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  • I am going to rip somebody's head off and stuff it down their still spurting throat. The TWC website is an utter piece of shit. God forbid you make more than $40k, you hit the ceiling of benefits. God forbid you actually want a decently design site, that ain't gonna happen. I swear to god(dess)(e)(s), it's like they took the 1000 monkeys writing shakepeare technique. I hate even having to apply for it, it hurts my pride and it was BULLSHIT the way I got canned. Budgetary reasons, my fat ass. If it was budgetary reasons, then why did he get a new top of the line laptop when his ass didn't even know how to get a network drive THAT WAS AN ICON ON HIS DESKTOP?!!! "Budgetary reasons" and the city is contemplating giving the city manager a hefty raise. IT'S BULLSHIT!!! Fuck this shit, I'm gonna go kill shit in Borderlands. Paste his smiling mug on every noe of the bandits faces.
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Latest Journal

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    • 1. I hope you are okay! And I <3 you

      2. GHARTYREATYTARTERERRRR (That was my frustration...)

      Im sorry you're frustrated but OH SO GLAD you can share it with us! *hugs*
      Manda
      Live Like No One Else

      http://primalterp.blogspot.com/

      Comment


      • For those who still think stress and sleep have nothing to do with weight:
        Tuesday (last day of work): 124 lb
        Today (3 days out of work, 2 major stressors in my life gone, full 13 hrs sleep): 119.8 lb
        Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
        My Latest Journal

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        • OMG OMG OMG! NO WONDER my scale hates me lately! ... hmmmm *Sleeps and quits and sleeps and gets certified and sleeps*

          <3 Grats on the weightloss...

          Live Like No One Else

          http://primalterp.blogspot.com/

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          • Thanks, chiquita. I think it was more the stress of asshat and my grandmother and not sleeping that did it, as opposed to working. If you want, next time you're on Skype, I can try to explain my ritual meditation and how it works, maybe there's something similar you could do. It's really cathartic.
            Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
            My Latest Journal

            Comment


            • Originally posted by naiadknight View Post
              Thanks, chiquita. I think it was more the stress of asshat and my grandmother and not sleeping that did it, as opposed to working. If you want, next time you're on Skype, I can try to explain my ritual meditation and how it works, maybe there's something similar you could do. It's really cathartic.
              Please yes-I am down with the sickness for real!

              I love meditation and it seems I will get into one way of doing it and it will work for me and then something will trigger me to either stop or it just won't work anymore IDK I am really not treating myself the best I can be lately... *eep* I am so glad for you!
              Live Like No One Else

              http://primalterp.blogspot.com/

              Comment


              • Originally posted by batty View Post
                ain't that the god dang truth. it's difficult, overwhelming, and uncomfortable. at least we recognize it, that's a huge step, i guess.

                hugs, lady.
                +1,000,000

                Recognizing your struggle(s) is half the battle, and Minxxa is right some of it comes with age, @ 25 I had 2 kids and was no where near level headed enough for that responsibility, by age 30 I was so much better, but really I can't nail down why other than I was still learning about myself. Heck I still am.
                Strive for healthy today.

                Satisfaction is the death of desire.

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                • I haven't had kids yet because I'm still recouping from raising myself and my 2 sisters, as well as trying to drag my mother out of being a mopey teenager. People keep asking that and I keep saying "we have a plan. yadayada."
                  I have firmer grasp on who I am than I've had in quite a while, but it's still gelling. It comes with the territory, but I do kinda wish this life's batch of lessons didn't include some of the shit it did. Then again, I think we all wish that. Life's a bitch and she has puppies. Oh well. Thaanks for the encouragement you guys. I'll do a meditation tonight or tomorrow or when I can and work through some more of it.
                  Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
                  My Latest Journal

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by naiadknight View Post
                    Today (3 days out of work, 2 major stressors in my life gone, full 13 hrs sleep): 119.8 lb
                    fuuuuuuuuuuckkkkk youuuuuuuuuuu
                    "The penis is the male animal-flower, a soft-firm dildo, a warm dream."
                    -Raymond Peat, PhD

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                    • OMG so I am watching Bones... and Right in the middle of the most current episode the two main characters are in this AA place and this guy isnt sharing any info and... this other lady comes out and says

                      "Dont be such an ASSHAT hank"

                      guess who i thought of!
                      <3
                      Live Like No One Else

                      http://primalterp.blogspot.com/

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                      • Thanks, Meaty. Thanks. /sarcasm
                        I would rather be a little heavier and still have a job. I keep worrying about paying my share of the bills and such. Husband keeps telling me not to worry, we have money saved up, he's making enough to cover if we need to, I'll be drawing unemployment. But it still feels like I'm not pulling my share. And I'm downright ASHAMED to be unemployment. I know, logically, I shouldn't be, but I am. It means I'm taking help without being able to offer anything in return.
                        Manda- I never watch that show, but I'm curious now, just from that one scene.
                        Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
                        My Latest Journal

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by naiadknight View Post
                          But it still feels like I'm not pulling my share
                          NK - *said with much loving kindness* - this is totally the wrong way to think about it.

