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  • Originally posted by naiadknight View Post
    I realize what that usually means in my dreams and walk forward to stab the monster with the pencil and, right as he's dissolving to mist, I wake up.
    The pencil is indeed mightier than the sword.
    What an incredible lucid dream, naiad! I know you will use this wisely and well
    You are far more powerful than you know...

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    • For any and all that read this journal:
      Thou art God. Grok well.
      Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
      My Latest Journal

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      • I have a hard time being/ living alone. I really do. Part of it being that I never really have (dorms don't count and I only live in that apt in Lbk for 2 mos.) The other being that it forces me to spend time with... me. That's an uneasy peace there. There's 3 distinct sides of me and they generally shy away from one another (no, not like MPD.) There's the little girl, the tiny little thing who does everything to make things right, regardless of whether or not it's right for her, so long as everyone else is happy. There's my outer persona, the bold, happy, sarcastic bitch y'all know and love. And then there's the persona I started discovering as i started coming into my own and working through my trials and tribulations. Y'all know her too. Being alone, those 3 start shit, start dredging up shit I was quite happy leaving buried.
        It's not that I can't stand myself, far from it, I'm proud of myself and my heritage. it's not that I'm not making progress, I am. It's that all these emotions come over me and I haven't the foggiest what to name them or what to do to get them out, other than crying and screaming, which I don't like doing. Not because it's unladylike or because others'll hear (I doubt they would,) but because it takes another chunk out of that tough bitch shell, that carapace I'm quite happy leaving in p... well, that's not even true. I'm not happy leaving ti in place, but I'd rather have that there than appear *shudder* human. If I'm human, I can be hurt. Again. for the 5 bajillionth time. By those that supposedly love me. for the 5 bajillionth time. Husband would never hurt me, the Guys would never (intentionally) hurt me. There are others who wouldn't hurt me, who go out of their way because they know my weak spots, my choke points. It boils down to fear. All this damn madness, all this damn foolishness and trying to pin it on folks who only started the ball rolling (my parents, that one ex), it boils down to fear. Fear of being hurt. But I can not learn if I can not hurt. It's a great way to live forever, but that'd be no life. Now that I have a name for the beast with a million faces, he isn't so big.

        "We have nothing to fear but fear itself." Only partially true. "Know thyself." May help, couldn't hurt, those spider holes are scary though. "Grok." I'd love to, I'm still working on that. "Be good." I have my limits. "Be good." Dammit, no. "Be Good, Grok?!" Yeah, I grok. Be good.
        Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
        My Latest Journal

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        • You are amazing my love! I loved this entry and although my deep thinking mechanism is disabled currently, I so totally got your message!

          I am really grateful that you were plopped into my life at the right time, (THAT GOES FOR YOU GUYS TOO *Points to everyone else reading this*) it's extraordinary.

          And i am spent

          Love ya
          Live Like No One Else

          http://primalterp.blogspot.com/

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          • Thanks, Bone! I needed that.
            Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
            My Latest Journal

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            • You're one tuff chica.
              Fear nothing.
              sigpic

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              • Tell me I don't want a DQ Blizzard. The ingredients trick isn't working.
                Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
                My Latest Journal

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                • Alright, there's a work around for this. What do I want in it? Chocolate, cold, creaminess, fruity... I'm out of coconut milk. Uhhh... wait, I have pumpkin, I have egg, I have chocolate.... I have an idea.
                  Pumpkin chocolate meringue cookies.
                  Last edited by naiadknight; 10-13-2010, 07:40 PM.
                  Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
                  My Latest Journal

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                  • 1. Eat lots of animals, insects and plants.
                    more curry, a full batch of pumpkin chocolate chip meringues (all 3 egg whites and 1/2 c pumpkin...)
                    2. Move around a lot at a slow pace.
                    Not really.

                    3. Lift heavy things.
                    Yayyy!!! see above. It happened.

                    4. Run really fast every once in a while.
                    Not today
                    5. Get lots of sleep.
                    10 hrs.

                    6. Play.
                    Not really

                    7. Get some sunlight everyday:
                    10K IU
                    8. Avoid trauma.
                    Yep
                    9. Avoid poisonous things.
                    Yep!

                    10. Use your mind
                    Worked through some more emotional crap. Discovered that it's a lot harder to make meringues without cream of tartar.
                    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
                    My Latest Journal

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                    • So how did the meringues turn out? They sound interesting. Great job avoiding the DQ too! I am so glad we don't have one here
                      Meghan

                      My MDA journal

                      Primal Ponderings- my blog- finally added some food pron :P

                      And best of all my Body Fat Makeover!!

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                      • Originally posted by NutMeg View Post
                        So how did the meringues turn out? They sound interesting. Great job avoiding the DQ too! I am so glad we don't have one here
                        +1.
                        Yes, please. Do tell?

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                        • Not perfect, because I made them too big and didn't bake them long enough. Tasted wonderful though.
                          "Recipe"
                          In one bowl, mix up 1/2 c pumpkin puree, and nutmeg, allspice, cloves, and cinnamon (I have no clue what the dose of those were, I was just shaking it into my hand and gonig "eh, that looks good") and 1 tbsp vanilla extract, along with one egg yolk. Chop up some good chocolate nice and fine and mix that in too.
                          In another bowl, beat 3 egg whites until stiff peaks. Fold the pumpkin gunk into the egg white. Deposit onto baking pan by rounded teaspoon (missed that), and bake at 300*F until meringue like (25- 30 min, supposedly.)
                          Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
                          My Latest Journal

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                          • Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm....
                            I think I might have to make those tomorrow

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                            • GEH! I keep hearing something like an ankle popping or something like that. It's not, I swept the whole damn house with the gun (closets and garage too) and there's nothing. It's creeping me out.
                              Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
                              My Latest Journal

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                              • Sometimes houses make weird sounds at night
                                Sounds like you cleared your house thoroughly...probably just joists or something.

                                (Remind me to tell you sometime about the overnight I worked at the creepy old waterfront building...built out on a pier into the bay...after I had four Red Bulls....)

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