicas, then. Some styles of,"paleo" recipes include plenty of raw cabbage. It's best eaten boiled or as sauerkraut not raw:

                      http://www.internethealthlibrary.com...&Lifestyle.htm

                      I don't want to say no to the family dinners, but I don't think that eating with them is a good idea. I told them about my shift to paleo eating and, as many of you might understand, it was not exactly taken seriously. I did lose 5 lbs in the last 10 days, and I like the way I feel eating no bread/pasta/rice etc. But their dinners feature a lot of sugar/carbs. And tonight, I think, was an attempt to tone down the carbs (no rice/potato dish); there was, however, french bread. I had three slices!
                      You also mention gut health. If there's anything like a problem there, it's not just carbs that are the issue. Professor Cordain, the originator of the Paleo Diet, seems almost more exercised by the possible role of some of the irritating substances in grains than by any other issue. It's good to read this to get some perspective on that:

                      http://www.direct-ms.org/pdf/Evoluti...al%20Sword.pdf

                      It's a bit of a grey area, perhaps. Some people seem to do just fine on grains - or on some of them - at least in the short term. Hebridean Islanders, for example, were reported to eating mostly fish and oatmeal in the 1930s and were said at that time to be unusually strong, healthy and good-tempered. But if Cordain's anywhere near right, and if you're anywhere near a susceptible individual - and you're mentioning rheumatoid arthritis - you might have to not let that one go. Cordain:

                      glycine-rich cell wall protein (GRP 1.8), which is ubiquitous in cereal grains and legumes, shares significant amino acid homology with fibrillar collagen and procollagen and has been shown to stimulate T cells from the synovial fluid of juvenile and adult rheumatoid arthritis patients ...
                      ... and so on.

                      I think alcohol is a big issue, too. I like it. At many times in my life, I've had too much fairly often. But when you cut right back for a while, boy do you notice it. It's a bugger for spiking bloodsugar, then for dropping people down again even to the point of sleep. What's nice now, is that I can enjoy one drink, and then not even want more.

                      My question...How do I say no to the food but yes to the company? Have any of you had experience with this before?
                      I don't know. It's a tough one. I think what's difficult, as you say, is that the whole balance of many non-paleo people's food is out of whack. There's just far too much starchy food, and not nearly enough meat and fat. You can't really complain to people feeding you, even family, that they haven't given you enough meat - it would make them feel stingy. But avoid the starchy food and drink and puddings that they are offering with a profligate hand and you'll be a little short of food and that half-empty plate might also make your hosts feel awkward. In a kind of revenge for that, they may nag you about what you're eating.

                      You can be dishonest and claim you've tested positive for gluten allergy and so can't touch any gluten-containg grains, I guess. You can also lean on the medical side as regards booze - turn down refills with the "I have to lose weight" excuse. No easy answers.
                      Last edited by Lewis; 08-01-2010, 09:49 AM.

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by blank_faceplate View Post
                        TBH, I'm surprised you could notice any difference at all after only a single week of 100-or-so carb days. You sure you don't just feel sick because you made a glutton of yourself? Not trying to be a jerk - honest question. Think about thanksgiving - even if you skip bready things, you usually end up feeling like garbage after going berserk on multiple plates of food. My honest suggestion would be follow a "No S" approach in these cases if you can't simply tell these people you don't eat grains anymore - fill a single plate, modestly, and stick with that.
                        Hi FP,

                        Not sure gluttony was the issue... I had three prawns, salad, and three thin slices of french bread, followed by a cup of fruit salad.

                        Clearly a meal, but not a piled-high plate. Rich, tho.

                        Could have been the wine...

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