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Primal Diva's Journal: From FMP's to VFF's!

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  • #31
    Still standing- loving the stand-up work station. I haven't been wearing the GoWearFit, as it appears to a. not compute worth a damn because in my case, calories in/calories out is a complete lie, and b. I want to lose the white ring around my upper arm before we leave for ROME next Monday!

    I also haven't been weighing in every day. I will check in with the scale before I leave, so I have a benchmark weight when I get back.

    My eating has been great, with one notable exception. Hubby and a friend and I went out last weekend. I tend to drink about two martinis a month- usually, I save drinking as an indulgence for when I go out with friends- as my closest good friend (besides hubby, of course) lives 45 minutes away, getting together is always an Occasion.

    So: The three of us hit an Irish pub. I have been experimenting with my hair- not washing it as often, and wearing it in a more natural style. In my case, this means really wavy and sort of all-over-the-place, since I have cut way back on hairspray and other crap due to the not-washing it thing.

    Evidently, the pub was fairly authentic, due to the presence of actual people with Irish accents, one of whom was a blonde guy with a fantastic shiner on one side (by the looks of it, obtained in a Friday night brawl) who approached me while my friend and I were waiting at the bar while hubby parked the car, and said, incongruously and with a charming lilt, "Hello there, you with your lovely curls!"

    A woman in a skin-tight red dress actually approached me in the ladies room to compliment me on my hair. "It's gorgeous, altogether! How do you get it to do that?"

    I can surmise from this that: my hair looks halfway decent. Or I am very au courant, but only in Ireland. Or that Irish people are nice, but crazy!

    Anyway. Hair complements aside, we ended up leaving after one drink and heading to another pub called "The Swingin' Door", which offered duelling pianos. I have been there before, but this time, there was only a single piano player, and while he knew a song by Lit, he only knew one Chuck Berry song, which was a little sad. We had a blast anyway, and I had another martini. Then another.

    According to The Man, I drank four dirty martinis. Then on the way to drop my friend off, she said, "Wow, I totally want some Taco Bell." And of course, that seemed like the BEST IDEA EVER. I don't miss much, but boy, do I miss TBell, especially when I have been drinking. I think it's more of a nostalgia thing than anything else.

    I remember dipping chips in fake cheese and saying cheerfully, "I am going to be so sick tomorrow!"

    The next day I felt tired and bloaty, but fine. Crisis averted! Right?

    WRONG. Three days later, I am having a horrible, HORRIBLE breakout, and my face is magenta. *&%$!
    With Mark's help, I've conquered depression, acne, rosacea, scale obsession, migraines, and lethargy. Who knows what tomorrow will bring?

    My Journal:


    • #32
      I've been around: sort of.

      The trip to Italy was awesome. It is good to be back. Once again, I managed to maintain on vacation, but I am still vacillating on the scale between 237 and 233. The Man has been coming around, and announced that he would try out my grain-free ways while on vacation. He did quite a bit of cheating, and still managed to lose 7 lbs. I am proud of him, but this is further proof that life is unfair.

      My big problem is (and always has been) getting exercise in. So The Man and I have decided that August is going to be our big start. I asked what he wanted to do- he refuses to join a gym again- and of course, he said, "jogging." So we are going to be running intervals a few days a week, walking on our days "off" for cardio. We're both pretty out of shape, but it's something, at least. And I have doc's clearance to start back up at the gym in September!

      This morning we took the doggies out and ran for three short intervals through the wildlife preserve, walking in-between. I realized that running is initially hard, but each interval seemed to get a little easier as my body got used to huffing and puffing. It was nice, I feel like we accomplished something, and the doggies definitely enjoyed it. We'll just have to see if we can keep it up longer than the first week!
      With Mark's help, I've conquered depression, acne, rosacea, scale obsession, migraines, and lethargy. Who knows what tomorrow will bring?

      My Journal:


      • #33
        me, jealous
        Even if you fall flat on your face, at least you're moving forward!


