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    Hi! I'm P. Thank you for visiting my journal!

    I often ramble, so I'm going to bullet my story to keep it short and sweet.
    Age: 29
    Height: 5'5
    Weight: 130 ish (I do not own a scale or weigh myself regularly)
    Family: Partner J, Little Rockstar (3 1/2) and Tiny Rockstar (15 m)
    Goals: Manage depression, anxiety and BED.

    Sent from my LG-E617G using Marks Daily Apple Forum mobile app
    Last edited by justme; 12-03-2013, 12:27 PM.

  • #2
    10/20/13

    Food:

    IF for 12 hrs (11 pm-11 am) due to not being hungry.

    2 cups coffee.
    L: Avocado w/salsa.
    D: Rotisserie chicken.
    2 bars dark chocolate.
    The stringy side pieces of LR's mango.
    Peanut butter.

    Activity:

    A bunch of walking, carrying and dancing TR, playing with the babies (playing imitation with LR is like a whole workout by itself!).

    My absolutes, beginning (or continuing) tomorrow: No gluten (I'm not sure how many months it has been, maybe around 6?). No dairy (retested it and TR suffered, poor baby). No soy. No processed junk. No refined sugar. No seed oils.
    Last edited by justme; 10-21-2013, 07:18 AM.

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    • #3
      Welcome!

      Sounds like a good plan.

      BED is tough, as are all the things we all need to conquer, and I wish you much success on your Primal adventure.
      "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

      B*tch-lite

      Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

      Comment


      • #4
        Thanks, JoanieL!

        10/21/13

        Food:

        2 cups coffee.
        B: 2 eggs. Braised cabbage, onion and carrots. Apple.
        Almond butter.
        L: Avocado w/salsa. Carrots. Pear.
        Turkey sausage. Chicken skin and meat (was taking drumstick meat off the bones to use in a different dish).
        D: Salmon cake. Fries.
        Peanut butter. Banana.

        Activity:

        Pushed the babies around in a box. What a workout!!

        Sent from my LG-E617G using Marks Daily Apple Forum mobile app
        Last edited by justme; 11-23-2013, 09:02 PM.

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        • #5
          Starting today, I'm going to cut out snacks. If I get hungry between meals, I will just have more of whatever I ate. I have noticed that the only thing that I'm tempted to binge on is the snacks - nut butters, coconut butter, macadamia nuts. I'm replacing one crutch - chocolate and salty processed junk - with another - snacks, because that is how I have dealt with stress for weeks. It's still a step in the right direction - replacing sugar and other junk with real food. But I think that it is causing my body to have to work too hard, and right now I want to heal, so I need to calm it down.
          I love and will miss the almond butter, though, so my first Big Woop (I have no idea what to call these, as I hate the word cheat, and I don't treat myself with food) after J's next payday will be this: Easy Raw Fudge (Vegan, Paleo) Detoxinista Nut butter + cacao = yum!
          I'm also going to cut back to 1 cup of coffee today (yikes!) and none for a week after that. The thought of actually cutting it out causes me anxiety, but I can take a rest week.
          I went to bed at 7 last night, and I'm still exhausted. I think for the next 6 days, I'm going to go to bed with TR. Without my phone. While nursing her to sleep used to be my only time to read, but I think it is keeping us both up. I'm also leaving my phone alone during the day. Check it once during the day and turn the sound on so that I'm aware of texts or calls, but otherwise don't touch it.
          Healing.

          10/22/13

          Food:

          IF from 7 pm-7 am.
          Filtered water w/ACV
          1 cup coffee
          B: Egg pizza (as LR calls it - it's a fritatta with leftover pot roast, spinach, red peppers and mushrooms)
          L: Sweet mustard roast (A Year of Slow Cooking: Sweet Mustard Roast (beef or pork) Slow Cooker Recipe) - I subbed honey for the molasses and reduced both the honey and the mustard to 1/4 cup. The rest of the braised cabbage and carrots. No one else in my house will eat it, and for that, they are all crazy. It's delicious!
          D: Chicken dish TBD. Spaghetti squash w/coconut oil.
          1 piece of fruit after each meal.

          Activity:

          It is raining atm, so I will update later.

