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  • Originally posted by naiadknight View Post
    Beware if you go get tested: mention any family history of a mental disorder and they'll want to put you on a "preventative dose" for it if a med exists for it.
    So if I mention that both of my nieces and myself have gone through therapy before I'm screwed hun? What about dementia the fact that my entire family is full of bitches? Is being a bitch a mental disorder? Not talking TBM style, just true upfront bitches.
    Georgette

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    • Originally posted by naiadknight View Post
      Beware if you go get tested: mention any family history of a mental disorder and they'll want to put you on a "preventative dose" for it if a med exists for it.
      This makes me wonder how much of a kickback docs get from prescribing meds. There has to be some pay off for them, that or they are piss scared of getting sued if they miss something so over prescribe to be safe.

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      • If you only got therapy, but were never diagnosed, you should be fine. As to the dementia and bitches, if they didn't put me on antipsychotics after hearing what Mom and Dad were like growing up, you should be fine. Besides, a Mean Cunt (the dark flip side of a TBM style Tough Bitch) needs therapy more than she needs drugs, so that shouldn't cause them to push drugs your way for that. If you or a blood relative were diagnosed, that's when things get interesting.
        I noticed something else about the new drug: my anxiety is (almost all) gone. As in, even that baseline anxiety is nearly nonexistent.
        Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
        My Latest Journal

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        • Originally posted by canio6 View Post
          This makes me wonder how much of a kickback docs get from prescribing meds. There has to be some pay off for them, that or they are piss scared of getting sued if they miss something so over prescribe to be safe.
          Given my track record, and my mother's track record, the "preventative dose" in this case is a CYA measure. Suicide attempts run in the family. I even got word back from my folks yesterday that my middle sis had tried to off herself in jail. While that doesn't surprise me (she got even more fouled up in the head than I did growing up), it was still a bit of a shock.
          Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
          My Latest Journal

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          • My family is more Mean Cunt. Considering that I grew up in a very emotionally abusive household, I'm surprised I'm not really truly fucked up and certifiably nuts. Between my husband and being primal, a good portion of the anxiety and fear from the emotional abuse has left.
            Georgette

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            • Originally posted by geostump View Post
              My family is more Mean Cunt. Considering that I grew up in a very emotionally abusive household, I'm surprised I'm not really truly fucked up and certifiably nuts. Between my husband and being primal, a good portion of the anxiety and fear from the emotional abuse has left.
              Sounds familiar. Having a rock for the bad times is a good thing, and vit having the ups and downs of the carb cycle helps too. I'm still attacking the monster in the cage (the darker parts of my past that were "safely" sealed away), but he's a lot smaller.
              Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
              My Latest Journal

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              • My mom used to babysit the girls while we worked and for a few years when they were between 3-5, she would do her best to make me feel like I was totally worthless and I would come home in tears almost every night. My oldest sister was also in on the same shit with mom. My husband walked up to mom's(had the oldest sis come over as she lived next door) and basically had a talk with them. He never really told me all that he said but the abuse ended pretty much immediately. After that, everything moved to the back of my mind. When mom died 4 years ago, all the memories came flooding back and they just started going away this past January when I started living primally. I was going though therapy, anti-depressants and nothing worked. When I went primal, the light came on and I let everything go. The only good thing is that I have never been like this with my own kids and I refuse to be. It's a struggle daily but I do it.
                Georgette

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                • I'm glad you aren't passing the sins of your mother onto your kids. I REALLY am. I'm trying to break that cycle myself. I've managed to let go of the stuff abt Dad, but my relationship with Mom is an entirely different animal. I'm a lot further than I thought I'd ever get, but there's stll more trauma I need to acknowledge and deal with.
                  Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
                  My Latest Journal

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                  • Thanks, its hard not to, but when I feel something well up, I leave. My second oldest sister is just like mom with her kids(she had it worse than I did) and I'm afraid that her oldest daughter may just be the same way with her baby when it's older. My niece is showing signs of being just like her mom when she was pregnant and I am scared for the baby.

                    Since dad was ill when I was young, he really was not a big part of my life. Mom was pretty much out of the picture until I was 8 as she worked nights and took care of dad in the days. I was literally raised by second oldest sister until I was 10 for the most part. When she moved out though, that's really when things changed.
                    Georgette

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                    • Dad was drunk half the time he was home. Another quarter of the time he was on his way to being drunk/ asleep. when he was sober and awake, he was the best Dad I could've ever asked for.
                      Because of Mom and Dad, I grew up really quickly, pretty much raising both my sisters from about the time Youngest was 3 and I was 10. That's prob part of why I'm so fucked up, but I don't dwell on it (usually.) That's just how it was. It still hurts to think abt Middle being jail, a subconscious "I guess I fucked that one up" type thing. I don't believe that, but it's hard to convice the subconscious of something new.
                      Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
                      My Latest Journal

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                      • Originally posted by naiadknight View Post
                        Dad was drunk half the time he was home. Another quarter of the time he was on his way to being drunk/ asleep. when he was sober and awake, he was the best Dad I could've ever asked for.
                        Because of Mom and Dad, I grew up really quickly, pretty much raising both my sisters from about the time Youngest was 3 and I was 10. That's prob part of why I'm so fucked up, but I don't dwell on it (usually.) That's just how it was. It still hurts to think abt Middle being jail, a subconscious "I guess I fucked that one up" type thing. I don't believe that, but it's hard to convice the subconscious of something new.
                        I know what you mean with that. I think this is why I was on the fence about marriage and kids. The sister that raised me recently told me that if the man she is married to wouldn't have asked her to get married she would never have done it. She got married to get away from mom. The other 2 never had kids but where more or less mom's favorites until one of them got married. The oldest will never marry, she doesn't trust men and that's whole other heap of crap. The one that is married with no kids, left Ohio within a year of getting married. She was the smart one.
                        Georgette

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                        • I think I've actually found another anthem. I've always held Pink Floyd's "Learning to Fly" as my anthem, around the time I broke up with abusive ex, I added Blood of Cu Chulainn as an anthem. I think I may have replaced "Learning to Fly." That fit me back when I was in college and HS, when I was trying to find my way and figure out who I was. It fit, especially in my darker times. Now it feels like a shroud, a memory.
                          I think it got replaced with Pink's "Fucking Perfect." An acknowledgment of the past, of my failures and triumphs, interspersed with reminders that even though I'm still on my path, I determine my path, and I create who I am. A reminder that, even if it all goes to hell, I'm too strong to give up. A reminder of one of my key tenets: "Fuck 'em all, it's my life and my decision." A reminder that falling in line isn't who I am. The present creates my future. Hell, the present is the egg of the growing future. I've never been one to stand in the ranks and accept what is expected of me, be the perfect fairytale maiden. I am my own person, and, even though I'm not done yet, I'm fucking perfect as is.
                          Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
                          My Latest Journal

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                          • Love "Fucking Perfect" and love Pink. I am finally embracing my imperfections. It's what makes me, me.
                            Georgette

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                            • Latest TBM: Breaking the Box
                              Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
                              My Latest Journal

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                              • as an Insecure Iron Maiden: It looks nice until you get inside ... dude, that is one great line. (Not today's I understand but badass none the less)

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