        • #34
          Hey Jennella; I can tell you about the humidity and the voracious mosquitoes, if that would make you feel better! If you ever do go to Italy, July and August should be avoided. It was definitely beautiful, and I got to see Venice for the first time, which was mind-blowing. Also, expensive. Yeowtch!

          Today I am in a crazy mood, and I just have to sound my thunderous YAWP to the rooftops because I have broken the plateau I have been on since MARCH and am now seeing 232 on the scale. The key ingredient is one of Mark's rules that I felt didn't apply to me. I rationalized, "I have so much weight to lose...surely he's just talking to those people who want to be around 10% body fat when he talks about this "sprinting" thing?" I will just say, I did it once (on Monday) and I was up at the high end of my range, (237) that morning.

          That's insane, peeps. The other insane part of the equation: I had a huge, sodium-laden skillet at Denny's and went over my carbs a little yesterday (once again, potatoes are my enemy), so I may be seeing even more progress as the week goes on. We'll see if it might be somewhat due to raising my carbohydrates a little? I think more experimentation is order. Still, I am thrilled!
          With Mark's help, I've conquered depression, acne, rosacea, scale obsession, migraines, and lethargy. Who knows what tomorrow will bring?

          My Journal:


          • #35
            I forgot to sleep last night. 4 hours is not enough.

            Dragged my sorry behind out of bed, got dressed to run, and decided to try out my Vibrams, since we're only doing intervals. I can run in my Vibrams for short distances, right?

            This is true, if I am on packed dirt or on wet sand or on grass, or some kind of forgiving surface. I think even asphalt would have been better than what I was attempting to run on, which is hard-pan dirt, studded with sharp gravel and spiky embedded rocks. Walking on that %$#@ is uncomfortable, and running on it was sheer torture. I gutted out the first three intervals, until the bruised and battered foot pads hollered at me not to be a dumba$$ and I walked the rest.

            Another complication. We took dogs with us. The big guy, Bosco, is pretty ok, but this area has a lot of people who like to let their dogs off-leash, and our little Moxie is VERY ANGRY about this. She's aggressive towards other dogs in general, so she is always on leash with her Gentle Leader headcollar. He reaction to seeing another dog is to go full-scale insane, since she can't attack (and likely get her 19 lb. butt kicked, or get us sued) the sweet senior citizen Golden Retrievers who just want to say hi and exchange courteous sniffs are completely bemused by her aggression. Their owners get offended or amused at her crazy lunging and yapping and snarling. Then, while I am trying to drag her down the trail, she goes "rodeo", desperately wallowing and scraping her face against the ground in the effort to get free so she can attack and kill the dog who is 4 times her size.

            She crazy. I picture her inner monologue, which is along these lines, "You lookin' at me, %$#@*? I'ma rip out that NASTY WEAVE!"

            I mean it. She's like a typical Jerry Springer guest, except she's trying to start a brawl with Vanessa Redgrave or something. It's horrifying.

            This is Moxie:

            I am going to have to read The Dog Whisperer's books again. Maybe I should start in the index under "Napoleon complex."

            Eating has been good. I am trying to keep track with FitDay, and it definitely seems to be helping. The Man is sticking with the general idea of The Primal Blueprint, although he refuses to read the book. I am trying to take it in stride and be gently encouraging, since I grew up with people scrutinizing EVERY single thing I ate, and I know how much it sucks. The fact that my bread-addicted husband is even giving this a shot is amazing, and any change in his eating habits is a step in the right direction. I don't want him to give up or burn out. So scenarios like this happen:

            Me: " may bananas have you had today?"

            Him: "This is my third one. What, they're fruit: it's natural, right?"


            Me: "Why are you so cranky?"

            Him: "I AM NOT CRANKY!!!"

            Me: "Whatevs. Have fun BY YOURSELF, cranky man."

            2 hours later....

            Him: "Ok, I admit it, I cheated. I drank a soda."

