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  • I'm tired of this shit. I'm beginning to wonder if I will find a job I'd want. I'm sure if I need a job, HEB needs a cashier or Chili's needs a server, but that's one hell of a use of that engineering degree and EIT cert I worked my ass off for. I hate Limbo. At least, Hell, you know you're in Hell and can adjust accordingly. I should know, I lived there in high school. Limbo, you're just waiting, hoping, wanting things to work out for the best, but expecting the worst because that's what you've always been handed.
    I can tell my thyroid pills are fucked up again because my emotions are running rampant again. I can't even afford to go to the damn doctor because I need to save up for being boned after I leave the City. TWC is absofuckinglutely useless, the only job they have for an engineer is an overglorified rig tech/maintainer. I'd even apply for that, except they want experience. Hell, how am I supposed to GET experience if everyone wants it? I'm this fucking close to just going in the bedroom and bawling my heart out over this. Again. I'm not going to because it doesn't solve anything and is just yet another self pity party. If engineers are in such hot demand, I'd love to know where, 'cause it sure as hell ain't here. I'm starting to get that "I want out" feeling again, which is never a good thing. It's been a good 6 months since I last had one of my mini-breakdowns, I'd like to keep that record going. It's not that I want no problems, I want it, but recognize that there'll always be problems. I want my problems to be more along the lines of "My mother's gone apeshit again," "How'm I going to fix this cut of meat," "How'm I gonna try to relax today?," not that stuff plus "How'm I gonna pay the bills?," "Where's my next paycheck coming from?," "what's the cheapest thing we can eat today?" It's BULLSHIT! I dealt with enough shit when I was little, stop fucking around with me! Go pick on someone else. Fate's one hell of a bully.
    And, to add insult to injury, my last wisdom tooth is coming in. Owwwww.. Cloves and saltwater and naproxen sodium are my friends.
    Last edited by naiadknight; 08-21-2010, 11:33 PM.
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
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    • Naiad...
      I have nothing for you, besides infinite love.
      Hugs and smootches, Sweetie.

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      • I'm sorry you have a rough one naiad, and I hope it turns out for the best real soon. *hugs*
        Sometimes you need to be told the truth in order to be able to see it.

        My journal

        I see grain people...

        Exist in shadow, drifting away.

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        • something will come your way soon, darlin.
          sigpic

          HANDS OFF MY BACON :: my primal journal

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          • Don't feel weak for crying---it's cleansing. Have a private, primal rage! And don't settle for less than what you deserve. Sometimes it takes a little longer but it will happen! Try ice or ice water held on the inside where the tooth is coming in. Sure it only numbs it for awhile, but any relief is good relief!

            Best wishes!
            Starting Weight/BMI: 184/29.7
            Current Weight/BMI: 130 /21.0
            Ultimate Goal: 125/18

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            • Dinner: cheeseburger (colby cheese) patties on iceberg lettuce, roma tomatoes, and avocado. Frozen Banana w/ cream cheese later.
              Sleep: 9.5 hrs
              exercise: belly dance 1.5 hrs before getting too hot (no A/C in the dance studio) and having to stop and go home (Thanks for the ride, Victoria!) Rode my bike there.
              avoid trauma/ poison: wisdom tooth still causing heinous amounts of pain, still using cloves and naproxen sodium. Had a crumb of bread that came off one of the rolls I was slicing (for everyone else) without even thinking about it.
              Play: belly dancing
              IF: 20 hrs
              Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
              My Latest Journal

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              • Things lookin' good as always on your end! Way to go!
                sigpic

                Signature Approved by Mark Sisson

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                • I need too stop using my tooth as an excuse for ice cream. Both yesterday and today I had 3/4 c chocolate explosion ice cream w/ berries
                  1. Eat lots of animals, insects and plants.
                  D: Desi Murgh curry
                  Dessert: yogurt w/ berries, 3/4 c ice cream

                  2. Move around a lot at a slow pace.
                  Did some shopping for cheap food earlier. Found a decent little carniceria, but I need to brush up on my Tienda Spanish to figure out what all those cheap pieces of meat were.
                  By the by, if you have a Save- A- Lot near you, GO. They're having their 5 packs for $20 sale. I got 10 lb meat (including chix boob, thigh, bottom round, and beef stew meat) for $20

                  3. Lift heavy things.
                  Got my ass up off the bed, does that count?

                  4. Run really fast every once in a while.
                  not today

                  5. Get lots of sleep.
                  11 hrs

                  6. Play.
                  Borderlands tonight with Husband.

                  7. Get some sunlight every day.
                  Vitamin D 8k IU

                  8. Avoid trauma.
                  check

                  9. Avoid poisonous things.
                  ice cream

                  10. Use your mind.
                  Not as much as I should have.
                  Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
                  My Latest Journal

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                  • Mmmm....curry
                    Is Desi Murgh anything like Sindhi Murgh? Recipe, please (when you get a chance?)
                    Hope your tooth feels better soonest.

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                    • Kuno-
                      I don't think so. I'll dig out the recipe when I get home.
                      Also,
                      OWWWWWWW!!!!! I now know why babies are so cranky when teething. I can at least do something when I hurt. Not much, but something.
                      Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
                      My Latest Journal

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                      • I love Aleve knockoff. Holy crow.
                        Anywho, Had gelato last night after I filled everything in. *grumble snarl*
                        Work is both boring and kinda fun today. Doing interpolated Base Flood Elevations based on what FEMA believes is accurate. It's boring because it involves a bunch of copy/ paste, but it has it's fun moments when I'm trying to figure out where to remove a kink here or break this line without crossing any of the lines, keeping a specific point constant, and making it relatively even and not haphazard. Use my mind? Kinda. I'm also having to use my mind not to chew my cheek when I talk, thanks to that new tooth coming in.
                        Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
                        My Latest Journal

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                        • Great. Now I'm not sure whether to strangle or thank the motherfucker (boss's boss.) I just found out that every other dept in the City (with the exception of police and fire, of course, fat golden children of the City) has been told "The budget is still too high. Start cutting positions." So I got far more advance warning than those folks. But I'm still being laid off and I'm the poster child for "last in, first out." Like I said, I'm not sure whether to strangle him or thank him.
                          Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
                          My Latest Journal

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                          • that sucks!
                            thank him while you stranlgle.
                            sigpic

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                            • Originally posted by MeatMe216 View Post
                              that sucks!
                              thank him while you stranlgle.
                              +1
                              Strive for healthy today.

                              Satisfaction is the death of desire.

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                              • Originally posted by MeatMe216 View Post
                                that sucks!
                                thank him while you stranlgle.
                                Hmmmmm.... interesting. But he's grain fed though, so there's no point in fully killing him. But just enough to make him unemployable.... yes, yes, this could work....
                                Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
                                My Latest Journal

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