                          You are married and he loves you. Shared sorrow is halved and all that jazz...

                          Believe me, you will have many opportunities to pull more than your fair share over the life of the relationship. Don't cheat your husband out of his chance to be a rock for you.

                          Plus - since when did money become the only way we measure contributions to the family? I have a wife who works only 10 hrs/week in paid employment. Earns about 3% of our annual income. And yet I wouldn't want to trade obligations with her ever. She is the organized, busy rock who runs a household of 4 kids, one of whom due to her autism needs tons of extra effort and attention. She has actually stated, seriously, to me, "my job in life is to cure Z of her autism". We both know that "cure" may not be possible, but improvement and love ALWAYS are possible. I couldn't BE without her, and Z is the luckiest girl in the world to have her for a Mommy. It ain't the money!

                          Please - look in the mirror and behold the special person you are and why you matter to those who love you. Think back on the younger girl/woman who helped parent little sibs when the real Mom wasn't doing the job well enough. That's the prize your husband married - not just an extra earner in the household.
                          Never eat anything bigger than your own head.

                          Comment


                          • Originally posted by Joe View Post
                            NK - *said with much loving kindness* - this is totally the wrong way to think about it.

                            You are married and he loves you. Shared sorrow is halved and all that jazz...

                            Believe me, you will have many opportunities to pull more than your fair share over the life of the relationship. Don't cheat your husband out of his chance to be a rock for you.

                            Plus - since when did money become the only way we measure contributions to the family? I have a wife who works only 10 hrs/week in paid employment. Earns about 3% of our annual income. And yet I wouldn't want to trade obligations with her ever. She is the organized, busy rock who runs a household of 4 kids, one of whom due to her autism needs tons of extra effort and attention. She has actually stated, seriously, to me, "my job in life is to cure Z of her autism". We both know that "cure" may not be possible, but improvement and love ALWAYS are possible. I couldn't BE without her, and Z is the luckiest girl in the world to have her for a Mommy. It ain't the money!

                            Please - look in the mirror and behold the special person you are and why you matter to those who love you. Think back on the younger girl/woman who helped parent little sibs when the real Mom wasn't doing the job well enough. That's the prize your husband married - not just an extra earner in the household.
                            +1millionand1.

                            you are remarkable, you both bring your parts to the relationship and to the marriage and to the world.

                            You are a contributor, life is a balance-you know this, you tell me this. Balance at this moment is something you are working on and it is great! Your husband loves you and you love him and that is plenty for now! <3

                            The end

                            Manda
                            Live Like No One Else

                            http://primalterp.blogspot.com/

                            Comment


                            • Joe-
                              I know, it ain't all about the money. And he married me for me, warts and all. It's still a hard thing to wrap my head around. I'm too used to being the rock myself. Having to actually lean on and truly depend on someone, in almost all aspects of my life is a REALLY scary. Every time I've depended on som.... nevermind, that's neither here nor there. I'll try, but it'll be a bitch kitty to do it. It's not a lesson I ever wanted to learn. I'm kinda used to and liking the idea of being self sufficient. But I married him, so I guess I'll try to let him hold his position.
                              Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
                              My Latest Journal

                              Comment


                              • I repeat - Don't cheat him out of his chance to man up and be there for you.

                                Then he won't hate himself when the day comes (and it will - as surely as night follows day) when he needs YOU. What is happening right now between you two is a beautiful thing and you will look back and realize that this is one of those times that promotes the relationship from JV to varsity level. It makes it stronger.

                                Just reading between the lines, you have come so far in life. I understand you like to meditate. So throw this on the meditation fire: what is happening to you right now is on your path for a reason. You can learn from it.

                                I wish I was half as self-aware in my 20's as you are. Don't stop - your insight will carry you where you need to go.
                                Never eat anything bigger than your own head.

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