            Me: "So that was a sugar crash?!"

            Him: "....maybe."

            Me: "I'm relieved that there was a reason behind it, actually."
            With Mark's help, I've conquered depression, acne, rosacea, scale obsession, migraines, and lethargy. Who knows what tomorrow will bring?


            My Journal:


            • #36

              I'm hovering at the lower end of my range. Trying not to be bitter that hubby is effortlessly melting the pounds off. But then, he's a guy: and isn't fighting the effects of a lifetime of yo-yo dieting.

              School starts again soon, and I will be back at work- hours still to be determined. But this means I will be more active, which can't be a bad thing. I am hoping for some good news, jobwise.

              The house thing is stalled: we are waiting for our "starter home" to be appraised and hopefully, to refinance. Our dream house is on the market: I am not sure how long it will last, but we are going to go for it as soon as we rearrange our finances a little. I don't want to jinx it by saying anything more!

              It's been a crazy month. I have been getting our current place organized, things have been going well for The Man and I, but it seems like everyone else is going crazy. My baby brother is going through a personal crisis, which has to do with his wife and is likely to end in divorce. Two of my friends are going through major personal upheavals right now: one is having financial problems and recently experienced the death of a parent, and the other is going through his own divorce drama. Sleep seems to be a fleeting luxury that I can't indulge in right now- my brain is in hyperdrive.

              The good thing: I participated in a Northern CA Cowpool, and have a freezer half-way full of frozen grass-fed beef! I got to meet Etomaria and her family, and had a fun journey to my old stomping grounds to collect the cow. As it turned out, 1/8 of a (butchered, frozen) cow neatly filled both of the soft-sided coolers I had brought. So far we have used some ground beef, and a roast is on the agenda for tomorrow.
              With Mark's help, I've conquered depression, acne, rosacea, scale obsession, migraines, and lethargy. Who knows what tomorrow will bring?


              My Journal:


              • #37
                A quick update. I have lost 7 lbs. since March. It is looking like I am going to be venturing back into the 220's pretty soon. I am trying not to be bitter that The Man has been doing this for about a month and has lost 15 lbs. And he has a lot more leeway in what he eats! File under "Life isn't fair" I guess.

                The good news: I am fitting into "regular clothes" again. Standard women's sizing seems to fit me better than the plus-sized stuff. I am rediscovering clothing in my closet that I haven't been able to wear in nearly two years! So I know that my body is shrinking.

                I saw my BFF a week or so ago, and she told me my body shape has changed. Actually, she said, "You look like you used to look when we were in college! Your figure is back." Sure enough, I had measured a few days before. Normally my hip measurement would only be a few inches different from my waist. Now there's a 9 inch difference between my waist and hips. WOOT!
                With Mark's help, I've conquered depression, acne, rosacea, scale obsession, migraines, and lethargy. Who knows what tomorrow will bring?


                My Journal:


                • #38
                  I am holding steady, weight-wise. I wish I could stop obsessing about that. I need to remind myself that it's about the positive, unanticipated changes that I have been experiencing. Also, 7 pounds lost is nothing to sneeze at. Most people gain 5-10 lbs. over the holidays alone, and every year up until now, I would have been one of them.

                  This was really brought home when I went home for Christmas. People who hadn't seen me in a year all said, "You look great!" and I was able to honestly respond, "Thanks! I FEEL great." Because I do.

                  I honestly never realized that before, I was sick, and felt awful. I thought that it was normal to be tired all the time, to be congested all the time, to catch every virus that came down the pipeline, to be felled by sudden migraines a few times a week, to have to wear a thick coat of makeup to cover my flushed and bumpy face. That during the winter, I would suffer from debilitating, undiagnosed, Seasonal Affective disorder. That I never wanted to get out of bed, and could always sleep though my alarm, or possibly a war. I thought that the fact that my always-thick hair was getting thinner was just a normal hormonal or age-related fluctuation- the same about my weak and peeling fingernails. I thought that my eyes were bloodshot because of my contact lenses. I thought that my inability to lose weight was due to my lack of will power. I thought that my back pain (and bloating) was linked to my period. That was how life had always been for me, since I was a teenager.