          Comment


          • #6
            I am definitely not going to be able to write daily detailed posts like many of the journalers here, but I do need the accountability and a place to share my thoughts on Primal living. I don't know anyone else IRL who lives a Primal life, and even if we simply share that we avoid gluten and dairy, many people are incredulous and confused. If they only knew the full scope of what we avoid!
            We did not choose Primal because this is how Grok lived (well, partially - more on that in a second). We chose it because it made sense. By cutting out the cheap, 'easy' food choices, and choosing the highest quality that we can afford, we are giving our children the absolute best nutrition that we can as they start their lives. That matters a lot to us. We have cut down to bare minimum in every other area of our lives in order to give our children the very best, and I'm proud of that. This month was one of the hardest that we have ever faced - to the point where some days, I worried and obsessed how we were going to eat. It made us face two hard truths - 1) that I need to find a job where I can work weekends while J can be with the babies, and 2) that we can no longer afford anything besides the bare minimum in organic food (soft skinned fruit and vegetables, and possibly not even that - we will re evaluate at the end of November). It really bothers me to buy non organic food, especially meat, knowing what I know, but I need to focus on the fact that we are still feeding them real food. (Before you ask, yes, we have tried everything that we can to make it possible for us, and no, bulk buying is not an option right now.)
            In a way, the fact that Grok ate these foods does matter - it makes so much sense to me that whole foods are easily recognized and utilized by our bodies. Especially because I have experienced it first hand so many times. My body hates processed foods!
            Primal also helps me in my struggle with the issues that I listed - BED, depression, anxiety. Wheat and sugar send me on a rollercoaster of mood swings and make the cravings stronger. Knowing that I could plunge even further keeps me honest a lot - it has kept me away from wheat for months, and lately I find myself rejecting the idea of chocolate, as well. Chocolate is my #1 junk of choice, so that is a huge victory for me.
            In November, I am going to be doing a Primal Refresher (my style). My guidelines will be:
            - No legumes (have been craving and eating a lot of peanut butter lately).
            - No dairy (it has already been over a week since I tried reintroducing it. This is an easy choice since TR is allergic).
            - No vegetable oils (we have been caving in to tortilla chips pretty often).
            - No grains.
            - No refined sugar (this will be the hardest one. I love 80% and higher chocolate and there is only one local company that I know of that makes bars without refined sugar. I will be making raw fudge to satisfy my chocolate cravings).
            - Only fair trade chocolate/cacao powder (because of this: http://www.kitchenstewardship.com/20...cF6fZ0oOEQ6.01)
            I will start journaling my food/activity again tomorrow.
            Last edited by justme; 11-23-2013, 09:03 PM.

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            • #7
              Tried to change the title of my journal, and it didn't work. Can I do that?

              Sent from my LG-E617G using Marks Daily Apple Forum mobile app

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              • #8
                This morning in the shower, it occurred to me how much better my skin was, and I realized how many improvements I have experienced since beginning the Primal lifestyle. I hadn't thought that they were all that impressive (since I haven't lost 100 lbs or anything), but when I started listing them, I changed my mind. I'm posting this as a reminder and encouragement for myself!
                - Skin is less dry. In previous winters, I got so dry that I cracked and bled. I could never go a day without lotion. The skin beside my mouth and on my hands was always flaky. Now I get some occasional flakiness.
                - The keratosis pilaris on the backs of my arms has reduced. I was really shocked to realize this as I was feeling back there this morning. I have had those bumps for as long as I can remember.
                - No more chronic nasal drip. I didn't even realize how bad it was until I watched some videos that I had made and I was sniffing the WHOLE time! I find that I'm stuffy and drippy again as soon as I eat junk.
                - Much less bloating. Yesterday I had a really bad BED day, but ate nothing but real food, and today I'm not even bloated.
                - BM more regular. When I binge on junk food, I experience a lot of pain and it takes atleast half of the next day for my stomach to go back to feeling normal. If I overeat real food, my stomach is annoyed, but not overly distressed.
                - Less cravings. This is huge for someone with BED. Refined sugar = endlessly jonesing for more. Fruit = satisfied and able to stop. I am going to exercise caution with anything sweetened with natural sweeteners, such as honey.
                - Less pain. I have a back condition, and in the past, if I didn't go to my chiropractor every month, I would just keep getting worse until one day I wouldn't be able to function. Now I still go monthly, but leading up to that, I have hardly a twinge. Also, I was getting such bad bunion and knee pain before that it was starting to scare me, and now that is completely gone.

                I'll add more as I remember them!
                Last edited by justme; 10-30-2013, 06:10 AM.

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                • #9
                  Howdy!! Just popping in to say hi & to say thanks for visiting over in my journal. I'll be reading here for a bit to get to know you a bit better.

                  Have a great day!!
                  Goal: Don't worry be happy!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    10/30/13

                    Food:

                    Supplements - Vit D, Rescue Remedy
                    B - 2 hard boiled eggs
                    L - 2 hard boiled eggs & 1 avocado w/salsa
                    D - 2 salmon & quinoa cakes

                    Tomorrow is grocery day, thank the angels.

                    Activity:

                    Most days, LR and TR keep me in constant motion, and I love it! Today it varied from rocking horse to piggy back rides to box races.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Accountability - I also ate fries (home made), 1/2 avocado, a Larabar and 1/2 bag chips last night.
                      I have felt nauseous and allergy and exhausted kind of sick all day. Obviously, it was the chips. They were a merry mashup of vegetable oil, sugar and grain.
                      I have noticed that many people don't record their food, but for the sake of accountability and future tweaking, I will for now.

                      Kicking off my No Junk November (has a nice ring to it, hey?) today.

