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Why are people so eager for others to fail?

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  • Why are people so eager for others to fail?

    So I've been primal since March and i've lost almost 70 lbs.

    Living with my husband's parents I have to exercise the 80/20 rule as I have little to no control over dinner...However I do go 100% primal the rest of the time and can do such things as avoiding the corn and bread at dinner.

    Anyways, well my husband's mother made this amaaazing dish of stuffed pasta shells. She makes them once in a blue moon but since I was not home for dinner that night I missed out. So I threw some of the leftovers in for my lunch the next day (today).

    People looked at me in awe! So many of them jump to "give up on your diet!?" or "no meat salad today, hummm?" They all look at me like, "HA! He fell off the band wagon." I smile and reply "I treat myself every once in a while to something less than healthy. That's what makes this work. It's not a 100% strict diet forever. There is wiggle room."

    People never question what I wear, what I read, what I listen to, who i have sex with, or anything else... but FOOD! It says something strange about our culture now days that people are so obsessed with health and food and what others are eating yet the majority of us humans are fat!
    March 1st 2010: 308lbs | CW: 219lbs / 18.5%BF | New Goal: 16% BF
    Male. 28. 6'4''. Currently working on them muscles and strength!

    "My chest hair caught fire when I was fighting a bear with a flamethrower, how do I get my hair back?” - Rivvin

  • #2
    Misery loves company
    “Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.” -Oscar Wilde
    "The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it." -George Bernard Shaw
    "The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass." -Martin Mull

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    • #3
      I hear you. No-one except family knows I'm eating meat yet...

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      • #4
        Went on a long rant about this in my post but decided to just say"crab in a bucket". People always try to pull down someone trying to get out the "bucket"
        One of the biggest reasons why support is so necessary when it comes to any lifestyle choice. Its easy to get pulled back down.
        *hug* hope you enjoyed your 20% and looking good, btw
        Calm the f**k down.

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        • #5
          its some kind of deep pyschological thing. people often dont even realize they are doing it. probably due to their own insecurities of their unhealthy lifestyle. like some other posters say : misery loves company, like crabs in a boiling pot of water. noone can climb out, they are pulled back in.

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          • #6
            Dang. Fantasteak results. *F* um. +1 for Crab in a bucket. Great response, btw, and finding a way to fit Primal into your situation. WTG overall!!
            Melissa Fritcher - 330/252/150
            http://lessofmimi.wordpress.com
            Trample the weak, hurdle the dead.

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            • #7
              my heavy drinking, smoking, pasta-eating eating chubby friend likes to tell me that all the beef im eating is cancer-causing. shes funny.

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              • #8
                Why are people so eager for others to fail?
                Some people are eager for others to fail. The psychological reason is ressentiment. Nietzsche wrote extensively about it. He wasn't really that good a philosopher but he was an acute psychologist.

                http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ressentiment

                It's one of the tensions endemic to any kind of social life.

                One interesting question, particularly to people here who have a "primal" bent, would be "How did primitive people deal with tensions of this sort?" The answer to that, according to René Girard is blood sacrifice:

                Primitive societies, Girard argues, are invaded by ‘mimetic desire’, as rivals struggle to match each other’s social and material acquisitions, so heightening antagonism and precipitating the cycle of revenge. The solution is to identify a victim, one marked by fate as ‘outside’ the community and therefore not entitled to vengeance against it, who can be the target of the accumulated blood-lust, and who can bring the chain of retribution to an end. Scapegoating is society’s way of recreating ‘difference’ and so restoring itself. By uniting against the scapegoat people are released from their rivalries and reconciled. Through his death the scapegoat purges society of its accumulated violence.
                http://web.princeton.edu/sites/jmadi...rutonPaper.pdf

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                • #9
                  schadenfreudes

                  Schadenfreude (pronounced /ˈʃɑːdənfrɔɪdə/ German pronunciation: [ˈʃaːdənˌfʁɔʏdə]) is pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others.
                  I didn't like the rules you gave me, so I made some of my own.

                  Strong people are harder to kill than weak people, and more useful in general. - Mark Rippetoe

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                  • #10
                    Ressentiment sounds like the answer to this question. Through out history tye persecution of one group united others under one cause. I never actually knew the term for it though. Eff them Jay, their just jealous.
                    "I know what my body needs and what it can handle. There's no better way to achieve my goal than what im doing now. If my regimen leads to my death, be it in six days or six months...I will die fullfiled. The outcome is irrelavent so long as i steer towards my fate. If death is to be my prize, i welcome it with open arms."

                    "A pound of meat a day keeps the doctor away"

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                    • #11
                      People seem to fear what they dont understand. (translation..people can be real dicks). But I have another side of the coin. I am sick of people telling me not to lose anymore weight, & I look great. WTF.. Im not annorexic, I have rolls still hanging over my belt. I can see the truth. Yes I am obsessed, but my goal weight is 10 little pounds away. Last time I lost weight I listened to those people & gained 1/2 of my weight back. My advise is just ignore the people that feel they need to tell you what to do & nod politley. You have a hard enought time just trying to stay primal in this world.
                      "Don't dream it, be it"

                      -Dr. Frank-N-Furter

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                      • #12
                        Yes, its interesting to find out who your true friends are once you get skinny. I'm dealing with this now. I'm not talking about this unless asked. Aside from getting checked out more by guys, I'm getting dirty looks from women who were more comfortable with me being a little chunkier...

                        I just find it all fascinating and eventually they'll just have to accept it and choose to get in shape themselves or not. I don't care what they do... I'm ecstatic about this lifestyle myself... and I feel great so F them.

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                        • #13
                          Pretty awesome how you've done so well but my advice to you would be to stop caring so much about what others think. I know its hard to do but if you're feeling good and healthier than who cares? We always forget the most important person we havet to please is ourselves. We're the ones who have to live with whatever decisions we make.

                          People will always try and put you down but use it as motivation to push even harder. People don't realize that you get out what you put in.
                          Today is a new day. You will get out of it just what you put into it. If you have made mistakes, there is always another chance for you. And supposing you have tried and failed again and again, you may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call 'Failure' is not the falling down, but the staying down.

                          Mary Pickford

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                          • #14
                            actually I left out that only the heavy set women that i come in contact with (my wifes friends etc.) are the culprits. So I have no intention of F'n them LOL
                            Also my female training partner who is built like the picture under the word "healthy" in the dictionary, says it also. I think she doesnt want me to kick her ass in the gym, & subconscously is undermining my goals. I have advise for any guy wanting to get in shape. Find a type A personality brick shithouse of a woman willing to train with you. It is very motivational to not let a woman beat you, esspecially if she can, & doesnt want you to beat her. good luck finding one.
                            "Don't dream it, be it"

                            -Dr. Frank-N-Furter

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                            • #15
                              Love this topic and love the crab in a pot comment. Will be using that one frequently. I've had co-workers tell me to be careful to not develop an eating disorder and tell me that I'm getting too skinny and that I need to eat some junk. I'm 5'8 and weigh 175, that's down from my highest of 230, but I still am by no means skinny. While having a discussion about how I dropped weight, I was lectured on all different theories and how I should only consume 6 oz. of meat at each meal and blah, blah, blah... all the while the lecturer was stuffing his face with pop, twizzlers, and pretzles. I don't look to them for support and I don't answer unless asked. It is true that misery loves company, but that company has worn out their welcome.

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