                  If you'd told me that eating grains and sugar was what caused all of that, I would never have believed you. Even though I have spent thousands and thousands of dollars on drugs, doctor's visits, products, and gadgets to address all of these things. If a genie had appeared before me, and given me three wishes, you can bet I would have blown at least two of them on weight and acne alone. I have shelves of "how to" diet books, as well as cookbooks to go along with. I have done time with Weight Watchers, South Beach, Slim Fast, Sego, diet food delivery services, too many diet pills and supplements to mention, counted carbs, fat grams, and calories...and have never managed any sustainable weight loss. I've belonged to at least 10 different gyms and I have amassed two heart rate monitors, several pedometers, and a GoWearFit over the years.

                  I have boxes of ointment for my skin: potions for rosacea and acne, both over the counter and prescribed. I spent years taking antibiotics, Retin-A, and Accutane under a dermatologist's care. My recurrent sinus infections were a family legend: after years of trying to figure out why I was always congested, a neti pot was the only thing that helped. The doctor said my nasal passages were tiny and would swell shut. He blamed particulate matter in the air for the inflammation. Obviously, just the tip of the iceberg.

                  I somehow thought this was normal.

                  Now my skin and eyes are clear and shining. I have ditched my industrial-strength makeup and potions, and will even occasionally venture out with a bare face. My hair and nails are both growing at an astronomical pace: thick and healthy. I used to wear acrylic nails and "supplement" my hair for special occasions, and now I am extension-free on both counts. My voice sounds different: people no longer think I am saying "Jedda" when I tell them my name. I have swapped all my awful prescriptions for a multi-vitamin, fish oil, and Vitamin D. I haven't been to the doctor in six months: because I have been healthy as a horse. My gadgets and potions and diet books are gathering dust, and I am thinking about putting them all on eBay!

                  So yeah. I have ONLY lost 7 pounds, but I have gained a whopping dose of health and perspective. I will take it!

                  The end of the year seems to be the time to reflect. I will be taking the next week to purge the things that I don't need, and then it's game on. I have been leaning on things like nuts and fruit and dairy too much, so I am going to tighten up the bolts in 2011. I have already sacked up my non-stick cookware to be donated. The clothing that no longer fits is going away. Meal planning starts today, and the fridge is getting emptied and restocked with yummy, healthy food. My Christmas Gifts that I asked for, I got: a KitchenAid stand mixer, cast iron cookware, and exercise clothes. I am going to be spending my time at CrossFit and in the kitchen, and I cannot wait!
                  With Mark's help, I've conquered depression, acne, rosacea, scale obsession, migraines, and lethargy. Who knows what tomorrow will bring?


                  My Journal:


                  • #39
                    Welcome, 2011!
                    For those of you who do read this, I wish you grass-fed meats, pastured eggs, and happiness. Long may your kettlebells ring.
                    With Mark's help, I've conquered depression, acne, rosacea, scale obsession, migraines, and lethargy. Who knows what tomorrow will bring?


                    My Journal:


                    • #40
                      Nice to hear from you again! I'm thrilled to see all the life changing, positive results that have taken place fore you this last year! I agree with the mens weight loss and putting in the "life is not fair file"....I don't know how they do it?! My guess is they don't over analyze, beat themselves up, or obsess over their choices, they just do it...and continue on, end of story.
                      My goal is to be like a guy for the new year hahaha.
                      Have a great New Year, and keep looking fabulous and feeling great!


                      • #41
                        Thanks Evita! Happy New Year to you, as well! Drat those men, and their extra muscle. I think that is the culprit. The Man, (unfortunately) has been indulging quite a bit over the holiday season. i would estimate he gained back half of what he lost. He also ate all the nuts and dark chocolate I got in my Christmas stocking this year. I am about half annoyed, and half relieved.