                      Food:

                      Supplements: Vit D, RR
                      1 coffee, black (limit of my tolerance, sigh)
                      B: 2 eggs
                      S: 1/2 avocado (no salsa, since it has sugar - bah!)
                      L: 2 eggs
                      S: 1 egg
                      D: 1/4 rotisserie chicken
                      S: apple & almond butter

                      Activity:

                      Will be wearing TR for around an hr while grocery shopping. I have zero energy. I need to remember this feeling!

                      Sent from my LG-E617G using Marks Daily Apple Forum mobile app

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I almost forgot about Thankful Thursday (a la primalcajun, thanks lady!)

                        Tonight I am thankful that I can still kiss away my babies' pain and solve it with something as simple as a warm bath. Earlier, LR had 'growing pains' that were so painful that he was crying. As soon as he sat down in a warm bath, his little face changed from tight with pain and sadness to relaxed and happy. He said, "Legs is ok now." It filled my heart with so much love and relief. I am so thankful for these beautiful, amazing, precious little people.

                        I am also thankful that our fridge and cupboards are once again full of lovely primal food.

                        Sent from my LG-E617G using Marks Daily Apple Forum mobile app

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                        • #13
                          Justme that was a very touching post. Keep up the good work
                          link to my journal http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread97129.html

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Hi, Jacmac! Thanks for your sweet comment

                            I woke up with so much energy. Impatient to get up at 6 am. It was a neat feeling.

                            I need to toot my own horn for a minute. All week, I have had constant commentary in my head arguing the pros and cons of giving in to the craving for Oreos that has been hanging around for ages. I don't understand why it wont go away. I didn't. I also didn't buy anything else on my black list.

                            I did buy a raw 82% dark chocolate bar. And enjoyed the hell out of it. It is sweetened with unrefined cane juice crystals - so not refined, but still sugar. I will be probably be waiting to have another until Dec. I love that it satisfied my chocolate craving so completely and did not leave me jonesing for more sugar.

                            Fudge is made, bone broth is on, and carnitas are in the oven. TGIF!

                            Sent from my LG-E617G using Marks Daily Apple Forum mobile app

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                            • #15
                              I want chocolate, just plain dark chocolate. What to do, what to do.

                              Well ... we have a self imposed restriction on buying anything else until next Friday. So ... wait until then, buy another one of those dark chocolate bars, and have one square a night? I know what sugar does to me, so even though it is not refined and I don't seem to react to it the same way I react to other sugar, am I flirting with disaster?

                              Yesterday I never stopped eating. Nothing on my black list. I am being patient and kind to myself and letting my body tell me what to do. I have been binge eating and restricting since I was 12 and now I feel like I have a lot of healing to do and I need to get to know my body all over again. In Nov, my only focuses will be avoiding my black list and not restricting. When I feel strong enough, I will tackle the BED.

                              Cooked like crazy again today. Beef stew (Mark's recipe), lemon chicken, and no bake pumpkin tarts (sans crust, Detoxinista's recipe).

                              11/02/13

                              Food:

                              1 black coffee.
                              B: 2 eggs. Apple.
                              L: 1 can wild salmon. 1 potato. Banana.
                              D: Lemon chicken. 1 sweet potato. Pear.
                              S: 1/4 pint chocolate coconut milk icecream.

                              Look ... no snacks! I consciously forced myself to eat more carbs then usual (I didn't even realize that I wasn't eating that many) and I felt more satiated. Needing to snack makes me feel kind of annoyed and bingey, so I would be happy if it went away.

                              Some weight and diet history ...

                              Highest non pregnant weight: 165 I think
                              Highest pregnant weight: 185 (lost all 40 lb of pregnancy weight within 6 weeks with both babies)
                              Lowest weight: 117 (NOT healthy, was restricting severely and no longer had a period)

                              My beginning is a story that is too common ... issues with food and self esteem stemming from my childhood in an abusive environment.

                              Before having LR, I used CW and strict calorie counting to lose from 150 to 117. Looking back, I was literally starving myself, and I often binged when I was alone. Then I enrolled in an intense 6 month college course, started working full time to make ends meet, and the BED ROARED back to centre stage. I would finish class, rush to work, come home and eat myself into a coma, every chance I had. The stress was crushing. By the time I graduated, I had regained almost, if not all, of the weight.

                              I was 140 when I got pregnant with LR. After he was born, I went 10 months without a single binge - the longest span of time ever. I was so immersed in being a mom. I lost back down to 120, again with CW but this time in a more healthy manner. As the return of work loomed, I realized that I didn't want to leave my baby, but that I had to. The binges crept back. I gained back to 140 and stayed there until I got pregnant with TR.

                              And now ... I wonder if 130 is my body's happy weight. One day, when I have the time, I will focus on getting more fit. For now, I am ok with simply learning how to take care of my body.

                              Sent from my LG-E617G using Marks Daily Apple Forum mobile app

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