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Thank you Coll. That is a great advice about seeking God. I have been thinking about doing a fast to seek God in this bondage. To get to the truth and be freed. I know in other areas of my life where there has been bondage it has been a lie that I have believed. Once it was revealed I was free. You are right it is a journey but I think it is more like a battle, that the enemy is trying to defeat me. My aunt encouraged me yesterday that the battle will be ultimately won. I just need to regroup and fight back to win. I will do as you suggested about the pen, paper and Bible.
Today is Coll. Thanks for thinking of me! I realize this is a battle for me and I'm just going to have skirmishes until the battle is won. I am back on track today and I've decided to do a fast when my daughter goes out of town. It will be a good time for me to focus and not have distractions.
I may have fallen but I haven't given up. (dusting myself off)
We all have our moments I got into some ice cream this morning .... oh dear! Just keep on keeping on and keep your focus and try to be intentional about what you do and eat. Thinking of you. And yes, fasting can certainly help you refocus Enjoy!
I haven't posted since the holidays because of shame. I failed so miserably through the holidays. I couldn’t bear it. I have gained 10 pounds back, of course. I know eating for me is just not being disciplined. It is my comfort. This is so hard. The vicious cycle of hating how I look and feel but all the while needing the comfort of the food. How could I be so determined and lose the weight but be derailed just weeks later? I’m starting over again today. It’s Monday. I feel bad but I know I can’t give up.
You came back! And that's what matters It seems like I fall off the wagon every day, but you just keep going, you know what the right thing to do is and gradually you will find it easier to make the right choices. You'll be fine!
Well I've done fairly well the past few weeks. I've lost 6 of the 12 pounds I gained. I have been working on my sleep. I have been staying up too late watching TV so this weekend I started going to bed at 9:30 pm. I feel pretty good this morning. Next week I need to focus on exercise. I have not found something I will do consistently. Oh the journey I am traveling. I haven't given up so surely I will succeed.
I'm hit and miss posting but I'm doing well. I realized today I am finally fat adapted!! Yay! I have been pretty consistent with eating primal. I have even cut down on the dairy that I used to eat/drink. It somehow came naturally. I have been using RS (potato starch) but just 1 T for now. It has helped me sleep and my blood sugar has shown a bit improvement. I'm satisfied now with my 2 squares of 85% cocoa bars. I started walking on my breaks at work and this week I added another mile after I get home. I've been doing arm exercises with 3 lbs weights. I've got to get rid of the bat wings! I've lost 10 pounds so far and my first goal is 17 more lbs away. Then my BMI will be just overweight and not obese. I feel positive and I've feel like I've changed. I believe I will be successful this time. So much seems different to me in a positive way. Maybe I am growing after all and not trapped to the past failures.
I do feel like I'm not really loosing the weight very fast. I'm not sure what's going on but when I get down to it, I made a decision for my health and diabetes not my body image (weight). So I'm okay. I know I have challenges being diabetic and post menopausal. I just keep plugging along and remember today is better than yesterday (past).
Teri, well done for picking yourself up again. Most of us have a lot of ups and downs along the way. What counts is getting up again after a complete nose dive and starting to walk again. I had a spectacular fail this weekend with Easter which always bums me out. I mean, Easter is all about the freedom I have through Jesus' sacrifice and it is probably the hardest time of the year for me to walk in that freedom!! All those emotional connections to sugar highs. But, once again, I will get up and try again and will keep trusting for complete freedom. You are making progress - don't get caught in how fast you are doing it. That is a nasty trap and you can get false expectations for how fast you 'should' be going. It is about being healthy first and making good choices more and more consistently. The weight and body image will come... I'm proud of you!! Well done! I am also doing the RS and it seems to be helping in a number of ways. Glad to hear it is helping you too. I started out with just 1 teaspoon and went very gradually increasing it. I'm up to 3 tablespoons a day now and am just keeping it there for now.
Thanks Coll so much!!! You are right about the freedom in Christ. I think that is why things feel different this time. I have a hard time with trust because both my parents betrayed me. So even though I know Jesus is trustworthy I could not trust. He has healed me from the wounds of my parents and I know through my weight issue, or let's just call it what it is...gluttony, He is showing me how to trust Him day by day. I thank Him for my weight problem and that it gives me an opportunity to trust Him. So I am trusting Him day by day for my life. He has never let me down!!!
I was thinking yesterday and this morning that I still need to adjust my food but I'm not sure. I keep gaining a couple of ounces a day. I'm up to 12 ounces this week. I started adding another mile in my walking and doing the arm lifting so I don't know if it is muscle that I'm building or I'm eating out of wack. Just have to see I guess. I do need to quit obsessing about the weight of sorts but I see it as my progress. I need to find something else to measure by I guess.