                        I have decided to keep graphing my weight, just not putting as much emphasis on it. I have never kept up with a "diet" (way of eating, lifestyle, whatever) for this long. I would plateau, and give up. I've accepted that my body is responding to this, albeit very very slowly. Considering that I have been messing up my metabolism with CW since the age of 12, I feel lucky that the damage is at least somewhat reversible!

                        I weighed and measured as a benchmark today, and was pleasantly surprised. I am starting out 2011 at juuuust a hair under 230 (229.8, to be exact!) I am excited about that. I am even more excited about my waist to hip ratio, though. I have finally achieved the coveted 10 inch difference between the two. I will be taking "start" pictures today as well: Well, I guess they are start pictures for the year, and progress pictures for the ongoing process.

                        I am hoping to shake things up: I go back to CrossFit starting on Monday. Today is probably going to be taken up with cleaning and cooking in order to get ready for the workweek ahead.
                        With Mark's help, I've conquered depression, acne, rosacea, scale obsession, migraines, and lethargy. Who knows what tomorrow will bring?


                        My Journal:


                        • #42
                          Oh man.

                          The Man and I were talking about how universally crappy 2010 was. The last incident: Teenage kids broke into our family ranch house, disabled the burglar alarm, threw a 250+ person party, and did around $10,000 worth of damage. The worst part is that in the process of partying, a young lady either drank too much, OD'd, or was roofied, and was sexually assaulted in one of the back bedrooms. She is still in the hospital, and was in critical condition. I got that news right after I posted yesterday. That poor girl, and her family: It is heartbreaking.

                          While we are dealing with the fallout in 2011, I would like to attribute that incident to 2010. That definitely tops the existing low of last year: getting swindled by the guy who was supposedly restoring my husband's classic car was the previous low, which only just barely eclipsed my brother's divorce and my father's plunge down the cement staircase in Rome (only avoided major damage because he managed to somersault) and a few months later, his cardiac episode (which thankfully, turned out to be "nothing").

                          We were discussing the list of crap (and it is even longer, believe it or not!) but the two bright spots stand out thusly: Our trip to Italy, and finding Primal Blueprint. I have fantastic memories of our vacation: the delicious food, the gorgeous panoramas, the dolce vita attitude. The thing is, I wouldn't have had such a fantastic time without following the PB. I didn't have to worry about getting a migraine, the massive amount of walking didn't faze me, I was much more comfortable in close quarters and had more room to move on the airplane because I have shrunk a bit, and I knew I wouldn't blow up like a balloon if I did have a gelato on occasion. The voracious mosquitoes also ignored me, for the most part. Thanks Mark.

                          I go back to work, and CrossFit tomorrow. I was discouraged from doing the crazy "New Year's Excursion" but I did lend them a bunch of sledgehammers they asked for. As it turns out, the workout was a pseudo "Zombie Apocalypse." I can't believe I missed it. I am definitely going to be in shape for next year's fiesta.
                          With Mark's help, I've conquered depression, acne, rosacea, scale obsession, migraines, and lethargy. Who knows what tomorrow will bring?


                          My Journal:


                          • #43
                            Wow, that's quite horrible news. Being the mom of teenagers, even more so. Nasty way to start the New Year.

                            I was planning to say welcome back, as I enjoyed reading your journal a while back.

                            I totally agree with highlights for 2010 being finding PB and Italy! We had some days there in 2008 around a cruise and it's most definitely on the list for a return trip with more time to explore.

                            Best wishes for a totally primal 2011.
                            My musings

                            The old stuff


                            • #44
                              Thanks Greensprout: I have to say, it wasn't the best news: The people responsible for the girl are evidently in custody, and after some detective work on facebook, we found out that the kids are throwing another similar party at another house tonight. The police will be uninvited guests at this one, however. I appreciate the "Welcome back! Happy Primal New Year to you as well

                              This week has gone...well, OK. I went back to CrossFit as planned on Monday, and as a result, was absolutely crippled until Thursday morning. I was so knackered when I left on Monday, I forgot to pick up The Man's sledgehammers! Still, I will be back next Monday, and will hopefully have a shorter recovery time as my body adjusts to my renewed interest in exercise. I am shooting for two days at CrossFit this next week.

                              I can already tell that my body is happier: my weight is still all over the place, but my clothes are a smidge looser, I can see an improvement in muscle tone, and my clavicles are showing themselves to be in evidence. So the scale can go kick rocks.

                              I am also making progress in my efforts to cook at home more. I need to cook a bunch of stuff at once: that way the kitchen can stay clean in between bouts. I had a cooking fit today, so the fridge is full of healthy food: I made a great Coconut soup from the new Trader Joe's cookbook that will be fab to have on hand for lunches, along with a huge batch of hard boiled eggs, a pan of Pancetta Clafouti to grab for breakfasts...and best of all, I finally took my pressure cooker on its inaugural voyage. I was inspired by Mark's post today, and decided to make the beef stew recipe. What a revelation! I am never making a roast in the Crock pot again They always turn out dry and stringy. The stew meat turned out so juicy and flavorful when cooked in the pc, I bet roasts would be fantastic. You live and learn, I guess!
                              With Mark's help, I've conquered depression, acne, rosacea, scale obsession, migraines, and lethargy. Who knows what tomorrow will bring?


                              My Journal:


                              • #45
                                Adventure Sunday is still in full effect! Today we headed over to San Jose for a car show, followed by dinner.

                                The car show was a bit of a disappointment: we were expecting classic cars, and there were a few, but mostly it was a huge car commercial, complete with test drives. Eh. There were a few vintage Ferraris that were fun to look at, however! It also fully convinced me to hold on to my beloved convertible for as long as it will run. I'm pretty "eh" about cars that are currently out on the market. I want something that is a convertible, but with a trunk, and right now the only thing I like the specs AND the styling on is the Audi A-5, which is just not practical for us right now. House first, hopefully family soon after. Payments of a sports car are just not in the cards: and the Audi isn't exactly a budget or child friendly choice.

                                We headed to Peet's, where I splurged on a hot chocolate, and then ventured over to a Moroccan restaurant, which was much more enjoyable than the car show. We had the requisite mint tea, a spinach salad, and some appetizer-sized kebabs...for entrees, The Man ordered Imperial Couscous, and I had a fantastic and very Primal Lamb Tagine. It was delicious, and I am already trying to figure out how I will duplicate it in the pressure cooker. We were just finishing up our entrees when the music kicked up and a bellydancer came out.

                                This was a small restaurant, and I had chosen it specifically based on the atmosphere, fantastic reviews on, and of course, the dance performance. I thought The Man would take a bunch of pictures, but evidently he was feeling shy. I admit to feeling slightly smug about this, as she was very pretty and did a whole lot of shimmying.

                                This is where I decided to exercise my 20% and sample one of their desserts: sweet fillings in phyllo dough envelopes. We had strawberry with white chocolate, dark chocolate, and apricot with almonds. If I had decided to be good (or at least, make a better choice) they had an exotic mixture of oranges, cinnamon, and rose water which also sounded divine.

                                Once we were back at home, we decided to watch the first episode of The Wild Within. It's a show on the travel channel that details the hunting and gathering adventures of an accomplished outdoorsman, and it is seriously fascinating to us, as we are total city folk who aspire to be more sustainable. It would be nice to be a little less dependent on Trader Joe's for survival! It was a fun show to watch, and very inspiring. The Man says he wants to take up hunting, and I have agreed to cook anything he manages to catch, as long as he cleans it first. For now, I am thinking this is an empty threat, but you never know!
                                With Mark's help, I've conquered depression, acne, rosacea, scale obsession, migraines, and lethargy. Who knows what tomorrow will bring?


                                My Journal: